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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Remind me about health visitors please

27 replies

dinny · 01/02/2006 19:44

We've recently moved to new area and local HV has been on the phone - she wants us to either go to baby clinic to meet her (which I can't - timing wrong) or come round here (which she is next week).
I had a lovely HV in London, who sadly left her job a year ago and wasn't replaced. So have forgotten what they're like/do.... She mentioned the fact ds has had surgery etc (had been looking at his med records, obviously). Just wanted to know why she's coming really - is it part of their job to come and see what you're like?

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Twiglett · 01/02/2006 19:45

you don't have to see them if you don't want to

waste of space imho

Blandmum · 01/02/2006 19:48

Depend on the HV

I had two that were totaly excellent with dd

Didn't need them with ds

dinny · 01/02/2006 19:49

I'm dreading it, Twiglett - feel am in for an interrogation about why ds hasn't had jabs/why he's had surgery etc etc.

Do you really not have to see them?

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dinny · 01/02/2006 19:50

wonder if she's just being nice/doing her job. though she did say "We can do this two ways - you come here or I come to you", like it was a foregone conclusion I'd want to see her!

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Racers · 01/02/2006 19:55

Can you say something along the lines of it being difficult to schedule an appointment and in any case, you have no specific queries at present and you know where she is if you do have any questions in the future, thanks for getting in touch etc. Easiest to leave a voicemail message in this case.

How does that sound?

dinny · 01/02/2006 20:02

Feel like I can't do that now, Racers, as she is coming next week. But I want to, so maybe I'll just call her in a moment of bravery!

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Highlander · 01/02/2006 20:04

I had exactly this when I returned to the UK. I wish I'd told her to naff off. She did the predictable sleep/weight/vaccinations interrogation,but I'm afraid I went completely on the offensive. Haven't seen her since, thankfully. Igonored her request for a 1 year 'assessment'.

dinny · 01/02/2006 20:07

maybe I should say it's not convenient and I'll come to baby clinic if I need her...

God, really annoyed how steamrolled I feel! And the fact she's been hawking through my boy's medical records! Though suppose they're allowed to.

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Racers · 01/02/2006 20:08

Have a stiff drink first! (if you can/do drink)

I'm one to talk, I only managed to stay away from my HV for 2 months when she had peed me off over weaning, then I said yes to the 6m check. I have closure on that though as she thought babies couldn't make it to 6m without roast dinners or something, so I got my chance to show how well she had done on just milk!

Angeliz · 01/02/2006 20:09

dinny, after dd2 i cahngeged surgeries and didn't see the H.V at all. As she was having pirivate jabs, we didn't even do baby clinics. After a few letters from her i just rang oneday and had a chat. I explained that i didn't have any worries but knew where she was if i needed her and thanks. She was fine with that.
Honest, you are not obliged, just be nice to her and tell her you're coping fine and very busy.
I think most H.V's are a bit of a waste of time but if they catch the odd case of abuse, they serve their purpose well.

dinny · 01/02/2006 20:11

dh just said much the same Angeliz - that she's only doing her job and her job is to make sure the babies/children are OK. just feel like we're under the blooming microscope!

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Racers · 01/02/2006 20:16

Yes, she is doing her job - if things were different and you were having difficulties and didn't know who to turn to, she would be a godsend. I think you should just politely say thanks but we're fine.

Twiglett · 01/02/2006 22:04

yes you can sweetie, what do you think she's going to do take your baby away?

I would go with the 'terribly sorry I've double booked but I'll call you if I have any concerns' approach

hornbag · 01/02/2006 22:11

dinny, when families with young children move areas HVs tend to meet with them to avoid the awful situations you read about in the press, where children are "lost" in the system and don't get seen by professionals until its too late .

Its just a way of making sure no child gets missed or overlooked.

I found out from HV when we moved (DD was coming up to 2) - she told me this is why they make contact as soon as you register with Gp etc

Twiglett · 01/02/2006 22:15

that's what they say .. good line .. very believable

if your child is registered with a GP then it obviously hasn't fallen into the system's abyss has it?

so the only children they will catch are those they probably don't need to worry about

and HV's in my experience, and I'm sure there must be decent ones out there its just I've never met one, nor has anyone I know personally .. are a total waste of time

hornbag · 01/02/2006 22:23

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying HVs are a godsend -far from it !!

Unfortunately you get cases where families move around frequently in a short space of time and, despite being registered on paper at a surgery, don't actually get seen in person. I've had the misfortune to work for Social Services and come across cases like this.

I totally agree though Twiglett that the ones the HVs see are those children of "normal" decent families who are not on the reciving end of any abuse or neglect.

notasheep · 01/02/2006 22:56

This new HV may be fantastic! Mine was-a cool hippy chick who even gave me a free breast pump.

Try and look at it as a positive thing that they have actually bothered to get in touch.

My HV was concerned about dds lump on tummy button,yet the GP had totally overlooked it for 3 years!

Highlander · 02/02/2006 11:07

as my paediatrician friend said, 'qualifications required to be an HV?.......none'.

hunkermunker · 02/02/2006 11:14

Dinny...my new HV is really nice.

Doesn't help you, I realise that

I'd probably see your new HV, then not bother again - but she might be really nice. And if she's not, you'll be able to start a thread about it with lots of and and

Racers · 02/02/2006 15:52

Highlander, they must have some quals?!

Pfer · 02/02/2006 16:21

I agree with Twiglett, I'm sure that there are some good HV's out there, just not met one yet. My last one was a right tw*t. I've made a complaint about her recently for various problems, such as her suggestions that DH beats me, DS1 has eyesight problems, hearing problems and speech problems and her refusal to accept that she was wrong after he'd been seen by the opthalmist, local hosp. ear dept and SALT, because of course she, as a childless woman, knows better than a mother and a group of professionals, and the last straw being her statement that DS1 is a certain type of child that will never fit in with Alpha males. just because he'd never play ball with her as he didn't like her.

I didn't realise you didn't have to see them either, as she just kind of appeared after DS1 did and didn't go away. Just kept turning up like a bad penny. Wasn't till I spoke to other mums that I realised I was one of the few that took DS to HV appointments etc so that's prob. why she was around all the time, no-one else would see her!!

Got a new HV now who came round to introduce herself about a month ago. She seemed nice on the phone and spoilt it by saying "so which is the problem one then?" as soon as she got in the door!! Hmmm. Anyway she appears to have made herself an appointment for the end of the month which I shall not be attending.

Basically, IME and IMHO don't see them unless you've got something you need to talk about. And try MNET first!!

dinny · 02/02/2006 18:33

actually, am a bit pleased she is coming as could do with some support atm as ds having some tests and now it looks like dd may have another UTI. so stressful.

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ggglimpopo · 02/02/2006 18:51

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 02/02/2006 18:55

Liked all of mine! Thought you had to qualify as a nurse first?

ggglimpopo · 02/02/2006 18:59

Message withdrawn

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