Do you have any regrets choosing an unusual name?(80 Posts)
DH and I agreed on a name months ago and now we're close to the big day (C-section is next week!) but I'm starting to have a wobble. Although we love the name it's starting to worry me that others won't, part of me thinks I shouldn't care and part of me thinks we may regret picking something so unusual.
I got a bit of a flaming when I trialled the name on these boards a few months ago so I won't share it, but wondered whether anyone has regretted or opted out of using an unusual name they love?
I'm pretty certain friends and family won't like it but I expect they'd be polite enough not to let on to us. Since we choose the name I haven't been worried about what other people might think but now I'm wondering whether we might regret using something so unusual that many people won't like.
I can't tell if this hormones talking or if we should have a re-think and choose a name that people have at least heard of and are more likely to like. Wow that's a bit of an essay, any advice/comments very welcome.
Well I know some people hate my kids names and some love them but I don't regret either and they really suit my DSs. If you love it then you are more likely to regret not using the name in my opinion.
I've often met people who say they love DS1's name and wish they had used it but went for something more conventional but I've never met anyone who regrets the name they did choose.
I think people who pick 'brave' names for their children are
bugger bloody ipad.
What I was going to say was:
I think people who pick 'brave' or unusual names are great, and I wish I was brave enough to go for it. Your child will grow into their name.\
Go for it.
I normally love unusual names, and started a thread on here recently about regretting choosing "safe", traditional names. It does sound as though you're hesitating because you've realised most other people would dislike it though, and as your DC will have it all his life, maybe you should re-think? With an endless variety of names to choose from ,why go with one that you have niggling doubts about? (By the way, was it Grover?)
Poor Grover! I think Grover is awesome.
I personally wish I picked something a little less traditional. However, I'm married
and he wanted a say, the bastard
My nephew has a "brave" name. I actually laughed when he was born and my brother told me. To his credit he didn't twat me one and now no one in the family thinks it is odd. It's just his name.
Go for the unusual name - as long as you like it who cares. Babies grow into their names anyway.
What you forget is when people call DC 'traditional and safe' names lots of people will be inwardly thinking how boring. What I mean is .. other people will always have some comment to make on the name you choose whether unusual or traditional (they just won't tell you once the baby is born) so just go for the name you like, otherwise you'll regret it.
I have a perennially unusual name (fewer than ten a year registered in E&W each year, and I've never met anyone else with the same name). I never disliked it or wished for a more "usual" name.
I have named my son something similarly unusual and will be naming my second child to match - I find myself drawn to more unusual names, probably because I have enjoyed having one myself.
How many adults do you know who don't suit their names? If you love it then he will wear it marvellously.
Please tell us!
My children have very unusual first names that go wonderfully with our forrin surname.
I am fairly sure that there will be the usual lot who think that a name is not a proper name unless it's an english middle class name used by at least two monarchs and a saint but I think sod it. Use the names you love.
I suggest you go with the name that you want. Assuming it's nothing along the lines of TalulaDoesTheHulaFromHawaii it'll be fine.
I've got 3 boys and we've got progressively "braver" naming each one and actually wish we'd been more adventurous naming DS1 who has a name popular 40+ years ago but actually not v popular now,just outside top 100.Although we've had mixed reactions (mainly from family,friends are too polite)none of their names are weird ,just not that well-used so I don't think they will hate us when they are older!I have a fairly unusual name myself,was the only one in the school and always liked that.
The vast majority of Mumsnet told me DD's rare name was "awful", "a cow or horse's name" or "a fat lass name". She is now 2.6 and DH and I remain convinced it is the best name in the world, ever. Occasionally I look back on the threads where it was slated just to feel smug that I stood fIrm and followed my gut -it suits her so well.
Should she turn out to hate it we will of course ignore our love of it and support her using a middle or new name!
Please use the name you love! Kids will grow into ANY name and people will associate your lovley child with the name once they meet him/her. Our ds has an unusual name (only used about 15 times last year) and he loves being the only one in his school with it!
Also, we sometimes forget why we name someone - to identify him/her!
Use a name you love. Every one loves and hates different names even ones in top 10.
I called my ds Herbie he is just over 6 months old. I love it and have never met a child called Herbie. So far everyone I've met has loved it bar one person. Well no one else has ever said anything bad about it.
I feel like you need to be prepared for some negative reactions as I think all parents do as everyone has different tastes.
Honestly go for the name you love.
My dd has an unusual name, and I don't regret it for a second. I did get lots of horrified comments when I revealed it while still pregnant, and they scared me sufficiently into changing the equally unusual middle name for something a bit more popular. The middle name has now become much more popular and somewhat chavvy, and I wish she had the original unique middle name. I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant, and refuse to discuss names with anyone but DP. Please don't let posters on name forums put you off.
I've never heard of anyone become later embarrassed about picking an out there name, but loads of people who regret picking something common. Also, I've only met one adult with an unusual name that didnt really like it, every other one loves their different name. I spend ages searching unusual names online and the sites that allow comments often have teens and adults commenting under a name that it is theirs, and they really love it. Again, I've never been glad of my super popular name or know any Louise's/Jennifer's/Sarah's that love theirs. So I think the argument from unusual name haters that 'they'll never forgive you' 'think of the child' 'they'll get bullied' are bull. Kids do have a clue what is normal or unusual, so the playground scare tactic is ridiculous.
Kids don't have a clue even.
Just as a counterbalance, my step nephew refused to go to secondary school til he was allowed to change his "brave, unusual " name to Tom. And his sisters followed suit in their turn. It's not you that has to be brave - it's the person with the name!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Be aware though that, what seems original now can change in the blink of the eye. When we named DD, the Registrar commented on what a beautiful name it was and how she had never registered one.
5 years later it exploded in popularity. If I had known the world was about to steal MY name, is have gone for something else. Check the US name charts too as often names that are big in the US boom in the UK later.
Both my DCs have unusual names. In fact my MIL said my DD would be bullied because of her name. We ignored her and now she boasts about the wonderful names they have!
You will regret not going with the name you love. Don't let other people opinions bother you.
Don't regret it at all.
Fairly unusual name choice. It pops up on the threads very, very, very occasionally. It's an 'out there', hippy name and combined with the middle name, very unusual.
First name was 25 girls and I think just less boys in the year she was born.
Don't tell anyone the name before the babies born, only utter cunts will say to your face they don't like it, once the baby is born. Obviously, cunts opinions don't matter.
But in real life, hardly anyone as even flinched. Asked to repeat or clarification or spell it, but to my face nothing negative at all. In fact reports back from friends of friends, or old fogeys my Dad knows of how much people like the name. I'm regularly met with 'how beautiful', which I interpret as 'don't know what else the fuck to say'.
I do get asked why, that name, so I either give a brief reason or a half hour lecture on the variousl important, personal and sentimental reasons we chose the name.
Husband was dead set against it when TTC, so in utero baby sent him a book for his birthday written in the cover 'To Daddy Love name '. He soon fell for the name too.
I just wish the whole snobbery, prejudice and victimisation of name would disappear. This forum is rife with it. Children pick that shit up from their parents, like racism and homophobia. It's a name, who gives a fuck. Live with it.
it's not really about whether you regret it though, it's about whether the kid hates their name.
Which, to be fair, they could do with any name at all, unusual or not, but I do think children especially like to fit in. Then when they're grown up they can decide to be unusual & "out there" or conform to society...
I have an unusual name, DH has an even more unusual name, DC1 has a fairly uncommon name and DC2 has an unusual name.
I wouldn't have it any other way
for example, imagine eg honey boo boo wants to become a police officer or a pilot or a lawyer, something where they need gravitas. It's going to hold them back.
I know lots of people disagree but I like names that are nice but fairly vanilla; then the child can put their own stamp on it.
My son's name is relatively uncommon - a slightly different spelling was ranked 2390 on the boy's name list in 2011 and his spelling didn't appear at all on the list. Everyone comments on it though and says how much they like it, I can't envisage ever regretting it. (He's only 15 months though so there's still time!)
Cocolocopoco it isn't there name that will give them gravitas, it is the person, their being, their personality.
It's your attitude that will hold them back.
A decent, unbiased, non prejudice recruitment process won't be a problem.
Vanilla, however, is a lovely sounding name
I have an unusual name (just looked on Darkgreener and it's varied in rankings from 400-and-something and 700-and-something) and I love it! My middle name is even more ususual (between 0 and 13 with the name since 1996!)
I have to admit I felt a bit smug at school, college, uni, work when sooooo many of my friends had the same name! I'm quite a quiet, shy person but I still love that my name stands out, I feel like I'm lucky and not that I need to be brave!
A guess it depends a lot on the individual name though, my names aren't crazy or made up just not that popular!
I couldn't imagine giving my child a name that I thought was vanilla!
"A decent, unbiased, non prejudice recruitment process won't be a problem."
Absolutely. And you are going to make sure your little Chardonnay never comes up against any other sort of recruitment process exactly how?
We chose an unusual but easy to spell name for our dd, I remember when she was born it got mispronounced a few times, a few people mistook it for "Tallulah" which it was not and one junior doctor who was inspecting dd post birth kept calling her "he" until the nappy was off, lol! So it seemed to flummox the medical community and this made me wonder what we had in store. But everyone loves her name now and so does she. It is the best of both worlds, nobody else has the same name at either school she has been at but it is very easily spelt so no problems with that.
We went through the top ten pulsar girls names to find a "J" middle name as a lot of us have A "J" name in our family, our reasoning was that if she hated her first name she would have a nice common middle name if she wanted to use it instead. But she doesn't.
Top ten popular names, sorry.
You do realise that we'll all tell you to go for it, until you actually tell us the name and then we'll all pull faces and say how gross it is
All of mine were given unusual names 3 of them went on to become more mainstream. Two are still pretty unusual ds3 s name is unique. The thing is that after a while its not until you call them and people look surprised that you remember it's unusual.
I was a tiny bit cautious with dd2 name and did get some frankly rude comments but she's now two and a wild red head and any other name would be ridiculous.
It depends what you mean by unusual dosn't it? I for one hate some of these celeb baby names.
Good unusual: Savannah, Sky, Dante, Hectar
Bad unusual: Apple, Sunday, Moon unit!
I think that SOME parents choose unusual names to look cool but you do have to consider the child.
DD was born during Wimbledon and I LOVE the name Venus. When I realised that it rhymes with penis I decided not to go for it as I don't want her to have something else for kids to pick out at school.
She now has a fairly traditional although stunning and not at all common name (Lara).
We chose a really unusual name for our dd 17 years ago. All sorts of raised eyebrows it caused.
Guess what it was?
And our ds has just for the first time met somebody with the same nam as him- he's 12 and called Patrick.
I love the name apple! however I have ds so not been an issue. They have different first names but more common middle names which they can change to later if they want to. me and dh have common as muck names so wanted something different for my DC
A name is supposed to be unique, its supposed to identify you. I have one of those popular early 80s names and I hated it, the only good thing about it was it was a different spelling. But I loved that I had two middle names and an unuasl last name.
People go on about bullying because of the name, don't think its true anymore. Its not the name that gets bullied.
Also my manager is female has a very cutsey nn for her actual name, she's a high flier she's five years younger than me very succesful and determined her name has never held her back.
Go for it OP!
My dd has an extremely unusual name but it has a nickname that's a very widely used name in it's own right. We use the nickname mostly, but I still love her full name.
We have had some comments, I.e. did you make that up. I got asked by border control if I'd made it up
I say go for it. We're picking an unusual name for our baby (Theola, not made up just very unpopular). No one has liked it on the name boards and suspect family and friends will have similar views but it hasn't put me off. DH and I love it and I think that's what counts.
You could give your DC a more popular/usual middle name if you're worried so that they can always opt for that if they don't like their first name.
Once your DC has their name they will grow into it and once people are used to it they won't think it unusual at all, at least that's what I'm hoping!
Dd has an unusual name but not unheard of. When she was born and we told my dparents my DM said "Well, I suppose you can't choose what they name your grandchildren can you" with a sort of lemon sucking look on her face!
Haven't ever regretted the name. I absolutely love it and so does she
I don't like my name.
I think it's suited to youth not a haggard 34 year old I would prefer a grown up name now.
OP make sure the name will grow with the child, that's all.
My DD has a fairly unusual name and we DID have a regret about it during her first year.
her name is a bit like Marmite...we either got OH I LOVE that name! Or face pulling.
You have to prepare yourself that some people will pull a face or comment.
We're used to it now...we are glad we didn't change it or anything and she and her classmates love the name.
You DO need to be aware though...you have a responsibility to your child to name them well.
Think tiger makes a good point. You are an adult much longer than a little girl, think this is sometimes forgotten when naming babies
As long as your not considering satan or lucifer (or something along those lines) just go for it
What is it though?
It's not Satan, Lucifer, Vanilla, Moon or Maverick I promise. It's a proper name but very unusual, I think only 2 in the UK since 1998.
All the comments have given me the confidence to go for our choice. If people don't like it sod 'em
Just so long as it's not a cutesy name for a girl. It's tough enough for women to be taken seriously without being called TrixieBelle. They are babies for a year. Adults for 60 years.
Yes, go for it.
I have a mix of names for my DCs, one rare (but definitely a name IYSWIM), one middling that then exploded in popularity - not many amongst that DC's peers but oodles of younger ones, and one middling that stayed middling.
I don't regret any of them and still think they are all wonderful.
Agree with poster above:
Names are meant to be unusual as their purpose is to identify someone!
I know so many adult Clares and Steves and it gets confusing sometimes. Life would be easier and more interesting if more people had 'unusual' names.
I think [dons hard hat] that this "unusual name" is usually a parental ego trip.
If you want a name that you can guarantee is unique in a Reception class, then you only have to call your child Beryl or Trevor. Or Colin.
But no, unusual names have to be Fledgling or Sputnik or Strawberry. So people will say "oh, what free spirits those parents must be! No normal constraints of boring old common sense for them!"
<whispers- they don't you know!>
Colin is rather nice I think
seeker What make you think the OP isn't talking about a name like Beryl?
Unusual doesn't mean the same as crazy/out there! My name is unusual but is a name from one of my parents heritages and middle name is an old-fashioned family name, neither are silly or made up just not often used.
If you like it, and it is not so out there that dc will be likely to be bullied/ridiculed for it, go for it.
My DS2 has what was an unusual name, it has become a bit more popular since though far from common, but annoyingly I have seen it used as a girls name too recently.
No I don't regret it. So glad they are not one of several in the class, too popular names can become 'boring'.
i would go for it. my dc have lovely but traditional names. i was willing to be a bit more original - dh not.
is your name Seraphina by any chance?
Banana- because when people say "unusual" that's what they mean.
Hi. First time MN poster here! Two thoughts about unusual names: firstly having been saddled with difficult, foreign 1st & last names, it becomes really wearing, constantly having to spell/ explain every time. So unless your surname is straightforward, I might give the kid a break! Secondly, me & DP have only come up with one solitary girls name we both like so far (we don't know the sex yet) and it's been universally panned. People literally snort when we tell them. We think it's fab, but are reluctantly admitting defeat.
It's not really about whether you regret it though, it's about whether the kid hates their name.
Spot on. I hated my name as a child. As an adult I don't mind that it is unusual, but I still really dislike my name.
I really don't like alternative spellings though. A friend has called her little boy Konner. When he gets to school the teachers will think that his parents can't spell. She complains now that everyone spells his name wrong.
Oh, go on diasronaut- tell us. You know you want to!
Seeker - ok, but don't laugh. Alabama. We really liked the film True Romance & there's a character in it called Alabama Whirly (although she's not the kind of girl you'd want your daughter to take after).
The best anyone can say is, 'D'you mean it in an ironic way?'
So, back to square one!
Just be prepared to spell and correct pronunciation! DD has a mildly unusual name and it's only been pronounced correctly by a stranger once so far!
DD has an unusual name so she has two traditional middle names in case she hated it. She doesn't.
I love Seraphina!
DD has an unusual-ish name, outside top 300. Only met a couple of adults with her name and I love it.
I changed DD's name, her original one was more unusual still. I felt lacking in confidence saying her name, it made me feel pretentious. Could have been the galloping PND though.
birdofthenorth, is your DD Bess by chance? Love that name!
Depends what you mean by unusual.
I was given a very 'unusual' name - I've still never actually met anyone else with my name IRL and I'm 39. My parents gave me a nice, simple one-syllable middle name, so that I had a back-up in case I truly hated my first name enough not to want to bear it any longer. Although they actually only told me that was an option in adulthood - I probably would've taken it up, had I realised I wasn't going to horribly offend them...! I certainly never let on to them that I really disliked it. Most children who like their parents probably don't.
I never liked it growing up. Didn't think it looked nice written down and got everyone making the same 'hilarious' joke about being necessary on a bike (must've been in my teens before I even got the damn joke) the first time they met me.*
I'm named after both grandmothers (both of whom died before I was born) so I obviously don't apply this rationale to my own lovely parents...
But I do think that giving children very unusual names is incredibly self-indulgent and ego-trippy. But, you know, people do what they gotta do, own child be damned...
*My mind still boggles that the name is so popular now and the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction that people are starting to get bored of it from sheer over-use. <boggle>
I have an unusual name look here if your nosy
I have NEVER liked it and I always found it a bother having to spell it. & at age 43 it bugs the life out of me when I get letters addressed to MR as it is also unisex..
My children have what I would call unusual but not weird names (apart from dd1 whose name didn't appear on the top 100 list the year before she was born (feb birthday) and went in at highest riser the year she was born. All 4 have very traditional names but not names that are commonly in use. They have also all 4 got the traditional spelling.
I would not go for something over the top unusual However I dont mind actual names. Yours is not one "I" would pick but nor do I think OMG horrible..
My ds is 24 & i named him Levi.
Peoples reactions were very surprising. I didn't think it that unusual. We have met a few now & even a girl Levi.
Ds loves his name, never been an issue.
I love Herbie by the way!
Shelly I have a 22 yr old with Levi as his second name. His first name is even more unusual scored 0 on the name website.
A real name that is seldom used (like Beryl, or Ivo) is great imo.
"Unique" names not so much. Plus I have met 3 baby Cocos recently The mother of one did not look happy when I said I had met another with the same middle name too.
If you love the name you have to go for it, you'll only regret it. You'll never please everyone anyway. Distronaut I know an Alabama and have never known anyone to disparage the name. She is called Bam Bam as a nickname which is so cute. I don't want to give myself away on here but where I live there are some truly original names which barely raise an eyebrow. Paradise, Trilby, Ace and another that is like a certain wildcat. I could go on.
I have a very unusual name, and really like it. But it is a real name (dates back several hundred years), just not at all commonly used (so much so that it doesn't register in the stats - it's been mentioned here three times I think ever!). It has no teasing potential and it has a very common short version should I have ever wanted to be more anonymous.
I virtually always get a positive comment on my name, but it's still a bit wearing to always have to spell it out, and sometimes getting the 'what' response from receptionists etc.
My sister has as one of her middle names an equally unusual name which she absolutely hates, and for which my parents have apologised. Unusual is not always good!
If you really have found that a large number of people have disliked the name and that a high proportion of your friends/family will also dislike the name then yes I think you should think very carefully about it, because it's a bit sad to imagine your child introducing his/herself and having negative reactions more times than not.
It depends on what the brave unusual name is. And don't forget it isn't you who will have to brave the teasing it's your child.
Designjunkie: BamBam is so cute it's actually causing me to reconsider.
Trilby & Paradise, though, they're just erm, delightful. And if the type of wild cat is a Cougar, I think I'll cry.
I know a little Trilby too..... I thought it was a very unique name.
Go for whatever name you love. Three of my boys have "common" names, one is not all that unusual but a little unusual around here, he is the only one in his school. But all of their names are nice and suit them. Dd had, IMO the most beautiful name in the world. My aunt said it was a "mouthful" and I suspect some other people probably thought it was too but my aunt is known for being
rude "honest" . But then dd died and I was glad that her name was unusual, as I think I would have found it hard to meet other little girls with her name. Not that that should ever be a consideration, by the way, most babies will hopefully grow up to live long and healthy lives!
The other thing about a name being a consideration when doing job interviews etc ; my SIL had a boss who admitted to her after she had been working with him for a while that one of the reasons he had employed SIL was because she had gone to a "good" school, by which he meant a private school. But his snobbery didn't get him anywhere, in the end and the company folded. Perhaps if he had judged his employees on their skills rather than the names they had (Pretty sure he'd never have employed a Kaycie-May!) or the schools they went to, he might still be in business.
chipmonkey I'm really sorry to hear about yuor DD. So glad you choose a beautiful name that you loved and I'm sure was perfect for her.
I don't think the name we love is 'brave', it's an actual name but is very old and doesn't seem to be have been used in the last 80 years. The good thing is that it has some very normal, recognised shortenings so if DC really didn't like it they could easily use one of those.
Thanks for all the comments and advice, I think we're going to go for it!
Go with what you want. My mum wanted to call me Daisy but was persuaded against it by her mum who said it was a cow's name! That was in 1977 and these days you can't move without bumping into someone who's called their child Daisy. Just because something's unusual doesn't mean it will be forever so don't let that sway you.
Well, DD has a fairly normal name. Not a popular one though.
I have a damn weird name. I won't share it because I'm the only one on Google. And I've always loved it. It's not a pretty name, or an intellectual name, or a yoo-nique name. It's an old Celtic short form of a common classic name, a bit ugly-sounding if I'm honest. But I love having an odd name. It's been nothing but helpful in my career because I work through word of mouth and my name is memorable.
So yep. Go for it, I reckon.
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