Anyone's child been happy at nursery then suddenly decided they don't want to go?

[marthamoo]

Ds2 (4 in December) has been happy at nursery/pre-school since he started. Last term he was doing 2 x 2.5 hour sessions a week. On the days he didn't go he would ask "is it nursery today?" and be disappointed when it wasn't. He's now doing 5 mornings (5 x 2.5 sessions) a week and has been fine for the last two weeks. Over the weekend though he's said a few times he didn't want to go and this morning I had tears, wailing...the works. I consoled him with the promise of a gingerbread man when he gets back and that we will build a huge Brio track all over the living room.

Any ideas on why he suddenly doesn't seem keen to go? Do you think it's just that it's sunk in that he's going every day? He told me, initially, that he doesn't want to go because he misses me and he likes being at home but that then morphed into a general tantrum and screaming fit "I not want to go 'cos I not like it!" (he also says they make him do lots of work - which I think is something he has picked up from ds1 moaning about school ). I'm not aware of anything happening which would have made him reluctant to go.

[marthamoo]

I have to go and purchase said gingerbread man now but will check back later!

[zippitippitoes]

Tiredness would be my number one reason, but could also be that he has been told off or had a tussle with someone

or he enjoyed it when it was anovelty but now knows it's for life, he's bored?

[frogs]

Yes, happened with both my older two. Never quite worked out what it was, but it coincided with phases where they were the older ones in their group and the novelty had worn off. The reasons they actually gave me were always a bit vague, and changed according to what they thought would be the most effective at getting me to let them stay home. Which is as good a way as any of doing a differential diagnosis between a try-on and a genuine problem.

It did pass, eventually.

[marthamoo]

Well he's back and has regaled me with tales of singing "there was a princess long ago..." and playing with the pink Fairy Castle. We had a mega tantrum because he was given a packet of chocolate stars and a piece of birthday cake and his cruel, mean, heartless mother refused to let him eat them until he'd eaten his sandwich. That makes me think that tiredness is playing a part, zippi - but I do think 5 mornings is good practice for when he starts school next September because he will be exhausted then.

It's reassuring that yours did this too, frogs - my eldest ds didn't. He was unhappy at first (lots of tears when I left - which ds2 hasn't done at all) but once he was settled he stayed settled, iyswim.

It's a phase isn't it (words to strike a chill in any parent's heart)?

[vickitiredmum]

They seem to go in and out of phases of this in my experience.

[MascaraOHara]

My dd a while ago had this.. when I talked about it I foudn out that a little boy in her room had been pushing her about a bit (she's a softy!) nothing too awful (they were only 2.5) but I mentioned it to the staff who confirmed he can be a litttle rough and they made an effort to nip things in the bud a bit. Within a week she was back to her old self and it was all forgotten about. Said little boy was top of the list for 3rd birthday party too.

Have you talked to the staff there?

[marthamoo]

Not yet, Mascara - but I will if he carries on objecting.

[MascaraOHara]

Might just be worth asking if there's been any change that might have upset him (change in staff for instance)

[dollybird]

My ds goes through stages of getting reeaally upset when I leave him at nursery - he's been going two days a week since he was five months old (now 3yrs 4m). First time it resolved when he had breakfast at home. Second time when we let him wake himself up (we were waking him up early so he had time to have breakfast at home!). No problems since then & he's always fine once he's calmed down. Are you having to wake him up in the morning to get there in time?