Mumsnet Talk

Hi I have a 1 year old dd who is getting more difficult to manage by the day. She is happy a lot of the time but if she gets hold of something she is not meant to have and I take it off her she screams and screams.

Same for stopping her going where she is not meant to and making her do something she does not want to (putting jacket on, going in pram etc).

Is this her starting with tantrums? She goings from being happy to screaming back arching nightmare in seconds.

Welcome to tantrums. You're lucky. My son had his first one at around 8 months.

On yes they can strike at any time. It is an amazing Jekyll and Hyde situation isn't it

DD is 4.9 and it hasn't happened yet. So there's a chance it might not.

She had mini tantrums at 8 months but they were manageable. I could distract her and she didn't have the stamina to keep it going more than 2 minutes.

DD1 never really had them (she is 4 now).
DD2 started at about 7 months - we are working on that (she is now 9 months)

Yes I guess they are 'mini' tantrums still. Or 'warm ups' <shudder>

My DD started at age 1 and she's now 5 and we are still suffering with them......

Mini, and manageable, ones started at 9 months. They grew in intensity at 1yo and at 14 mo are now pretty spectacular and unfortunately more regular. Last night he sent himself into a coughing fit because he was screaming so much. I try to see the funny side - he arches his back and straightens his legs at the same time and has taken to throwing himself on the floor too, which can actually be quite comical to see (though we don't let him see us laugh). He's turned into a complete drama queen, especially when tired.

matana DD 9mo is the same with arched back, straight legs, mouth open, huge screams, red in face, tears - OMG it's astonishing esp as she can stop it in a nano second and look all angelic in a flash.

Wish I knew what was going through her head when it happens. Probably nothing more than "I want that shiny thing. Give it back aarrggghhh."

WhenSheWasBad, you're pretty much right, what's going through her head is a mixture of confusion, frustration and plain old fashioned anger.

Imagine not knowing anything about the world, not understanding that some things you can touch and some you can't. Everything's just an interesting shiny thing to be poked and prodded. And sometimes when you pick something up the big people around you say nothing. Sometimes they clap and encourage you. Other times they snatch it away and say that 'NO' word again. But why is that? What did I do? I wanted THAT? I can't think beyond touching it, I was so close. Right AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH your world makes no sodding sense so I'm retreating inside me and showing you how silly your world is.

That's why distraction is best at this age. It moves their attention off the thing they're not allowed and then you hide it out of the way. Reinforce what's not to be played with in times of calm and keep most things out of the way until they're old enough to know which things are lickable and which things make Mummy's ears steam when they try and prod them.

I would say the earlier the better in the hope the phase will be over before they get big and strong. Dealing with a large, tantruming 3 1/2 year old boy is really hard work (thankfully it has only happened twice to me)!

In my case about 8 months, peaked at 18 months, became less regular at 2.5 and he's now 3 and has an almighty one at least once a fortnight. Used to be every day.

My baby boy already having tantrums at 8 months, goes all stiff, throws his body, screams, cries, and has even pulled my hair and pinched me in anger. He can go from this to being happy and giggly almost instantly.