Have you/would you change your baby's name at 6 weeks?

(13 Posts)
SoOverPeppa123 Tue 22-Nov-16 02:41:58

Ive been obsessing about my baby''s name every day since we named her. It was my oh''s choice and I went with it because I thought it was quite pretty and he didn't like any of my favourites.
But in retrospect I'm worried it's too popular and not unique or special enough for her. I also think the fact that 2 close family members said they disliked it a few days before she was named has swayed me (because surely if I loved it in wouldn't care?). Problem is I don't have a firm favourite for an alternative - and my oh refuses to discuss any more and just says I need to pick something and change it if I want to, but I've always thought a name choice should be a joint decision! I always thought choosing a name would be fun - but it's turned out to be really stressful. Help please!

sycamore54321 Tue 22-Nov-16 02:56:09

I'm not sure I like the relationship dynamic you are describing with your partner.

However, that is a separate issue to changing the name. I often say on here that it is the parents' responsibility to give a name to a nameless baby but after that, it is no longer the parents' right to change the name, as it isn't theirs any more. I would have hated if my parents chopped and changed my name, even at a very young age.

Does it help to realise that your arguments are contradictory? You say you dislike it because some family members said they disliked it, and then on the other hand you dislike it because it is too popular. If it is popular, then it is obviously liked above all other names by great numbers of people. An unpopular name would be disliked by a far greater number.

I also think it is totally different when someone says "oh I don't like the name Susan" in the abstract before the baby is born or named, and "I don't like that you have named her Susan". The first is probably giving one of a million opinions on one name amongst all others, and could simply mean that actually they quite like Susan but much rather Jane or whatever.

SoOverPeppa123 Tue 22-Nov-16 07:56:09

I think he's just fed up of me going on about it and says he just wants me to have the name I want so I'm happier. Probably made him sound horrible there but he's not.

What I meant by too popular is that its been popular for a long time so feels a little tired to me and not very original which I think is the reason my family members weren't keen on it either.

I was wondering more if anyone had been through something similar??

Footle Tue 22-Nov-16 08:37:50

Yes, long ago, after several months. No problem for anyone concerned.

BertrandRussell Tue 22-Nov-16 08:44:31

Your baby is unique and special. It doesn't matter if her name is one that a few other people have.

If you're getting very upset by this is it possible that you're a little depressed? It sometimes manifests
Itself in unusual ways. Worth thinking about.......

Gruffalosfriend Tue 22-Nov-16 08:51:08

Both your dh AND you need to love your dd's name! Sounds like you're not so sure, in which case I would continue looking. You have 12 months to change it, although I'd probably choose a new name sooner rather than later so as not to confuse your dd. Good luck!

BertrandRussell Tue 22-Nov-16 09:12:21

You really don't need to love the name, you know. You need to like it, obviously. But the gorgeous, special unique person who bears it will make you love it. Because you love everything about her!

I think it's sad that naming babies had become so stressful.

KlingybunFistelvase Tue 22-Nov-16 09:31:53

I agree with bertrand's last post, BUT, if you are really unhappy with the name I'd say changing it now is better than when she's older.

Fwiw, I felt similarly to you about my DD's name and was quite resentful of my DH's name choice. We didn't know what sex the baby was before she was born and had a deal; I would choose a boy name and he would choose a girl name which we both had to like. Finding names we both loved was impossible.

Anyway, I love the name now. It is considered quite boring by some people, as it's something which has never really gone out of, or been hugely in, fashion. I actually love it now for that exact reason and also because it's popular in pretty much every country we have visited. It travels really well. DD is a huge character and she doesn't need a bonkers name to make her special at all. I kind of like the fact her name is so sensible and she is an amazing little maverick (to me).

SoOverPeppa123 Tue 22-Nov-16 11:49:11

Thanks for your supportive messages all! I think you're right about how we will grow to love any name she has because it'll be hers (with the exception of a god awful one of course!)
Also agree that it needs to be a joint decision and dh can't just tell me to go and decide on my own that's not fair.

Any tips on how we can restart our search and make the right decision together?
He has agreed to using the middle.name instead which is one of my favourites but I know he doesn't really like that name so that option doesn't feel right either.

Was thinking of asking him to come up with 5 - 10 alternatives and me the same and if we have one that matches - go with that - if not just keep the current name?

BertrandRussell I don't think I am depressed I just think I'm struggling with it as it feels like such a major decision to me and I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I will bear that in mind though smile.

Vango Tue 22-Nov-16 12:02:10

I wouldn't focus too much on finding a name you both love. I really didn't like the name my DH chose for our first DS. But we were running out of time and I couldn't come up with an alternative that I liked either. 15 years later, I can say in all honesty that it is a magnificent name and suits him to a T. He's really grown into his name and it always gets a positive reaction.

Soon2bC Tue 22-Nov-16 12:21:04

My mum changed my DSIS name when she was a baby as we moved to small street where there were 4 other babies with the same name.

was easy for her to do, but when DSIS NI Card came just before her 16th birthday it was in her 1st name not the name she had been raised with (despite everything else being in new name)

My DSIS was at that teenage place where she hated everything and decided she loved the original name and we were all to call her that. 20+ years later she still uses the original name and we try to call her that but i still have to stop and think to not call her the name she grew up with

both names were 'common' at the time and i would argue that the name she grew up with is rarer now than the one she chose to live with.

auntym Wed 23-Nov-16 10:48:08

Change it to something you love, it's a word you'll say every day for the rest of your life. I did and it was a 2 week wonder (it was talked about for 2 weeks then it was accepted and forgotten). I kept the original name as another middle name as felt it had been part of DS's early self iyswim. Good luck!

user1479835256 Wed 23-Nov-16 16:04:39

I wouldn't worry about originality. This modern obsession of going to ridiculous lengths to choose names nobody else has flies in the face of all the research in to the effect names have. If you want to be successful in business, successful at job interview and popular at school. Have an ordinary name. There are more Emma's at Cambridge than any other name.

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