Does this behaviour sound familiar to anyone else? My ds is 5 1/2 ...

[Mandy03]

My ds is in his first year of school and is 5 1/2 yrs old. For a long time now he's been the type of kid who will approach anybody (usually other children when he wants to play) but if we're out at a park having a picnic or something, he often goes and joins another family and will stay with them for as long as they allow him to (!). It happens regularly enough that we are often left sitting by ourselves while ds is off socialising with another family.

Yesterday I picked him up after school and we went to have fish & chips with my parents at a park. Ds befriended a little girl there (about 3), he followed her around & showed her how to climb on the play equipment, then he sat her on the swing and pushed her for about 10 minutes. Afterwards they ran over to her parents and he stayed with her family for about the next hour - we didn't know them from a bar of soap. He just sat there chatting away to them until it was time to go. Luckily they were very friendly & didn't seem to mind him being there at all, but a lot of the time I feel a bit awkward (embarrassed actually) about the fact that he just latches on to another family whenever he gets the opportunity. He's very sociable but I'm wondering if this is an uncommon thing for kids to do..? People must wonder why he doesn't want to stay with his own family

[Hattie05]

Not familiar, although my 3 year old is v friendly with strangers in that she will wave hello and goodby to anyone that takes her fancy - always to shopkeepers!

But tbh, i'd have two reasons to be concerned for your son a)his own safety and awareness - perhaps a gentle stranger danger talk wouldn't go amiss. I realise you are always there to keep an eye, but things can happen within a moment of your distraction, and also what will happen as he grows up and say goes on a school outing without your supervision?
b) i'd also be inclined to discourage the "overfriendliness" with other families as some people may not be so keen to have him tag along, i think its find for children to pal up in the playground, but a bit odd to also go and sit with the whole family.

I don't mean this horribly at all - and i'm sure it is very sweet and thats they way most people would see it. But he does need to be a bit street wise also.

[Mandy03]

I know Hattie, I have talked to him several times about the safety issue. And I also know what you mean about some people not being keen to have him tag along, hence my reason for writing the post!

Sometimes I manage to discourage him from joining other people and I do try to explain that they might want to be left alone, etc etc. But some people are also quite nice about it and once they start chatting to him, it encourages him to hang around as he really seems to enjoy their company. I'm fully aware that some people don't necessarily find it 'cute' at all (although my mother doesn't seem to think it's a problem), and obviously some people wouldn't enjoy a stranger's child hanging around. So I do try to discourage it a lot of the time.

[lazycow]

Although I can understand your concerns about safety. It seems to me that your ds is just a very sociable friendly child.

I know that when I was a child I sometimes got a bit bored if it was just us family (mum dad and younger sister). I have just always enjoyed situations with more people and lots of chatter than quieter ones. This didn't mean I didn't like my family just that I liked new people and new conversation.

I particularly loved listening to adult conversation. My favourite times were often when we visited extended family and I would sit at the corner of the room and listen to the adults talk I always hoped they would forget I was there - which they often did - amazing the things you hear in that situation. .

Obviously safety is a priority and he needs to understand that you must always be able to see him, but I'd say that if he does not seem to be bothering the other family (You can always check this by going up to him and saying in a friendly way - 'I'm not sure you should be bothering these nice people' and see what their reaction is)

You may have to put a limit on the time he stays there but I think he sounds like a lovely boy.
His social skills sound fantastic and that will get him a long way in life.

[PrettyCandles]

We've often had this from both directions - ds tagging on to another family, or a stranger child tagging on to us. It's nice and sociable, I think, but it is important for the parents to keep an eye on the situation, whether by wandering over to the other family and checking that it's ok for your child to tag on, or by calling your child over to you from time to time and trying to engage him - together with any child from the 'borrowed' family who might tag along. Or, if your child is playing with the other family's toys, to get him to offer some of his, so that it's not all one-way.

I deal with the stranger-danger aspect by laying clear bounds ("from that tree to that fence" etc) and stressing that if he wants to go off with anyone he must come to me and ask first.