Friend has just named their new DD...

(107 Posts)
itsjustnotagoodidea Fri 21-Jun-13 01:57:02

Myra.

First thought is Hindley as I imagine most people would. Friends are not from UK but live here so may not know the connection. Would you mention it to them before they register the baby? Poor child will have no end of nasty teasing throughout school. It's not the sort of crime that will ever be forgotten.

BOF Fri 21-Jun-13 02:06:46

I would mention it. Ian seems to have slipped through the net, but Adolf, for example, hasn't, and it's about as bad in terms of associations.

BasicallyBeyonce Fri 21-Jun-13 02:12:03

My first thought was Myra from Hollyoaks blush

strawberryswing Fri 21-Jun-13 03:17:35

Same beyonce!. Hindley aside it is a lovely name and I think adults are more likely to pick up on it than children in a school

But yes, I would say something. I'm sure little Myra would get tired of hearing 'as in Hindley?' constantly!

chillisbopper Fri 21-Jun-13 03:20:30

I am inclined to agree. I didn't immediately think Myra Hindley however I read the post quite quickly rather than dwelling on just the name Myra. Now that the connection has been made in my mind I am trying to think of any other Myra so it doesn't seem so bad and I truly can't, that is the one and only Myra in my head.

I'd mention it just so that your friends have thought it through and if they still go ahead then I'd try to put it out of your mind as much as possible so you can enjoy seeing their child. I have a friend who named his daughter Madeleine, she's about 3 now, unfortunately my first thought was of poor Madeleine McCann, and it just didn't feel right. But they went ahead as they liked the name.

AdoraBell Fri 21-Jun-13 03:42:17

I'd also mention it, fwiw I'm 45 and as soon as I saw Myra my mind filled in Hindley.

Congrats to your friends for their new DDsmile

Dillydollydaydream Fri 21-Jun-13 04:25:14

Def first thought was Myra hindley. Maybe suggest Lyra instead.

I have a friend who is in her late 20's called Myra and until I saw it written here I didn't even make the connection to Hindley. She's a lovely girl and her own person and has her own surname and personality.

DontmindifIdo Fri 21-Jun-13 06:03:18

It is rather a generational issue though, as Myra hindly is dead and Ian Brady is on his way out too, the names might well slip out of the public consciousness as being child murderers (unless you live near the moors).

If they genuinely haven't heard

DontmindifIdo Fri 21-Jun-13 06:04:44

(posted too soon)

If they genuinely haven't heard of the moors murderers then it would be worth telling them, but it is a lovely name.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 06:05:34

I think it's very difficult to mention it unless you are very good friends.

Littleturkish Fri 21-Jun-13 06:06:27

28 here and didn't make the connection.

munchkinmaster Fri 21-Jun-13 06:12:13

I know an older lady called Myra and had never made the connection.

Chubfuddler Fri 21-Jun-13 06:27:38

I think the connection is slipping out of out collective consciousness tbh. I wouldn't say anything.

TheRealFellatio Fri 21-Jun-13 06:35:09

Is she aware? If she's young she may not be. I would find it hard to know how to broach this without her being very upset. Changing your baby's name is a really big deal. But maybe it's time to reclaim the name and allow it to move on from negative connotations. If younger people do not make the connection then perhaps those of us who do should just accept that and embrace it.

Urgh though. grin

I thought of Myra McQueen hollyoaks too and I'm 32.
Hindley didn't even enter my head till I read the whole post.

kelda Fri 21-Jun-13 06:50:40

Myra is a common name outside of the UK. I wouldn't say anything.

zippey Fri 21-Jun-13 06:56:53

I think it's a nice name and wouldn't say anything. What's the problem? It doesn't mean the child will be bad and we shouldn't give the deceased killer the power over a lovely name like that.

kelda Fri 21-Jun-13 06:58:01

Chances are they will pronounce it Meera.

LaChaiseVerte Fri 21-Jun-13 07:00:05

My friends have called their baby Myla, and I unfortunately thought of Myra. I wouldn't do it myself but agree it's a shame that a name should be ruined by one person. I wouldn't say anything.

I'm 33 and that wasn't my first thought.

Say nothing.

capercaillie Fri 21-Jun-13 07:08:11

I wouldn't say anything.

I didn't think of hindley first. I had an aunt called Myra.

TheDeadlyDonkey Fri 21-Jun-13 07:13:29

I'm 37 and thought of a character in a Noel Streatfeild book.
It's a lovely name. I can't see children in a playground making the connection at all.

KnittedWaffle Fri 21-Jun-13 07:14:16

I'm mid-thirties and didn't immediately think of Hindley. It's a nice name in its own right and if they're outside the UK it shouldn't be a problem. (No doubt some other countries have serial killers whose names we don't necessarily think of when naming our DC examples here )

snuffaluffagus Fri 21-Jun-13 07:15:34

I'm 32 and did immediately think hindley, but kids at school wouldn't make that connection.

I think the change will come in a few years when Ian Brady dies and the news will be filled with both their names all over again. sad

I would mention it tbh.

HoneyDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 07:24:56

See, I'd prefer Myra to Lyra. Lyra just makes me think, has sex at 13 grin

lljkk Fri 21-Jun-13 07:31:25

I would mention it, but support them in whatever decision they made.

8thplace Fri 21-Jun-13 07:58:29

I wouldn't mention it.

They have probably thought long and hard about their chosen name as we all have and if they live in the uk have probably googled it too.

I think its a lovely name. Should not be marred by one womans crimes.

miffybun73 Fri 21-Jun-13 08:01:53

I'm 39, my first thought was Myra Hindley as I've never heard of any other Myras.

Dackyduddles Fri 21-Jun-13 08:06:39

Why because the name Myra has connotations to a 45 yr old would you mention it to the parents of a newborn?

Adolf is massively different. It was a world war. Hindley was a murderer in north England.

I'm 35. I really wouldn't be bothered. I only barely know details. Nobody babies age will.

bugsybill Fri 21-Jun-13 08:12:15

I didnt think anything of it either, till I read the thread.

I work with a Myra, she is lovely.

I think because the name is less common than other serial killers it sticks with hindley. But here are loads of Peters freds roses ians that's don't have the association because they are more popular. I would leave it. A quick google by the parents would have brought up hindley I'm sure. So just leave them be, they are obviously in love with the name

Chubfuddler Fri 21-Jun-13 08:21:22

TBH it's only marred by association because it is quite an unusual name. It wasn't common before her crimes made it unusable. Therefore it has a connotation Ian simply doesn't have. Ian is a very common name.

Chubfuddler Fri 21-Jun-13 08:21:40

X posted with above.

I agree.

grin

ZenGardener Fri 21-Jun-13 08:26:58

I actually really like the name Myra. I would consider using it but my married surname goes with practically no names.

Grrrr at DH!

Fluffycloudland77 Fri 21-Jun-13 08:27:51

Well, I'm 35 and my first thought was hindley too but it's their choice and we can't be swayed by one bad Myra.

The most prolific baby farm murderer was called Amelia, no one makes the connection now though.

mignonette Fri 21-Jun-13 08:30:41

I know two Myra's and i can honestly say that it had never occurred to me before now. Please don't say anything because if you do and they then choose the name anyway, it may become a bit of an elephant in the room

I doubt there will be no end of nasty teasing at school - the children won't have heard of hindley.

Only a handful know who 'princess Diana' is as they were all born after her death - this always surprises me somehow!

magimedi Fri 21-Jun-13 08:32:01

I am 57 & didn't make the connection at all until I read it.

I think it would be a very difficult thing to say to them.

My friend named her son Fred and my instant thought was Fred West but withing very short time, he was just Fred and I never thought about the association again.

FacebookWanker Fri 21-Jun-13 08:32:34

I'm 41 and I didn't make the connection. I just thought 'nice name'.

gingysmummy Fri 21-Jun-13 08:35:18

My mil is called Myra i'm not keen on the name but i certainly don't think of myra hindlay when i say her name

CaptainJamesTKirk Fri 21-Jun-13 08:37:28

I'm 36 and made the connection... But she's been dead for over 10 years. It's a nice name and people shouldn't be put off using it because of Hindley. Don't mention it, it's none of your business.

itsjustnotagoodidea Fri 21-Jun-13 09:53:54

I'm 31 I it was the first thing I thought of. I know a couple of other friends that also made the connection straight away and are also wondering if they should say anything. I agree it's none of my business and after reading all the replies, I won't say anything. The friends are not from the UK but live there and their daughter will be growing up there. I do feel sorry for her.

mameulah Fri 21-Jun-13 09:59:42

I'm 37 and I didn't make the connection either.

SavoyCabbage Fri 21-Jun-13 10:02:17

I know two dc called Myra. Once you know a Myra, you associate it with the child you know.

My dds teacher is called Mary Bell.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 10:02:40

I'd mention it. Gently - before it is registered.

TheDeadlyDonkey Fri 21-Jun-13 10:05:16

I don't understand why (seemingly) there is a taboo around the name Myra, yet not Ian. I know quite a few Ians under the age of thirty.
Also Fred - a few years ago, you couldn't move for little Fred/Freddies, obviously the name wasn't spoiled by Fred West.

There are serial killers with all sorts of names that are still in common use.
Myra is a name, a perfectly good name, with many positive connections. If you are so worried about it, educate yourself and find Myras that can give you positive associations, rather than focusing on one bad 'un.

MolotovCocktail Fri 21-Jun-13 10:08:52

Would you advise them against Ian if they'd had a son? Or Fred (West)? Or Rose (West)? Aileen (Wuronos)?

Myra is associated with Hindley because
1) It's a relatively uncommon name
2) They committed abhorrent crimes

However, Myra isn't mutually exclusive to Hindley. Your friends haven't named her after Hindley (right?) so I don't know whether you ought to make issue of it. It depends on how good friends you are.

The only name I can think of that is strictly out is Adolf. No-one says 'no' to Joseph (Stalin, Mengele).

I'm 'only' 25 and thought hindley - please mention it to them, poor dd to carry that name sad

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 10:10:40

Because Myra is a much more unusual name to begin with.

It's like trying to avoid seeing black cars. They are everywhere. Good people and bad people are called Ian, people know loads of Ians. The associations aren't uniquely bad.

Myra is a very uncommon name and for most people the only one they have ever heard of will be Myra Hindley.

I think that is why.

Fairyloo Fri 21-Jun-13 10:13:29

I think we have same friend!!! Odd

Thinkingof4 Fri 21-Jun-13 10:16:11

I agree with Roooney it's such an unusual name, hence why people quickly think of Hindley. I'm 34 and it was first thing I thought of. Also because of the nature of the crimes, fact she was a woman etc.
Names like Ian, Fred, Rose are common and most people will know a of a few different folk with those names hence less likely to think immediately of the infamous ones

itsjustnotagoodidea Fri 21-Jun-13 10:35:41

Fairyloo Very odd, I wonder if we do! Are you going to say anything? I'm not, I wouldn't know how to broach it.

Myra is an unusual name and that is why it stands out. There are plenty of Ians, Roses and Freds so it's not the same.

jessjessjess Fri 21-Jun-13 10:42:54

TheDeadlyDonkey because society is more horrified by female murderers and considers them worse. It says a lot about stereotypes that Myra is taboo and Ian is not.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 10:47:52

I think there is a case to be made about social attitudes to female murderers, certainly, and indeed the prevalence of male murderers in comparison to female, in itself.

But in this instance I think it's more a reflection on the name and its uncommonness.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 10:48:16

I mean imagine if Hindley had been called Susan. Would we all have recoiled in horror at a baby Susan? No.

dufflefluffle Fri 21-Jun-13 10:48:48

Or Moira - an oy! in the middle rather than an i sound...similar but not sinister!

lottieandmia Fri 21-Jun-13 10:50:55

I don't think you should mention it - if someone did that to me and 'suggested' something else I would think they were rude and interfering tbh.

bootsycollins Fri 21-Jun-13 10:51:11

Sorry to grin but AKWARD! It's your duty as a friend to tell her.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 10:53:13

I wouldn't suggest something else. I'd just mention the associations.

I asked people if my baby's name was likely to have bad associations in their country before I used it. I wanted to know.

Luckily it didn't - but another friend used a name that is kind of unpopular in its native country, and I haven't the heart to tell her - it is a great name but apparently not terribly PC. Her child is now at school anyway so too late!

Sarahplane Fri 21-Jun-13 10:56:28

I'm 27 and Hindley was my first thought.

Scruffey Fri 21-Jun-13 10:57:37

I'd mention it but be prepared to lose the friendship over it.

They committed murders in the 60s (I think), 20 years before I was born. But all of my generation are well aware of her.

Myra is unusual and therefore associated with Hindley. Ian is different - common name, to associated particularly with Brady.

Maya would be an alternative?

Hamwidge Fri 21-Jun-13 10:58:48

I thought it. But then I wake up looking at the moors every day so I'm biased

GaryBuseysTeeth Fri 21-Jun-13 11:00:22

Hindley was my first thought (25).

I love the name, would like to use it myself but I couldn't do it.

burberryqueen Fri 21-Jun-13 11:01:40

please mention this association to your friend - Myra = Hindley to people of all ages.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 11:49:31

I would just let her know. Just arm her with the information to decide to stick with it or change.

You can't compare it to Fred. Fred was always popular enough that there were other freds and fred doesn't instantly remind me of fred west in the way that Myra does instantly remind everybody of myra Hindley.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 11:50:56

rooney, I think I might know what that name is. my now x mil did her best to talk me out of it. she was living in America at the time.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 21-Jun-13 12:58:37

I think you definitely doing the right thing by not mentioning it.

If she's already named her, then really don't interfere, it would be mean to try and make her doubt herself. And possiy spoil it for her.

I had a friend who did this, and it didn't come across as friend duty or just giving me info, it came across as her being rather unpleasant and causing an issue where there was none. I am not sure what her motivations actually were, but it didn't come across as supportive.

She also gave alternatives, which can't across as her telling me my choice wasn't up to scratch but she felt it was her place to impose her own choice above mine! If it was in the deciding phase then fine, afterwards, not going to go down well!

A name is a name and in most cases takes on the characteristics of the child. Also I would have faith that your friend & her partner have thought about the name and have made a decision they feel is right.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!

weeper Fri 21-Jun-13 13:13:43

My mum is a Myra and I have a brother called Ian (!)

I honestly don't think the association occurred to my parents when they were naming him in the 80s. Certainly, no-one's ever commented on it. We do joke about how my mum's name is one that will pretty much die out though, which is a shame because people who are not from the UK often comment on what a nice name it is.

I don't think it'll really be that awful if your friend's DD is called Myra. People of her generation won't make the association and although it might cross older people's minds, I doubt they'll comment.

Oh, and she'll be her OWN PERSON, and hopefully not a serial killer. grin

SugarMouse1 Fri 21-Jun-13 14:23:16

Maybe she could be called Myley/Miley as well for short?

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 16:50:04

Adios, really? I don't think it is very common at all. I hope I haven't offended you.

notso Fri 21-Jun-13 17:40:08

I honestly can't see the problem unless the surname is Hindley.

winkygirl Fri 21-Jun-13 18:27:20

I don't think it is a problem and I wouldn't say anything. When I read Myra I thought, that is an unusual name and then thought of a couple of Myras that I know in their 50s/60s.

My dd is called Madeleine, born just over a year before MM went missing. Only one or two people have ever made a connection.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 19:49:08

sorry, leapt to a conclusion there. thought you were talking about Jemima which is too problematic to use in America.

ThedementedPenguin Fri 21-Jun-13 19:56:52

I'm 23 and haven't a clue who Myra Hindley is.

orangepudding Fri 21-Jun-13 20:03:07

I think Hindley but I have never heard of another Myra so don't have an other associations.

I wouldn't say anything as it's not an offensive name.

shufflehopstep Fri 21-Jun-13 20:21:54

I wouldn't. I know an Imelda and my first thought was Imelda Staunton. I've heard other people mention Imelda Marcos. Children won't make the connection, only adults, so they're unlikely to suffer teasing.

Myra Hindley's been dead a while now and Ian Brady's in his 70s so is unlikely to last. Nobody of a younger generation will make the connection.

LazySleepy Fri 21-Jun-13 20:30:30

Hi- are your friends from India? It is a very popular name in urban India and I guess they are not aware of the connection. I wouldn't mention it, it's a lovely name and I never thought of Hindley.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 21:13:54

Oh wow - Jemima? Really? (sorry I keep saying that!) How is it problematic? I know of a few over here, it seems very much loved.

The name I was thinking of was a boy's name, I'd love to say it but it'll out me smile

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 21:17:32

WEll I was told by a black lady that it had racial under tones. 'mamie'. Look at the caricature of a mamie on the side of aunt jemima's pancake and pancake syrup. It has a totally different image over there. apparently. I was told this quite forcefully by a black American. I still doubted her. I went to check it on BabyCenter.com and she was proved right by American posters. shame, loved the name. we've been to America once since she was born.

seventiesgirl Fri 21-Jun-13 21:21:08

Myra is is lovely. Wouldn't bother me. How many Jack's are there? Ripper anyone?

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 21:26:32

That's fascinating smile

WouldBeHarrietVane Fri 21-Jun-13 21:27:30

It is awful sad and most people will think of it - every teacher/dr/job interviewer eg.

Can't they call her one of these:

Maura
Moira
Maria

Instead? You could present it as a spelling issue?

Essexgirlupnorth Fri 21-Jun-13 21:28:00

I thought of a girl I went to school with first. I don't think children would make the connection tbh.

WouldBeHarrietVane Fri 21-Jun-13 21:28:28

Or Mara

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 21-Jun-13 21:35:16

I would say something. Tactfully though.

thegreylady Fri 21-Jun-13 21:36:27

I would mention it and suggest Moira or even Mary as an alternative.

Guadalupe Fri 21-Jun-13 21:39:05

I immediately think of a lovely woman we've rented a holiday cottage off for several years.

I can't remember if I thought of Myra Hindley when we first met. If I did it didn't last long.

Nancyclancy Fri 21-Jun-13 21:45:49

I'm 34, as soon as I saw 'Myra' I thought Hindley. I couldn't give that name to my child. It's a nice name, just the connection.

SoftSheen Fri 21-Jun-13 21:48:27

How about using the alternative spelling 'Mirah'. It has the same pronunciation but the link is less obvious.

Nancyclancy Fri 21-Jun-13 21:49:32

As already mentioned, strange how people don't make the connection with the name 'Jack' and 'Jack the Ripper, and other equally evil people. Yet Myra does?

mymagaret Fri 21-Jun-13 22:04:30

Im 22 and know who Myra Hindley is but didn't think immediately of this. I thought 'pretty name' and more original than most that keep circulating. I don't think its your place to tell your friends what they should call their baby. The person makes the name their own.

pictish Fri 21-Jun-13 22:06:48

I know a Myra - and actually the connection has never occurred to me.

kelda Fri 21-Jun-13 22:11:49

The chances are the parents know anyway.

It's a pretty name and popular in several countries so the Hindley connection is probably totally irrelevant to them.

I really wouldn't say anything.

My child has the initials LAD. We don't live in an english speaking country, and it's unlikely we will ever live in the UK. A friend said to me after the birth 'do you know her initials spell 'lad' and she is a girl?'

I rolled my eyes and resisted a sarcastic response, saying simply 'Yes' instead.

None has ever mentioned it since.

TheSecondComing Fri 21-Jun-13 22:17:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShoutyCrackers Fri 21-Jun-13 22:24:20

Nobody in their right mind would use it knowing the facts. She was a really infamous evil child killer. Why on earth would you do that?

I'm 27 and I immidiately thought of Myra Hindley. Therefore I would mention it. Its just unusual enough that you make that link, unlike say Rose (West) or Mary (Bell).

bugsybill Fri 21-Jun-13 23:45:39

How would you tactfully say something about it though?

I think when it comes to names parents will either take 'constructive' criticism /comments to be patronising or just straight critism.

If they chose the name they would have thought about it and reflected on it for awhile and possibly thought of the association and dismissed it.

thequeenmary Fri 21-Jun-13 23:49:41

25 - automatically thought Hindley

TheSecondComing Fri 21-Jun-13 23:50:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScentedCandlestickMaker Fri 21-Jun-13 23:52:51

I think people who aren't living in their own country and have missed the cultural references should be given a headsup. Not in the same league at all but my French friend wanted to call her baby Martin and I told her no no no no no darling. just no Now that she has been in Ireland a lot longer she is grateful.

ScentedCandlestickMaker Fri 21-Jun-13 23:53:20

Apologies to any Martins. I know it is not the same as calling your child Myra.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 21-Jun-13 23:56:43

I'm 24 and thought Hindley immediately. It will take more than one or two generations to make that name acceptable again I think

ZenGardener Sat 22-Jun-13 07:14:25

But they've already named her.

I would say something if she was still pg and thinking about the name but I think once a baby has been born and named then it is better to shut up and say nothing.

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