Are all 5 year old girls this difficult?(10 Posts)
I'm currently on the computer because I can't bear to eat with the rest of the family. DD has annoyed me so much to day.
From the moment she wakes up she is contrary. She winged all around town because she is hungry/thirsty (She wasn't, she doesn't like water apparently.
When I asked if she thought her behaviour in Tescos was acceptable she replied "yes, that's why I behaved like that"
When I tell her she can't have something she's asked for immediately there will be a whining session. For example she asked to go to McDonals. I said yes, sometime in the next week. She wanted to go NOW..it was 9.30 am. So much whining perused we are now not going at all.
DS1 has several times begged her to "shut up" today.
I don't remember my boys being this bad....
My DD1, who is 5, is an angel, but DS, who is 4, can be difficult.
I ignore whinging, naughty step if there's any actively bad behaviour, and remove toys if they can't play nicely with them.
I wouldn't like it if one of my children kept telling the other to shut up, though. I also wouldn't be putting it down to gender. Some children are more difficult than others.
DD aged 5.8yrs has been going through a phase like this, more over her dinners tho, throws a right toddler tantrum and refuses to eat whats put in front of her. Generally its something she likes but as I said going through a phase. we don't put up with it, she goes out into our conservatory to deal with her frustration and then is able to come into us once calmed down and talk if she continues to scream or whine then goes back out into the conservatory.
I talk a lot with dd (5 in April) about moods. She knows that being tired, or hungry, or thirsty or ill can mean she can get irritable (or in a funny mood as we call it). Or she can just have a bad day. It is annoying but tbh, I have bad days too. We all do, and the best thing is to try and go with it. So I try to remember to give her a cuddle and some sympathy and say 'ohh, are you in a funny mood today? i wonder why? what shall we do about it?'. This is what I'd like someone to do for me if I am in a bad mood! Though mostly I have to try and acknowledge it myself...
Easier said than done though, and we do the same as Darciesmum if she starts getting violent. I don't tolerate rudeness or nastiness or violence. But she is allowed to be cross and a bit stroppy. They are only little really too.
Walking away is not to be underestimated too , I think.
My nearly 5yo DD is much the same, very hard work and we have started to do the same as adair.
I'm there too. DD2 (5.5) can be sweetness and light one moment and the teenager from hell the next. I am reading all these threads and literally noting down with pencil and paper all the ideas other people throw out.
At the top is, in big capitals, DO NOT REACT (meaning: don't rise to it), as I'm overtired and overstressed due to work and tend to get sucked into stupid, senseless arguments which are never about what they're about. I often end up shouting and I just hate it, so am working really hard atm to keep cool. Adair you sound like a saint, or at least one in the making...
In our house the flashpoint is mornings and getting up, dressed and out of the house. I've also noticed that things have got more difficult since DD1 has gone to school (7yo start here, and straight in with homework every night etc., and as she can't read fluently yet I have to help her with it still) and it's because I've got less time for her whereas she sees DD1 getting 1-1 time... I am now expert at dashing between them at homework time - it's like spinning plates!
But she is just gorgeous and so talented (biased mum emoticon, prob. not really ) in her own right, and funny, and snuggly and wonderful and sweet and loving that when it blows over I hardly remember it from one time to the next.
Ha! Not quite. Dud you notice how I wrote try? And it's because I realised that I have a tendency to throw massive wobblies and childish strops so I had to think a bit and not have higher expectations of my 4 year old than me...
Yup, getting out of house our stress point too. And about 4pm (mostly when I am tired tbh).
We had a hellish week at beginning of term, but then had a pretty good rest of term. Saying 'i am NOT CROSS WITH YOU, go and calm down' worked a bit. And lots of praise when she takes the opportunity to calm down. This last week has been a bit hairy but seems to have only lasted a couple of days.
Am dreading ds at this age tbh - dd never really had terrible twos, this is the first of super strops whereas ds has had a couple...
My dd3 was horrible at 4. She spoke to me as if I were a poorly performing slave. I tended to ignore anything that was not polite, reallyblank her, as this helped me avoid throwing her out a window.
At five she is miles nicer. There maybe hope.
I think that she is exploring boundaries ... Also, would it help if she has more time running around outside (playground, walks, cycling etc.) or going to a soft play area to burn off excess energy? I would also try a reward chart, explaining why, and being very strict: bad behaviour, no rewards. I would also try to get her involved in general household tasks so she may feel more responsible, e.g. emptying dishwasher, laying the table, putting toilet rolls in toilet, helping tidying up, tidying her own room. You could agree specific tasks upfront and if she completes them she gets a star and if she gets (5) stars a special treat (like a story, going to soft play area, small present, etc.) ~Bad behaviour results in perks being removed (TV, etc).
dikkertjedap, I think you are right about exploring the boundaries. Also I think she was tired...she was much better yesterday.
Yes, I should include her more in household tasks, she would really like to help around the house, but it so often makes twice the work for me, so I discourage it. I need to look at the bigger picture, though.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.