In your opinion, can people with names like 'Posy', 'Kitty' or 'Dotty' be taken seriously?

(392 Posts)
Stateofgrace Sat 03-Aug-13 13:25:46

...I happen to think so, but my family and a few friends disagree. Strongly.

Almost every name I have considered is of the 'cutesy' variety - as well as the above three, I also like Polly, Lola and Nelly. I seem to just like girly names. My mother is fond of telling me ''You are naming a person, not a baby'' as if I am not aware that baby will grow up. hmm

I know that you shouldn't tell people the names before baby is born and present the name as a fait acompli, but I really don't want to pick a name which everyone else seems to hate...

Any thoughts / experiences on this? My mother this morning has just told me that ''she wouldn't trust a Doctor called something ridiculous like Posy'', which is actually one of my favourite names. confused

Any thoughts/experiences on this?

SantanaLopez Sat 03-Aug-13 13:30:46

I agree with your mother. Sorry.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 13:31:58

The thing is, the sort of names you are suggesting are popular at the moment so when this generation of children grow up there will be many doctors,,lawyers, professionals, who have names such as these.

I think your mum is wrong.

Although personally i do like the ability to have a more sort of finished name I suppose. So in your example, I love Kitty but would have it short of Katherine.

PinkSippyCup Sat 03-Aug-13 13:35:26

Well my personal opinion is that I agree with your Mother. I don't like over girly name such as Poppy, Posy etc. I think they give off the impression of being a bit ditsy.

But I seem to be in a minority because those names are all really popular! I think you should just name your baby what you like and stop asking your Mum because you obviously don't have the same taste in names!

EuphemiaLennox Sat 03-Aug-13 13:36:39

Of course you can.

It just becomes their name and you associate that with their personality.

Your mother is stating her view as if it were fact or gospel, she just doesn't like your names.

I tend to like less cutesy names for girls myself, but that's just my opinion. If my doctor was called posy, I'd think nothing of it.

(BTW the name Posy got a right old bashing on here a few weeks ago, it was suggested it was abusive. Just warning yougrin)

Xuxidog Sat 03-Aug-13 13:40:22

My grandmother was called Kitty - short for Kathleen.

maja00 Sat 03-Aug-13 13:40:23

It depends...

If I met a photographer or a florist called Posy, no problem.

If I met a social worker or lawyer called Posy, I might think "aren't you a bit old for a name like that?". Subconsciously at least it seems a bit unprofessional.

Posy Smith, Cupcake Baker
vs.
Josephine Smith, Oncologist

Chottie Sat 03-Aug-13 13:40:56

I agree with your mother. I dislike cutesy names too, but what you call your DD is up to you, not MN or your mum!!!

ShowOfHands Sat 03-Aug-13 13:44:04

The most professional and respected woman I know is a Kitty. It hasn't once occurred to me that her name is any way not suited to her status. She is more than just a name. It's just the noise I make to get her attention.

Our local high court judge has a ridiculously twee, hippy name too.

I think children very quickly transcend their name tbh.

I have no problem with these names as nicknames, but I don't like them as actual given names, simply because they leave the person with no real choice on preference.

If you were named Katherine for example, you could be Kat, Kit, Kate, Katie, Kitty, Kath, Kathie, Thrin... or any variety thereof. If you were named Kitty, you can be Kit or Kitty.

I know of an Alfie, Billy, Bobby, Jamie, Posy AND Kitty.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 13:49:26

I loath any name that ends in ie or y I just think they are so silly, lovely and cute on a baby but not for an adult. Its like I imagine a big stapping bloke called Freddie or Jamie come on! I know I'm on my own in this opinion but ugh.

MoonHare Sat 03-Aug-13 13:49:38

I agree with your Mum.

Children may well transcend their name to a certain degree but as adults we have to do things like apply for jobs, attend conferences and meet new people all the time who have not had the benefit of getting to know us first. It doesn't mean someone will definitely not succeed in a serious field but it's hardly going to be an advantage is it? Why limit a person from the outset.

Twirlyhot Sat 03-Aug-13 13:53:31

I agree with your mother. Josephine, Catherine and Dorothy on the birth certificate, Posy, Kitty and Dotty for everyday use. That way they have the choice as to what they use as they grow up. They may choose to use the shortened version but it's their decision.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 13:54:37

I agree with your mum, sorry.
Though I'm not sure if that's because I dislike cutesy names like posy and poppy.
Having said that, my dd2 is Kitty, though it's short for Catherine.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 13:54:40

sonlypuppyfat your social circle must be seriously small if you don't know any men with names which end on 'y' or 'ie'

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 13:56:03

bowler there's only men round here

Twirlyhot Sat 03-Aug-13 13:56:10

Most of the women used as examples will have chosen to go by a shortened version of their given name.

LondonMother Sat 03-Aug-13 14:02:55

Bobby, Jackie, Harry, Monty, Sandy.... all established men's names ending in y/ie. Nothing unmanly about any of them.

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 03-Aug-13 14:05:58

I agree with your mum. Far too twee. Give her a proper name so she had a choice.

lljkk Sat 03-Aug-13 14:05:59

My gut feeling is to go with your mom; but realistically, there are so many Kitty's & Poppy's around nowadays, that we will get used to it & soon think they're no flimsier names than Rose or Fleur, I reckon.

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 14:06:53

Personally I don't like twee, girlie names or overly cutsesy boys names.

But as someone has already said these names are so ubiquitous that it's inevitable that 30 years from now there will be lawyers called Posy, social workers called Lola, politicians called Kitty, vets called Alfie and teachers called Freddie. And that's before we even begin to consider surveyors called Ace and driving instructors called Spike! They will be totally unremarkable names.

I would seriously worry for the intelligence of someone who mistrusted a doctor called Posy. Truly. They didn't choose their own names you silly people, their parents did.

A name does not impact on one's intelligence.

mirry2 Sat 03-Aug-13 14:07:16

I'm another one who agrees with your mum.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 14:07:55

Bobby for a man!

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 14:08:44

...Andy, Toby, Tony, Anthony, Jeremy, Jeffrey, Gary, Barry, Johnnie, Rory, Danny, Robbie.....

I think you'll find that names ending in 'y' is not a new phenomenon sonlypuppyfat I am amazed you don't know any.

VashtaNerada Sat 03-Aug-13 14:08:45

I think your mum's wrong. If those names were really unusual you might do a double-take, but with lots about it's fine. As for not trusting a doctor called Posy... hmm

tittytittyhanghang Sat 03-Aug-13 14:10:37

Your mother is wrong. And being silly imo. Judging people by their name? Stupidity much?

Put it this way, if you started a new thread in AIBU with "AIBU to disregard my doctor/solicitor/judges advice because she is called Lola" I can bet you would be flamed :D

WeAll Sat 03-Aug-13 14:13:52

I like Posy but I would put Josephine on the birth certificate. It gives more options to your DD.

soundedbetterinmyhead Sat 03-Aug-13 14:14:41

FWIW I'm with your mum too. Nothing wrong with cutsey nicknames that your DC might choose to keep on through adulthood, but give them the choice, I reckon. Or, if you really love Posy or whatever, give a solid second name so that the choice is still there and they can just drop it at will if they hate it.

However, name your children whatever you like - it's your call.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 14:15:00

I wasn't asked if I knew any I was asked if I liked the names! Do people not read the full message?

BeattieBow Sat 03-Aug-13 14:16:10

these are the names of my dds friends - Lily, Edie, Mimi, Jessie, Kitty, Polly, Daisy, Ellie, Dolly, Maisie, etc (you get the idea). There aren't any Kates, Sarahs, Alisons .

They're all teenagers. In 15 years time when they're 30 and lawyers, doctors, accountants, journalists, I really think that they will be the norm, and everyone will be fine seeing a doctor called Posy. Names like Sarah and Jo will be grannyish names then.

StuckOnARollercoaster Sat 03-Aug-13 14:18:06

When I was pg and reading the name threads regularly I often saw the same opinion as your mum, and it really made me doubt my favourite name for a girl.
But when she was born I couldn't bring myself to call her Beth/Elizabeth or Jenny/Jennifer and went with my true favourite of Daisy even though it is 'cute'.
I figure that she will grow with the name and it suits her. Even though I thought it couldn't be shortened she is already naturally finding nicknames -daisydoo, doodoo at 6 week's!

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 14:19:35

confused that's exactly what you were saying sonlypuppyfat. You couldn't imagine a man with a name ending in 'ie' or 'y' I think you were quoting Jamie and Freddie in particular.

AbsRugg Sat 03-Aug-13 14:22:33

It's your baby, no one else's - you call it what you want! Generally people are quick to tell you they dislike a name before the baby's born - once you've had the baby people always say its a lovely name! I had a little girl 9 weeks ago, I loved the name Belle and so many people said they didn't like it. I did call her Belle and not one person has said they dislike it now!

Stateofgrace Sat 03-Aug-13 14:22:38

Thanks for all the opinions, guys. I suppose ultimately it is up to us what we name our girl, however I just would hate to think I had disadvantaged her from the outset with a name which would never be taken seriously smile

I agree, my mother can be quite silly at times smile

Stateofgrace Sat 03-Aug-13 14:22:51

*not guys, girls lol

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 14:23:42

StuckOnARollerCoaster My friend was really wobbling about calling her baby Daisy as some people told her it was a bit too girlie. I told her that Daisy McAndrew the former ITN economics editor seemed to manage just fine.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 14:23:44

I can't imagine a man with those names it doesn't mean I don't know of them I just think they are toddlers names, and seem silly on a grown man which I thought was the point of this thread.

Ponyboycurtis Sat 03-Aug-13 14:26:27

Couldnt have put it better myself Beattiebow, its the person that defines a name not the other way round IME.

EuphemiaLennox Sat 03-Aug-13 14:30:02

You can't imagine a grown man called Jamie??

What a very limited imagination you have.

A know several. I wish I could introduce you it would blow your mind.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 03-Aug-13 14:31:55

Its James

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 14:34:17

You just sound childish now.

I admit that I prefer James to Jamie but come to Scotland and you'll meet lots of strapping Jamies. They abound.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 14:34:27

I believe Jamie Oliver isn't James. He's fairly strapping.

lifesgreatquestions Sat 03-Aug-13 14:46:58

In theory I agree with your mother but in practice I don't think it matters. I might smirk at meeting a Dotty or a Posy if they were a lawyer, police officer, etc., but that would quickly pass once the authority that comes with those position was embodied by Posy or whoever. And you are naming your child, not her.

notso Sat 03-Aug-13 14:49:23

I don't understand the need for choices. I don't know very many people in RL who choose a different name for themselves, some have a nickname but it is usually one given by parents of friends. The ones I know who have have chosen a new name picked a completely different one.

Lot's of people seem to forget than names like Alfie, Bobby,Polly, Dotty, Daisy etc were really popular a long time ago.
If you go to a nursing home or a graveyard there are lots of them. Diminutive names are not a new thing at all. I think part of the revival of these kind of names is that DC started being named after Grandparents and Great-Grandparents.

When I was at school Katie and Kate were really popular names and I know they have managed to become doctors, lawyers, consultants etc without having to lie and say it's short for Catherine at every job interview.

kerala Sat 03-Aug-13 14:52:22

Totally agree with your mother sorry. There is a news reporter called Daisy something - really professional and up together but I cringe when I hear her name she is so not a Daisy who to me is a curly haired toddler.

FairyThunderthighs Sat 03-Aug-13 14:54:19

This will blow your mind, I know a 6ft2, built like a brick shithouse, tattooed and pierced man called Kerry. Shocking!

MrsBungle Sat 03-Aug-13 14:56:44

I agree, somewhat, with your mother. I think names like posy and kitty just sound incredibly baby-ish. I just don't see them as 'substantial'. That's just my opinion on the actual name. I wouldn't judge the person.

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 14:57:01

That's the Daisy I was referring to kerala, Daisy McAndrew. And even if you cringe she's so far managed pretty well in her career even with such an affliction!

Tumford Sat 03-Aug-13 14:57:35

Sorry OP but the names you mention do make me cringe when I think of them belonging to an adult.

lljkk Sat 03-Aug-13 14:58:46

Imagine you've just been burgled and are feeling very violated. Which police officers would you rather came to investigate the crime:

Posy & Kitty

or

Catherine & Elizabeth

Even better, imagine you're the lowlife who burgles homes. Which pair do you take more seriously when they try to take you in for questioning?

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 14:59:20

kerala I'm pretty sure she doesn't need you to cringe on her behalf. She seems very poised and confident to me.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 15:03:15

Well lljkk, as I really like the name Kitty, I would like Kitty to interview me please smile. I'm not too keen on Elizabeth as a name so don't want her, but if she introduced herself as 'Libby' then that would be fine as I like that name.

confused this thread is going in a slightly peculiar direction.

JuliaScurr Sat 03-Aug-13 15:03:31

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Ussher
serious like an economist?
or serious like an MP?
smile

notso Sat 03-Aug-13 15:06:49

lljkk when I called the police after intervening in a horrible incident of violence the lovely police officers who came were Nicky and Gary. I certainly wasn't think I wish Nicola and Gareth had come instead.

OutragedFromLeeds Sat 03-Aug-13 15:07:03

I agree with your mum (not the doctor bit).

Plus how is she going to know when she's in really big trouble if you don't have a formal name to call her?! grin

I have a nickname given name and always wanted the long form. It's nice to have a name for casual use/friends etc. and a more formal one for formal occasions imo.

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 15:07:03

Lljkk if you've just been burgled you would not give two shiney shites as to what the investigating police officers names were.

Honestly, you sound utterly bizarre. As I said before I would question your intelligence if you assumed someone being called Posy meant they were incapable of doing a job they'd be trained for.

hmm

Do you generally get introduced to police officers by their first names?

notso Sat 03-Aug-13 15:10:33

I think if people cringe or decide on someones character because of their name it is their problem.
I don't think people should have to choose from a limited selection of names seen as serious enough to be a high court judge just because some people are ever so slightly snobby.

WetGrass Sat 03-Aug-13 15:12:21

I'm with your mum.

Cute name for daily use. Serious name for the birth certificate.

In a world where school application forms have a space for 'first name' middle name' and 'given name' - there is absolutely no disadvantage to offering your DC a choice of valid name variants to use as they grow up.

Our generation had the chance to shorten & change our over-long square names... next generation are being a bit stymied with a tide of unshortenable names... I think they might well assert their individuality by lengthening their names, or going for an alternative nickname from the same root.

I suppose, thinking about it, I'd probably have a slightly higher opinion of someone called Kitty if it were short for Katherine, because I like the name Kitty and if it's a short form it means the person herself chose it so shares my excellent taste; if it's her given name it just tells me that her parents had excellent taste grin.

keatsybeatsy Sat 03-Aug-13 15:14:17

You don't judge a person by their name surely? You could judge their parents, but not the person who has it confused . . .

When my granny was in a care home, it was full of women called Gracie, Dulcie, Kitty, Betty. Gorgeous names, they all stand the test of time.

Call your baby whatever you like (your choices are lovely anyway)- your mum sounds a bit odd after all smile.

LondonMother Sat 03-Aug-13 15:33:49

Posy Simmonds, 67 years old, has managed perfectly well being known by this name through a long and successful career.

Daisy Goodwin - 52. Also highly successful.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 15:37:31

I'm more snobby about people using names they like but I don't understand why people would use names like that now that they're fashionable and not 10yrs ago. I would use a name I like and have liked for the last 20 odd years and will like.

The idea that names like William and Catherine and now George become popular due to other people having/using them makes me wince.

People should look at a range of names and never ever consider the trendy amazing celeb person who has used it and then use it because they think it makes it cool. It's not cool, it just shows lack of imagination.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 15:39:09

Nothing wrong with William, Catherine or George if you liked them before and always. Just the rise I as reading about since their engagement/wedding and baby is just utterly ridiculous.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 15:47:34

The thing I think about that MaryKatharine is that sometimes there is a name you haven't or wouldn't have thought about but that grows on you because you hear it a lot, and the more you hear it, the more you like it.

It is possible from hearing a name that you haven't considered and thinking 'ok, that's an ok sort of name' to hearing it again and again and thinking 'yep, I really like that name.' To then considering it for your own DC.

That's why names become popular, and go in and put of fashion, I suppose.

I have DSes in their teens, and I keep quoting Kitty on here as a name I like. But I didn't consider it for any of my DSes because 15ish years ago I hadn't really come across it before so it wasn't in my orbit. But if I was now to have a dd (impossible) it would be top of my list.

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 15:51:08

I think it's pretty much impossible not to be influenced by the prevailing trends of the day, whether that means thinking 'Oh yes, I think I'll call my daughter Lily too' or alternately 'Anything but Lily thanks'.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 15:53:29

I suppose that account for some of it.
My Kitty is 5yrs old but I think I had always decided that if I had daughters they would have names that were formal with softer nns so I have Elizabeth (Lizzie) and Catherine (Kitty). My boys have similar names. I may have changed my mind though if 3 popstars or tv celebs had started to use it and created a trend.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 15:55:44

I suppose I always wanted names that could be found in every generation going back and back and back; and hopefully forward too. I'm mid 40s and although lots of girls at school were, Sarah and Tracey, there was still Elizabeths and Catherines around.

Presumably your mum wouldn't trust Dr Pixie of't telly! grin

I think it is entirely possible to be taken seriously. However, I'm pleased to have a full name which I can use on CVs and stuff, and not use my nickname which everyone knows me as. If I were to encounter someone like your mum in a job application process it's nice to know I'd "pass", because even if I wouldn't discriminate, I'm very aware that it happens.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 16:01:16

All my boys have long names but they are all known by the shortened version. Although that is more to do with the fact we have a short surname so wanted their full names to be a bit more interesting.

That's a good point squoosh about being put off a name because it's popular. If you had grown up dreaming of one day having a little girl called Lily, then finding that half the population have nicked 'your' name, how annoying is that.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 16:33:56

Yes, I have a friend whose 18yr old is called Grace. I remember everyone saying how lovely and unusual it was at the time. Fast forward a few years and it suddenly became very popular.

I also liked Jack 20 odd years ago, though we would have called him John on the BC. Then it suddenly seemed that every little boy was called Jack and just Jack.

I actually know 3 sets of boy/girl siblings who have a Jack and an Ellie. For a while it seemed that every new baby girl we were introduced to was called, Ellie. My 9yr old has 3 in his class too.

LadyLech Sat 03-Aug-13 17:03:36

My daughter is a Kitty. She is almost 7. On her birth certificate, is Katherine.

My DD has already decided that when she's older she wants to be a Katherine, because she thinks Kitty is too babyish. She's happy with it now, whilst she's a little girl but wants a more grown up name for when she's older.

Her name, her choice. That's the benefit of having birth certificate names grin.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 17:12:09

Oh I so wish we'd used Katherine instead of Catherine. She does get a little frustrated that her nn and her actual name begin with different letters. Though I suppose that's no different to, Bob, Ned or Lottie but still.

sleepingbeautiful Sat 03-Aug-13 18:28:03

OP, I would take the person seriously if they seemed competent at whatever they were doing. I might think someone has a nice name, a weird name, a horrible name etc, but that has no impact on their characteristics or abilities. Sweeping judgements based on name say negative things about the mental competence of the judge, not the female pilot named Kitty.

Viviennemary Sat 03-Aug-13 18:36:24

I think your Mum has a point. Why not call a child Kathleen or similar if you like Kitty and just leave the Kitty for the shortname. But not Kitty, Dotty and so on for the name. Posy is a bit cutesie too. Like it or not people are judged by their names.

ithaka Sat 03-Aug-13 18:59:36

It is personal choice and aspiration. I didn't want to give my daughters' cutesy twee girly names because I didn't want to think of them becoming cutesy twee girly women. So I suppose I am inflicting my values on them, but it seemed to me sensible to choose a name with a certain gravitas as it is hard enough for women to be taken seriously as it is.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 03-Aug-13 19:21:33

I agree with your mother.

curlew Sat 03-Aug-13 19:26:10

It's all about giving them choices. If Daisy's full name is Margaret, or Betsy's Elizabeth, they can choose rather than having cutesy imposed from birth.

SunnyIntervals Sat 03-Aug-13 19:28:04

No, tbh.

I have a really talented colleague with one of these names. It definitely impacts how seriously she is taken by people that haven't met her - they expect girlie, ditsy person. Many of us have commented she doesn't suit her name smile

SunnyIntervals Sat 03-Aug-13 19:31:05

I would go for:

Catherine nn Kitty
Dora nn Dotty
Mary nn Polly

Polyethyl Sat 03-Aug-13 19:31:47

Your mother's right.
I know friends witb girly babyish names who have had to deal with assumptions about their intelligence and competence. Don't set your daughter up to be trivialised.

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 19:32:23

OP just tell your mother to mind her own business, she had her baby naming opportunity when she gave birth to you.

Don't give her any more ammunition, announce the name when the child is born and don't entertain any debate.

MiaowTheCat Sat 03-Aug-13 19:42:32

I agree with your mother - it's not so much the grown woman thing - but the arkward teenager who might really struggle with no longer being cutesy... I think giving a cutesy diminutive but with a more conventional birth certificate name is always the way to go.

CheeseFondueRocks Sat 03-Aug-13 19:52:18

No, I wouldn't be able to take a woman with any of these names seriously. Maybe after a while of having got to know them. They're nicknames. I'd go for something like Katherine and then call her Kitty wile young. This gives her the chance to start using a more grown-up name later on if she so wishes.

CheeseFondueRocks Sat 03-Aug-13 19:53:52

And yy to aspirations. That's so true. So many assumptions are being made about people due to their names.

WetGrass Sat 03-Aug-13 20:00:33

English lacks the tu/vous linguistic construct (that most languages have) which distinguishes your close friends and family from the wider world.

A nickname is meant to perform the same function: dual identities for your soft, intimate self and your formal, serious self. I think it is a healthy separation of public and private: Matilda had a bad day in her stressfull job; Tilly comes home to a cuddle from her family.

It might be because I come from a culture where tu/vous is respected - but I get creeped out by the false intimacy of my GP saying " Look, Sammy, you've got haemorrhoids because you're overweight" or my bank manager saying "So, Suzie, have you thought how your family would manage if you died suddenly" (obv not my real names - but true scenarios).

squoosh Sat 03-Aug-13 20:02:21

Oh WetGrass now I'm concerned for your bum and your bank balance. wink

WetGrass Sat 03-Aug-13 20:10:23

grin

The point was - I really hated that they'd obviously both been to the same school of communication - which taught them to drop the persons name into every sentence.

I would have felt more resilient dealing with tough talking as Miss Grass - or even Weterrika Ivanovna.

LucyTheLittlestLioness Sat 03-Aug-13 20:25:29

I am with your mum.

I think a lot of people will, rightly or wrongly, make sweeping generalisations based upon names.

Although clearly there will be lots of adults with these cutesy names in the future, it does not necessarily mean they will be perceived in a positive way. Some of these cutesy names will be the equivalent of names like Tracey or Wayne in the future. So best to have a longer, more classic name as the name on the birth certificate and then at least they have another name to fall back on.

Ohhelpohnoitsa Sat 03-Aug-13 20:31:40

not directly answering your question but in one class I teach EVERY girl except two are these names. poppy libby izzy tabby ellie etc etc etc. evenso they all have "proper" names in the register. Of course choose the names you like but mostly they are derivitives of a more formal name. use that too.

Spero Sat 03-Aug-13 20:32:52

I agree with your mother. I hate cutesy fluffy names being imposed on babies when you have no idea who or what they will grow up to be.

A cute nickname for home use is one thing but having Milly Molly Fluffy Princess Whatever on birth certificate is another.

scottishmummy Sat 03-Aug-13 20:38:01

Dotty,is too cutesy as a name.too twee.kitty I think here,here kitty cat
I'm no fan of cutesy diminutive names
I think pick name,tell no one til birth.that way he just got to suck it up

rosyryan Sat 03-Aug-13 22:05:38

Sorry, I'm on Team Mum as well.

Great post WetGrass.

Bowlersarm Sat 03-Aug-13 23:18:07

I don't get WetGrass post actually. WetGrass is it because you don't like the names Sammy and Suzie that you wouldn't want your GP and Bank Manager to use them, and it would be alright if the names were Helen and Sarah.?

Or do you just want them to call you Ms WetGrass and not use a first name at all?

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 03-Aug-13 23:34:56

Bowlers

Wetgrass is explaining that in most countries people have a formal name and then family nicknames. The two do not mix.

Hence the whole Russian Natalya/Nataly/Nastasha thing (can't remember which is what, my sil is Russian with the above name).

LynetteScavo Sat 03-Aug-13 23:44:06

Well, I think women with cutesy names can be jsut as successful as the Phillipas and Catherines, but I'm old fashioned and would go with teh long name on the birth certificate.

For some reason, I particularly dislike boys being called Bobby/Alfie as their actual name, although I have no idea why. confused

Shrugged Sat 03-Aug-13 23:46:15

Your mother is being ridiculous. As others have said, these names are now so common that the next generation of politicians, judges, accountants, journalists will contain many women with those names. They will be common enough to appear on multiple CVs on every job search. It's nonsense to imagine a scattering of poor, passed over Lolas and Poppys and Daisys being spurned while the Margarets and Emmas get the jobs. Ellie and Rosie etc, like it or not, are just going to be what women are called.

WetGrass Sun 04-Aug-13 00:17:39

Alis is spot on - it's a Russian thing. It's why people find it so hard to keep track of the characters in War and Peace.

So a bailiff would use "Madame Grass"
A colleague would use "Wetty'anna Ivanovna"
A friend would use "Wet"
My family would use a diminutive like "Wet-inka" or "Wet-asha"

So imagine if you made the news for something unpleasant - every headline shouting "Wet is a nasty scumbag. Lock up Wet and throw away the key" . You go home for your tea - someone says 'pass the salt Wet' - and everyone shudders (because Wet is a lowlife scumbag according to all reports). If you have a special name that friends use, then that is protective - and helps signal the boundaries of intimacy.

The example is Russian - but nicknames are a universal phenomenon, for precisely the reason of marking out privileged intimates. I think it's a bit mean to steal someone's chance to have a nice nickname, when there are no consequences to having a spare formal name on a birth certificate!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 00:23:15

Wet I'm glad I got the gist of it right, would be embarrassing given sil has explained it! smile

I can't for the life of me remember which way round her names go. I know the one I,dp and bil call her must be the family nickname. But after that I'm not so hot at keeping track. blush

formicadinosaur Sun 04-Aug-13 00:30:41

Nell with nick name nelly is fab. And nell seems quite serious GP wise!!. Polly is quite a well to do name. Kitty is usually short fort Katherine or katie but is fine on its own. Posy is very sweet. Dotty could be a nick name for Lottie??

squoosh Sun 04-Aug-13 00:38:25

Things were certainly serious for Little Nell.

WetGrass Sun 04-Aug-13 00:39:14

You also lose most of your namesakes committing straight to a nickname.

Dotty is cute - but Dorothy Parker is inspiring - and you can have both at the stroke of a pen!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 00:55:26

Nell is a nickname for Helen,Eleanor or Cornelia.

sweetiepie1979 Sun 04-Aug-13 01:00:58

I'm with your mum sorry. I think the Daisy's and Poppy's are so cute for babies but even as teenagers I think it sounds odd. I teach in an all girls private school and my student daisy applied for accountancy she felt funny about her name,. I also had a pansy who applied for law and was worried about her name and not been taken seriously. I really liked Maisie when expecting dd1 but just couldnt bring myself to do it. I couldn't imagine her in a high powered job been taking seriously with a name like that. Now I'm expecting again struggling with boys names. I like Noah cute for a little boy but not a 45 year old man! Especially if he put on lots of weight 45 year old oversight bloke called Noah -odd!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 01:03:38

Noah is an ancient/biblical sweetie same as Matthew,John, Luke etc.

Noah has always been well used in the Jewish community I believe.

Twirlyhot Sun 04-Aug-13 01:05:12

Again, most of the examples of women using those names are women who have chosen to use those shortened forms of their given name.

sweetiepie1979 Sun 04-Aug-13 01:09:08

I know this alis but it's a cutesy name now.

DifferentNow Sun 04-Aug-13 01:28:36

Names are subjective. My DD is called Posy and I've never considered it 'cutesy'. To me, it's feminine and beautiful.

That anyone with a modicum of intelligence would admit to judging her one day or be so ignorant as to question her ability or suggest that she has somehow been disadvantaged because of the name we've chosen for her blows my mind. It's just a (IMO fabulous) name. Get a fucking grip people.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 01:35:18

Well imo I don't think such names are so. We are all entitled to our opinions.

The whole point of this forum is to garner opinions is it not?

Yeah, this whole topic pisses me off. One of my sons' first name on his bc is Buddy. It's not his nickname, it's his first name. He has middle names which he could probably use if he so wished when a bit older, but he seems perfectly happy so far. I have every confidence that he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do - whether that be law, following me into the police force, boxing, accountancy, physiotherapy, whatever. As long as he's prepared to work hard for it, I doubt anyone with a modicum of intelligence will discriminate against him because of his first name. It's just a shame to see so many people on here who would.

mathanxiety Sun 04-Aug-13 02:09:45

I don't care whether a name would sound good after Doctor or Judge -- there are people from many different ethnic backgrounds in many professions and therefore that sort of consideration is immaterial. You could be treated by an awe inspiring doctor whose name was the Hindi equivalent of Tiffani or Kayden and never know it. What would hold me back would be an image of someone aged 49 in an average job, dealing with teenage kids and with a bit of a spare tyre and the start of bingo wings -- how would the name Daisy suit that woman?

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 02:09:58

Name discrimination is very real. Sorry to disappoint you but studies have demonstrated this.

And HR (usually responsible for hiring) is generally staffed with an educated bunch.

I'm pretty intelligent myself (fact not a "boast) and whilst I don't judge per se, nickname style names aren't my thing at all.

Sorry if it offends you that people don't like your child's name.

mathanxiety Sun 04-Aug-13 02:11:15

Noah in the bible lived to age 400 or even longer allegedly..

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 02:11:58

Also -

In an employment basis people see CV's first. So names do matter.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 02:13:09

math

My point was it's not a new name.

I am far from religious. Biblical is just another way of "old" imo.

justanuthermanicmumsday Sun 04-Aug-13 02:14:50

This thread reminds me of that ex apprentice chick saw a YouTube clip of her suggesting if kids have names like Tyler or charmaine she wouldn't let her kids socialise with them. Most likely they won't do well in school.p. keep ba company use bad language and have a low social status. Wat a biatch. do you know who I'm on about she was on this morning programme.? Funnily she said to geographical or botanical names yet her kids are India and poppy lool

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 02:16:26

People judge names. That was a fact long before Katie Hopkins mentioned it. There are studies about it. Google is wonderful, check it out.

Well I'm just grateful that no one discriminated against my 'twee' name, and the people I deal with never seem to give to fucks either, they're either just appreciative of the help or are going to fucking despise me anyway whether my name was Elizabeth, phoebe or rainbow.

Funnily enough, the only 'adverse' reaction I've had in rl to my sons name is to ask if its his real name or a nn. It's only on mumsnet that its scoffed at so much hmm

*two fucks, sorry, brain fail.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 02:29:30

It's late (or indeed early) Lil brain fail is understandable!

squoosh Sun 04-Aug-13 03:08:19

I think people on this thread are just being deliberately obtuse. These cutsey names, whether you like them or not (they're certainly not to my taste) on a baby in 2013 will be common or garden on an adult in 2033. They will not even garner a raised eyebrow.

If people listened to advice on MN they would only call their daughters Harriet or Elizabeth, both of which I think are quite unattractive names. However, I would not give a fig if a doctor treating me was called Harriet, Elizabeth, Posy or Peaches Honey Tallulah Glitter Blossom, the fact would remain they're a qualified doctor and presumably they know what they're doing.

Take the stick out of your arses people, the world has changed. The snidey comments on this thread are quite depressing.

moreyear Sun 04-Aug-13 03:38:31

Who knew Mumsnet had so many Katie Hopkins supporters?

ChubbyKitty Sun 04-Aug-13 03:40:56

My name is Fredi.

Ends with an -y sound but no one thinks I'm ditzy or unprofessional.

They think I'm a manhmm

SunnyIntervals Sun 04-Aug-13 06:39:15

The thing is, fewer people from the most privileged groups are using shortened names like that on bc. So many of those applying to be eg dr or lawyer willl have more traditional names. Here are the telegraph's trends:

the-orangery.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/telegraph-2012-first-name-top-10s.html?m=1

So only 'the most privileged groups' will be applying to study law/medicine etc? Or graduate in these subjects and be applying for jobs/placements? Really?

SunnyIntervals Sun 04-Aug-13 06:53:16
PigOnStilts Sun 04-Aug-13 07:02:26

I wouldn't do it because these little names will be very dating in a few years ..slightly Stronger names like Gillian, Caroline, Harriet will be the next wave.

KateCroydon Sun 04-Aug-13 07:49:40

LilBlondPessimist

The professions are increasingly dominated by people with well-off backgrounds. This is not a good thing, but it is a thing:
http://www.bris.ac.uk/cmpo/publications/other/socialmobility.pdf

glendatheveryexcitedwitch Sun 04-Aug-13 08:16:18

How sad that many people don't name their children the names they like just in case it's too twee - there is far too many baby name threads with 'I would have named ds/dd Luna/Ptolemy/Gaylord but not brave enough' wtf? I don't care if my children are lawyers/doctors/bin men/actors as long as they are happy and confident. All 3 of my children have not so common twee names - the last dd being a Dottie and I get so many lovely comments on all of their names. All 3 have 2 middle names and if they do become a doctor and feel they're not taken seriously because of their name (doubt that would ever happen as we live in the 21st century) then there's always deed poll. Until then they just lap up all the comments and know that mummy was brave enough to give them names that stand out against the crowd of Jacks/Ellies/Rubys/Alfies

Snog Sun 04-Aug-13 08:26:38

i was given a diminutive name in the late '60s when it was less common to do this.
the only issue i ever have is that some people presumptuously call me by the name for which my name is a common nickname and teachers especially had trouble accepting that the long version didnt appear on my birth certificate and wasnt my name...

a slight annoyance in this regard but otherwise its been fine.

Welovegrapes Sun 04-Aug-13 08:45:36

Glenda tbh no one is going to say something to your face! I know a Dotti (dd of a colleague) and so many people in our have said they are hmm about the name and think it is awful.

curlew Sun 04-Aug-13 08:48:58

"Until then they just lap up all the comments and know that mummy was brave enough to give them names that stand out against the crowd of Jacks/Ellies/Rubys/Alfies"

Oh yes, incredibly "brave"!

LynetteScavo Sun 04-Aug-13 09:05:13

There's nothing brave about giving your child a name you really like.

If so, I was "brave" when naming DS with a name outside the top 100...then loads of other people copied me, and suddenly I did't look so brave any more. grin Still love the name though....

I actually think I was braver with my other DS, going for a traditional name knowing there would very likely be another in the same class, and never shortening it.

Barbeasty Sun 04-Aug-13 09:16:03

Your mum won't be treated by Dr Posy, she'll be treated by Dr Smith. And the burglary will be attended by PC Smith.

MPs are at great pains to be informal- Ed Balls, Tony Blair, call me Dave Cameron.

Personally I prefer a full name on the birth certificate, and I like traditional names, but I'm not naming your daughter. Go with what you like and maybe use someone else as a sounding board.

Or tell your mum you've decided on something outrageous so that Posy etc seem like a good option!

LondonMother Sun 04-Aug-13 09:18:44

Dottie to me suggests scatty, ditzy, eccentric and possibly outright mad. Not the connotations I'd have wanted my daughter's name to have.

Onesleeptillwembley Sun 04-Aug-13 09:23:26

Brave? Saddling a poor child with Dottie? Wtf is brave about that? What's brave about any name choice for another person? Do you understand what the word brave means? hmm

It's easy to be downright nasty about someone else's child's name when you're an anonymous forum member.

You do realise you're talking about someone's actual child, no?

curlew Sun 04-Aug-13 09:56:45

"You do realise you're talking about someone's actual child, no?"

Nope- wer're talking about that child's mother's choice of language!

"Dottie to me suggests scatty, ditzy, eccentric and possibly outright mad."

"Saddling a poor child with Dottie?"

I'd say this is definitely the child's name being slated.

Yika Sun 04-Aug-13 10:16:02

I agree with those who say that diminutive frilly names will be quite the norm among this peer group when they grow up. There has always been a smattering of this type of name anyway - it's not like they are way out there. Some of the ones you mention sound perfectly serious and grown up to me (Kitty, Polly). I particularly dislike the suggestion of giving a totally different, stodgy birth certificate name and then calling the child a totally different sounding nickname. Margaret-Daisy -eh? Josephine-Posy - wot? I know that technically the one is derived from the other but if you like Daisy, just give the name Daisy! If the child doesn't like it they can go by another or develop their own nickname. FWIW my great grandmother was Helena, nn Nelly. My great-aunt was Nellie, nn Nan. So even shorter names can get their own nickname.

I personally prefer more grown-up sounding names but only if you are actually going to use them day to day, otherwise what's the point?

WetGrass Sun 04-Aug-13 10:22:35

hmm it is not slating a name to point out its meaning.

Not to be a pedant, but the little girl's name is Dottie, not dotty.

WetGrass Sun 04-Aug-13 10:37:46

It's a homophone - so will have the same associations.

Chardonae is still named after white wine and Foxx is still a ginger scavenger.

Onesleeptillwembley Sun 04-Aug-13 10:38:25

No, it's the name the mother considers 'brave' and, as said by curlew, the mothers ridiculous (my addition) choice of language.

CornflowerB Sun 04-Aug-13 10:41:24

I have a name like Susan on my birth cert, but since birth I have been called Susie by my parents. But the world falls into three camps : those with an issue with shortened names who insist on calling me Susan, those who can't do as they're asked/ don't care about my wishes/ think they're cool who call me Sue, and finally the reasonable people who just call me the name I ask them to call me: Susie. I have called my daughters really short names without diminutives. I can see that the Russian system probably works in Russia but that is not the culture in this part of the world. I find it really odd that people would presume to change someone's name when they have been introducesd as for example, Susie. When people do it to me, especially when they insist on using the longer version I feel that they are implying that parents have done something wrong. In fact one of my elderly in laws has actually said this. Mind you, he insists on calling his grand children by their full names when the parents have asked for them to be called by the diminutives which causes all sorts of upset.
I think OP if you are very keen on the names you mentio, I would put the long name on the birth cert and use the diminutive at home but make it very clear to the child that they have a longer version that will also be used formally. No one explained this to me as a child which may be why I find it difficult.
Also don't tell your mother, or any one else anything. Just present them with a fair accompli. But be prepared for them to tread all over it. IMO names that cannot be shortened or lengthened are the way to go.

CornflowerB Sun 04-Aug-13 10:42:58

Is the way to go!

sweetiepie1979 Sun 04-Aug-13 10:46:36

What are you thinking now OP?

Onesleeptillwembley Sun 04-Aug-13 10:46:52

cornflower people using a different name or diminutive to the one you introduced yourself with is plain rude! I hope you pull them up on it!

CornflowerB Sun 04-Aug-13 10:53:21

I do with the lengthening. But the shortening is v difficult because it's actually people very close to me - I think they all got it from each other and I didn't really notice til it got to the stage where they were doing it all the time. It seems kind of petty to pick them up on it now. I'll probably just explode and yell at them one day, which is really not the way to go...

DifferentNow Sun 04-Aug-13 11:14:00

It doesn't offend me Alis. What I call my children might not be your cup of tea and likewise. What does offend me is bigoted views in any capacity.

I think you can use a 'cute, girly' name that's still classic and strong.

Holly a good example maybe?

Welovegrapes Sun 04-Aug-13 11:27:21

I think if you want to be 'brave' on behalf of your child eg I met a child called Laurie-Blue, then at least be honest with yourself about the hmm hmm they will get

elQuintoConyo Sun 04-Aug-13 11:35:46

I give you Pixie McKenna from Embarassing Bodies.
I don't thnk anything differently of someone because of their name, it's just a name.
If my lawyer is called Mitzi Smith or Barry Fife, I don't think, 'bloody daft name, can't take you seriously/awful old fashioned name, bet you're a stick in the mud'.
Bollocks. Call your kids what you want.
And don't get me started on 'Kathleen on birth certificate, Kitty for everyday' absolute nonsense.

Rant over grin

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 11:40:48

Do you mean Bernadette Ann? she chooses to use Pixie. Her parents didn't give her no other option!

curlew Sun 04-Aug-13 11:42:09

Pixie McKenna? Do you mean Bernadette?

Stateofgrace Sun 04-Aug-13 11:50:50

I'm thinking I've started a turf war!! confused
I was honestly not trying to be provocative, perhaps a little naively in the wake of the Katie Collins debacle...

But I do take all comments on board. It seems that if I am reading right, about 80% of you think it's a bad idea and dd would need something more formal on BC.

Like I said before, I do think you should be able to name your child the name you love, but I am not keen on deliberately disadvantaging a child because Mummy wanted a "cute princess" name (direct quote from DM) hmm

That said, Posy is still my absolute favourite name. I just wanted to stay out of the whole area of 'generic ''acceptable'' first name' then use the name you love for middle name and have that as given name... does that pose a new set of problems for poor DD?

My mum called me just this morning - one of her friend's daughters has just had a baby and called him Bear.... I could sense the hen's arse mouth she was doing from 50 miles away... grin

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 11:54:41

Can Posy a nn for another name OP.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 11:56:10

Sorry that looks like terrible grammar. I'll try again.

Can Posy be a nn for another name, OP?

Or is it purely a name in it's on right?

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 11:59:55

I think some parents are very selfish. Bear is going to have to deal with a lot of crap over the years because of his name. Yes, all names carry the potential for teasing, but some are the equivalent of pasting a target on the child's back.

sonlypuppyfat Sun 04-Aug-13 12:02:43

Bear is truely awful he has to introduce himself as that for the rest of his life poor little sod

Stateofgrace Sun 04-Aug-13 12:05:44

Bowlers, I think that is quite subjective and you would get people giving you both answers.
Yes, it can be a name in its own right, in that I know of children with the name, but I think it's fair to say that it is usually a nickname for something else, i.e. Josephine / Rosemary....

Neither of those names do anything for me personally.

Stateofgrace, please tell me you said "Oooh, Bear, that's lovely. I wonder if it would work for a girl?" grin

Personally I would always give a child the longer name on the bc, but not because they "wouldn't be taken seriously" with the shorter name -- just because they are individuals and I'd like them to have choices when they grow up. There can be practical considerations in future that you haven't considered, too. One of my brothers was always know by the short form of his name growing up; as an adult he spent several years living and working in a country where the short form was a common word so didn't really work as a name and he had the long form to fall back on. Similarly the showjumper Pippa Funnell reverted to Philippa for the Athens Olympics because "Pippa" is Greek for blowjob.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 12:12:00

I think you should have a cunning plan,,OP.

Tell your DM how much you like the name 'Bear' now she's put it in your mind, and tell her your favourite girls names are Princess or Lulu-Trixibelle. She will then be truly delighted to meet her new GC Kitty, or Posy, or Lola.

Stateofgrace Sun 04-Aug-13 12:16:29

snigger I did say ''we thought about that for a boy, too''.

The silence was deafening...

LynetteScavo Sun 04-Aug-13 12:27:47

Bear is a truly fantastic name for a boy.

StrangeGlue Sun 04-Aug-13 12:28:03

Personally I'd go down the road of giving the baby a full version of the name but always using the nickname. E.g delores but always called Lola

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 12:37:56

There are lots of names I'm not fond of. Bear is the only name I've ever heard that has made me thought the registrar should refuse to record it.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 12:39:11

The poor sod will be 45 and still have people burst out laughing when he introduces himself.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 04-Aug-13 12:46:49

What Twirly said.

Though I suppose Lama or Muskrat would get a tougher time in the playground than Bear. Just about.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 12:51:03

I'm not sure I do agree with Twirly.

I bet there aren't many people who would know, or care, whether Bear Grylls is using his given name or a nickname.

He's seems a burly grown-up who's name suits him. I doubt many people burst out laughing when he's introduced/introduces himself.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 12:54:35

He has chosen to use that. It fits the fictional image of him as a rugged, at one with the elements type. He's not an accountant.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 12:56:55

Well, there are a lot if occupations that aren't in accountancy.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:02:04

Yes there are. Bear the quantity surveyor, Bear the nurse, Bear the retail manager, Bear the customer service call centre worker, Bear the estate agent, Bear the maths teacher...

squoosh Sun 04-Aug-13 13:04:10

Now you get it! In 30 years time there will be nurses/shop workers/teachers/estate agents called all manner of names that you deem strange.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:06:14

Bear will still be funny. But not for Bear.

One of my friends' eldest son is named Bear. It suits him. No one has burst out laughing yet when he's been introduced. But then thankfully the people he has met so far don't appear to have been ignoramuses.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:09:46

I feel sorry for him. His parents are idiots.

PrincessScrumpy Sun 04-Aug-13 13:11:03

Well I have a Kitty - not nn as it's a 16th century name in is own right and she was named after my great aunt. She's 2 so not sure of her job prospects yet but we are a high achieving family so don't see why she will be anything else due to her name. The other name we considered was Polly - the only other Polly I know is a barrister.
i've never had a negative comment about her name and it really suits her - classic but not common. All or girls names have literary connections - Kitty being in pride and prejudice.
Go for a name you love and can imagine saying.

Afraid you're not coming across as so mature yourself twirly.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:13:35

Bear makes every other name mentioned on this thread seem utterly beyond criticism. The names in the OP are all of a certain style. They're all names though.

Oh and he doesn't need your pity, thanks anyway.

And by the very fact that several people are actually named it, so is Bear.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:15:55

It's such a selfish thing for a parent to do. Why would you hand a mill stone like that round your child's neck? It even makes Tiger sound reasonable because you don't have the homophone issue.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:17:39

Hopefully his parents have the money and/or connections to make it a non issue.

You do understand that homophones have the same pronunciation but different meanings?

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:21:01

grin

It's only people with attitudes such as yours who make it an issue.

One of my sons is named Buddy. You'd have a field day with that I'm sure.

Twirlyhottoo Sun 04-Aug-13 13:26:43

Are you Jamie Oliver? His child is Buddy Bear.

edam Sun 04-Aug-13 13:27:48

Your mother would never know Doctor surname was called Posy, would she?

All those names do sound cute for smaller people, but I'd give your baby the formal versions on the birth certificate in case they want something more serious when they grow up. E.g. Katie/Katherine. If you just give them the shortened version, they don't have the same flexibility.

No, although I wish I had his cooking skills (and bank balance). My son (one of four) is Buddy, my mates eldest is Bear. smile

edam Sun 04-Aug-13 13:30:46

Btw, a registrar told me she gets lots of names with crayzee cr8tive spelllings these days, but the funniest one was when a father told her he wanted to call his son a word she'd never heard before. She asked him how to spell it - and the father stripped his T-shirt off to show her his tattoo! Seems even the father didn't know... (She refused to tell me the name, though, spoilsport.)

PrincessScrumpy Sun 04-Aug-13 13:33:46

Earl Spencer (princess Diana's brother) has a daughter called Kitty. Also I think one of Camilla's grand daughters is Lola. Both seem to be the proper names not nn (according to google).
after comments on here I was all prepared to defend or choice of names but actually never had to.
I think people get used to names, so people who know my family will be used to the name Kitty and it will be normal to them.
Dd has a Dolly in her class - lovely girl so I'd never look at her and think she won't amount to much. Mind you I'm a girlie woman and proud - not sure why being girlie is a negative thing. I like pink and sparkly things, but also had a senior management role before having children. Both can go together.

sonlypuppyfat Sun 04-Aug-13 13:35:36

I'm with you twirly why on earth give your child such a silly silly name. Can you imagine him with a part time job somewhere and his boss shouting Bear fill those cans up. Not all kids grow up with famous parents.

Mumzy Sun 04-Aug-13 13:36:00

Dr Dotty Smith <eer no I don't think so>
Dr Dorothy Smith < yes I could take her seriously>
Your Honour Daisy Brown - < stifles a grin>
Professor Teddy green<Nah>

We had a Pinki and Dimple apply for a recent position and yes we did grin

RatherBeOnThePiste Sun 04-Aug-13 13:40:55

Not taking any of this personally, but had my 14 year old DS been a girl he was to be Kitty <beams>

JustinBsMum Sun 04-Aug-13 13:42:56

Well, I was with the 'it doesn't matter child grows into their name' believers until someone mentioned CVs or, say, perhaps, their Physics Dissertation for a Masters in Astrophysics. Because there is evidence of racism in the marking system, due to the candidates name, so there could also be a small disadvantage if you had a ditsy name.

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 13:45:12

Thank God people are legally allowed to change their names, that's all I'm saying grin

I've come across a Tiger, a Lion, a Prince and even a Tinkerbell.

What is wrong with some parents?? grin

Spink Sun 04-Aug-13 13:48:53

Our dd is Rosie, she is 5. Occasionally instead she likes us to call her 'Rose', sometimes 'Ro'.

She has a choice in term of name variants even tho it is Rosie on her birth cert.

I don't understand why people seem to think you can choose to call yourself 'Rosie' if you're a 'Rose' but not vice versa.

Passmethecrisps Sun 04-Aug-13 13:50:06

My family doctor growing up was called Donald. Donald Duck. That is true.

People will do the jobs they so because they have the skills and qualities to do them. Not because they are called something which someone 25 years ago deemed appropriate

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:00:32

I'm actually speechless grin

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:01:16

Especially as Doctors are nicknamed "Quacks" - it is too funny grin

Passmethecrisps Sun 04-Aug-13 14:02:28

It is honestly true. Donald was a family name from long before the cartoon character.

He took it all in good humour

MiaowTheCat Sun 04-Aug-13 14:02:48

I just think it's sheer vanity on behalf of the parents - I want to be seen to be quirky and unique, I want all my friends to see that I'm quirky and creative... with minimal thought to the child who you're labelling for their entire life. Give them the option of being mundane OR quirky FFS!

I would have bloody hated being saddled with my family-given nickname as my proper name - I loathed it as a teenager and finally obliterated it from use after about a decade of objecting to it.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 14:04:35

Twirly, I hope you're not so dismissive in all areas of your life. You're coming across as very narrow minded.

Welovegrapes Sun 04-Aug-13 14:15:37

Imagine this thread in 1973:

Several posters: I've called my dc moonbeam, zowie, raindrop, earth. My mum says this is terrible. But everyone will have names like this later...

Not that many mps called Moonunit, I don't think smile

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:16:36

I agree with Twirly!

Bear??? Seriously??

How can anyone think it is a good idea to call a child that??? grin

Why can't parents think of the potential for bullying when naming children? Kids at school can be extremely cruel and bullying can have a long standing and damaging effect on the child for the rest of their life - any parent who willingly makes their child a target is beyond my understanding.

There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, and Pepper had chosen the other one

-- Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

squoosh Sun 04-Aug-13 14:21:24

Welovegrapes compare baby naming statistics from 1973 to the statistics from 2013 and you will see that these days a far wider range of names are used. It's a fact. smile

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:24:07

Only because people are making up and creating thousands of crappy 'names' grin

People are just naming their children after days, months, seasons, weather types, animals and other ridiculous things grin

What happened to just giving children normal names?? grin

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 14:26:22

Writerwannabe83

Your example doesn't make sense at all. Moonbeam, Rainbow etc were baby names used probably something like one in 500,000. They were never going to be popular.

Today everybody's bashing what they call 'cutesie' names as not being grown up enough for the world of work. But they are very popular.

Last year Lily, Ruby, Evie, Poppy, Daisy, Millie, Lola, Maisie, Molly were all top 30 names. Do you really think that in 25/30 years time all these girls will be destined to work in supermarkets or as cleaners, and these particukar girls won't be the doctors, lawyers, accountants of the future?

Along with the Alfie's and Charlie's, who won't be capable of sitting their A levels?

Name prejudice, at it's best.

Bowlersarm Sun 04-Aug-13 14:28:15

Oh sorry writer that was obviously aimed at welovegrapes

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:32:18

bowler Where did I say I don't like cutesie names? I like every single one you listed.

It is names like Bear, Rainbow, Moondance, Tuesday, Apple, Thunder, Winter etc that I have a problem with grin

They are in a totally different league to cutesie names!!

Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Aug-13 14:33:02

Just saw your post wasn't aimed at me, haha smile

Slavetothechild Sun 04-Aug-13 15:25:16

We have 2 daughters with names listed here sad one is studing art and the other science at unis !!!!! Dont judge people by their names they can be any thing they want smile also my best friend is a male Jamie its a great name for a boy

Mumzy Sun 04-Aug-13 15:27:40

I honestly think some parents when coming up with a name for a child do not see beyond the baby they have in front of them. An aquaintance called her son Teddy and now he's 6 is starting to have the mick taken out of him at school for his name. Its only now its dawned on her that she could have called him Edward and used Teddy as a NN ans saved him all this grief

CornflowerB Sun 04-Aug-13 18:46:11

Is Emily regarded as 'cutsie'?

I would class Emily as sweet and feminine but classic and a 'proper name'. Quite a lot of them around though!

mathanxiety Sun 04-Aug-13 19:19:40

I don't think it is.

CornflowerB Sun 04-Aug-13 19:41:55

Thanks, that's helpful! It is very popular indeed...

mathanxiety Sun 04-Aug-13 19:44:30

If DS (now 20) had been a girl he would have been Emily. He would have been one of five in his year in school.

maja00 Sun 04-Aug-13 19:53:32

Emily is a full name in it's own right.

Emmie is cutesy.

Mumzy Mon 05-Aug-13 08:02:37

Milly is cutesy

curlew Mon 05-Aug-13 08:16:25

Have a look at births column in the Times. That's where the arrivals of the movers and shakers of the future are announced. Not many Rainbows, Teddys or Kittys there, whatever the children are actually called in their day to day lives.

Mrsindecision Mon 05-Aug-13 09:06:54

If you look at the Telegraph birth announcements, there are actually quite a few Kittys.

sweetiepie1979 Mon 05-Aug-13 09:19:55

Milly/Millie use to nice bit it's the new Sharon/Tracy where I live. As is daisy!

DanceLikeJohnTravoltaNow Mon 05-Aug-13 10:26:01

FairyThunder I think we know the same guy!

squoosh Mon 05-Aug-13 10:34:51

Nope, take a look at the birth announcements in the Telegraph, that's where the real power lies. Teddys and Kittys are at the tamer end of the spectrum there.

Shrugged Mon 05-Aug-13 10:42:44

But writer, what are considered 'normal names' vary wildly across time, place, culture, social class. There's no one standard.

Aoife, Conchobhar or Caoimhin are very ordinary names in Ireland, but are exotic and considered difficult to pronounce by many in the UK. Lots of African kids are called things like Precious, Beautiful or Beloved, and those names are entirely normal in those cultures, but would be considered very strange in the context of mainstream UK naming trends, though kids here are often called names that mean those things in other languages.

We named our son an ordinary Biblical name that wouldn't cause a raised eyebrow on here, or in London, where he was born, but my parents and ILs find it very weird and rather 'look at me', because they'd never heard of anyone called it.

In a similar way, names like Mabel, Violet and Lily have gone from being the names of elderly women, laughably old-fashioned, to the names of today's babies and toddlers. The usage has changed. I think it will be similar with the names people are taking issue with as 'cutesy'. In 20 or 30 years those will just be names like Karen or Nicola, and people will be calling their babies something else.

fl0b0t Mon 05-Aug-13 10:47:33

I'm baffled at how people judge people by their names!
I don't care what my doctor/judge/childrens' teacher is called, as long as they can do their job! All lovely names!

LadyLech Mon 05-Aug-13 10:49:38

But the Telegraph announcements won't tell you what is on the birth certificate. So, even if they say Kitty / Teddy they might well be Katherine and Theodore.

I always announce / introduce my daughter as Kitty, even though she is a Katherine and had I put a birth announcement in the telegraph and if we had wanted her called Kitty, then I would have put that on the birth announcement. My daughter chose her own nickname (Kitty) but she now has that on all her semi official stuff - certificates, forms, school documents etc.

I don't think you can read too much into the telegraph names section for this purpose.

curlew Mon 05-Aug-13 11:59:41

It would be very unlikely that anyone would put an announcement in the Telegraph using the shortened version. Unless they put something like "Katherine Mary (Kitty)"

squoosh Mon 05-Aug-13 12:01:55

A quick squiz at the Telegraph announcements shows me

Lulu, Minnie, Elsie, Freddie, Hatty, Bonny, Monty and Daisy.

Do people really do birth announcements with just the nickname?

Bowlersarm Mon 05-Aug-13 12:03:56

I don't think people do announce nicknames rather than the full name, on the whole. I think your list Squoosh are the movers and shakers of the future.

curlew Mon 05-Aug-13 12:10:52

Telegraph top 50 girls

No Lulus there!

squoosh Mon 05-Aug-13 12:11:07

I have to say Minnie is pretty awful, God forbid she grows up to be a bit plump.

squoosh Mon 05-Aug-13 12:13:28

No, but clearly Poppy, Evie, Molly, Lily and Holly are very popular. Those are the kinds of names the OP was initally asking about.

notso Mon 05-Aug-13 12:27:28

Lots of people announce both full name and nick name though here

Bowlersarm Mon 05-Aug-13 12:36:16

Gah notso now you've given me more time to waste, browsing all this archives! Does it say which newspapers they are taken from anywhere?

Bowlersarm Mon 05-Aug-13 12:37:27

'those' blush

TheCraicDealer Mon 05-Aug-13 13:00:49

BuzzFeed have made a handy list of the best examples of THe Times and Telegraph announcements.

OP, give her a "sunday name". I have a cutesy name that my family and friends use but choose to use my birth-cert name for work because I felt it sounded more professional. It's not a choice everyone would make, but I'm glad I had the option to do it easily and fuss-free. You don't even need to tell your mum!

Onyabike Mon 05-Aug-13 13:08:31

Sound advice from TheCraicDealer.

notso Mon 05-Aug-13 15:48:34

grin bowlers the link I meant to do was this one but now have also wasted ages browsing.
I am particularly interested in Gavin Gary and Nova Star.

Stateofgrace Mon 05-Aug-13 17:37:07

Thanks for more of your thoughts, ladies. I am still a bit torn. Discussed it in depth last night with Himself and have taken Posy off the table sob.

Polly is looking like a strong contender at the moment, the more I say it aloud with her chosen MN (Alice) the more I like it. I don't like Mary, so Polly she shall be, if she indeed, is confused.

FWIW I think Bear is incredibly cool. I agree with any poster who said that in 30 years these names would mostly be common place. BF daughter is called Mia and 18 years ago when she named her, her father said: ''That's a bit show-bizzy isn't it?'' grin

Stateofgrace Mon 05-Aug-13 17:38:06

**BF father, not Mia's father ...confused

LondonMother Mon 05-Aug-13 17:39:18

You're right, State. My nephew is 20 and called Max. Not very common then, two a penny now.

I like Polly!

squoosh Mon 05-Aug-13 17:40:17

For what it's worth my parents think all children should be called Neil or Ruth! But people get used to names very quickly, even opinionated Grannies.

Polyethyl Mon 05-Aug-13 23:49:19

Polly is a superb name.
A high court judge or a prima ballerina - you could be anything with a good name like Polly.

kaosak Tue 06-Aug-13 00:44:47

Trouble is we can't see into the future to see what these babies as adults will a) look like b) do for a living.

Bear Grillis (sp?) is fabulously named because he is a rugged adventurer and looks the part. If he had been weedy and worked behind the counter in the local branch of Lloyds bank it would seem utterly ridiculous to have called him Bear.

We shouldn't but we do judge people (sub-consciously) in that first split second that we hear or see their names. It isn't snobbery, it is forming a very ancient set of rules as to where this person belongs in the scheme of things, much as we might take into account clothes, hairstyle, way somebody talks etc. Not being judgemental, well maybe, but it is a totally involuntary thing that we all do whenever we meet someone.

Honey or Tallulah will not be taken as seriously as Catherine or Sarah - the last two names will just be filed in the 'normal' tray whereas I suspect the other two would be chewed over just that bit more and possibly hesitated over in some circumstances.

Just sayin'

mathanxiety Tue 06-Aug-13 05:11:31

TheCraicDealer I am wondering if Foquett is pronounced as in 'the Foquett residence; the lady of the house speaking'

mathanxiety Tue 06-Aug-13 05:24:32

Arthur John is the given name of a boy who will be known as "Bear" according to Notso's link (first section 'diminutives') and I would guess Arthur John is the one he will be known as when he's older.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Tue 06-Aug-13 05:28:54

Polly put the kettle on..... horrible name

Bear is just ridiculous

What is wrong with George Alexander Louis smile

LucyTheLittlestLioness Tue 06-Aug-13 09:38:40

Bear is in a different league to Kitty, Millie etc.

Bear might suit a chubby toddler or big broad shouldered man, but what if your son grew up to be short and very slightly built?

squoosh Tue 06-Aug-13 10:23:49

What's your name amotherplace?

Stateofgrace Tue 06-Aug-13 17:01:48

It's a shame you think Polly is a horrible name, I think it's pretty (and) inoffensive myself, but then we all like different things, eh? smile

In answer to your question, though, I don't think DD would appreciate being called George Alexander Louis, that might give her more to be teased about than a horrible name like Polly... smile

EstelleGetty Tue 06-Aug-13 17:15:41

I don't think there's anything wrong with Polly - if anything, it sounds quite posh to me, not cutesy.

I don't personally like things like Millie, Emmie, Lola etc but I can't see all the cutie names being a problem in the future because, as has been suggested upthread, that will probably be the norm for a lot of groups of people. Or it won't seem all that odd, at least.

My rule would always be: if it don't sound graceful and dignified, or if there ain't no saint with that name, it's a no go. grin

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 06-Aug-13 19:27:26

I rather like Polly.

Though it is very much linked to Polly Pockets to me, I loved them as a child.

mathanxiety Tue 06-Aug-13 22:00:48

I am with you there Estelle.

curlew Wed 07-Aug-13 00:29:14

Polly is, for reasons that escape me, a nickname for Mary.

Queazy Wed 07-Aug-13 09:37:54

I had no idea that Posy was a name. I've never met a Posy before. I think it's just too cutesy - more a name for a doll or perhaps a bunny rabbit

PennieLane Wed 07-Aug-13 09:46:14

I agree with your mum. It makes me wince at the thought of the current cutesy names in 30 years-this gen's Kylies/Dannis/etc

CharlieBoo Wed 07-Aug-13 09:53:11

I hate hate hate these threads, but as I've said on here before there's going to be an entire generation of Poppy's, Tilly's, Daisy's, Freddie's and Archie's! They WILL be Dr's, lawyers, bus drivers, delivery men, business men, receptionists, nurses, teachers...whether YOU like it or not! FACT

LondonMother Wed 07-Aug-13 12:13:38

Oh the irony of someone calling herself PennieLane railing at cutesy names ending in -ie...

hollyisalovelyname Wed 07-Aug-13 13:01:36

Compared with Apple or Rumer they're grand

Stateofgrace Wed 07-Aug-13 17:20:50

CharlieBoo....and breathe! smile I agree with you totally.

We're 90 percent set on Polly now smile I feel good about Polly. It's not quite Posy, but it's still a lovely, pretty name.

Thanks for all help, ladies smile

Stateofgrace Wed 07-Aug-13 17:21:55

Very smiley today - hmmm, odd for late pregnancy
grin

CruCru Thu 08-Aug-13 18:34:43

Polly is a proper name on its own. I know a high court judge whose daughter (aged 30ish) is called Polly.

CruCru Thu 08-Aug-13 18:35:42

Posy can be a name - but I would probably use Rosalind or Primrose.

BananaHammocks Fri 09-Aug-13 06:15:23

I agree that in 40 years time these will be standard names for 40-somethings and the names won't hold them back but I'm 30 and have lots of friends called Amy, Kelly, Sophie, Katie etc and I still don't think they sound very classy/elegant for a 30 year old woman.

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 08:48:36

Look back in history. The people in the "top jobs" have had names chosen from the same small pool for hundreds of years. I would be amazed if that changed any time soon!

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 10:20:34

Very true. They all had names like James, George, Thomas and John.

It's not that long since women have been getting the 'top jobs' so I don't think little Polly's chances will be scuppered because she has a pretty Victorian name.

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 10:56:56

"Very true. They all had names like James, George, Thomas and John."

They still do!

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 10:59:21

Yes but my point is that there isn't a history of women having top jobs, so Polly will be just fine.

devilinside Fri 09-Aug-13 11:12:43

True, getting a top job has absolutely nothing to do with your name, just from coming from an entitled position where you go to the right schools and Oxbridge. If I wanted a cutesy name, I would choose something I could shorten (that way they can use the full version as an adult)

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 11:19:20

Getting g a "top job" can actually be influenced by your name- research has shown that interviewers are very judgemental about names. There certainly doesn't seem to have been much shift in the type of names that the movers and shakers have and give their children.

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 11:26:55

Yes name prejudice is a very real thing but more likely to adversely affect someone with an 'ethnic' name or a name that is perceived to be working class.

The only Pollys I've encountered have been solidly middle class and unlikely to be hampered by this kind of prejudice. I mean Polly is not a strange or even unusual name, if anything it's very traditional.

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 11:28:51

No, Polly's fine- sorry. Did I sound as if I didn't think it was?

My boss is five years younger than me, I'm 32. She's a real high flier, has numerous degrees and has always had high paying jobs, she's the youngest manager in our company and her given name is Kitty. And that's it.

People have different opinions and if they base a lot of that on names they aren't going to get very far themselves.

I agree with others on here that, these names are going to be very common place for high fliers in the future.

And OP love the name Polly, have known a couple in the past.

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 11:44:11

Sorry, that was my mistake.

I'd be surprised to meet an adult Poppy/Posy/Milly these days but expect the world to be teeming with them in 30 years time or so. So I have faith that the Millys and Tillys and Archies and Alfies of HR departments up and down the land won't bat an eyelid when they see these cutesy names on job applications.

soverylucky Fri 09-Aug-13 12:06:27

yes - in 30 years time these names will be everwhere! I think the traditional names will be very rare even though there were many people of my generation with these names.

I dont think the traditional names will be rare, lots of Georges, Thomas', Williams, Charlottes and Isabelles round here!

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 12:32:33

Ooooh OP you've made Discussion of the Day!

cathpip Fri 09-Aug-13 12:36:44

I'm sort of sat on the fence, my dh would agree with your mum. In his opinion Phillipa looks much more professional on a cv than Pippa, hence why our little pip pop poo's name on her birth certificate is Phillipa!

morethanpotatoprints Fri 09-Aug-13 12:50:12

Polly is fine, but I agree with your mum about dotty. Unfortunately, it is a term given to someone who is a bit scatterbrained, or not very bright. I'm not saying I uphold these sentiments but many people do. This is why I wouldn't call my child a name like this. Pippa is also fine, but I wouldn't choose posy, and Kitty could encourage name calling and cat associations from other children.
It's up to you what you call your dd, it's nobody else's business, but if it were me I'd think about the person, not the baby.
I knew a Kitty once, she was lovely. Very extrovert, unconventional and very fair in her treatment of others.

brightonbythesea Fri 09-Aug-13 13:26:38

I have a 'cutesey' name. I am a barrister, and have been to a top university and now have a good job. I don't feel my name has been a barrier to opportunity, as many on this thread seem to suggest. I find it hard to understand why people cannot imagine 'cutesey' names being successful in 'serious' jobs. This is ridiculous, and of course adults with these names will still do as well as if they happened to have been called Elizabeth, Tabitha, Thomas, James and other names that are considered middle class enough.
I have read many applications for pupillage, and have never discarded a single one of them for having a name that doesn't meet with my approval.

I have a DD called Poppy. Her father and I chose it because we like it and it suits her. I hope and expect that she will be judged on her ability, work ethic and qualifications, not on a name that she did not choose herself.

AidanTheRevengeNinja Fri 09-Aug-13 13:41:21

I have a little girl cutesy name (think along the Posy/Tilly/Honey lines). It does not suit me as, well, I'm not a little girl. It is really, really annoying. I hate introducing myself to new people; I hated my name being read out on the register by each new teacher; it's just one endless source of embarrassment.

No, it did not stop me getting into Cambridge or being a doctor. But it didn't exactly help. I wish my parents had thought it through a bit more (and trust me, they know it grin ).

That said - a lot of the names on this thread eg Polly, Molly, Holly, are perfectly sensible and adult-appropriate. But I think the advice to imagine an adult with the name - actually a wide range of adults, not just the one you picture your child becoming - is sound.

brightonbythesea Fri 09-Aug-13 13:43:05

Aiden I can see you don't like your name which is fair enough, but why didn't it help in terms of you going to Cambridge and being a doctor? If you got in and you were successful then how did your name stop you?

brightonbythesea Fri 09-Aug-13 13:46:53

I just refuse to believe that anybody with half a brain that is reading applications for universities, jobs or training is going to hesitate over an excellent application that happens to be from somebody called Posy or Nellie. If this is the case, then it has passed me by completely and it is very disappointing.

cherrypez Fri 09-Aug-13 13:48:20

Good choice...my dd Polly is nearly 5, absolutely gorgeous and loves the fact that there are songs about 'her'...Miss Polly had a dolly etc. Whoever said her name was horrible should remember that names are subjective, as a pp pointed out.

AidanTheRevengeNinja Fri 09-Aug-13 13:52:43

Ah we cross-posted Brighton - I am clearly more moany than you grin

You're right, I don't think it hindered me in career terms - but I have always been conscious of having to work to overcome the preconception people have when they see my name, before meeting me. "You aren't how we imagined you" is a common one from colleagues and even interviewers (once I've got the job). Which makes me wonder if I would have done as well in a career where preconceptions and image matter more. The NHS has strict equality policies so they wouldn't get away with "eurgh she sounds like a princess, let's not go for her".

Chocolatepup Fri 09-Aug-13 13:55:32

I think you should name her what you like really. She'll find her own way of changing peoples perceptions about her.

My 6'5 rugby playing DH is called Jamie and has never had anyone make comment about it. There are loads of 'em up here in Scotland.

brightonbythesea Fri 09-Aug-13 14:00:46

Perhaps people have (incorrect) preconceptions of cutesy names, I accept but disapprove of this on a general level. However, Aidan the reality is that you were still interviewed, and still appointed so whoever was reading your CV was more interested in everything else about you. As these names gain in popularity, which they are currently doing, even the preconceptions will go as numerous Poppys, Nellies, Honeys and Posys apply for jobs and it becomes less of a novelty.

I think pretty much all organisations, public or otherwise, adhere to strict policies on matters such as equality. On that basis then, the OP should go ahead and call her child whatever she pleases, safe in the knowledge that whatever other people may be thinking, names are not a reason for discrimination in future education or employment!

20wkbaby Fri 09-Aug-13 14:04:09

I have to say purely based on the name I would judge the parents of a Katherine or Elizabeth to be stuffy and unimaginative. I would be as wrong in this assumption as someone who judges a person by their name rather than by their personality or abilities.

I think people are taken seriously if they earn it by treating things in a professional way. Imo a person informs the perception of the name rather than the other way round.

MorelloKiss Fri 09-Aug-13 14:49:45

I have been thinkg about this a lot (being pregnant and all!) and have come to the conclusion that the name we give our baby has to give them the best possible chance of being able to do anything they want.

It needs to be suitable for a CEO of a FTSE100, an actress, a tax inspector an airhostess...whatever she may want

I obviously know a name doesnt preclude you from doing anything you want, but I truly cant imagine a CEO of a Financial Services company called Daisy or Dotty

....

LeBFG Fri 09-Aug-13 14:57:04

I love challenging preconceptions - I think people wear their name. THey end up embodying it. I love soft male names because they counteract pride in certain male characteristics. A strong man (morally) with a soft name is lovely. Also, love the idea of a Posy standing up in a board room challenging assumptions of a downy, subservient woman. Love it.

SunnyIntervals Fri 09-Aug-13 15:02:47

20wk that may be what you think, but iirc Elizabeth is statistically the highest flying female name in terms of the professions, City etc iirc.

CoffeeChocolateWine Fri 09-Aug-13 15:03:34

I totally agree with your mum, sorry.

I HATE cutesy names and I am so very thankful that my parents didn't give me one. I don't like all the Polly, Dolly, Molly, Milly, Tilly names (fine as shortened nicknames) and I don't like all the flower names that are so popular at the moment. I've never heard the name Posy before but I just find it a bit twee. I would have hated to have grown up with a name like that...I like names that have a bit of strength to them. That doesn't mean harsh-sounding names...names can be pretty but still have a bit of strength to them. I actually don't mind the name Lola which you mentioned (although wouldn't be able to shake the Charlie and Lola connection!).

squoosh Fri 09-Aug-13 15:16:04

'Elizabeth is statistically the highest flying female name in terms of the professions, City etc iirc.'

This may well be true but their success isn't due to them being called Elizabeth. More that the name Elizabeth was popular with middle class families who could afford private education thus ensuring their daughters went to good universities, studied for Masters etc. etc.

Posy and Milly's families may have as many resources and as much educational ambition for their daughters as the families of the Elizabeths had for them.

lovesmellingthecoffee Fri 09-Aug-13 15:19:26

Estell 'My rule would always be: if it don't sound graceful and dignified, or if there ain't no saint with that name, it's a no go. '
What do you think about using St Sexburga as a guide to naming your child.

lovesmellingthecoffee Fri 09-Aug-13 15:27:40

My dd and ds names are both high in the telegraph names list, they were fairly out of fashion when we chose them, and to be honest if i'd know how popular they were going to be I would have gone for something different maybe anglo saxon - Aethelred for a boy and Boudicca for a girl type thing. something with a bit of history to it.

spotscotch Fri 09-Aug-13 16:16:53

Whether it be ptolomy/calypso/pretentio or mitzi/buddy bear/trixibelle or destinee rae rae/Demi-Leigh or whatever

I do think that some people, in their quest to be unique or make people think they are oh so educated or quirky, do forget that it is an actual person they are naming. And that this person will have to go through their life saddled with this name, especially if a more conventional alternative has not been offered on the birth certificate. And people who said that their kid is called Zebedee etc and no one ever says anything - well people are generally quite polite in real life , but people will be thinking confused in real life.

spotscotch Fri 09-Aug-13 16:20:04

Having said all that I do inwardly groan when I see another Lily Rose/Amelia Grace birth announcement. Find a happy medium!

Of course my son's name is perfection wink

Notupduffedatpresent Fri 09-Aug-13 16:30:27

I agree with your mum really. I don't thing a name like that would necessarily stop your child from having the career they wanted, but it might present an extra hurdle. However much I don't want to, I suspect that I would (in a professional context) make subconscious assumptions about a solicitor called Fifi or Summer or similar, which that person would then have to overcome. That said some of the names you mention are fine - Polly, for example. Frilly girls names, even as shortenings, are just not my thing - I don't really understand why someone would choose one of these over a strong, capable sounding name for their daughter. But plenty do.

craftycottontail Fri 09-Aug-13 16:48:24

I know a Posy in her early 20s. Other than an initial 'oh!' when I fisrt heard her name it doesn't really make a difference. People's names become who they are, not the other way around.

So I now think of Posy as an pretty, creative, intelligent person because that's what she's like.

lovesmellingthecoffee Fri 09-Aug-13 16:56:59

In the future I can see everybody having a name taken from a short list of bland names and that will truly be awful.

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 17:25:28

"In the future I can see everybody having a name taken from a short list of bland names and that will truly be awful."

really? Why on earth would that happen?

I have a Bear. It isn't his real name though, it's his "at home" name. Thus far we haven't turned heads in the swing park; equally he has a timeless classic actual name that gets used daily by most of the world.

DM has a birth certificate name but only uses the diminutive. Despite her general disapproval of cutesy names she does wish she had just been given the short form.

Anyway I'm firmly in the "call them what you like, but register them with a plainer name" camp. I think the affection behind a nickname is wasted on the general public.

lovesmellingthecoffee Fri 09-Aug-13 17:44:19

Curlew everybody would check their dc's name against a list of high court judges names and only use themgrin

curlew Fri 09-Aug-13 17:53:12

Well, that's a pretty grim idea, but if it stops children having Toodles or Cutiepie on their birth certificates..........

Umicar Fri 09-Aug-13 18:16:20

One of my bosses is called Posy, she is an amazing Doctor.

ringaringarosy Fri 09-Aug-13 19:30:58

Im having a Posy in December!If you like it go for it.

Mumzy Fri 09-Aug-13 19:53:51

Polly seems to be a very popular name for Guardian journalists

1944girl Fri 09-Aug-13 21:21:01

Two of my great uncle's wives were called Polly and Topsy.Polly's real name was Mary, but I don't know if Topsy had a real name or that was her official name.I had another great aunt called Nelly, her real name was Eleanor.

ecofreckle Fri 09-Aug-13 21:25:48

I am 37 with one of the names you mention. I have never thought of it as any sort of barrier (until I just breifly considered it having read your post). One of my bosses in the past couldn't deal with calling me my name so chose a shortened version of it - no idea why. Other than that I've had a successful career thus far and am known in my field by my twee/girlie name and I think it makes me memorable rather than being any sort of hindrance. I have just had a baby myself and have chosen a girlie flower name.....

Maggietess Fri 09-Aug-13 22:14:10

I think it's a really interesting question as I have a name which can be shortened and I like that I use the formal sounding one until I get to know people then gradually it gets shorter and my family call me the very short version.

But... My mum was called a name and the colloquial version of it is a different name (it's like calling a boy John but knowing him as Jack). She finds this a total pita as noone knows her as the original name but it's on all official things so she will introduce herself but then have to explain at the doctors/airport/whatever oh I mean a different name. It drives her mad and she's talking about (at age 60) changing her name to be done with the hassle.

So by all means have a longer name but if it's not obvious the short form is a derivation of it perhaps think again!

CoolStoryBro Sat 10-Aug-13 01:34:45

I haven't read the whole thread but 3 words. Cherie. Frickin'. Blair.

Her stupid name hasn't harmed her in the slightest. I really wish people would just go with names they truly love rather than worrying what a load of random people on the internet (half of whom are bigging themselves up in the first place) think.

MN HATES my daughter's name. I don't give a flying fig. It suits her, it's beautiful and she totally rocks it.

mathanxiety Sat 10-Aug-13 04:18:47

Wrt women having no history of jobs -- There is a precedent for women in the bottom jobs or having no jobs, and in those times the cutesy names were very popular. There were Nellies and Elsies and Biddys working as scullery maids and upstairs there were Evies and Pollys and Mollys. I think that's what puts me off about those names - they come from the time when women's names were lost upon marriage, when they became Mrs. James Bloggs, or when a scullery maid was called Biddy but the head housekeeper was called Mrs Brickshithouse even if she wasn't married because marriage made a woman respectable, not her job.

LeoandBoosmum Sat 10-Aug-13 04:58:18

I agree with your mum to be honest. I quite like cute names but Posy (for me personally) is a step too far. Out of the names you listed I think Nelly (or Nell for short) sounds cute but not OTT. You baby though so you choose smile

LondonMother Sat 10-Aug-13 07:32:22

You're not always safe from bureaucratic hassle even when the shortening is obvious, maggietess! I know a doctor who moved to Australia a few years ago. It took ages to get the visa and his re-registration sorted out and involved presenting all his certificates over and over again. At one point there was a lengthy hold up because some of his certificates were made out to 'Sam Smith' and others to 'Samuel John Smith'. I think he had to get an affidavit sworn that he was Samuel Smith, familiarly known as Sam Smith, before they were accepted. His wife was going through exactly the same procedures but had a much easier time of it, as she was Mary Jones or Mary Elizabeth Jones on everything. It was the abbreviation that threw the spanner in the works.

[Not real names before anybody queries it!]

dashoflime Sat 10-Aug-13 07:35:27

My previous boss was a Candy. Everyone took her seriously. She was a supervising solicitor.

SunnyIntervals Sat 10-Aug-13 07:45:12

Polly Toynbee is Mary Louisa Toynbee on her bc, for the poster who mentioned the Guardian.

Posy Simmonds is Rosemary Elizabeth Simmonds.

They're respected once they hold the respected position but the name bias reported upthread means they are less likely to reach that position in the first place.

That may be utterly shitty but it can't be discounted.

navada Sat 10-Aug-13 08:03:53

Kitty & Dotty are really old names ( short for Katherine & Dorothy ) I really like Kitty. Posy is cute on a baby but a bit embarrassing on a 30 year old, same with Poppy & all the other over the top girly names. Poppy et al. are fine if you end up being a top model or fashion designer, but chancers are you'll end up a slightly overweight ordinary looking shop worker - very few women live up to their cutesy names.

BoffinMum Sat 10-Aug-13 08:55:29

Have you see the Armstrong and Miller sketch about naming babies?

The origins of naming babies

brightonbythesea Sat 10-Aug-13 09:08:58

'They're respected once they hold the respected position but the name bias reported upthread means they are less likely to reach that position in the first place'

Horry what is your evidence for this?

It wasn't my post - several pps have talked about name bias in HR departments and at other stages of application and recruitment. I referred to those posts some of which linked to studies and reports.

I am on a phone and too lazy to find the links myself.

hollyisalovelyname Sat 10-Aug-13 09:20:52

Leoand I hate the name Nelly- reminds me of the rhyme ..'Nelly Kelly broke her belly sliding down a lump of jelly' smile

brightonbythesea Sat 10-Aug-13 09:21:43

Interesting. What a shame that in this day and age people might have trouble getting a job because of what they are called. Why don't we just go the whole hog and judge them on their skin colour, age, religion and sexual orientation as well.

perhaps applications forms should have initial and surname only (a bit like we don't put age, and can choose whether to put ethnicity). Then perhaps people who have a, god forbid, cutesy name will have the same chance as all the lovely middle class Elizabeths and James.

KidderminsterKate Sat 10-Aug-13 09:37:57

I named my youngest son Bear. It suits him and people that know us don't bat an eyelid. My other children have unusual ish names with a sort of 'nature' theme but all suit them

I'm reminded that CVs sent by agencies usually remove any personal mention at all - so names and addresses simply do not appear, and the hiring company says "we'd like to see number 362" or whatever.

That's surely a better system in general.

Samu2 Sat 10-Aug-13 10:32:17

I have an Evie and I was told it was too babyish.

She can just call herself Eve if she likes when she is older. It wasn't as popular when she was born but I still adore her name, even though people tell me it is babyish and she won't be taken seriously hmm

I love the name Posy!

SunnyIntervals Sat 10-Aug-13 11:11:47

Horry in the City, accountancy and law Cvs do have names on

curlew Sat 10-Aug-13 12:21:01

I just don't see why you would saddle an adult woman with Dotty when she can be Dorothy and have loads of lovely shortenings to choose from. And she can be Dotty to you forever!

SuitedandBooted Sat 10-Aug-13 13:00:26

I knew a girl who dropped her "cute" name as soon as she could, having been laughed at for years. She trained as a lawyer, and changed it, simply because she couldn't stand the thought of going into a meeting and introducing herself as "Hello, I'm Posy Willow". WHAT WERE HER PARENTS THINKING!! You are naming an ADULT!!

coralanne Sat 10-Aug-13 13:20:14

My adult niece is called Dotty.

Her actual name is Laura but when she was born she was so tiny her DM said she was just like a little dot. Over the years this changed to Dotty.

She is now 27 and Dotty suits her beautifully.

Treaguez Sat 10-Aug-13 13:24:26

I think it sort of depends on accent.
Posy pronounced very poshly as 'pays-eh' - no I can't take that seriously.
Kitty shortened to Kits by tously blondes in massive sunglasses - not going to make me think 'strong woman'.

It's like being called Plum and having horses. There's an indefinable air of 'going to marry a banker and be known for giving a good dinner party.'

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 10-Aug-13 13:45:40

I notice the title of this topic is baby names. A lot of people seem to forget you're not just naming a baby, you're naming the adult that baby will become.
And Bear? Why would anyone do that? Ridiculous though better than weasel, I suppose.

curlew Sat 10-Aug-13 13:56:24

"She is now 27 and Dotty suits her beautifully."

If I were her I wouldn't find this flattering!

What is the purpose of a name? So that you are distinguishable from others, it doesn't give you a personality or anything else. I'm not shy or loud because of my name, we all think differently about names because of others we have met that is it.

navada Sat 10-Aug-13 15:08:05

I'm sorry, but naming a child 'Bear' is beyond silly.
I just hope the poor boy has a sense of humour.

ninani Sat 10-Aug-13 15:46:33

As there is a dichotomy of opinions on this matter and many people feel strongly against such names why don't you give her a "proper" name and let her shorten it IF she likes? Or you could give it as a second name.

everlong Sat 10-Aug-13 16:06:40

See I don't think of Posy and Kitty as cutsie that's the job of Lexie-Mae and Demi-Rae amongst other things

posybunchof Sat 10-Aug-13 17:14:54

I like the name Posy smile

(Had no idea it was short for Josephine tho!!!)

My DC are (and soon will be) called quite boring sensible names tho (in case they ever become prime minister, ha).

Agree though that by then it won't really matter, given how many people (boys and girls) are given 'cute' names now.

posybunchof Sat 10-Aug-13 17:21:43

ps ref the name Poppy, I like, but did inwardly cringe once when hearing the (quite posh) mum of one calling her child in the park by several even more cute forms of it: Popstar, Popsicle, Poptart...

OverAndAbove Sat 10-Aug-13 17:50:51

I will admit to sometimes being a bit sniffy about certain names, and Lola was always the exemplar - it seemed to become popular about the same time as I had my oh-so-sensibly-named daughter. But then I came across this lady - Baroness (Lola) Young of Hornsey:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lola_Young,_Baroness_Young_of_Hornsey

She's amazing, and I feel embarrassed about being mean about what the name Lola signifies. More fool me!

Lighthousekeeping Sat 10-Aug-13 18:05:18

I bet this doesn't happen in the states.

carmenelectra Sat 10-Aug-13 18:18:56

Am I the only one that's thinks its ludicrous to give their child a formal name and a nickname? Are people that do that members of the royal family or summat. Sounds to me, like the way a pedigree dog has a name on his certificate for show purposes but a pet name for home. Barmy on a human.

Why would someone who likes Kitty( I love it btw) put Catherine on birth certificate? Sounds snobby to me and as if a parent is embarrassed by the name they really like.

Also, what is exactly wrong with being girly and cutesy?I am a professional woman but love sparkly, glittery pink stuff. Doesn't mean I have no brains!

Yeah Susan may be nice but a little dull(sorry). I'd much rather be a Kitty, Polly or even a Princess smile

BellaPamella Sat 10-Aug-13 18:48:41

It's your child your decision, I regret telling people the name of my son before he was born they all looked at me as if I was mad then offered up their own (dull, boring, traditional or overused) suggestion as if I'd change my mind. My little boy is called Brody and he suits it right down to the ground. if he really hates it or finds it holds him back when he grows up his middle name is Alexander and he can use that.

Lighthousekeeping Sat 10-Aug-13 19:00:09

My gp is called dolly. I work with a radiographer called kitty. I know an obstetrician called Hetty. And my feisty nieces have four of the names that have come up on this thread. Shame on you lot who are showing your snobby colours. Really, who do some of you think you are?

poppy12345 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:00:35

If think your mum is wrong. I always want to be sure enough of my daughter's name to put it on the birth certificate and not just put a traditional name and then shorten it if that makes sense.
My daughter's name is Kitty by the way! It is such a pretty name and is actually very old fashioned, one of the sisters in Pride and Prejudice is called Kitty! She gets lots of compliments on her name and is the only one in her school with the name.

poppy12345 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:24:40

To make clear, Kitty is on her birth certificate too, it's not simply a nickname.

somewherewest Sat 10-Aug-13 19:28:03

It's your child your decision

[Dons hard hat]. I really hate that attitude. We don't own our children. They're the ones who have to live with their names long after we're dead and gone. At least give them something un-cutesy on the birth cert so they have a choice in later life.

somewherewest Sat 10-Aug-13 19:33:58

I guess I also like the idea of having a formal/informal distinction in names. I always use the full version of my first name on official stuff, but shorten it with family and friends. I quite like having the distinction - I'd have hated it if that choice had been taken away from me.

poppy12345 Sat 10-Aug-13 19:52:35

Having the choice though makes it feel like you're not being called by your actual name. My birth certificate name is a formal name which I actually love as it was given to me at birth, later on in life when I was a little older way before school it got shortened to a nickname. Now I'm known by my nickname by everyone and really hate it! If I request my formal name it always get shortened and doesn't 'stick'. If your child grows up with being known as a shortened name, that will be their identity, if at 21 they change it to their formal name on their birth certificate they won't feel like themselves in my opinion.

I just wish I was still known as what was actually on my birth certificate! It's who I am!

Yonionekanobe Sat 10-Aug-13 19:53:08

Is Posy short for Josephine?

poppy12345 Sat 10-Aug-13 20:00:43

Yon according to google it is!

CheshireDing Sat 10-Aug-13 20:55:41

I haven't read the whole thread as it's massive grin

We have a Poppy and yes it does seem to be becoming a bit more popular but by the time she grows up and is in the working world there will be lots of people different ages so less people with the same names, ikywim.

Kitty or Dotty I think are fine but would probably use them as the nn but register the official name so the child then does have a choice.

I do think it is better to not tell people your name choices in RL though as they love to give their opinion ! Let's face it most people grow in to their names and nobody thinks anything of it.

We know a Teddy and the Doctor off Embarrassing Bodies is called Pixie.

Onyabike Sat 10-Aug-13 21:07:13

Yes CheshireDing, but "Pixie" McKenna from Embarrassing Bodies is actually Bernadette Anne McKenna!

Littleen Sat 10-Aug-13 21:15:32

I think it's ridiculous to judge someone by their name, and I would happily have a doctor called Posy or a lawyer called Lola! Name your little one what you think is beautiful smile None of them will be thought about as "too ditsy" by their own generation, because they are not so unusual. It won't matter!

squoosh Sat 10-Aug-13 21:54:10

And yet despite her 'proper' name she still goes by Pixie in her professional life!

I think Poppy is popular on a larger age span, went to uni with one, had an 18 year old apprentice one last year and know a three year old one!

shoobidoo Sat 10-Aug-13 22:06:16

Not suer I would not take someone with a cutesy name seriously..., but I do think that a lot of the recently trendy cutesy names are likely to sound dated as they fall out of favour again, as people look towards more solid names again. Such names incluce Alfie, Archie, Poppy, Ellie, Evie, Molly etc.

I personally prefer the sound of longer, elegant sounding names.

CheshireDing Sat 10-Aug-13 22:08:12

Pixie is a way cooler name than Bernadette grin

LadyLech Sat 10-Aug-13 22:12:11

Littleen,

Whilst people shouldn't judge others on their names, I think it is naive to think that others won't. There's a huge amount of research to show that people are judged by their names all the time. The link shows this point, although it is American, but there is a lot of British studies that have similar results

www.livescience.com/6569-good-bad-baby-names-long-lasting-effects.html

There's another, British study where researchers sent in identical CVs, certain names were found to be offered interviews far more frequently compared to other names. I forget where I read it, but it was fascinating.

And also, just because a name will become more common, doesn't mean it will necessarily be judged well. Think Sharon and Tracy of our generation!

ringaringarosy Sat 10-Aug-13 22:31:17

names always get shortened or lengthened no matter what they are,Posy will be called Po for sure!

PLus if they hate it they can change it when they get to 18 if they want to,my cousin did that,but it was from one boring name to another so didnt see the point.

I dont see the point of giving formal names if you intend to call them a shortened version,its annoying,and that comes from someone with a long name who is known as the shortened version,id rather of just been called the short one.

ratqueen Sat 10-Aug-13 22:56:35

I have given my DD a (fairly common) long name and short name, and we have always used both interchangeably. If that's is annoying to other people, well.... how is it their business?!! And every traditional boy name seems to get shortened at school anyway. Why not pick one with a shortening you like? Would you call a child Jim instead of James? I doubt it.

OP, people in RL (esp mothers!) love nosing in other people's name choices pre-birth. Much better to make a decision you love, keep it a secret, tell people at the birth, then they can lump it!

skyflyer Sun 11-Aug-13 00:54:00

I kind of agree with your mother. Posy & Polly are ok as nn but not to be taken seriously. A 'proper' (sorry can't find the right word) name for the first name and then Posy or Polly as a middle name?

Lighthousekeeping Sun 11-Aug-13 04:21:03

Omg my senior doctor on tonight is a Polly!! People are making ridiculous assumptions on here,

SunnyIntervals Sun 11-Aug-13 06:33:14

Kitty in Pride and Prejudice is actually a Catherine with nn Kitty.

babyboomersrock Sun 11-Aug-13 11:32:00

If it's true, as has been suggested, that HR departments are staffed by people so blinkered that they choose employees with the "right" names, then they need to be educated out of their discriminatory practices.

How do they cope when the name is not one they recognise? Or do they avoid the problem by binning all applications with "foreign" names, just in case it's the equivalent of Tracy or Sharon?

Writerwannabe83 Sun 11-Aug-13 12:49:36

The sad fact is that people are judged by their names - that is life and just because we don't agree with it doesn't mean we should ignore it.

I would never call my child something that might cause people to say, "What the hell was she thinking?"

Cutesie names don't bother me though, as long as they are real names I.e Poppy, Molly, Evie, Kitty etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with pretty names like that.

It is just ridiculous names I have a problem with, where children are called silly things that aren't real names - Bear being a great example grin

Writerwannabe83 Sun 11-Aug-13 12:51:15

Mind you, I do have two lovely kittens. Maybe I could call my child Cat? Not sure if it is a masculine or feminine name though... grin

SunnyIntervals Sun 11-Aug-13 12:52:12

Baby, very sadly when they've done blind tests with so called 'white name' cvs eg Annabelle Cordingly and identical cvs which have 'foreign' names on, many more of the foreign names get binned.

babyboomersrock Sun 11-Aug-13 13:30:11

Baby, very sadly when they've done blind tests with so called 'white name' cvs eg Annabelle Cordingly and identical cvs which have 'foreign' names on, many more of the foreign names get binned

I suspected as much, but thank you for the confirmation. I guess no-one can ever prove they didn't get an interview because of their name, any more than they can prove it's because of their colour - but perhaps more needs to be done to stamp out such discrimination at source. If HR staff are truly "educated" as someone claimed earlier, then they need to look at their uneducated prejudices.

I have a brother whose name is very "British" though his ancestry is Pakistani - he's adopted. He often laughs at the fact that his identity is "hidden" from prospective employers - but isn't it sad that he occasionally has to face the slightly-shocked expressions on the interviewers' faces? They presumably read his cv (which is excellent), and approve of his reassuringly middle-class British name, but then have to disguise their surprise when he comes through the door? His skin colour shouldn't matter, any more than his name...but it does.

So, our choices are to choose only interview-friendly baby names, or to train HR staff in equality legislation and continue to monitor their practices until they get it right. I know which I'd prefer.

FoxyRoxy Sun 11-Aug-13 13:59:06

Dr Pixie on embarrassing bodies.

VileWoman Sun 11-Aug-13 14:07:39

I'm not keen on the cutsie names, they infantise the women who will carry them. There is also the additional current problem that they are so popular at the moment that in 30 years they will seem very dated. But in the 'bad name' hierarchy they are nowhere near the Bears, Apples, or Chardonnays.

I also don't think every name that ends in 'y' is a cutsie name, Emily or Anthony are both proper names, but Dotty or Bobby should only be used as a nn.

Not sure I agree with the PP who said no name feels like your real name if you use several versions. My brother has a good solid traditional name that he uses at university and work, he has a family nickname that is a common short form of his name, he also has a nickname that his schoolfriends call him that only loosely related to his real name. All three names belong to him. My sister has a family NN that isn't based on her name, she is actually quite protective of it and friends and acquaintances aren't allowed to use it, but all her nieces and nephews call her 'Auntie NN'.

curlew Sun 11-Aug-13 14:07:57

Real name Bernadette!

squoosh Sun 11-Aug-13 14:11:57

But official work name is nonetheless Pixie.

curlew Sun 11-Aug-13 14:13:50

The point is that it was her choice! Not the choice of a parent wanting to show the world how whacky and free thinking they were.

squoosh Sun 11-Aug-13 14:17:26

Well I don't blame her for ditching Bernadette. I'd rather be called Roger.

FoxyRoxy Sun 11-Aug-13 14:27:41

My point was that she clearly didn't think it was an issue to her career!

curlew Sun 11-Aug-13 14:37:12

Do we actually know whether she applied to medical school as Pixie? Or any other traditional doctor jobs? I hardly think it would be a barrier to working on "embarrassing bodies" -they probably thought she was 8 inches tall with pointy ears