Advice needed for 6yo neice who is unhappy

[Jasmum]

My neice is just 6 and has some behavioural issues that her mum (my sil) is very concerned about. DN has always been a difficult child, many many tantrums even now. She seems very unhappy, aggressive and angry. She has become quite obsessive about things, like socks/tights not being right. Always washing her hands and has begun picking her face till it bleeds. She's a beautiful child but has always seemed angry and can throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat. One day I was there and my dd who's 3 dropped her drink. DN had an absolute meltdown...I thought she'd been hurt as she screamed and screamed like I've never heard. School says academically she's very bright but can get something in her head and not let go of it.
She's from a very stable family, Mum & Dad still together, normal, happy people. Fantastic Nan living nearby.
How can a child be so unhappy and angry? Is is nurture or nature?
What can her Mum do, she has spoken to HV who's going to follow this up in a couple of weeks and maybe refer her but in the meantime her Mum and Dad are very worried....
Just wondered if anyone else had had this with their children?

[getbakainyourjimjams]

Sounds like nature- worth seeing a clinical psych and/or developmental pead. Also worth looking for books on OCD and young children (not saying your DN has it, but may have useful tips on how to deal with the obsessions). DS1 would do that over a split drink- it's just "wrong" and off he goes. Might also be worth looking into Aspergers (again defintely not saying your niece has it- but there are lots of books out there and your SIL would be able to read up and see if she thought it fitted). Tony Attwood is often recommended.

If none of that fits I'd look at things like your niece just being very sensitive- some people recommend a boo called the indigo child- never read it- but I understand its about sensitive children.

[Troutpout]

Hi...my boy has some of the traits you mention.Not so bad with tantrums...but goes through phases of obsessional behaviour and does get very frustrated if things aren't 'right'. He was particurlarly hard work at around 5/6
Last year...he was flagged as having 'Aspergers tendencies'.
Obviously not wanting to worry you....you dn just may just be going through a bit of a phase (lets face it - they all do!) ...but it might be worth looking into