My son is 5 1/2 and looks and acts more like a 4 1/2 year old in many respects. He is small for his age physically and his speech was late to develop. He was significantly behind in reading during reception although with a lot of extra support from the school and from me and his dad he has now caught up to average. He is very behind on his writing, can just about form his name and very short sentences, and getting him to write is really tough, he really does not enjoy it.
I am willing to continue to put in the extra effort to help him but it is in other areas that I am really beginning to notice the differences between him and other five year olds. He is such a sweet boy but he is also socially and emotionally so much less complex than other children his age. He doesn't seem to have any awareness of what others think of him, he will skip to school and shout out 'look mummy a doggie' much like a very small preschooler might, for example, and it's lovely, but the other kids in his year are sniggering at him. He has just begun to notice this, but it breaks my heart because as time has gone on it has become more and more apparant that the other children in his year have developed close friendships but he hasn't and it's because he is just not as socially complex as the other children.
He's just about to start year 1 and I am beginning to get so worried. I was at a friends house today and he had just met another five year old girl. She was lightyears ahead of him in speech and the way she interacted, after about 5 minutes of knowing her he said 'are you my best friend now?' and he was so lovely and smiley about it, but she just looked at him like he was a little kid.
At the end of term last year I had a discussion with his teacher and she said he was very immature for his age, but that we had to continue to keep pushing him to catch up with everything as she said the gap was only going to get wider between him and his peers. I know him to be a charming, sweet natured and innocent boy with a really kind heart, and he is developing and learning well, no behavioural problems. However it seems like he is just basically younger than the other five year olds in his class. I am getting more and more worried he is going to be labelled as 'dumb' by his peers (one or two comments already regarding his reading etc) and basically have that lovely spirit knocked out of him because he is a little different / not maturing as quickly as the other children.
To be frank I think he could do with about another 6 months with four year olds in reception and then he would be where the others are now but that I am told would do more harm than good. He is not delayed enough for it to be deemed really serious, but equally he is always just a little bit behind everyone else. I am worried how this is going to effect his confidence long term. He has said to me he can't do things like the other children in his class.
Phew, this is very long so apologies. I have been trying not to worry and just let him develop at his own pace as I think it is very unfair to lump a load of children in together and expect them all to reach certain targets by a certain time especially at this young age, but I am worrying this is going to become more and more of an issue as he slowly realises that he is not able to do the things the other children are doing and is becoming more and more excluded socially as he is not interacting on the other childrens 'level'.
Has anyone else had any experience of this? And sorry for the long vent!!!
Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated.
Thank you.
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Behaviour/development
Immature 5 year old, am beginning to get very worried
33 replies
Lifeinlalaland · 24/08/2011 18:43
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