What to do with a baby?

[m4ya]

Hi everyone
This is my first conversation on Mumsnet, and I have a silly question and hope someone can help me with it!

My question is I have a 12 week old boy and I dont know what I should be doing to with him during the day to help him with his development.
Its only me and him at home during the day, he sees my partner in the evenings and family at the weekends. But Im afraid Im not encouraging his growth or development in anyway, as we dont do much with him other than talk and he rarely plays with his toys. Im stuck as to what else i should be doing? can anyway relate or HELP.

Thanx

[Nemo1977]

hi
find out if there are any groups in your area that do baby massage or baby swimming classes. At this age it is hard to find things for them to do. From my DS being 4mths old I took him to baby and parent groups more for me than him. He is now 2.3yrs and still goes to a toddler grp and i take dd 7wks old to baby massage

[Hulababy]

Talk is really important, so keep it up Talk to him about everything and anything, even if it is just a narrative of what you are doing. he won't care if it is boring or whatever. He will just love to hear your voice.

You can start looking at pictures together.

Play with his toys with him.

Sing and dance together.

Go for walks outside to experience life outside the house. Again, at 12 weeks ANY trip outside is an adventure full of things to hear and see.

TBH at 12 weeks he is still so very little, that just beong with you (or someone) when awake and alert is enough.

[Skribble]

Just keep talking . Its the one thing I didn't do so well and I swear that is why my sons speach was delayed.

Toys don't have to be the bright coloured plastic things you can play with anything thats not going to cause damage. Once they are crawling about the entire contents of a kitchen cupboard seems to be a favorite.

Sharing books is also great, even if it is bridget Jones Diary at this age he will love the attention and listen to your voice.

[jalopy]

Gosh, m4ya, I can clearly remember that feeling when I had my first baby. I just didn't know what to do with my little one. It really is a learning process. All the suggestions so far are great especially the idea about baby and toddler groups. I found them to be a life saver (for me!!).

[m4ya]

Thank you to everyone that posted a message.
The ideas are great and its put my mind at ease.
I'll try take him out the house more now, even though the weather is so miserable!
I've also just found a Rhyme group at my local library, which should be fun!

[Enthusia]

m4ya where do you live? There might be people from your area around here. I also have a rhyme group at my library but haven't been yet. My son is 13 weeks now.

[m4ya]

I live in Luton, Bedfordshire.
Anyone know of anything that goes on in the area?

[QE2]

Not far from me m4ya! I'm in Bedford. I have 5 kids - dd14, ds12, ds9, ds3 and ds1.


Was hoping to meet up with fellow mumsnetters if anyone is interesetd?

[m4ya]

hi QE2,

Im new in Luton, I recently moved from London, but meeting up sounds good if u not too far from me.

Maya

[nailpolish]

m4ya, i would say talk and sing to your baby too. and look at books, magazines, anything, doesnt have to be expensive baby books.

and babies LOVE looking at pictures of other babies, or meeting other babies, are there any groups near you?

you sound like a lovely mummy

[Highlander]

stick him in a Baby Bjorn and just go about your daily business, talking to him all the time! Even going for a walk to the shops is a big deal for a baby

[moondog]

m4ya,agree will allthat has been said here,but you just being there and loving and holding him is alsomore than enough.
Enjoy the relative peace at this age-believe me,in a few months it will be non stop knackering action.

My 19 mth old is turbo charged,I swear.

[Miaou]

lots of good advice on here maya, I would add that I often stick my baby in front of the washing machine in his bouncy chair - he loves watching it! I also put him in it in the kitchen and chat to him while I'm washing up, hoovering, dusting etc.

Probably been said already - but at this age you are the most entertaining thing in the world to your baby - he will get a lot of stimulation from just watching you.

And do talk to him about what you are doing (I never found this hard because I used to talk to myself all the time before I had kids )

[Filyjonk]

At this age-nothing. Unless you are locking him in a dark room, he has all the stimnulation he needs. 12 wk olds don't really play, tbh. Stick him in a sling and carry him around. Talk to him a bit. Thats all.

Here is what you must do. Use this time for yourself. Read, watch movies, whatever. If he sleeps, go to an exercise class.

Stick him in a sling and go for long walks, go to galleries, (quiet) films. When my ds was 12 weeks, I did an intensive language course-every morning.

Make the most of this time because in 5 or 6 months, you will have to be doing all the p+t group stuff.

I know exactly where you're coming from, I was the same, I felt I had to be justifying the fact I was at home with him by doing something. Just made me tired, really. Pace yourself!

[Filyjonk]

Sorry-I meant if hes a sleepy baby you could go to a class or two with him-wasn't suggesting you abandon him as soon as he closes his eyes!

[m4ya]

Thank you guys, all the pointers have been so useful.

I went to the Library with ds for the first time and he loved the Rhyme club. Also got him loads of book which me or my partner read to him which he loves.

He now babbles back to anyone who talks to him!

love the baby sling idea for when i got things to do around the house, got to get him one next time Im out...

[suzi2]

I found that my DS loved my hands as toys at that age. I would hold a hand in front of him and encourage him to touch it. He would begin to hit it, grasp it and manouvere it. It seemed endlessly fascinating to him!

I agree with the talking thing. Also, if you can't get swimming or similar, run a deep bath and get in it together. Pull him through the water so he gets the feeling of moving through it. You could also sit in the bath and put him on his back, cradling his head in both hands and look into his eyes (he'd be upside down to you). If he's up for it, it's really realxing for him to float like this.

[bobbybobbobbingalong]

Pop him in a sling and do whatever floats your boat.

As a music teacher I will say singing is possibly even more important than talking. But I'm not talking The Wiggles - just simple rhymes, and made up songs about what you are doing.

Action songs that cross the mid line - so your hand going from one side of his face to another become important from now.

I never took toys for ds - he just sat on my knee and listened to everyone talk. he's now a very articulate little nearly 3 year old who is never bored.

[jessb]

m4yajust asking this question makes me think you must be a fab mummy. i spent so much of my day with my new baby boy trying to DO something to stimulate him i wore myself out. i wonder now if i was depressed but i think it was just a learning curve. Luckily with my dd i had realised that little babies just need talking and cuddling and being with youshe had the advantage of coming along to all my sons toddler stuff with us (but baby groups are the same in terms of interaction) and i enjoyed it heaps heaps more. I wish i'd had the guts to ask "what do i do?" the first time

[BabaMumma]

All fo the below/above, but also...

My Ds loved his baby gym at that age, partic when we attached a cloth book with "crunchy" pages so he could kick it. He loved kicking anything with his feet if it made a noise, even newspaper, and also loved splashing in his bath seat in the bath. He loved watching shadows from the sun or man made on the walls, really loved looking up at trees and leaves from his buggy and simple but strong goemteric patterns. We took him to the British Museum sometimes which has really strong shapes that makeup the glass roof. He just gazed up at it and loved it. Also loved a small aviary at the local park, because he could hear the birds. We also bought cheap posters from Woolies to go in his bedroom and used to point and talk, counting the nine bumble bees, or the eight balls or whatever, not to help him to count, but to have something else to talk to him about. Repetition on that kind of level seemed to be very important and expectation and anticipation become more and more important as the days go on because they start to remember things. Also balanced board books on shelves etc near where I sat to feed him so he had different things to look at when I burped him!

[BabaMumma]

Meant to add, I didn't worry teo much about what was definitely good for him, but felt that if I thought I was helping him or we were enjoying ourselves, or doing something different to what we did yesterday or the day before, then that had to be good for us both regardless. Keeps the relationship fresh!

[anniebear]

I would advise you to go to toddler groups now. It will be good for you to get and and meet other mums (may have to try a few)

Also your DS will then be used to them and will soon alos love going!

[Harlequeen]

Hi M4ya, I tried emailing you but you havent got your preferences set to receiving mail! I live in Luton too, if you fancy meeting up or chatting let me know Love Jaz ([email protected])