Wrong name

(52 Posts)
Butterfly82 Mon 13-Jan-14 21:45:48

I need some advise I wrongly was influenced on my babys name when she was born and called he Molly but 3 months on and I absolutely hate it it's the worse decision I have made I wanted Ella or Bella right from the start but my niece is called Ellie so felt Ella was to similar and our last name begins with a B should I change it or will I come to love the name Molly I can't even say the name so all I call her is princess or little lady.

Winterwobbles Mon 13-Jan-14 21:53:25

I think if you have come to dislike the name Molly you should change it. I would probably avoid Ella as your neice is Ellie and they sound a bit too similar to me but I think Bella would be ok even with a surname starting with B. Or have you thought about using Isabella, Annabelle, Arabella or another name that you could use Bella as a nickname for but would give you different initials?

Theonlyoneiknow Mon 13-Jan-14 22:48:47

Maybe try calling her something else for a while and see if you really dislike Molly before you go ahead and officially change it. You have up until 12 months

DessieLou Mon 13-Jan-14 22:49:48

I agree, change it to Bella. I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

Littlepinkseal Mon 13-Jan-14 22:57:33

We changed DD's name at 8 weeks so I know how you feel. I also couldn't bear to say her name and felt embarrassed every time I had to tell people her name even though it was a perfectly normal name. I don't think DD's original name would ever have grown on me and 6 years later I'm still glad we changed it. If you do decide to change it, the original name still stays on the birth certificate but there's a section towards the end which says something like "name changed within first year" and the new name goes there. Was a bit worried about getting passport in the right name seeing as the old one still shows on certificate but it was fine. I did get two letters about starting school too, one with original name, one with her new name but that was easily sorted out too. I don't understand why it matters if your first and last name start with the same letter, if you like Bella, go for it!

We do not need any more Ellie's grin DD2 knows three and never clarifies which one she's waffling on about.

Butterfly82 Mon 13-Jan-14 23:00:09

I do like Isabella but it's a bit of a mouthful with our surname don't want her to be a target for bully's when she is older. I don't want to leave it to long as I have two older children that would get confused

Theonlyoneiknow Mon 13-Jan-14 23:04:45

Gabriella? Am sure just Bella would be fine too.

CarlaVeloso Tue 14-Jan-14 13:48:39

Do you have the support of your DH/DP to change it? You'd have to be very sure of how you feel to do it without his backup.

One thing I would say is don't give any thought to what other people will think. It'll be briefly noteworthy for about a day then everyone will just accept it and move on.

Take your time. Practice calling her by a different name when is just you and her and see how you feel.

Mim78 Tue 14-Jan-14 13:50:06

I think you should change it. Would something like Isabella be good so you can call her Bella for short?

Bella is also good nickname in the meantime as it just means beautiful, which I'm sure she is.

SavoyCabbage Tue 14-Jan-14 13:55:35

I think you should change it too. I was pushed into dd2s name and she is seven and I'm still not used to it.

LittleBearPad Tue 14-Jan-14 13:56:38

Is Molly the full name or is it short for something you can pick another nickname from?

SoftSheen Tue 14-Jan-14 14:02:15

If your surname begins with 'B' and your niece is called Ellie, I agree that it might be better to use Bella or Ella as a nickname and have a longer full name. How about:

Anabel/ Anabella
Isabel
Ishbel
Cristabel
Arabella

Eleanor
Eleanora
Helena

everlong Tue 14-Jan-14 14:08:40

Bella with a surname B is fine!

Change is today.

Bugabooed Tue 14-Jan-14 14:12:51

We changed one of our dc's name completely at 4 months, and although it felt like a very big deal at the time to me, it was actually a very straight forward process and nobody batted an eyelid. I definitely think that you should do it if you have started to hate your dd's current name. Fwiw, I think that Isabella is a great choice as it gives you the flexibility of a variety of shortenings and I certainly don't think it's a name she's likely to be bullied about.

curlew Tue 14-Jan-14 14:12:52

Who pushed you? Your Dp? If so, does he still love the name Molly? How does he feel about changing?

Inertia Tue 14-Jan-14 14:22:52

If you are going to change it, change it to a name you love.

Doesn't really matter what your niece is called tbh, it's not the same name.

Not sure why you think the name Isabella would make her a target for bullies, it's a beautiful name and you could choose either Bella or Ella as a nickname.

Mim78 Tue 14-Jan-14 14:56:17

I've just seen suggestion of name Gabriella and wanted to say I called my dd Gabriella having been keen on Ella during pregnancy. No real reason just change of heart and I really love it. She calls herself "Gabriella-bella" quite alot!

If you do go for Isabella she won't get bullied - it's quite a popular name so it's unlikely she would be the only one with it!

Butterfly82 Tue 14-Jan-14 15:39:33

My Dh is happy to change it he just wants me to be happy with whatever I choose he has been very supportive. It's not the name Isabella that is a target for bully's but does sound a bit funny with our surname but I am overthinking it really. I really wanted the name Ella but like I said is very similar to Ellie. Pressure was from other family members who really liked Molly and would turn there noses up to other suggestions and after a week said she should have a name should have listened to myself

Mim78 Tue 14-Jan-14 15:47:34

I don't think Bella by itself is that close to Ellie. Ella is obviously quite similar, but not a problem if you love it. Have had trouble persuading dh that we can't give expected ds exactly the same name (and it would be same surname) as his cousin who he would see quite often!

Molly is such a different name to Bella/Ella that I can see why it has not worked for you.

My dh's surname (and name of our children) begins with B btw, and have no issues with Bella B (actually am thinking it would have been quite nice to name dd that!)

MrsRV Tue 14-Jan-14 20:17:13

I really feared this would happen to me and still do with currently cooking bab. it's duch a huge responsibility naming another person. DD is Ella and my dad calls her Bella. we call her Ella Bella and don't regret our choice now. I really don't like Ellie as a name and think it's entirely different to Ella.

Change it.... go for it!

p.s. I also like Belle or Elle x

Inertia Tue 14-Jan-14 23:43:00

Other family members get to name their own babies- ignore the upturned noses and choose a name that you and DH like!

You could start from the beginning of the naming process, get some books of names, make lists of ones you like etc. Whatever you do, don't discuss her name with family until it is finalised and reregistered.

DessieLou Wed 15-Jan-14 08:24:44

How are you getting on OP?

i agree with others, change it if you dont like it. also agree that its a great suggestion to start afresh completely.

fwiw i think mollys a very sweet name for a little girl or a pet (we had a cat called molly!) but a bit weak for a grown up. kind of sounds like the shortened version of something.

Butterfly82 Wed 15-Jan-14 08:34:40

So we have spoken to the registrar they are sending me the correct forms just need to be sure what we are going to call her just know I will regret it if I don't change it.

DessieLou Wed 15-Jan-14 08:44:10

Glad to hear you've got the ball rolling. Good luck & keep us informed. smile

Bugabooed Wed 15-Jan-14 08:49:50

Well done - you'll feel much better once you've changed it. Go with your heart and choose the name you and your dh love the most, don't let others opinions sway you.

CarlaVeloso Wed 15-Jan-14 14:03:53

Good for you! Take your time, no rush. It's much less of a big deal than it probably feels to you.

Naming babies can be so hard.

Puddles1234 Wed 15-Jan-14 14:13:44

Good Luck Butterfly82 You should definitely change your daughters name. I completely sympathise with you, me and my husband are currently deciding upon a name and it's the most difficult decision and so many people love to give their opinion which makes it harder.

nikki1391 Sun 19-Jan-14 15:21:34

My daughters name is Alyssa (a-liss-ah) when we registered her I felt pressured to pick a name as OH hated pretty much every name except for 2 which I didn't like at all. I pretty much chose a name on the way to the registry office. At the time the name didn't suit her at all and oh hated it, my mum also hated it. I bearly even said her name and thought about changing it to Ava. She's 3 years old now and I'm glad I didn't change it. The name really suits her and we all have no problem with it at all, we alternate between calling her Alyssa and her nickname Aly x

Butterfly82 Sun 19-Jan-14 18:45:54

Your probably right nikki1391 but one of my main problems with the name Molly is that everyone takes it upon themselves to call her moll and I absolutely hate it I must have corrected about 10 people already that's not her name and she isn't 4 months old yet. Molly is a sweet name but she just isn't a Molly to me and if I don't change it I will regret it I don't want to miss my chance. She would have been ella all along if her cousin wasn't called ellie that is where my problem is I don't want to fall out with the in laws

Theonlyoneiknow Sun 19-Jan-14 18:53:45

No one has the right to a name. If you love Ella then go for it x

MrsRV Sun 19-Jan-14 19:15:59

could you have Ella-Rose or something like that to make it sound a bit different...? but I still maintain that Ella and Ellie and even Elle are completely different names. Have Ella.

BouncingJellyfish Sun 19-Jan-14 19:23:02

I have a pair of first cousins with the same name. My aunts are close and neither of them were bothered. Not exactly the same name but one is Alex and the other Alexander. Both get called Alex. If she really feels like an Ella go for it.

AdoraBell Sun 19-Jan-14 19:26:26

I think Ella is sufficiently different To Ellie because of the end sounds. If it where , fe, Ellie and Nelly I think that would be confusing.

How much older is Ellie than your DD? If it's only a couple of weeks then I can kind of understand people being a bithmm, even though it's none of their business, really.

I'm glad you've decided To do something positivesmile.

Well if the ILs wanted Ella they would have used it. They chose Ellie which is different enough!

Just go for Ella

MrsRV Sun 19-Jan-14 20:10:52

I agree with AdoraBell... different because of the end sound.

Butterfly82 Sun 19-Jan-14 20:12:43

She is 6 so a bit of a gap I think if it was my sister i wouldn't be worried my Dh said he doesn't care what they say it's different and if we choose Isabella then they won't have same initials your all right I am over thinking it just wish I chose it from the first day.

AdoraBell Sun 19-Jan-14 20:48:19

A 6 year old can grasp the difference and will know that her little cousin Ella has a different Name. Don't worry what Anyone else says and as already suggested, don't tell Anyone úntil it's done.

jamtoast12 Sun 19-Jan-14 20:59:54

Seriously you can't have Ella with an Ellie in the family, it's practically the same name! I'd find it very wierd. Bella is fine though.

newyearhere Sun 19-Jan-14 21:01:46

How about a name starting with El, that would give the nickname Ella?

Elsie, Elodie, Eleanor?

LongTailedTit Sun 19-Jan-14 21:43:48

I had a different first name until I was 1mo when DM changed it - and I'm glad she did! Don't worry, it seems like the right decision for you and her.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about the similarity to cousin's name - DNephew has the exact same name as his cousin (BIL's nephew), same first name and same surname. It isn't a problem at all.

Having said that, I like the idea of a slightly longer name shortened to Ellie/Ella.

Ellie: Elinor, Elisabeth, Elise, Ellen, Eloise
Ella/Bella: Elena, Isabel, Annabel

Mrsindecision Mon 20-Jan-14 13:46:52

Ella and Ellie are different enough IMO - and it's not like they're siblings. I think Isabella is a great choice as it gives her lots of options for nicknames in the future. I am sure you're feel better once you've made your decision.

Mabelandrose Tue 21-Jan-14 08:56:47

I think you should go with Ella. It's clearly the only name you love. I really don't think it's a problem. Go with you heart this time.

Algorithm Tue 21-Jan-14 19:36:33

Do what you please - me and my DU (my DM brother) have directly the same name just the first initial is different and my DGM looked after me a lot as a child and he is a lot younger than my DM and still lived at home, so that was fun and as we're a small family it still is great fun at Xmas etc., and because we both have the same surname it can be funny if a call is received about one of us at my DGM house as she's slightly deaf now!

Honestly I don't mind having such a similar name to him and still see him at least once a month.

Also know sisters (year apart) called Shammy and Tammy and had twin boys in my younger sister's class called Hussein and Hassan.

Ella and Ellie really won't be that much of a problem :p

moggle Wed 22-Jan-14 10:44:21

My DH has a brother and a cousin called Tom (born to sisters), and I have two cousins called Richard (again born to sisters). The thing is that it seems massive that they have similar names now because you probably all spend a lot of time together as the kids are all small, but as they grow older they won't at all and you will wonder why you were so worried. In my family people were a bit surprised when the second Richard was named thus, but now it seems ridiculous - they live on different continents and probably only see each other once every few years.

moggle Wed 22-Jan-14 10:46:55

Oh the only problem with Tom and Tom is that younger Tom gets called Baby Tommy even though he's 31 now... but that won't be a problem with your daughter as they are different names.

diddl Wed 22-Jan-14 11:05:10

I think that Molly is a lovely name.

But Ella is fabulous.

You must use it if you really want, not something with the nn Ella iyswim.

Tabliope Thu 23-Jan-14 21:43:51

I'd go with Ella too. It's what you love so why shouldn't you use it. You're not copying. I'd just say look I know this seems a bit odd but it's the name I really wanted. I fought it but she's just not a Molly to me and everything else is a compromise. Apart from meeting up as family the 6 year gap means they won't be together that much when they're older so will live separate lives largely with different friendship groups.

Years ago it was very common to name kids, especially boys, after family members so in large families you'd get the same name used a couple of times. We've got 2 Gordons, 3 variations of James, 2 Davids, 2 Michaels, 3 variations of Roberts, 4 variations of Elizabeth and 3 variations of Margaret in the family. No one has thought anything of it.

Apart from anything I think Ella is nicer. It seems a more complete name on its own to me whereas Ellie seems a shortening of a number of different names - Eleanor, Eloise, etc. When I hear Ella I think Ella Fitzgerald. It's a lovely name. What is your niece Ellie short for btw?

Tabliope Thu 23-Jan-14 21:45:06

I also know of cousins Esther and Hester.

sunwish Fri 24-Jan-14 00:36:37

I think if it was going to grow on you it would have started to by now. Three months in if you actually hate it I think you should definitely change it!

How about these:

Claribel
Mabel
Maribel
Mirabel

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