changing 7 month old DD's name?

[thechickenwhisperer]

Just wondering what people think - is it too late/too weird?!

I had a name picked out for a girl from the moment I found out I was pregnant - name A (not going to tell you the actual names involved as I don't want opinions on the names to colour responses to the question). Never found out the sex from the scans (at DH's insistence) and I was convinced I was having a boy. DH liked name B for a girl, and I thought it was ok, but didn't pursue name A as i was so sure I was having a boy, so cocentrated my energies on trying to persuade DH to go for my boys' name choice.

After the very difficult birth I was quite out of it, and keen to choose a name quickly because she was in intensive care and I was secretly frightened that I might not have another opportunity to name her, so went with name B. I've regretted it on and off ever since.

Name B is widely regarded as pretty, but I feel uncomfortable with it; the spelling doesn't reflect the pronounciation and it just feels a bit wrong, to the extent that I actually avoid calling DD by her name. That's got to be bad hasn't it?

I've been thinking of changing it, since the night before she was registered, especially as I really think she suits name A, but keep thinking t's too late and a bit odd. Also, some acquaintances (friends of friends with whom I keeo in touch on Facebook) have a little girl 3 months younger who has name A, so it sort of feels like it would be unoriginal in that sense (or is that VERY silly?)

Thoughts gratefully received!

[maltesers]

Its not too late......but i think IMHO if you leave it any later then it is getting on the late side. Do you think little one knows her name already ?? They tend to by 8-9 months i reckon. If thats what you want to do then do it.

[Magalyxyz]

Yes it's not too late now, but in a few months it would be bordering on too late, so do it now if you want to.

My dc1's name still doesn't sit right with me and she's 7. I just have to accept its good points but it's not the name I would have chosen. It was m x's choice.

[Magalyxyz]

ps, I think you could just send a message to the mutual friends and tell them that you had two names on your short list and when your baby was born prematurely, you weren't ready and went with the wrong one. If they are at all understanding they won't think that you copied them! They're not close friends anyway. don't worry.

[Magalyxyz]

in your day to day lives I mean, that is the relevant bit, more than them being close close friends

[threeinthebed]

I don't think it's too late, or too wierd. You will be using DD's name for the rest of your life, so 7 months isn't very long in the grand old scheme of things! I changed DS's name at 5 months and am so glad that I did. I think I would have regretted it forever if we'd stuck with the original.

Perhaps you could keep name B as a middle name?

[maniacbug]

If it's been bugging you for the last 7 months, it will continue to do so!
I had a similar situation with ds2 - convinced we were having a girl so no serious discussion of boy's name A, then after emergency cs, me out of it due to massive blood loss, ds2 in intensive care, and a bit of well-meaning pressure from the hospital staff ("haven't you got a name for him YET?" 5 times a day) we just plucked random name B out of the air. Lovely name, NEVER felt right. I couldn't bring myself to use it, and it felt weird when others did. I changed it at 3 months. Amazed how easy it was (changed birth cert + health records), how quickly everyone else accepted it (including ds1 and dd - the strongest opposition) and what a massive relief it was. He's 7 months now, and a friend of my mum's referred to him as name B recently and it just felt so weird and wrong (although it is still his middle name! - if you do change, name B will still be on the long birth certificate so maybe as threeinthebed suggests keep as middle name?). Agree with maltesers too, if you're going to do it do it quickly! Could you set yourself a week or so to try it out before doing anything official (if you're worried you might regret changing it)?
Oh and don't worry about the friends - they'll get over it - she's your baby, and as someone said after we'd made the change: a lifetime is a long time to be calling her the wrong name. Good luck whatever you decide!

[eatyourveg]

what does your DH think about changing it? Would you keep name B as a middle name?

[Patsy99]

We changed DS's name on birth cert at 6 months. It was fine, everyone adapted easily with no fuss. We've no regrets about doing it.

Wouldn't worry about the facebook link, it sounds too remote to be an issue. Think maniac's idea about trying the new name out informally over the next week is a good one.

[threeinthebed]

I agree about about trying out the new name informally. This is what we did and I really felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders as soon as we started using the new name. Give it a try, and you will soon know which name fits

Let us know what you decide to do

[Lonnie]

What is your DH's feelings? If he loves the name then he may not be that keen

[thechickenwhisperer]

Thanks for the positive feedback all! Although DH doesn't really like name A because he thinks it's a pet name, not a 'real name', he has basically said i can do what i like (shame that wasn't his attitude when i was pg!), though we would keep name B as a middle name. Another reason I feel a bit torn is that name B was partly chosen because it's very similar to DH's late mum's name, so i feel a bit guilty about that, but logically it doesn't feel like a sufficient reason to persist with it. Anyway... Good suggestion re the try out period - will start today. I'll let you know next week!

[rollerbaby]

Do it!!!

[littledawley]

If name A is like a pet name, could you introduce it as such - start calling her it then, in time, add it to her birth cert as a middle name. My DD is known by a nickname that doesn't really relate to her actual name but by her first birthday everyone was using it and most addressed her cards as such.

[newmummy06]

I really hate my sons name as m x picked it, however i got used to it but IF i could have changed it, i would. do it noe before its too late xx

[grumpypumpkin]

I agree with Littledawley, just start calling her by the name A and add in somewhere to her name, maybe as middle name so that there is not such a fuss about changing it.
In these situations there is no right or wrong. It is up to you to make a decision, go with it, then make it the right decision. And sounds to me like, in your heart if hearts, you have already done that. Good luck!

[umf]

Don't worry about needing to be different from friends' children's names. Some friends of ours changed their DS's name (at around a year?). The father had never been happy with the original name. They changed it to the same name as our DS has. We didn't mind in the slightest. It's a nice name. They're much happier.

[going]

Change it, if it's bugging you now it will contiue to do so. You said you will keep old name as a middle name so there is still a link to MIL for your DH.