Crying 1yr old driving me mad

[lazyeye]

I have an incredibly petty 1 year old boy. He is my second son, but I can not get anything done - and I mean anything - not even my clothes on - because as soon as I put him down he really cries. Not just a wimper - a real cry. I have to pick him up and carry him around with whatever I do. It is starting to drive me mad. I can't say I was particulary bad at picking him up or spoiling him as a young baby...

I have just gone back to work, but to be honest he has always been like this, though he has gotten worse lately. It really is starting to drive me stir crazy -even when there is plenty going on he just sits and cries and cries. Any advice please???

[FairyMum]

My ds was a little bit like that. Extremely clingy from the moment he was born. He is much better now, but it was driving me nuts. I couldn't get anythig done either. He constantly had to sit on my arm and I still carry him around a lot (he is 2!). I have got massive upper arms from it. Look like female wrestler,)

[aloha]

Is he in pain? Hungry? Bored? Maybe he's just very loving and finds it hard to be away from the person he loves more than anyone in the world. Obviousy if you have to get dressed you have to get dressed, so you have to put him down where he can see you and talk to you. If he cries then, well, he cries. It won't kill him.
BTW I don't think it is bad to pick up or cuddle a small baby and I don't believe you can 'spoil' a young baby in any way at all.
He will eventually grow out of it and become more independent and I think the best way for this to happen is to give him lots of physcial contact and affection so he feels totally secure with you and then able to strike out into the world. When he learns to walk he won't want to be carried so much, I think.
I know the crying when you put them down can be incredibly frustrating, but my little boy always wanted to be carried and now he's two is he so loving and affectionate and I don't find him clingy at all. So there is a good side to the baby cing-on, IMO!

[lazyeye]

He probably is a bit bored because he doesn't seem to be able to get interested in anything because he wants to sit on my knee all the time.

I do feel guilty because, as I say, I've just gone back to work & therefore he has started nursery - 3 mornings a week and in the 3 pms is looked after by my mum, so he is probably reacting to all this. However, it really is a case of not being able to make a meal or get dressed without major tears and upset. All natural I suppose, but on top of the tantrunming 2 yr old, I feel like turning to drink - and often do...........

[Enid]

lazyeye, I'd say its pretty obvious that its the returning to work that has done this. If he has a clingy nature, that will compound it. My own almost one year old dd2 is also a bit like this at the mo - I think its the age, she is not a clingy child by nature but she will now cry if I go out of the room. If its any consolation my nearly 4 year old is exactly the same - so I've got two of them to deal with. A couple of weeks ago I really thought I was losing my marbles!

anyway, the only advice I can give is to spoil your sons as much as possible so that they start to feel secure again. As far as your sanity goes, make sure that you get a little break from them every now and again.

Just to echo aloha, I firmly believe that you cannot spoil a baby and in fact the more you carry them around and pick them up when they are small the more secure they should be as they get older.

To echo aloha again, obviously you have to get dressed so just ignore the cries. I sit dd2 in the kitchen with me while I cook and let her play with stuff/eat breadsticks/pull all the spices out of the rack. When things get desperate The Bear in The Big Blue House seems to make an excellent childminder. Good luck!

[Melly]

Lazyeye, just wanted to say that I sympathise, apart from anything else, it's physically exhausting carrying children around isn't it. I would be inclined to leave him to cry a bit to be honest. I don't mean for long periods but as Aloha says you have to get dressed and he has to learn to wait. Hopefully once you have been back at work for a few weeks he should settle a bit. I suppose at 12 months it is quite hard for him to come to terms with you suddenly not being there all the time. When you're getting dressed maybe you could give him a treasure basket type thing, sometimes ordinary household items that are safe are far more interesting to babies.
Anyway, it must be very hard for you especially if you have a 2 year old to look after as well.
Hope things improve for you soon.

[codswallop]

hungry/tired?

[aloha]

I found it was rather nice when ds was particularly mummy-mummy just to sit with ds on my lap, Tellytubbies video on, and a nice magazine next to me on the sofa. He got a cuddle, I got to sit down and flick through a mag. It really was very pleasant. S*d the housework!

[aloha]

Just realise you have a one year old and two year old - blimey! Maybe you should get on the sofa with both of them watching a video and lie down for as long as you can get away with it.

[mottie]

Saw an exceelent baby whisperer prog on this very issue she advised to leave baby in chair or baby walker near you and to go and console the baby every now and then but not to pick the baby up. She gave the baby things to play with and after a few days it did get alot better. There is a baby whisperer website. (sorry forgot adress)