Has anyone let their DH have a name they LOVE amd regretted it

(21 Posts)
MrsChrisPratt Sun 25-Sep-16 10:18:39

I am 14.5 today and obviously very early to be thinking names, but it's taken a long time to get to this point so we pretty much have names picked out.

DH loves Ted for a boy, which I do think is very cute and goes well with our surname. It is also a 'family' name on his side, which I like the idea of (am quite traditional). However it would be just Ted, no longer name. I am generally of the opinion (for myself, not judging anyone else) that I'd like my child(ren) to have 'full' names and go by a shortening. In this case the options are Edward, Edmund, Theodore....none of which DH is keen on hmm

I don't feel passionately strongly about this and neither does DH so we could both live with the other's suggestion but just not sure what to do.

This could all be academic anyway as we may have a girl.

I am wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and what did you do? Did you regret it? Middle name almost certainly James for a boy by the way.

MrsChrisPratt Sun 25-Sep-16 10:19:56

Dammit, typo in the thread title blush

Penhacked Sun 25-Sep-16 10:25:49

Do the long name. You are right.

I regret dh choice of name a bit although he has grown into it for sure.

misson Sun 25-Sep-16 10:27:19

Ted is lovely. I agree though that giving a full name with Ted everyday might help as he gets older.

Dh chose the middle name for dd. It's a family name from his side. As a name, I don't like it. I find it a bit 'wet'. Then his family have adapted dd's name to include it. Irritates me and upsets dd. 'Why do they call me xx mummy. It's not my name'.

So yes, different situation to you but I do sympathise. Choose a name you both like, that has something of both of you in it. Fwiw I love her first name.

NameChange30 Sun 25-Sep-16 10:29:34

You both have to like the name.

Will the child have your DH's surname? If so they will already have a name from his side of the family. So it's not essential to give the child a first name from his side as well. Not unless you love the name for its own sake.

foxessocks Sun 25-Sep-16 10:34:01

We had this issue when picking a name! Dh wanted Alex but I wanted Alexander on the birth certificate whilst dh wanted just Alex. I also like Ted but would have wanted Edward on the birth certificate but dh said that was silly if we were just going to call him Ted. In the end we went for something totally different that can't be shortened at all! grin i would compromise rather than risk regretting it. You've got lots of time to come up with alternatives after all!

OhTheRoses Sun 25-Sep-16 10:36:26

Edward on birth certificate, Ted as nn/known name. Goes beautifully with James wink

MoreGilmoreGirls Sun 25-Sep-16 10:40:23

I would go with Edward James on birth certificate too. I think Ted James does not go as well.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Sun 25-Sep-16 10:53:40

I love Edmund James (Ted).
How about Edwin James.

Applesauce29 Sun 25-Sep-16 10:54:32

Ted is lovely but please do consider what it will be like for your child as an adult, particularly if they want to go into a professional career. Full name on birth certificate is better for this reason.

I once worked for a Jamie (big 4 consultancy) and he was constantly getting "isn't that a nickname" / "Jamie's a child's name". He was only manager level and some people (prejudiced I know) said it held him back in terms of career progression as just not seen to be as serious to clients.

MrsChrisPratt Sun 25-Sep-16 10:55:02

We do both like the name. smile Dh feels strongly about the boys name and me about the girls but we both agree on both amd ot feels kind of 'fair' as we've input equally to the decision, nature will have the final say! And it's me who likes the idea of a family name...The baby will have our surname (I took DHs when we married as had my horrible step dad's name before and definitely wasn't keeping it,couldn't wait to get rid!).

Thanks for the I put so far.

Sprink Sun 25-Sep-16 11:07:49

I once worked for a Jamie (big 4 consultancy) and he was constantly getting "isn't that a nickname" / "Jamie's a child's name".

How fecking rude.

He was only manager level and some people (prejudiced I know) said it held him back in terms of career progression as just not seen to be as serious to clients.

How discriminatory.

Not impressed. <sniff>

chinlo Sun 25-Sep-16 11:23:00

I just don't see the argument against a full name on the birth certificate to be honest. Gives him way more options when he grows up, but you still get to call him Ted his whole life anyway.

Theodore James has a lovely ring to it.

MrsChrisPratt Sun 25-Sep-16 11:31:03

I have a diminutive traditional male name as a full name and have never felt it's held me back, but I just feel it's nice to have the option of a more traditional full name if possible. I have worked in big 4 and investment banking as well, so definitely comparable to 'Jamie' in the example. Unfortunately you get snobs everywhere, same as you get nice, accepting people everywhere too!

OhTheRoses Sun 25-Sep-16 12:50:47

What you put on the birth cert or call your son as a nick name,has no bearing upon what he will be called by his friends. DS is 21. I'll pm you.

VinoTime Sun 25-Sep-16 13:10:14

I'm of the personal belief that you should choose a name you both love. I know that can be incredibly difficult when you both like different names, but this is a name you will find yourself saying/thinking many, many times a day, every day for the rest of your lives. It's a big decision.

My XP and I couldn't agree on names at all. I'm more traditional and he was quite 'out there' with his choices - he liked River for a boy, for example. I liked Henry. Fortunately he buggered off never to be seen again long before DD arrived so I got to pick the name I loved! WIN for Vino gringringrin

Is there a chance of shelving name talk until you can find out the baby's sex? Doing this will literally half you name arguments wink Or do you not want to know? If you don't love the name, I'd hit the drawing board again and find some alternatives.

Congrats by the way! flowers

GoNorthDarren Sun 25-Sep-16 13:16:55

DH chose a girl name and I chose a boy name when I was pregnant with DD (didn't find out the sex till she arrived). I wouldn't say I regret it per se but I do wish we had agreed on a name for each sex which we both totally loved instead. I did like her name; we discussed it beforehand approved of each other's choices. I love it now as it is her name. It suits her and it has really grown on me, but if I could go back in time I would have done it a bit differently.

Sophronia Sun 25-Sep-16 16:23:16

Your DH might like Ted as a nn for Edwin, Edgar or Thaddeus?

Madbengalmum Sun 25-Sep-16 17:26:28

I would use Edward James if i had a boy. Lovely.

JacquettaWoodville Sun 25-Sep-16 17:31:34

If your DH is getting his preferred name, then you having the longer name on the birth certificate seems a good compromise!

eastcoastmum2014 Mon 26-Sep-16 20:07:42

I think its best to give the child the option and put a long name on the birth certificate! I am known by a nickname- I have been for as long as I can remember, however, I appreciate being able to use my long name on job applications etc, I wouldn't want to put my nickname on there and its no hassle to tell people my nickname when I meet them! My daughter has a full name but I'm pregnant with a little boy, we will be calling Albert, with lieu to calling him Albie. It means he has both options and he can decide what he wants when he is older 😊 congrats on your baby!! I hope you find a name you both love!!

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