What's happened to my 1yo

[Jasmum]

My DD who was 1 on friday has turned from a beautiful lovely fun baby to one who appears to be having tantrums, mainly when I go anywhere near her. She kicks, screams, struggles & I can't help but feel really upset. She is all over dp who at first was milking it for all it was worth, shich hasn't helped. He's like , oh, give her to me, come on little girl & she goes of smiling. I know I shouldn't be but I'm really upset & feel like I have to make extra effort to bring her back to me. It seemed to happen on the stoke of her first birthday, which we had a party for & obviosuly I went to loads of effort etc etc but whenever I went near her at the party she just screamed & kicked unless Dp was totally out of sight. Dp goes back to work tomorrow after a 3 day weekend & he doesn't see her a huge amount in the week because of a busy new job & until Friday he hadn't seen her since last tuesday.
I think she's getting a tooth but why would this make her behave like this towards me?
She's my first baby & up until friday she's had her moments when prefering one of us but never like this & I don't know how to handle it.

[Melly]

Hi Jasmum. Sympathies, but try not to let it get to you too much. Our dd goes through phases of seemingly preferring me our dh but it is usually short lived. I remember dd also went through quite a difficult stage from about 12/13 months through to about 15 months. She cut several teeth during this time and was also making the transition from crawling to walking. She took her first steps at 14 months and was walking confidently at about 15 months. So looking back I put this phase down to a combination of teething pain plus frustration of learning to walk.
If your dp is still milking the situation, perhaps you could take advantage and when he and dd are having their cuddles or whatever, take yourself off and have some "me time" a nice soak in the bath or something. Your dd is probably learning that she can play you off against each other, but I wouldn't get too upset really. Provided dp doesn't let her get away with anything that you have said no to, I would just ignore this behaviour and I'm sure very soon she will be mummy's girl again!
HTH

[Jasmum]

Thanks Melly, needed those words....
DP got back earlier with DD & a huge bunch of flowers which was nice and I've just sent him out so it can just be me & DD, where she was fine & all over me. She too is going through the transistion from crawling to walking, cutting teeth so I'll try & do my best to ignore it!

[dot1]

full sympathy from me! Our ds has been through phases like this - they feel never ending at the time, but generally have been for a few weeks/couple of months and then all of a sudden he's lovely again! I remember he went through a real kicking out time - not wanting to be strapped into his trolley/car seat - nightmare... and a while ago he went through a phase of not wanting me anywhere near him, just my dp, which was very upsetting. But he's 21 months now and being all wonderful and lovely, so hang in there and good luck..!

[bobsmum]

Jasmum - sounds v familiar. Ds was one 2 weeks ago and for the first time ver started to scream the house down at bedtime and for 3 days woke up screeching like a banshee for cuddles every hour from 7pm-11pm. Then he stopped again. Bizarre - it's not a coincidence that he's starting to use more words and babysigns and is desperate to spend time with us. I did read somewhere that tantrums can start at 1 - oh joy!!!

Your dd sounds really bright - she's just trying to see what will get a reaction from you both - cheeky monkeys the lot of them! But then they'll give you a huge grin and all will be forgiven.

[Jasmum]

Feel the need to post again about this. DD is still the same....how can she change so much? I feel really down about this today & DP hasn't got much sympathy or understanding about it.
She's also whingeing most of the time, wants to be picked up constantly, doesn't want to get dressed, put shoes on, change nappy, be in the car, be at home etc etc. She only wants DP unless he's not around & then I'll do. I know or hope it's a phase but it's been 3 weeks now & today was a particulaly bad day. Anyone got any words of encouragement for me please?

[Mo2]

No wise words I'm afraid, other than to tell you I came on here tonight to post something similar about DS2 who is 14 months (cutting teeth, just about walking etc etc) and has suddenly turned into a MONSTER this weekend, from the jolly happy little boy I used to have. He's been having a MAJOR strop if anything hasn't been to his liking - food, nappy, toys not available - I can't quite believe it!

Dare I say it, "it's just a phase...." Hang on in there...

[gingernut]

Sorry, no words of encouragement, just to say `me too'. ds is a real Daddy's boy and usually doesn't want to know me when we're both around. It became much more obvious around the time he was 1 (he's now 22 months). He does go through phases where he's a bit better with me although I'm never the favourite. He's fine when we're on our own together. I do get upset but try to remember it's partly because ds sees so little of his dh during the week.

Re the whinging, sounds to me very much like teething - can you see any coming through? ds's first lot of molars came through soon after he was 1. They took several weeks to emerge completely and he seemed in a lot of pain with them.

I'm afraid to say the tantrums also started for us at 1 (and from observing friends' children it's quite common) and are still going on. We have ups and downs, mainly depending on whether or not he's teething, feeling tired or ill etc. I would advise you to start trying tactics to avert or avoid tantrums and if they don't work, ignore them as much as is possible (e.g. lie her down on the floor and walk away from her while making sure she doesn't hurt herself of course). Re getting dressed and nappy changes, toddlers get annoyed about this sort of thing because they'd much rather be doing something else (playing) so try and make it into a game. For getting into the car seat I use distraction (handing him a toy, some apple or a rice cake etc) and if that doesn't work I just use force if necessary (bad Mummy ). He soon calms down again! All these tactics work fairly well with our ds and since I have learned them I have been much less stressed. There have been plenty of other threads about tantrums so I expect you'll see lots of good advice if you do a search.

HTH.

[maomao]

Just curious how you all have gotten on since the last post in October. My dd (9 mos, but looks and acts much like a 1 y.o.) has just started screeching on the top of her lungs (it seems like perhaps it's a happy thing???), as well as occasionally throwing herself to the ground and banging her head. I think it's developmental, as she has been cutting several teeth, started signing, and has been cruising about holding on to the furniture.

Please tell me that it's gotten better for all of you! Do you just ride it through? Or is there a positive way to get them to stop the screeching? It's really quite ear-splitting....