Can your 3 yr old .................

[NutcrackingXmas]

Go to the toilet by self, wash hands and flush toilet ?

Put on, take off and hang up own outdoor clothes ?

Take off and put on own shoes and socks ?

Eat with a knife and fork ??

Just wondering, because Ds starts nursery on 5th Jan and they want him to be able to do all those or be well on the way to doing them.

He can get himself on and off toilet but cannot wipe his bum. He can also wash his hands but needs reminding.
He can take his coat off but cannot hang it up, and can certainly not put on his own socks and shoes, infact he can't take his socks off either.
He can eat with a fork and spoon but not kmife.

[katzglitterytree]

My DD who was 3 in Oct can:

go to the toilet (but need help after no2's)wash hands and flush

puts her own coat on and can hang it up

She can do shoes but not socks but only when she wants too!

She can just about manage a knife is not realy very safe with it!

[Glitterygook]

Ds2 was 3 in November

Can go to loo by himself, wash hands and flush toilet
Take off coat, shoes, socks and put on coat but doesn't put his own shoes or socks on
Doesn't use a knife - just a fork and spoon

[Hulababy]

DD is 3y8m. Goes to a day nursery where she gets help if needed, altough independence is gradually encouraged.


Go to the toilet by self, wash hands and flush toilet ?

Toilet yes and can generally clean herself afterwards. She is not always clean fully though so tend to help her at end to be sure. Washes her own hands. Depending on flush type she will flush - needs remonding. She can't do out home flushes though.


Put on, take off and hang up own outdoor clothes ?

Depends on what she is wearing. Can't do buttons and zips. Will hang up in a fashion.


Take off and put on own shoes and socks ?

Can do socks, if not too tight, Struggles with tights. Can do shoes - needs remonder of which foot is which sometimes - but only velcro ones. Can't do buckles and laces. Can do doodle type fastenings but loosely.


Eat with a knife and fork ??

Uses a fork and spoon. Attempts to use knife, but can only cut soft food - more tearing apart than proper cutting IYSWIM.


Seems a lot to expect a 3yo to have to be able to do with no help.

[COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP]

I'd be surprised if they were able to insist on him doing those things. It would almost certainly be classed as discrimination against those with SN - especially those who have no diagnosis at 3.

It sounds as though they're expecting a lot of a 3yr-old.

[NutcrackingXmas]

Ds was only 3 last week and to be honest I never think to let him do much for hijmself, I just automatically do it.

Have started asking him to get one and off toilet on his own, which has been fine. He still sits on loo for a wee, and will wipe his winky, but if he has a number 2 he won't get off until he is seen to LOL.

I know he can take shoes off because he does this regularly whilst out shopping , but for some reason he cannot remove socks. Certainly cannot put socks on, or shoes although tbh I've never let him try.

I baby him a bit being my baby, so think i'll have to step back a bit.

[bobbybobbobbingalong]

Ds will be 3 in a couple of months and barring miracles will not be able to do any of these things by the time he is 3.

[thecattleareALOHing]

No, ds couldn't do these things. Only just learning to wipe his bottom at 4. Can't use a knife, cannot properly put on shoes and socks yet but tries (he is a bit unusual though because of dyspraxia).

[polly28]

my ds was.... 3 in sept

He has only just started to go to the loo on his own.Washes his hands if he manages to turn the tap on by himself.Needs bottom wiped,but makes an attempt.

Can take shoes and coat off but can't put on by himself yet.He won't eveb attempt to put his socks on,although they are quite tight fitting.Has to be cajoled to dress himself,not brilliant at it.

He can eat with a knife and fork but prefers his hands

[throckenholt]

3 kids - 4.5 and nearly 3 year old twins (in that order) - all boys

Go to the toilet by self, wash hands and flush toilet ?

yes (but not wipe bum), yes, yes
sometimes, yes, yes
sometimes, yes, yes

Put on, take off and hang up own outdoor clothes ?
yes, yes, not reliably !
sometimes, yes, no
sometimes, yes, no

Take off and put on own shoes and socks ?
yes to all
sometimes to all
sometimes to all

Eat with a knife and fork ??
yes - although doesn't use knife much
sort of - fork not knife
sort of - fork not knife


does that help ?

[nailpolish]

my dd1 can go to the toilet on her own, but doesnt really wipe poos properly.

lol at hulas "hangs up in a fashion" dd1 has ways of hanging up her coat too. she cant do zips though, or tie laces of shoes. can put on socks and trainers with velcro

i dont really like her using a knife so i still cut up her food

[bsg]

My dd aged 3.5 is capable of doing all the above however she prefers to yell
"Mummy I've done a poo poo"
Take coat off and leave on floor then step on it on her way to play!
Cut her food into tiny pieces without actually eating any!
Disregard any clothes that are layed out for her and go and choose her own mismatched outfit!
Put on any shoes she feels like whether they match or if it is the right season to be wearing them.
Once she is in school and everybody else is doing it she will do it too.

[Enideepmidwinter]

dd2 (3 in Oct)
can go to the loo, wash hands and flush if its not too stiff

take off and hang up coat and shoes

can't eat with a knife but uses a combination of spoon, fork and hands

Her nursery are fine with all that and they are quite a 'strict' pre-prep nursery where she stays for a cooked lunch every day.

[HaveaMerryChristmas]

Can do the toilet stuff, put the quality of the wiping isn't good (think skid marks). Also needs reminding to wash hands.

Does the clothes and shoe bits, but is rather cack handed with her knife and fork

[Epiffany]

No
No
No
Shoes yes, socks no.
My dd is slightly special needs, but her pre school nursery insists on nothing and will even change nappies for no extra chanrge!

[puddle]

Dd was three end September.
She can go by herself quite happily - needs a check after poo for wiping.

Can take off and hang up coat.

Can do socks and get shoes on but needs help with laces (WHT did I buy boots with laces?!)

Eats with spoon and fork and fingers when tired - even my ds at 5 is not very good with a knife (we hardly use knives at home so I blame myself for that one...)

She is ahead of my ds at the same age though.

[NomDePlumPudding]

DD was 3 in August, so she's 3y4m. She can

Go to the toilet, wash hands and flush. Wiping needs a bit of assistance because she uses half a roll of loo paper and still doesn't manage to clean herself properly . WRT to hand washing, my DD did forget occasionally, but I bought that Kandoo soap with the frog head on it ("frog soap") and she never forgets now.

She can out her coat etc on and remove it but she can't hang it up (coats etc live in a cupboard in the hall on coat hangers, so too high up for her). She can hang her coat on the pegs at nursery though

She can take her shoes and socks off, and put her shoes on (they are boots with zips up the side so much easier than laces etc). She can't quite manage putting socks on though, she gets them halfway on and that's it, they end up twisted, wonky and uncomfortable.

She can eat with a knife and fork, but I have to cut the food up for her.

[Meanoldmummy]

this is really worrying me now - ds1 was three on 29th September and is starting nursery school (mornings) in January and they haven't said anything to me about what he should be able to do. He's pretty bright, is starting to read/add up, and knows numbers, colours, shapes etc....so I assumed he would be OK. He can't go to the loo by himself at all, he needs me there. He can get himself on and off with his step, wipe after wee and flush and wash hands, but he still prefers to poo in his pants and has regular wee accidents too! He still has real trouble pulling pants and trousers up and down. I didn't realise all the other kids would be able to do it all, will the nursery refuse to take him?

He can eat with a knife and fork, take his coat off and his socks and shoes and put his shoes on. I've never asked him to hang up his coat or put socks on.

[Meanoldmummy]

this is really worrying me now - ds1 was three on 29th September and is starting nursery school (mornings) in January and they haven't said anything to me about what he should be able to do. He's pretty bright, is starting to read/add up, and knows numbers, colours, shapes etc....so I assumed he would be OK. He can't go to the loo by himself at all, he needs me there. He can get himself on and off with his step, wipe after wee and flush and wash hands, but he still prefers to poo in his pants and has regular wee accidents too! He still has real trouble pulling pants and trousers up and down. I didn't realise all the other kids would be able to do it all, will the nursery refuse to take him?

He can eat with a knife and fork, take his coat off and his socks and shoes and put his shoes on. I've never asked him to hang up his coat or put socks on.

[deckthehillswithboughsofmummy]

DD is 3.10 she can now go to the toilet on her own and wash her hands, do the outdoor clothes and footwear thing. She eats with a fork but I don't trust her with a knife. She couldn't do these things when she started nursery (although she would try her hardest) but between the nursery staff and ourselves she has made excellent progress.

[Kelly1978]

ds is 3.5 could go to the toilet, but often wouldn't wipe properly and prob forget to wash hands or if he did, he would get soaked.

usually takes at least 5 mins to put a coat on, gets one arm in and chases it round, or puts it on inside out, back to front, or even upside down. Can't do up or undo zips or buttons.

can manage shoes, but needs to be told, otherwise will jsut sit and look at them. Can't tell left from right.

Def can't manage knife or fork at all.

he is undergoing assesment though. dd did do all that at three, but it was a case of encouraging her and not jsut doing it for her automatically.

[Meanoldmummy]

It's a pity we have to get so hung up on all this development stuff. Maybe it's me, but ever since my boys were born I've felt like I was chasing my tail worrying about whether they could do everything they were meant to do... I know they are both normal happy kids who are an absolute delight - no real problems - but for some strange reason I still lose sleep over at exactly what age they manage to peel a banana or take their own shoes off. I know it's important to keep track of development and be vigilant, catch trouble early etc; but I can't help thinking the whole set-up is like a rat-race, made worse by health visitors and other professional, and it causes lots of unnecesary worry and can stop us enjoying our children!! It's annoying me to think that DS1's nursery school place could be jeopardised because he's too lackadaisical to wipe his bum properly or turn the tap off after him. He's bored to death at home, he really needs to go!!

[Meanoldmummy]

Unnecessary!!! Oh dear, if I can't even type what hope do my poor children have!!

[PeachyPlumFairy]

Not convinced my almost 5 year old can reliably do all those!

Shoes and socks yes, put on and take off coat yes- but hang up? Probably not

Knife and fork- unreliably- prefers fingers unfortunately.

As for the loo, can go, usually remembers to wash, rarely remembers to flush