I think we're going to ignore the surname issue. Are we mean?

(118 Posts)
LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 07:43:42

Our surname rhymes with (and has the same number of letter as) pea but starts with a 'L'.

I am pg with dc3. We have two dds and I haven't used my favourite girls name with them because of the surname issue. The name is Rosa. So when said together it can be confused as one name.

Dh is all for throwing caution to the wind and saying the surname issue will be a minor one. He has also fallen in love with the name.

This is our last baby and will be the last chance to use it.

What do you think?

SweepTheHalls Tue 20-Aug-13 07:44:43

Don't do it. Why on earth would you want to make your child be a target for bullies?

Sirzy Tue 20-Aug-13 07:45:55

Same surname as me - personally I wouldn't do it.

TheOneAndOnlyFell Tue 20-Aug-13 07:47:12

So the cup of tea and the gypsy?

It's not awful, it's not the end of the world, but you probably will get heartily sick of everyone commenting on it. And so will she. You'll only have to endure it while she's a pre-schooler. She'll have to endure it if and until she gets married and changes her name!

Personally I wouldn't risk it, but I don't think it's the daftest name combination I've heard.

Why don't you pick Rosamund and use Rosa as a nn? Dilutes the problem somewhat.

nettlemummy Tue 20-Aug-13 07:48:08

It's fine, I don't understand why it is an issue. It's not like Michael hunt or Isaac cox or anything.

BuggedByJake Tue 20-Aug-13 07:48:26


Littlefish Tue 20-Aug-13 07:49:26

Don't do it.

ChimeForChange Tue 20-Aug-13 07:49:40

I don't see the big deal at all....I think it's fine.

You hardly ever hear 'rosie lee' anyway and to be honest I think that's all dying out.

I think it sounds nice!

I can't see why you would get bullied for that name?

Mckayz Tue 20-Aug-13 07:50:27

Sweep, why will it make her a target for bullies?

My DD has the name it might be mistaken for and lots of people have assumed she's Rosa-Lee rather than Rosalie. So you might not have too much of a problem.

Moochicken Tue 20-Aug-13 07:51:55

I don't think it's a name that a child would get bullied over. I think it's more quirky than anything.

Are you worried because it sounds like rosily or because it sounds a little like a twilight character? If it's the latter then I wouldn't worry because the craze is over now and I think people have stopped making those connections as much. In a few years no one will think if it.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 07:57:24

I don't think it would make her a target for bullies.

I don't even know about the Twilight thing.

I'm just think she will get fed up of explaining 'That is my whole name, my surname is Lee.'

I don't understand the issue. Nothing about it sounds odd. Use it.

ChimeForChange Tue 20-Aug-13 08:01:35

Surely a big enough pause in between her saying Rosa and Lee will clear up the separate name issue?

I wouldn't do it.

However, we used our "unuseable with surname" name as a second middle name for DS2. It slightly puzzles/amuses people when said out loud, but that's approximately never.

msrisotto Tue 20-Aug-13 08:06:34

How about giving her the name Rosalind but call her Rosa on a day to day basis?

towerofjelly Tue 20-Aug-13 08:08:07

Would you consider giving her your maiden name as a middle name. You have the option for her/you to use it as a double barrelled surname if it becomes an issue. Rosa Thompson pea. Breaks it up a bit.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:12:11

ChimeForChange - Dh sais exactly the same thing about a long pause last night.

My maiden name is a foreign complicated name that she won't thank for me.

Dh doesn't like Rosalind.

HotCrossPun Tue 20-Aug-13 08:14:01

I think it's fine. Having an unusual name (which your suggestion isn't) is not a prerequisite for getting bullied.

Trills Tue 20-Aug-13 08:15:02

I don't think its about bullying, it's about it being a PITA to explain.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:16:05

Exactly Trills.

Rhubarbgarden Tue 20-Aug-13 08:18:21

I've heard worse.

Yamyoid Tue 20-Aug-13 08:19:06

She can say it like James Bond. The name's Rosa, Rosa Lea.
But seriously, I think it's fine and a lovely name.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:19:46

grin Yamyoid

I think that the surname in question is particularly troublesome because it is so often used as the second half of a double-barrel for boys and girls at the moment. Almost any name you give her will recently have been used by someone with -Leigh bolted on. I think confusion is nearly inevitable.

Bearing that in mind, avoiding the most commonly used as "first half of a -leigh" names (Rosa, Ash, Demihmm etc) would seem prudent.

CPtart Tue 20-Aug-13 08:23:33

Roseanne instead?
I immediately think of the gypsy when I hear your combination.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:26:25

Dh doesn't like any longer version of Rosa.

The gypsy thing is a problem <<sigh>>

QOD Tue 20-Aug-13 08:26:45

Do it. It's Rosie Lee you should avoid, this is Rosa Lee.

You know, my name doesn't go with my surname cos, guess what? I got married!!

Too many R's in my name now. Think Laura Rawlinson r r r r r r so its not a forever thing possibly anyway

Trills Tue 20-Aug-13 08:30:03

I guess you could be reassured by the fact that half of the people on this thread think "Gypsy Rose Lee" rather than thinking "Rosalie".

Maybe she'll only have to explain that Rosa Lee is two names to half the people she meets.

Yamyoid that would be Lee, Rosa Lee.

I thought the same as Yamyoid.

This is my daughter Rosa, Rosa Lea

No problem

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:35:46

Its not going well is it Trills?

I think we're back to using Charlotte instead.

TobyLerone Tue 20-Aug-13 08:36:21

How on earth will her name sounding like 'Rosalie' make her a target for bullies?

Rosa is a lovely name, OP. Use it if you like it.

2beornot Tue 20-Aug-13 08:41:17

Ok so she'll (and you'll for the first x years of her life) will say "it's rosa lea, first name rosa, surname lea". If that's ok with you then do it. It's no worse than me always having to say "it's 2be, 2 hyphen be" and I dont care!

KittieCat Tue 20-Aug-13 08:54:11

I honestly don't think it's a problem. I always pick up on initials and odd sounding names but Ros'A' Lee isn't one I'd notice.

Rosy Lee would make me think of a cuppa and it'd have to be Ros'E' to make me think of Gypsy Rose Lee.

The hard A sound in Rosa differentiates the name from the two 'problems' above. You will simply have to encourage your daughter to speak well (hurrah) and to pause appropriately between her names.

Also, honestly how often do you need to use your full name in a spoken manner? If these circumstances are the problem consider giving her a middle name she could use on those occasions she needs to 'announce' her full moniker.

There are people I know who only know my full name as they've seen it written through work, on emails etc and you would not make the connections above on sight.

I'd use it...

KittieCat Tue 20-Aug-13 08:55:15

Also, if people thought she was called Rosalie they'd likely shorten it to Rosa anyway...

LynetteScavo Tue 20-Aug-13 08:55:16

Rosa is a lovely name, and I actually think it goes well with the surname, obviously the only problem being people might think it was one name. But t's not that much of a problem.

(I also really like the name Rosabella)

Fairylea Tue 20-Aug-13 08:59:11

I don't see a problem with it at all.... I think it's nice.

whyno Tue 20-Aug-13 09:07:21

What Kittycat said smile

RustyBear Tue 20-Aug-13 09:09:32

I doubt if it's going to be as much of a problem as people think really - we have a surname which is also a very popular girls' name, often used as a middle name. I was worried that whatever name I gave DD it would be confusing when I/she had to say it. I actually asked her once how often anyone had commented and she said "Twice I think, and one of those was xxx being a twat" (xxx being a friend who knew perfectly well what her name was) Mostly people just said "What a lovely name"

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 20-Aug-13 09:50:09

It's lovely. Use it.

TheBleedinObvious Tue 20-Aug-13 09:55:06

I don't see a problem at all. It sounds fine together.

MinnieBar Tue 20-Aug-13 09:55:11

Far too many Charlottes about (no offence - it's a lovely name, but I know at least four). Go for it!

Mwirren Tue 20-Aug-13 09:57:04

What about Rosemary L......ee and then nn of Rosa

Mwirren Tue 20-Aug-13 09:57:34

just realised rosie lee is a cuppa tea innit.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 20-Aug-13 10:01:48

I don't think it's a bully target name. But she'll get sick of explaining to people that her first name is Rosa, and her surname is Lee. Most people would just think she has a hyphenated first name called Rosa-lee. It can get very annoying. DH hated his name because of it. His parents picked two one syllable names, and he hated how rapper it sounds. And if in any place he needs to use his full name, everyone automatically hyphenates it.

TheContrastOfWhiteOnWhite Tue 20-Aug-13 10:05:22

Yes, sorry. I would think cup of tea and/or gypsy.

I speak as someone who had to can many names because of our surname, so I feel your pain.

TobyLerone Tue 20-Aug-13 10:06:10

Oh, it's a rarity that people don't have to spell/explain their names nowadays.

I have a perfectly normal first name. And a perfectly normal last name, for that matter. I still have to spell both every time.

My maiden name was one of those which can be spelled with or without an 'e' on the end. I had to spell that since I was a child.

I am currently between last names, having recently got married. So I have to explain that, too.

It's perfectly normal. So Rosa Lee will be no more annoying than Jane Smyth.

oscarwilde Tue 20-Aug-13 10:57:39

Is it rhyming slang or something? Not getting the tea/Gypsy Rose Lee thing at all....
Unless you live in East London I can't see it being an issue.
Rosa is lovely. I suspect that most people will be lazy and just call her Ros or Rose though, especially at school. Will that bug you?

TheOneAndOnlyFell Tue 20-Aug-13 11:03:05

Rosie L = rhyming slang for cup of tea

Gypsy Rose L - gypsy woman famous for erm..something or other.

Mwirren Tue 20-Aug-13 11:06:01

I think it's a bit like Annette Curtain. Would you {being objective with a different name} use Annette if your sur name was Curtain?? I think it's about the same.

I know a family with the sur name Byrne who named their son William, and she did think about the potential for willy burn and hmmd and hwwd over it and yet shock still decided that actually it was ok, it would be fine. So I think people can lose their objectivity.

TheContrastOfWhiteOnWhite Tue 20-Aug-13 12:09:12

Rose Lee.

Am shock that her mum re-named her because she wanted to give the name to her sister. That puts things you see on here in perspective.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 12:11:50

I don't think links like that help wink

TheContrastOfWhiteOnWhite Tue 20-Aug-13 12:12:44

No, probably not. Sorry!

Honestly, I massively feel your pain. I have a rubbish surname for ruling out other names.

millymae Tue 20-Aug-13 12:42:17

I must come from a different planet to many of you as I really can't see there being a problem with the name Rosa Lea. The vast majority of her peers will never have heard or care about Gypsy Rose Lee and the name Rosalie is not exactly common so I don't see there being an issue with her having to explain that her first name is Rosa and her second name Lea. Sometimes I think we can overthink things like this. IMHO Rosa is lovely and goes perfectly well with your surname. If you like it don't be put off.

noddyholder Tue 20-Aug-13 12:44:35

I think its fine. I can imagine someone introducing themselves as Rosa Lee and getting that its 2 names! MN over thinks names all teh time Suit yourself smile not other people

My dd4's first part of her name (she has the mumsnet pet hate of a hyphen) rhymes with her surname, it's no big deal.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 12:52:33

I think we consider it an issue as we named dd1 without considering the surname.

Her name is 24 on the ONS list. Her first name + surname doesn't even make a 'real' first name yet people still ask us what her surname is when we say both names together.

So now we have adapted how we say her name. I say it with a long pause in between names when asked. Dh takes a different approach, he says just her first name and then waits to be asked for her surname.

Its not been that big a deal as I think if people are stupid enough to think we would call our daughter a completely made up, unheard of name, then its their issue not ours.

The difference with Rosa is that it actually does make a real name; Rosalie.

MrsMongoose Tue 20-Aug-13 16:55:30

I know an Emma Lee and tbh it's awkward for her. Teased at school, and when introducing herself, she constantly gets 'Emily what?'

eurochick Tue 20-Aug-13 17:00:08

I'd immediately think gypsy. Why would you do this to your child? Rhyming slang would be the second thing that popped into my head (I am not a cockney).

Mckayz Tue 20-Aug-13 17:05:48

As I said earlier I have a Rosalie and have never heard of the gyspy and I don't get the tea thing either.

Maybe I am too young or in the wrong part of the country.

TheContrastOfWhiteOnWhite Tue 20-Aug-13 17:31:06

I think Rosalie is fine, it's the Rosa Lee that would make the connection in people's minds. You say "My name is Rosalie Smith", that sounds rather different to someone introducing themselves as "Hi, I'm Rosa Lee", when I'm guessing a lot of adults would be mentally adding 'Gypsy'.

lifesgreatquestions Tue 20-Aug-13 17:35:21

I think Rosa Lee is lovely! I don't get the gypsy part.

wickeddevil Tue 20-Aug-13 17:38:56

Suggestion I heard, possibly on mumsnet, was to try putting Dr in front of the whole name to test whether it works as a proper grown up name. Using this test - I have to say your name works for me - what do you and DH think?

AltogetherAndrews Tue 20-Aug-13 17:45:32

I think Rosa goes with the surname better than Charlotte, which sounds really awkward.

wickeddevil Tue 20-Aug-13 17:51:20

She could always try the 007 approach. The names Lee. Rosa Lee grin

AngelaOxford Tue 20-Aug-13 17:56:11

What about Rosamund, if you still want to use Rosa? Rosamund Lee.

I adore the name about some people find it too harsh in comparison to Rosalind, for example.

I also know an emma lee and it's fine. Rosa wss top of my list but dh wss not keen. Gypsy or tea did not occur to me. Go for it.

Bowlersarm Tue 20-Aug-13 18:48:31

I wouldn't.

But I might be guilty of over thinking it.

I still wouldn't though.

Leopoldina Tue 20-Aug-13 18:55:48

Bryan Adams' second daughter is called Lula Rosylee because she was born at tea time (the Lula is from Be-Bop-a-Lula). His first daughter was also named in tribute to when she was born - Mirabella Bunny (Easter baby)

orangepudding Tue 20-Aug-13 18:56:26

I would use it. Rosa is a lovely name. I don't think it will cause her to be bullied.

sweetkitty Tue 20-Aug-13 19:06:46

I have often had the problem the other way round I am X-Lee then a boring surname like Smith. People think Lee is my second name.

I've hated having a hyphenated name all my life.

Well, I am biased, but Rosa is a beautiful name grin
I didn't think of the gypsy connection and had never heard of the rhyming slang.
Just go for it. My Rosa has a surname that begins with Ro too, I'm sure that some would find it cruel but nobody has batted an eyelid in the two years since she's been born. Not that I even say her full name very often!

MyBoysAreFab Tue 20-Aug-13 22:29:05

I also think that Roseabella is a fantastic name and could be shortened to Rosa which is also lovely.

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 23:07:14

Dh says even if people do think of the gypsy or cockney slang, so what? He doesn't think they really matter.

I'm a bit worried the Gypsy thing could lead to bullying - but how many of her peers would know that?

Dysgu Tue 20-Aug-13 23:29:04

I also think Rosa goes better with your surname than Charlotte although they are both lovely names.

I do not think that using Rosa is likely to lead to your child being bullied because of her name; I can't imagine that her peers would think anything of it and TBH many adults wouldn't make the possible connection with either the gypsy or tea.

My dad has a name that, when said together (firstname/surname) run into each other and can make it hard to work out where his first name ends and his surname begins : think something like Paul Ledwick could be Paul Edwick. Not quite the same issue as you are considering but he has spent 60+ years easily overcoming this by leaving a pause between his names. there must be LOADS of other people whose names also run together to lead to possible ambiguity.

I would use Rosa (and also think it goes very well with the 24th name on the ONS list.)

LoopyLupo Tue 20-Aug-13 23:42:49

Just reread my last post, I meant dh thinks the connections don't matter - not the people who make those connections.

Sorry if it sounded like that!

Thanks Dysgu, I think they sound nice together smile

Frikadellen Wed 21-Aug-13 00:05:17

I would do it Rosa is beautiful.

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 09:44:23

Dh has read the thread and is convinced we should.

I'm still not sure <<sigh>>

Br0na Wed 21-Aug-13 09:46:09

cuppa rosie lea!? he's mad.

if your sur name were Murray would he use Ruby?

it's the same.

Br0na Wed 21-Aug-13 09:51:04

HorryIsUpduffed is right, so many names have the name 'leigh' bolted on to the end these days you need to make sure it's clear what the sur name is. I think if you say your name and your sur name it's fairly important that the sur name is discernible.

Rosamund Lea. I think you should put one on the bc so that occasionally she can use it. Rosemary Lee, but everybody calls me Rosa. your dh won't be the one standing there saying 'no lea is the sur name. my first name is just Rosa, no not Rosalie, Rosa Pause Lea. fgs!

ScrambledSmegs Wed 21-Aug-13 09:53:09

Rosa is a lovely name. DD2 was going to be Rosamund, nn Rosa till DH decided he actually didn't like it sad. It means 'Rose of the world'

I don't see the problem with your surname either.

TarkaLiotta Wed 21-Aug-13 10:16:07

I don't see a problem with Rosa Lee. Charlotte Lee is worse in a way - Charlie Lee?

No, no and no again. Child's name is an inherent part of her identity; she won't thank you for giving her such a ridiculous monikor. What is your DH thinking?.

ChasedByBees Wed 21-Aug-13 10:29:25

I think it would be fine. They sound quite good together as you can round it by adding a pause. I don't see a big problem here (and I also have an annoying surname which rules out anything ending in -a, -e as well as a whole host of other names so I feel your pain).

LaRegina Wed 21-Aug-13 10:29:45

I think the rhythm of a name is just as important - so with a very short surname like that I would be using a first name with at least three (or more) syllables - like Jessica Lee, Imogen Lee, Catherine Lee, etc etc!

MoottonBun Wed 21-Aug-13 10:35:46

Since you already have the issue with DD1's name even though it doesn't make a "real name", e.g. Jane Lee, but still have to explain/adapt it anyway, why not just go with Rosa Lee as you can't avoid it whatever it is...
Also, how about:
Rosetta Lee
Rosalba Lee
Rosina Lee
Rosella Lee
or to hell with it, Rosalie Lee?

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 11:09:04

Mottoon - you have a good point there. And I have to spell our surname everytime so maybe its an issue we have regardless.

DanicaJones Wed 21-Aug-13 17:48:10

I wouldn't do it because of the cockney rhyming slang 'Cup of Rosie Lee. ' First thing I thought of and I'm not a Londoner.

ElleCloughie Wed 21-Aug-13 17:48:27

I think it's a pretty name, which goes eatly with the surname, and as for it getting confused with the surname, how often do people address someone they know by their full name? There are plenty of other names out there which will make people raise their eyebrows, I don't see this as being one of them.

Boosiehs Wed 21-Aug-13 17:58:03

Definitely not. I'm someone who has to spell my name every freaking time it's asked. I wouldn't give a child a name that even now you know will cause confusion. It's not about just what you like, she'll have to live with it.

Wasn't gypsy rose lee a stripper?!

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 18:24:44

I have a three letter surname. I have to spell it.

This child will have to spell her surname regardless of what first name we give her.

LoopThePoop Wed 21-Aug-13 18:29:01

The Rosalie thing would be enough for me to say no.

Every time she gives her name it will be taken as Rosalie and then she'll be asked her surname.
No, that's my name Rosa Lee.
Yes, I got that part. What's your surname?

Every. Single. Time.

BikeRunSki Wed 21-Aug-13 18:30:50

My first name and maiden name (which I still use at work) run into each other to make another first name and it is really annoying. People think I am called something different, use that to email me (which doesn't work of course), however much of a pause I leave when introducing myself new acquaintances always mishear, post goes missing, it is a pita.

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 18:32:22

Any other suggestions for longer versions of Rosa?

None of them are thrilling dh so far.

BikeRunSki Wed 21-Aug-13 18:32:52

I have my own version of the conversation that Loop just posted about once a day.

To rub salt into the wound, my married name makes my an infamous, male rock star of the 1980s.

flybynight Wed 21-Aug-13 18:38:10

I think loads of posters are massively over thinking this. Rosa Lee sounds lovely. So does Rosamund as suggested up thread. But really, if its what you want, go for it.

HighJinx Wed 21-Aug-13 18:47:18

I'm with Loop

The fact that you already have to say your eldest DD's name in a special way even though together they don't make a 'real' name would make me want to avoid giving a child a full name that does sound like a first name. It makes something that is an issue more likely to cause confusion.

You could do the hyphenated thing yourself. Something like Rosa-May, Rosa-Grace, Rosa-Jane etc.

TobyLerone Wed 21-Aug-13 22:08:32

Ugh, no. It's too pretty to hyphenate.

I'm not sure that Loop is correct. And even if she is, it really doesn't matter! People aren't really that thick. How often do you get asked your full name for official purposes where it's not just "first name?"..."last name?"? It certainly doesn't happen often to me.

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 22:18:04

We only have the 'surname' conversation at the doctors with dd1.

I do wonder though, if this baby would get it more as she grew up. Especially if her job involved introducing herself a lot.

LoopyLupo Wed 21-Aug-13 22:19:04

Is that a prime example of overthinking?

TobyLerone Wed 21-Aug-13 22:26:05

Yep grin

DanicaJones Wed 21-Aug-13 23:38:04

Let us know what you decide OP

LoopyLupo Thu 22-Aug-13 09:19:16

I will do - although dh and I seem to be further apart on this than ever

Mckayz Thu 22-Aug-13 09:44:44

I would go for it. I am always spelling my name. Always have done since I was little and its the same since getting married. Takes a few seconds. It won't hinder her for life.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 22-Aug-13 12:08:16

Isn't Rosalie a name in it's own right?

Rosa Lee would just be confused with that if nothing else.

LoopyLupo Thu 22-Aug-13 18:02:03

Ok, if not Rosa. What about Thea?

I hate my surname <<stamps feet>>

TobyLerone Thu 22-Aug-13 18:09:06

Stop second-guessing yourself. Rosa is beautiful. It's far nicer than Thea and goes much better with your surname.

Mckayz Thu 22-Aug-13 18:14:40

Don't like Thea at all. I think it sounds worse with your surname too.

HighJinx Thu 22-Aug-13 18:31:20

Thea Lee runs into one word too much I think. Sort of sounds like dearly.

Names with a stronger ending would be better with your surname which is no help when you like names like Rosa and Thea.

HighJinx Thu 22-Aug-13 18:39:13

If you don't want to go with Rosa have you discounted Rosetta, Roseanne, Rosanna, Rosemary, Rosamund and Rosalind?

ChippingInHopHopHop Thu 22-Aug-13 18:51:32

TheaLee - absolutely not!

I wouldn't use Rosa. It will drive her batshit.

Charlotte is a bit of a 'run on' name though.

I think, before Lee, the names that work best are those that have a 'hard' ending. Amanda, Helen, Caitlin, Sarah, Heather, Jennifer (but of course something less 70's would be better!!) - things that don't 'run' or make you go thththhhheh in between smile

exoticfruits Thu 22-Aug-13 18:56:15

Yes it would be mean.

TobyLerone Thu 22-Aug-13 19:24:15

Doesn't Amanda have the same ending as Rosa?

christinarossetti Thu 22-Aug-13 19:30:54

Rosa is the best girl's name.

Fact. Go for it I say.

LoopyLupo Thu 22-Aug-13 19:36:31

I like Rosanna, dh not so keen. I may be able to take him round.

I think Amanda ends the same as Rosa Toby.

LoopyLupo Thu 22-Aug-13 21:48:30

Good news - dh likes Rosanna!

It seems I had run all the other 'rose' names past him but had somehow missed that one or he wasn't listening.

Anyway he really likes it so I think we're going with Rosanna nn Rosa.

Hurrah for Rosanna!

How long have you got? Not long enough for him to change your his mind I hope.

TobyLerone Thu 22-Aug-13 22:03:23

Rosanna is lovely. Good compromise smile

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