Can you use a name your friend has used?

[irisblue]

I am currently loving the name Sam for our baby boy who is due in July. However, a really good friend of mine had a little Sam last September.

Do you think this means we can't consider Sam? I have been thinking that I can't use it, although it gets so hard as so many lovely names have already been used by friends and family!

Also, it's not like it's an unusual name and personally I don't think I'd mind if it were the other way around...

If we were to use it, I would of course ask her first, but I don't think she'd say she minded, even if she did (if that makes sense!) - hence asking everyone here for their opinion.

What do you think?!!

[Manda25]

Don't see it as a problem. In our friends circle there are about 20 couples and there are 2 lots of Charlie's, Sam's and Harry's. Thing is for me is that you could make a new friend tomorrow who's children share your kids names

[horsemadgal]

I think it depends how often you see each other.

My second son's name is the same as my cousins son's, but they have never met as live in a different country.

If it was someone you see a lot of then I wouldn't.

[blueshoes]

Yes, unless the name is very unusual in which case it might be weird.

[Magaly]

If the name is Sam,Max,Ben,Jack then yes you can.

If you said Bruce or Victor, then I'd say no.

[scottishmummy]

no one owns or has dibs on name.anyone who gets arsey about their baby name is being stupid

[Magaly]

I wouldn't get ARSEY about it, but if a friend copied say, Howard, or Dougie or Dulcie, then they don't mind letting the World know that they have no imagination.

It's a two-sided thing. They have to be comfortable with their wider acquaintances assuming they've no imagination and like to copy people.

[scottishmummy]

egotistical to believe others choosing same name is copying or lame flattery

aye just keep telling self that

[scottishmummy]

anyhoo,samuel was a top 20 name2009.hardly unusual and pretty popular

[MamaLazarou]

As Magaly and blueshoes have said: if it's a name that's currently popular (as Sam is), then it's perfectly normal, and likely, that two friends will both use it. if it's a more unusual name, it would look a bit like one has copied the other, even if that is not the case.

[Bucharest]

No-one, AFAIK, has a copyrighted name.
(and all those kre8iv ones that might be seen as copying are bloody awful anyway)

And surely, a friend is more likely to share tastes anyway?

If a friend of mine told me they were calling their child, erm, Something Kre8iv and their favourite music was suddenly Gangsta Rap, then I'd be It's normal for friends to share similar tastes.

It's not normal to be weird about name-copying.

[scottishmummy]

LOL at notion of being so territorial about a name.no one copies a name.because no one has dibs on it

[Magaly]

that's ridiculous scottishmummy. two friends don't both indpenedently arrive at the SAME very unusual name, one shortly after the other. ONe puts the idea into the other's head. The idea-recipient may not feel as though they are copying, but another more daring person has made them look at an unusual name they wouldn't have considered before in a different light.

That happens to all of us all the time, adverts etc..

It's naive to think otherwise. It's not a crime to be influenced. But many people wouldn't want to ADVERTISE the fact that they didn't find a name that they on their own grew to like. They needed a go ahead to like the name.

It's just a question of what you're comfortable with. It's people's prerogative to NOT be comfortable with that.

LOL at you thinking everybody should see things the exact way you see them

[debaronz]

Yes, it's fine. If you like a name, then you can choose to use it. Names are not copyrighted, as Bucharest says.

[jellybeans]

I wouldn't

[remaincalm]

If you like a certain name then go for it. I have had a few people tell me the names that they want for their future children and that I can't use them (they are not even pregnant yet). If they had made any suggestions that I had on my list, I would not have decided against the name just because my non pregnant friend wants it too.
I would also be really pleased if one of my friends chose to call their baby the same name as my daughter as I would just think they have good taste too.

[scottishmummy]

no one has ownership of a name or can claim prior stake.and any i thought of it first/i liked it first/its mine all mine says a great deal about how facile some people can be

[lovechoc]

It's not something I'd personally do, I'd rather just choose a different name as there's so much choice out there anyway, why restrict yourself to just one name you like for your baby? Look around, see what other names you also like to the same degree.

If you are going to be seeing this friend and her LO alot, then IMHO it's not a great idea. Think how confusing playdates would get.

[scottishmummy]

confusing in what way?imagine a mum recognises her own child.perhaps same name takes different child home.oh no. easily done

[skidoodly]

If you think this issue is about ownership you are very thick indeed.

Nice work Maga but you are wasting your time.

[lovechoc]

if one mum is shouting 'sam!' then the likelihood is they'll both turn at the name being shouted.

some people have a real bug about this thread it seems, after posting several times repeating themselves...

[lovechoc]

exactly skidoodly - it's got absolutely nothing to do with ownership.

[MiniMarmite]

Friends of ours that had a baby shortly after us called their baby the same name as ours.

They told us before he was born that they wanted to use the same name and that they had chosen it early in the pregnancy - just to prepare us I guess.

Didn't bother us at all and it was really sweet of them to forewarn us.

[sunshiney]

If a friend of mine named their dd the same name as mine, I'd be flattered.

Providing they weren't someone I saw every day though. That might be a little strange, but even then I'd accept it. It's hard to find a name you love.

If you love the name it would be silly not to use it.

[scottishmummy]

"Think how confusing playdates would get" aye makes you look like the brains trust that does.same name and confusion reins.dearie me.wait til you have to think about something that really matters.then you will implode.if same names confuse you

[heymango]

I really wanted to use the same name as a close friend, but felt very awkward. However, my friend heard through our parents that I liked her daughter's name, so she phoned me to say that she didn't mind at all! I went for it!

Didn't feel too bad, as like Sam (gorgeous name, by the way) it is a very popular name. Had it been something highly unusual, I don't think I would have done the same.

Have also had friends though, who have fallen out over this issue - so it really depends on your friend.