Baby Names - why are some people so rude?

(152 Posts)
Metrobaby Mon 17-May-04 12:41:37

OK a bit of a rant here. My ds was nameless when he was born, but now 3 weeks on dh and I finally compromised on a name - Isaac.

Now I know whatever name you pick there will always be people who like it, and other people who don't. However, I am really surprised by some people's reactions to the name we chose. I've had some that have laughed, someone who asked if I was serious, someone who said 'oh dear', MIL who decided she's going to call him Ben (one of our considered alternatives) regardless, and my family who keep coming up with alternatives.

It just makes me fume - especially as I don't think the name we chose is that unusual. If people don't like the name why can't they keep their opinions to themselves? Or am I odd in that I would never dream of telling anyone that their baby's name was not nice?

I think I could do with one of Twinkie's famous put down lines ...

nikcola Mon 17-May-04 12:43:01

i think its a nice name and if you like it dont worry sbout evertone else!

bundle Mon 17-May-04 12:44:02

it's a lovely name. but even if I *knew* baby Apple & her mum (she may be a lurker) I wouldn't tell her I disapproved, it's her (permanent) choice for her child and it would be extremely rude to say so. a euphemism might be "oh that's unusual" but that would be it. Isaac is not unusual, it's having a real come back. IMO your MIL needs telling that Ben is not acceptable. it's not his name, is it? what about changing hers? to Dennis or something? she wouldn't like it, would she?

Helsbels Mon 17-May-04 12:45:45

I think Isaac is a lovely name - traditional and modern - can be updated to Zac or Ike if you like. People haven't got enough problems of their own in my opinion. If I was you I would just say 'thank you - we think it is a perfect name for him, too' - whatever their comment. We can't decide on a name for our new baby (due July) don't know if it's a boy or a girl but one thing I am sure of is that we will decidesomething betweeen us and the rest of the world can whistle if they don't like it. Congratulations on the birth of your son, BTW {{}}

dinosaur Mon 17-May-04 12:46:10

Whaaat? Well I think it's a lovely name! And I completely agree that it's outrageous for people to comment adversely!

katierocket Mon 17-May-04 12:46:44

this is one of my bugbears metrobaby. It is just so rude of people to comment like that and I can't believe people do actually.

my friend chose a really unusual name for her little girl and she had so many negative reactions including people telling her she'd spelt it wrong, didn't she think it was a bit mean for the child etc etc

It's not for anyone else to say negative things about your choice of name:
a) Isaac is a lovely name
b) tell them straight out that you would prefer them not to say negative things about it as it upsets you.
c) start calling MIL 'Doreen' (assuming Doreen isn't her name) - say "well I just prefer it to your real name thanks"

motherinferior Mon 17-May-04 12:47:59

Whaaaaaaat??? Lovely name. My nephew is called Isaac. So are lots of lovely boys.

SoupDragon Mon 17-May-04 12:50:12

I love Isaac too (unless your surname is Hunt).

I agree - start calling your MIL by some other name Alternatively, say you've decided they're all right and you've decided to go with Tarragon instead of Issac.

I think I's also use "That's unusual" if I were a bit taken aback by someone's choice of name.

Twinkie Mon 17-May-04 12:50:45

Oooohhhh - how about MIL his name is Isaac and if you don't stop calling him Ben I will make sure he calls you witch - I mean I know its not your name but I feel it sums up your personality better than ***** (Insert name here).

Or just everytime she calls him Ben just say really loudly and with a complete attitude - his name is Isaac till she gets the message - after all with all those hormones you cuold probably get away (legally I mean here) with far more then just sounding llike you have an attitude - VIOLENCE!!!

I would go bonkers Metrobaby - how dare she Isaac is a lovely name, mind you if a friend called her baby Apple I would have to ask her what she was playing at - that is just plain fruity!!

DP and I have decided on Max (I have to keep this a secret though so none of you know right!!) and I really don't care if no one likes it I DO!!!!

libb Mon 17-May-04 12:52:27

Metrobaby, you have my complete sympathy - we have had exactly the same response with naming our litle boy. It isn't very nice when both of you are feeling a little vulnerable and bewildered by the whole thing anyway.

We think we have finally settled on Reuben but the reaction from some people has been a bit disheartening to say the least - yesterday we told a couple who came to visit and they still spent half an hour coming up with alternatives. I had to remind them, a little sharply, that his name had been decided! (at least I can blame my hormones rather than the fact that they can both be flipping irritating).

I think Isaac is gorgeous by the way . . .

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 12:52:31

I think I would say " you get the piles and you choose the name"

taramac Mon 17-May-04 12:53:26

I know the feeling. I have 2 ds's called Elijah and Caleb and had a really hard time with our families about and get a lot of people who for some reason can't pronounce them!! Its very irritating when people feel they can comment on your choice of names and Iwouldnt dream of saying anything negative to someone about their choice.

binkie Mon 17-May-04 12:54:51

Isaac is lovely. If you want a non-put-down answer, I used to deflect comments on ds's name by saying it had special family meanings (never needed to say what!) - & people were then somehow more enthusiastic so I could forgive them for commenting in the first place.

It's tricky though, people aren't always good at managing the response even if they don't mean to be rude. On the other hand, I think the "so what I'm going to call him x" response - is REALLY rude.

Pidge Mon 17-May-04 12:55:28

That is bonkers ... first of all Isaac is a lovely name and secondly even if you called him Cabbage or Filofax people should butt out.

jimmychoos Mon 17-May-04 12:57:20's a gorgeous name - my ds is Isaac! Both sets of parents were non-plussed at the time (we found out later) but both love it now, so stick to your guns. What could be nicer than a name that means happiness - I see it is having a rennaissance now - was in top 100 names this year for the first time. I don't understand the fuss about kids names to be honest - the kids I know with more unusual names really love them, don't get teased about them at all. It would be very dull if we were all called Sarah or John (no offense to either intended!)

Jaybee Mon 17-May-04 12:58:39

Some people are so rude - sod them is my attitude and choose the name you like after all he is your child. I think Isaac is a lovely name. As far as your mil is concerned just tell her that you were considering Elvis or Norris but have decided on Isaac after all. Apparently, my grandad did this when my sister was born, he said he would call her by her middle name as he didn't like her first name. My mum told him that he would call her xxxx because that is her name - nothing more was said and he always called her by her name.

Piffleoffagus Mon 17-May-04 13:00:14

My son should have been Gabriel but so many people looked horrifed I went back to the drawing board and 7 weeks later named him.
Wish I had stuck to my guns at times.
And Isaac is a lovely name!

bundle Mon 17-May-04 13:04:17

v subtle twinkie

Metrobaby Mon 17-May-04 13:05:05

LOL Twinkie. Max is a lovely name - as is your dd's (I think I mentioned it when I saw you last)

Libb - I really liked to call ds Reuben too - but unforuntately dh wasn't too keen We also liked Caleb too taramac.

I considered calling him an Asian name (Roshan) - but MIL got really scared by that and claimed she couldn't pronounce it. Which is odd as she can say mine which is quite difficult to pronounce.

sponge Mon 17-May-04 13:05:45

Is it just coincidence that the names people are saying they've had trouble with are Jewish names? Are these people secret racists as well as ignorant tw*ts?

dinosaur Mon 17-May-04 13:06:54

I wondered that sponge!

I know an Isaac who has a Jewish dad and a Muslim mum.

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 13:07:18

the piles line any good? will embarass FIL

Janh Mon 17-May-04 13:13:11

I think it is coincidence, sponge. Half the boys' names in those top 100 lists are Biblical (ie Hebrew originally) and most people don't have a problem with Daniel, Michael, Joseph, Samuel, Matthew, Peter etc etc etc - well, except for the ones who seem to think they were only sent here in order to tell other people what they're doing wrong.

soupie, LOL about Hunt, that was my first thought too!

piles line?

FWIW I also love the name Isaac. We got quite a negative response from my dad when we said we were going to call dd Frederick (freddie) if she was a boy. He said it reminded him of and old man and couldn't we call him something nice like Oliver ROFL! We just laughed at him and reminded him that he had HIS go at naming HIS kids 30+ year ago (and in fact if he had had his way my bro would have been Quatermass Ignatius and I would have been India, so thank god for mothers eh?)

jimmychoos Mon 17-May-04 13:21:43

lol at Quatermass Ignatious - seriously?

smellymelly Mon 17-May-04 13:25:36

My ds is called Isaac - and I have only ever had good responses. Apart from people not being able to spell it right. He was called that from the day I knew he was a boy (22 weeks pregnant).

Go for it. There are only a very few of them around, and it is not too unusual to be thought of as weird!!

lazyeye Mon 17-May-04 13:26:35

I really find it odd as well that pple think they can pass comment. It so rude...Even if I didn't like the name and I *do* like Issac btw, I would never, never say anything. Everyone gets a chance to name their children, so sod 'em I say.

Bloody rude, no 2 ways.

My sis doesn't like my current fav for no3. If she says any more I won't be able to hold myself back.........

jimmychoos he felt that a man should have a memorable name (bloody weirdo)

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 13:29:01

By coddycodcod on Monday, 17 May, 2004 12:52:31 PM

I think I would say " you get the piles and you choose the name"

jimmychoos Mon 17-May-04 13:42:56

It's funny that this is going on here while everyone is being rude on the celeb baby name thread. I do quite like Apple actually

Hulababy Mon 17-May-04 14:14:43

I like Isaac I don't think it is that unusual either and have taught more than a couple in my 8 years at secondary schools.

I think it is rude to say to someone's face that you dislike their choice of name, and quite out of order.

binkie Mon 17-May-04 14:14:52

metrobaby, I really like Roshan too - will he have it as a middle name?

marialuisa Mon 17-May-04 14:28:11

i have a cousin called Isaac, I think it's a great name, not everyday but not so unusual he's going to be miserable at school.

DD has an unusual (in the UK) name and the "hilarious" comments and misspellings....

I like the idea of calling your MIL Doreen, to make your point.

Crunchie Mon 17-May-04 14:32:01

Well I know someone called Ignatius Anthony and I have never thought it odd.

frogs Mon 17-May-04 14:44:40

We've had this too, with dd2, who has a completely non-unusual but fairly classic name.

My in-laws liked dd1 and ds's name, but obviously aren't wild about dd2's name, as every time they phone, they ask dh: "So what are you calling her?' to which he replies, " Well *****, cos that's her name..."

busybee123 Mon 17-May-04 14:46:06

I HATE my name.....Bryony URGH!!!! My children are called Max, Abigail and Ethan.......we have had loads of comments about Ethans name and why we picked one so odd, and then I get comments about 'why did you give him such a geeky middle name?!' well i'm sorry, but people really should think about commenting on names, as Ethan has my dads name, Kevin as his middle name. My dad died when i was 13 so its the only thing I have left to give my dad....RANT RANT!!!! Issac is a lovely name, and at the end of the day, its you thats going to be on the doorstep shouting him to get in at night when he is older, not the inlaws!!! Stick to your guns. Everyone in our family hated the names we chose but have come round to them the end of the day...what choice have they got?

Ignatius v cool name IMO. Iggy.

dinosaur Mon 17-May-04 15:00:29

Ignatius IS very cool...hmmm...wonder if I could convince've got me thinking now...

Trouble is you need a cool surname to put with it - like Pop...

KateandtheGirls Mon 17-May-04 15:41:19

I would be fuming of my MIL said something like that. I do like the idea of calling her Doreen though!
My daughter is Fiona and for some reason my MIL insists on calling her "Noni". I have no idea where she got it from. No-one else shortens her name like that. The rest of us call her Fi or Fifi. I haven't broached the subject with her though. I'm hoping she'll stop when Fiona gets a little older.

KateandtheGirls Mon 17-May-04 15:42:35

fuming IF, I meant.

serenequeen Mon 17-May-04 15:43:39

ignatius, veeerrry catholic, jesuit in fact... have you read "a confederacy of dunces".

coddycodcod Mon 17-May-04 15:44:35

Ignatius is a hilarious name IMO!
imagine shouting that across the playgorund when he was naughty. or maybe he wouldnt br told off r ever!

someone near here has a Max she calls maximilaian when he is bad,

has me in silent mirth every time

busybee123 Mon 17-May-04 16:02:07

i call my max maxwell or maximilian when he is naughty as well!!! even though he just has max on his birth certificate!! poor thing cringes like mad!!!

Tinker Mon 17-May-04 16:08:43

Ignatius and Aloysious (sp?) were 2 of the names that the boys in my class all picked as confirmation names - for the 'not taking it seriously' factor

MrsDoolittle Mon 17-May-04 16:12:24

For what its worth, I think Isaac is a lovely name too

littlemissbossy Mon 17-May-04 16:30:21

Isaac's a lovely name, and IME not that unusual, I know two others! If people make rude comments just say something like "it's ok, TBH it comes as no surprise that you don't like the name Isaac, after all it means "laughter" and as you have no sense of humour ..."

Davros Mon 17-May-04 16:37:44

Ignatius is quite usual as a confirmation name but how about Benignus? I knew someone who had that as his confirmation name and we used to call him Benny to annoy him

Oh, and my aunt's Maria Assumpta

Love from Doreenx (NOT!)

Tommy Mon 17-May-04 17:10:46

When my nephew was named Jacob my (church going, Catholic all her life) Grandmother said "Where did they find that name?".....there's no pleasing some people!
BTW Isaac was on our shortlist for DS2!
Metrobaby - I think (especially with the day I'm having) I would tell MIL to shove Ben up her **** and she'll call your son the name you've given him!

gscrym Mon 17-May-04 17:14:47

Tell your MIL that if she wants to call someone Ben then why didn't she name one of her children that.
Isaac is a lovely name. If she wants a say in a childs name then tell her to go have another one.

Quatermass Mon 17-May-04 17:24:36

A friend recently named her dd something a little strange. Not on any names list anywhere, and when you look at it written down you could never guess the pronunciation. I smiled, said oh how lovely, made sure I knew how to pronounce it right, and thats that. We'll all get used to it and I'm sure the child will love her unusual name. Dh has a wierd name (don't know anyone else with it, no one can ever pronounce it) and he loves it.

And as everyone says, Isaac isn't even unusual. When you think of the Biblical names you could have picked. Abednego, Issachar, Eliphelet ...

(and if anyone has used or is thinking of using any of those, all I can say is, Oh how lovely)

eefs Mon 17-May-04 17:25:22

Metrobaby - your MIL's reaction is a bit mad isn't it! It really made me laugh - reminds me of a monty pyton sketch.

DS2's name is really unusual and we were nervous about using it - but as we both loved it we went ahead - I can't believe how rude some people have been about it though it's none of their bloody business!

I love the idea of calling your MIL a random different name everytime she call's your DS Ben (noeleen / fennella / concepta / agnes / etc you could work through the alphabet)

gscrym Mon 17-May-04 17:27:45

Also reminded me of Wilkl and Grace when Will's friend Clare wanted him to father her baby. Jack didn't like Clare as a name so called her Bettina.

hmb Mon 17-May-04 17:34:40

Well the Puritans would open the Bible point to a phrase, and that would be the poor kids name. One poor sod was called Job Raked Out The Ashes.

butwhatdoiknow Mon 17-May-04 17:39:03

All the boys names I liked when I was pregnant - one of which was Isaac, were rejected by my dp as too Jewish.

I didn't really understand - I mean they were biblical but so is John and Paul but he liked them.

I liked Ezra, Elijah, Jacob and Isaac.

Anyway we had a girl, and we did call her Cabbage.

rsv1000r Mon 17-May-04 17:41:51

How rude of people, at least there won't be 3 or 4 Isaac's in his class at school - I think it is nice to have an unusual name, both my kids have unusal names - all you have to say to adverse comments is "well we like it"

gyscrym we had a cleaner called Bettina. WE called her Bettina the cleaner (of course) and to make it even better she was Polish (as in mr sheen)

Quatermass are you my brother?

Angeliz Mon 17-May-04 18:15:35

Haven't read this thread, just the original post.
Metrobaby, i LOVE that name

Nutcracker Mon 17-May-04 18:38:41

Why too, do men not understand the importance of finding out a new babies name.

Dp went to the chippie the other day and said to me 'that lady from nursery was in there and she's had her baby, a girl so and so weight e.t.c e.t.c.'
BUT he never asked the babies name. That was all i really wanted to know.

Tinker Mon 17-May-04 18:38:45

Aren't you in Sheen CD?

Davros - we had a Sister Mary Benignus at our school - got called SM Big Knickers of course.

I don't think Isaac is very unusual - know of 2.

Tinker Mon 17-May-04 18:41:03

I remember when my mum was in hospital about 4 weeks after my daughter was born. She told someone there the name of her new granddaughter and she (the stranger) went "Urgh". I have to laugh at such open rudeness.

Oh yes Tinker I am! But at the time was in Putney, or was it Chiswick. So long ago I can't remember!

Jimjams Mon 17-May-04 20:27:58

I like Isaac- it has just been added to my boys list....

twiglett Mon 17-May-04 20:32:05

message withdrawn

misdee Mon 17-May-04 20:42:02

I lvoe the name Issac. if dd2 had been a boy she would have been Issac.

eddm Mon 17-May-04 21:03:09

I know an Isaac too and think it is a lovely name. His parents are shortening it to Zac but obviously when he's older he can go for the full effect if he likes.
Ds has a Welsh name (both grandfathers are Welsh). Mixed response. Thought we'd gone easy on him by giving him the English spelling (is fairly common as a surname) but you would not believe the number of people who can't get their heads round it and insist on calling him by a similar Irish name. Does the letter 'v' really sound like 'u'? I think not!
Am so sick of explaining that Welsh names are reflexive so originally you would be (English translation) David son of Owen; your son would be Owen son of David; so we get David and Owen as first names and Davies and Owens as surnames, etc. etc....

WedgiesMum Mon 17-May-04 21:21:31

My DS is Izaak, and it is IMHO a wonderful name. Most people can spell it right, but MIL refuses to learn how to spell it right, although she absolutely adores him. He is funny about people's names though, if he doesn't like someones name he will call them something else, for example my sisters DH is called Jon, but DS calls him George and refuses to acknowledge he's called anything else. And he calls one of DH's friends 'That Burglar' for some reason best known to himself. DD would have been Reuben if she had been a boy.

Paula71 Mon 17-May-04 22:51:44

Since when did Isaac become unacceptable? It is a good solid name(IYKWIM) My ds twin2 is Adam (another old name), ds twin1 is Niall (old but more unheard of outside Ireland.)

On hearing the names a couple of times I have heard the comment "why did you pick such a boring name like Adam." Just because it is popular now but it has personal meaning to me.

MIL is just being an MIL, like others have said call her by another name, see how she likes it.

collision Mon 17-May-04 23:04:50

After telling everyone what we were calling ds I have decided to keep quiet with the new baby name! My father was such a pain and everything we came up with he had a problem with. People are SO rude and it is nothing to do with anyone else. Ds is Max and our surname begins with 'N' and so my father said everyone would call him Mac Sn.......!! Fool!! I was really cross and have will not tell him the names we have for this one! FWIW I think Isaac is lovely.

mummytojames Mon 17-May-04 23:58:20

when some people found out i was calling ds james i got the its a very traditional name (as in old fashion) couldnt you think of anything else so i always say the same thing its my fathers middle name and if its good enough for him its good enough for my son people need to think beefore they speak but in one aspect some people got to realise that there name is the first thing they learn to spell so some of the realy weired names can make it harder for the child in later life but isaac and nice traditional name easy to spell and sounds cute aswell oh and congrats on the birth

toddlerbob Mon 17-May-04 23:59:46

I wanted Isaac for ds and I actually think it would suit him more than Bob. But dh didn't like it and that's fine, he is the only other person with a say.

My MIL calls Bob anything except Bob (even tried Berty a couple of times, which has drawn horrified looks). Her reasoning is that she can't bear it, it reminds her of old men, dogs and builders. Tremendous, that could explain why she can go weeks without seeing him even though she lives in the same town.

She won't call my dh by his prefered shortening of his name either. I on the other hand am super good at correcting people who call her Grandma (she chose Gran.)Maybe you need to call her whichever version of Grandma most annoys her, or call her Grandad or Auntie.

She absolutely can't call him Ben, it's not his name!

Ghosty Tue 18-May-04 01:44:22

Metrobaby ... I haven't read all the other replies but my blood is boiling for you ... especially about your MIL - how rude!!!!
I had a similarish experience when DS was born ... I wonder how I can explain without giving away his name?
We named him ... and with his name there are a few shortened versions so we stated which 'version' he was to be. Then a couple of friends of ours diminutised it to a version I didn't like and they kept calling him that. Even when I asked them not to. I was really upset by it as I felt that they had no respect for my choice of name for my own son ... it still makes me mad when I think about it today ...
I know we have all joked about 'Apple' but really whatever anyone chooses to call their child is their call and THAT is THAT!!!
I would never dream of telling someone that I didn't like their choice of name either ...
PS FWIW ... I think Isaac is a wonderful name

nightowl Tue 18-May-04 02:39:55

when i was having dd i didnt tell anyone the name i was thinking of as i didnt want their negative input influencing it happened she was a week old anyway before she had her unusual name. I have heard it before but only in books etc. when people ask they either beam at me straight away and say "oh that is SUCH a beautiful name" or they look a bit shocked & go "er, ohh, er, well thats er very unusual isnt it?" (roughly translates as "ewwweee, dont like it" sod them though, i like it and it suits her.

nightowl Tue 18-May-04 02:41:05

howd that winkie get there!!!????

august24 Tue 18-May-04 08:28:26

I had a favorite Aunt name Lavinia and I really wanted one of my girls to have that name, everyone was totally opposed to it. The deciding factor for me was when I told a good friend's sister that I wanted to name my baby Lavinia and she said(I kid you not) "Lavinia that sounds just like Chlamydia" and that sort of put me off the name forever! People can be so rude!

Fio2 Tue 18-May-04 08:29:36

I got told that my ds's name was girly. I dont know why people have to comment

Egypt Tue 18-May-04 08:33:17

one of our choices for baby if its a boy is Isaac. I have an Isaac in my class at school (teaching) and it is a lovely, lovely name. However, had a call from my sister the other day to tell me that she had something on her mind...."one of the names you are thinking of" - yes Isaac! couldnt believe she had the gaul to ring me and tell me that! shouldnt say what she said about it, but was quite racist, and said she would have a problem telling people that her nephew was called Isaac. Felt she would have to immediately explain that his father was white!!!!!!!!! and English!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am fuming.
I really don't want my family to dislike my baby's name, but at the same time - how rude????????

You go for it metrobaby. (havent told dh this story as he would probably go mad)
thinking of sending her this thread actually

aloha Tue 18-May-04 09:25:45

Busybee, I think Bryony is a pretty name.
Isaac is a nice name and as people have said, not even that unusual. I know a couple too. Classic and simple and abbreviates well.

Davros Tue 18-May-04 09:35:38

I think if you give a child a name that can be shortened itsn naive to think that people won't shorten it, especially at school where you have no influence. Best to pick a name you like all the versions of. MILs who use completely different names are another kettle of snakes though!

Janh Tue 18-May-04 09:41:36

Wedgiesmum, LOL at "That Burglar"

(Stripy T-shirt and sack labelled SWAG? Looks like Burglar Bill?)

How old is DS?

toddlerbob Tue 18-May-04 09:42:26

Davros you are right, I was naive, especially given that my MIL doesn't use the prefered version of dh's name. We do like all the versions of Robert - it's why we chose it. If he comes home from school with any of them (possibly except Berty) I would be happy. Next time though I am going for a name that can't be changed by her.

susanmt Tue 18-May-04 11:04:44

We got a funny reaction from some of dh's family when we called our ds Aidan. It was only after a few days that we realised it is seenin N.Ireland as a 'catholic' name! Well thy just had to get used to it and they did. I think it was partly that our daughters are Katherine and Rachel, very 'normal', and Aidan was a bit outside the box for most people in our families. It took dh's Grandma about 4 days to say it out loud, apparantly!! LOL

My FIL liked Katherine's middle name (Morna) better than Katherine and insisted on calling her that for a good couple of years - luckily he's a bit odd so we don't see him very often. Eventually I phoned him and said that if he kept on doing that he wouldn't get to see her and I wouldn't pass on cards, letters etc as it would be too confusing for her - he's never done it since and he didn't do it with either of the others!

Stick to your guns, Isaac is a lovely name and quite well used these days, I know 3! I was sorting out baby clothes that don't fit, returning others etc last week and the list of names I had to put on bags were : Daniel, Jacob, Isaac, Benjamin, Hannah, Rebekah, Rachel and Esther. DOn't tell me Old Testament names arent in.

You could always tell them is was going to be Nebuchanezzar! And if he was a girl it would have been Jezebel!

quicknamechange Tue 18-May-04 11:31:29

We had the same thing for dd. Her name is Francesca and my great aunt kept saying that it was awful and she couldn't imagine why we had chosen it - after several weeks (she is 96), we found out that she thought we had named her Manchester! It was painstakingly explained to her that she'd misheard, and she then came up with "oh, not Manchester, Granchester!".

The snob in her was better pleased with that as she thought Granchester was a nicer place...

lilymum Tue 18-May-04 11:42:24

Have come to this one a bit late, but totally out of order of your MIL metrobaby. Absolutely none of her business, YOUR son, not hers. Isaac is fab name, one I would definitely consider for a boy.

Similar experience with my MIL got my blood boiling when she came to visit us after dd3 was born. We called her Emilia on her birth certificate, but told everyone from the word go we intended to shorten it to Milly, a name which I really love. MIL, announced to me in a room full of people (was dd3's baptism and first time MIL had visited us since she was born 8 weeks previously) that she loved Emilia, but thought Milly so old fashioned, reminded her of someone who had been murdered and an old maiden aunt, so if I didn't mind, she would call her Emilia. Managed to answer "call her what you like" and stormed off. FURIOUS with her. Still, comforted myself with the fact that she only sees us about twice a year, so she could call her Noodle if she wants and I would hardly notice.

I think it's a control question that prompts people to want to interfere - they should have the wit and the tact to keep their mouths closed.

Right. Rant over.

Demented Tue 18-May-04 11:47:29

Isaac's a great name, my two have Celtic names but if I had another baby I would either go for another Celtic name or a more unusual Bible name. You can't let your MIL away with it, loads of good suggestions here to deal with her though.

marialuisa Tue 18-May-04 12:00:23

what happens when people turn into grandparents? My mum is mad with her mum for insisting on calling Dsis "Elena" (full and correct) rather than "Ellie" (been used since day 1) and even chose the Elena spelling because gran insisted on pronouncing it "Elea-NOR" before dsis was born!

Gran is mad though, she calls another sister's boyf "Alexander" even though she's been told it's Alex, shortened from Alexei....

nightowl Tue 18-May-04 23:33:41

my baby's shortened name is Ari. people think im calling her harry and that shes a boy! oh well! i think isaac is a lovely name btw.

fisil Wed 19-May-04 07:19:56

My name was changed - twice. Before I was born my Granny (mum's mum) simply said "you can't call a child fisil." So instead I was called Katsil, with Fisil as a middle name. But after a few days and adverse comments about Katsil my parents decided to revert to Fisil. Throughout my childhood I wanted to change my name to Katsil (as I didn't want to have an unusual name). By the time I decided I preferred an unusual name, Fisil was no longer all that unusual! Don't let your ds know about all this silliness about his name - I would rather not know all this stuff about my name - I would rather it was just my name without people's comments.

And Isaac is a gorgeous name - stick with it. You chose it for him, so it's his name.

SoupDragon Wed 19-May-04 07:57:33

Given that my mother managed to saddle me with a name that rhymed, she really couldn't comment on my (I mean our) choice of names for our DSs. And no one *has* said anything negative about them.

Fio2 Wed 19-May-04 07:57:33

fisil you have a beautiful name, only belonging to beautiful women

Soozi Tue 25-May-04 21:19:06

A lovely name. And I have to admit to quite liking Apple too. Cinnammon is also nice. Think how boring the world would be if we were all called the same non-risque names. I traced my family tree and every generation was either Robert or Andrew for the males and Mary or Sarah for the females.

I'd love to have been given a real wacky name.

dejags Tue 25-May-04 21:37:45

Metrobaby - completely out of order in my opinion!!

However I sympathise with not knowing what to say. We called our DS Caelan (pronounced without the A as "kehlin" )- it drives me nuts that my best friend insists on pronouncing his name phonetically despite the fact that she must hear us saying his name differently. I don't have the guts to say anything though .

Somebody mis-pronounced his name last week and he turned around and corrected them in a loud voice - I was so proud

We have had loads of people complain that his name is awful - I don't care we love it and combined with his second name and surname its quite lyrical. DS2 is due in 15 weeks time and we are having such a hard time coming up with a name - trying too hard to strike the balance between something original and something which nobody can mispronounce...

Isaac is gorgeous btw... Just try to take no notice...

stringbean Tue 25-May-04 21:46:57

I think Isaac is a lovely name - it's on our list of potential boys names (I'm 22 weeks pg); but it does annoy me that people think they can offer their opinions like this when it's none of their business.

The other thing that annoys me is people vetoing potential names for unborn babies, such that I'm no longer going to tell my family what's on our list, as my mother vetoed Eleanor as a potential girls name recently. Her reason? She had an Aunt Eleanor, who she liked, but Aunt E was married to Uncle Tom, who my mother loathed, so the name would be a constant reminder....I can't win!

woodpops Tue 25-May-04 22:01:15

What a lovely name. We kept our choice of names secrect until ds was born he was then introduced to all family and friends by his name Ellis and no other choices we're ever revealed they couldn't then say, such and such was a much nicer name. There were however a few turned up noises. But stuff um. It would be boring if we were all the same. I do like unusual names though. Go to the park and call 'Ellis' my ds turns round, go and call 'Jack' on the other hand and half the kids on the park turn round!!!! That's not meant as a critisium to anyone who has a Jack!!!

Paula71 Tue 25-May-04 22:37:37

Oooh Soozi I like Cinnamon, that would be lovely for a girl born at Christmastime.

Apple, however, I am still at odds with. I suppose it depends on the accent saying it.

Aero Tue 25-May-04 22:44:53

Have just read most of this thread and haven't seen ds2's (19wks) on it amongst the old Biblical names. People can be so rude - even if they are not meaning to be. Having given our ds1 and dd irish names (though easy to spell), we couldn't find another one that we liked enough for ds2 and decided to call him Noah which I love. It's a bonafide name, not a car or a place and I feel totally comfortable with it. Even if it were a car or a place, it's no-one elses place to be rude no matter what their opinion (and that's all it is - an opinion) is. Someone had the audacity to say "What have you done to him?". grrrrrr!! Isaac was also one we considered as was Jonah. Nothing wrong with it. You should hear my middle name!! Am glad it's in the middle, but am proud of it's unusuality and have passed it to dd (also in middle).

Easy Tue 25-May-04 22:56:23

How's this then ... When I was born I had to be admitted straight away into a children's orthopaedics ward for surgery. There was already a baby on that ward called Elizabeth (my first name), so the nurses started to refer to me by my middle name.

Because I was in so long, my middle name stuck as the name I am known by. So really, I was named by a bunch of strangers !!

jampot Tue 25-May-04 23:10:26

Stringbean - my daughters name is Eleanor which I think is absolutely beautiful. She is known as Ellie at school which suits her (for now).

Chandra Wed 26-May-04 01:59:44

No need to say that Isaac is nice because it is, however, I have found quite reasuring all the responses about your MIL. My MIL also uses a diferent name for my ds. I have asked her not to use another name but she has replied that she would call him whatever name she wants because she found his name "unatural", I mentioned about changing her name and she said she wouldn't care as she doesn't like her own name, however Twinkie's advice seems more promising. Sadly, being so rude with all our family she is not getting many opportunites to use the name she has chosen for our son...

marialuisa Wed 26-May-04 09:55:17
Twinkie Wed 26-May-04 10:00:18

Well we told DPs friend that we were having a baby boy on Saturday night and her reply was 'My God, I hope your not going to call it Maximillion or Maximus or something stupid like that' - Er well hsi name is going to be Max - and then she went on to say how someone she knows has called their baby Saskia (a perfectly decent name) and how she could just about bring herself to utter the name Saskia - then she went on to tell me how pleased she was that I will be fat when we go on holiday so she won't have to diet and that I look really big for my dates oh and she really hopes that I will not be walking around during our holiday with my belly hanging out cause it makes her feel sick!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH FFS Woman!!

Do you think if I pushed her off a cliff I could get away with it due to my hormones??

arabella2 Wed 26-May-04 10:05:42

why are you going on holiday with her, she sounds horrid and a bit dim!

Blu Wed 26-May-04 10:10:12

Ummm, Twinkie, are you really going on holiday with this woman who is either cataclysmically rude beyond all explanation, OR jealous beyond reason that you are pregnant? Either way, I think something needs to be said or you're going to have a miserable time, aren't you?

Blu Wed 26-May-04 10:11:25

And I hope you will be doing whatever you want with your belly on your holiday, which after all is to make YOU feel happy, relaxed and rested.

Janh Wed 26-May-04 10:15:34

Twinkie, is this the one who fancies DP and has always made you feel not good enough? Why *are* you going on holiday with her???? Yes, please do push her off a cliff!

Janh Wed 26-May-04 10:16:27

Sorry, meant to say *tried* to make you feel not good enough.

Twinkie Wed 26-May-04 10:17:59

Will be waggling my huge belly in her face (she says the stretch marks make her feel sick - I have a very faint few so obviously not mine but her own she is thinking about!!) - we have to go to a wedding with her - have no choice I am afraid and yes she is terribly jealous that DP and I are in love and are happy and are having a little boy (her DH got very excited and there was much back slapping when they found out it was a boy (although DP would have preferred a girl I think!!)) and I am going to rub her face into it as much as I can - I am even going to be as rude to her as she is to me - which I never am and blame my hormones whilst secretly relishing the fact that I am excused from being tactful!!

She even had the cheek to say that my DD has a common name (all of you know her name and know it is not common!!) and she has said that I should feel lucky that DP chose me cause he is such a good catch (whereas I am such a bag of old shit obviously!!) and DP only enjoys the chase and then leaves women (he has had 5 girlfriends and is in his early 30s!!) - oh I could go on and on but believe me girls just my hapiness pisses her off more than anything so I am relishing in being fat and happy and very lovey dovey to DP!!!

Oh and she was once fat and not just fat but terribly obese - which I keep in the back of my mind just to cheer me up - ha ha ha!!

SoupDragon Wed 26-May-04 10:21:30

marialuisa, that is a fantastic link! What a great article

Janh Wed 26-May-04 10:22:42

doesn't she look like her dad though, poor lass?

Twinkie Wed 26-May-04 10:37:22

Yes their daughter is quite masculine looking!!

(I know I am a complete bitch but this woman has given me good reason to be really believe me!!)

marialuisa Wed 26-May-04 10:41:56

TBH I think Fifi Trixibelle is perhaps the most unfortuante. I'm sure she's a lovely girl, but I doubt there's anyone less Fifi Trixibelle-like!

DD has named her new doll Shark-Gazelle (sister to Service and Maxine) so she's obviously decided that unique names are the way forward!

Blu Wed 26-May-04 10:44:56

Does your (wonderful) DP recognise how abominable she is?

Twinkie Wed 26-May-04 10:47:32

He says she is just being over protective of him cause she has known him for so long but after my going mad last time she was rude to me I think he is realising just what she is like - is is over 6 foot and 13 stone and she is about 5 foot 2 so I can't see why she needs to be protective of him at all - I do think she has realised she oicked the wrong man (although she did not have a choice of picking DP!!) and is jealous!!

Janh Wed 26-May-04 10:52:02

Service, ml? Where did *that* come from?

(Shark-Gazelle obv perfectly normal...!)

Another good Telegraph piece, following on from Apple - name-napping - we've had a thread about that too, haven't we?

Twinkie Wed 26-May-04 10:53:53

Did no one see the Baby Tales where the little girl wanted to call her little brother Bacon - PMSL at the aone - she was about 2 and deadly serious!!

marialuisa Wed 26-May-04 11:28:08

JanH, I honestly have no idea. I think she just heard the word and liked it. Maxine is for Maxine from "Letterland".

Kayleigh Wed 26-May-04 11:52:18

Metrobaby, I have just found this thread and cannot believe your MIL. I can't even write what I would tell her to do for fear of being banished from Mumsnet for my bad language. How dare she !!!!

I think you have chosen a lovely name. And I think whatever name you had chosen would have been lovely, because that is what you and your dh wanted.

Davros Wed 26-May-04 17:22:37

I live in an area with a large Jewish community and my DH is Jewish but I'm not. Isaac is not an unusal name around here, nor are Saul, Jacob etc. My MIL would have been DELIGHTED if we'd chosen an old biblical name but as our children's parents (us) are mixed then so are their names and I didn't want to delight my MIL!!! I think because of where we live we are more conscious of the Jewish connection but these are all perfectly acceptable, old and traditional names. I think my main objection would be anything biblical as I am seriously non-religious.
I've got a friend whose DD is called Giverny (Monet's home) which I think is soooo pretentious but I actually really like and she gets called Givvy which I also think is lovely. Its easier to get away with something "made up" with a girl and I think this is MUCH better than Apple who is going to have to live with a lot of fruit jokes.....

ReallyHip Wed 26-May-04 21:29:47

I was given an relatively uncommon name (for the time) AND a middle name that people always think is funny to ridicule. Not only that my initial and last name together spell a word which people also find hilarious. My reaction to this? Spell it every time loudly, clearly and enunciating every last syllable and smile inanely at those who mock!

Ghosty Thu 27-May-04 08:54:36

ReallyHip ...

Metrobaby Thu 27-May-04 14:47:20

thanks everyone for all your kind words. Isaac is now officially registered. MIL is showing her disapproval I think by refusing to call him his name but refers to him as 'baby' now and hinted that she wouldn't be coming to his christening in a couple of months! Oh well ....

Janh Thu 27-May-04 15:02:11

And wouldn't that spoil it for everybody else! (Ohdearwhatapitystillnevermind )

Well done, metrobaby - it is a great name!

Blu Thu 27-May-04 15:30:14

Congratulations, little Isaac, your parents have chosen a lovely name....but your granny is barking!

SoupDragon Thu 27-May-04 15:34:21

Start referring to her as "mother in law" each time she calls him "baby"

ReallyHip Thu 27-May-04 15:50:14

or, start calling her the grandma, nana, granny, nan, nanny or which ever of those she hates (most mothes and mothers in law tend to have a preference!)

Good for you for sticking to your guns. Isaac is your baby not hers!

arabella2 Thu 27-May-04 16:41:41

My MIL hasn't liked either of the two names we have chosen for ds and dd - it's not a nice feeling but hey, who cares. Julian for the boy she thought sounded too much like Julia, and Georgia for the girl she said was too long and difficult to say but in reality she must have thought it sounded too much like George . I was quite affronted that she could express dislike over something so personal to us but at least she didn't say she would call them by another name (though she does in fact call them bubby for quite a long time (all the grandchildren)).

Tortington Thu 27-May-04 16:52:19

i have lots of names for a baby - that i will never get to use ( cos am not having any more ever!) and issac is one of them.

i think its very rude to say this - and how shocked would theybe if you were equally as rude and told them to keep their opinions to themselves?

i have a Jacob and my BIl said when i announced his name " am not callin' 'im in fer'is tea with a name like that. It's puffy"

i ignored him and still an totally in love with the name.

i have a Joseph. when he was born dhs' granny said "are you going to use his first name or second?" - like what kind of a Q is that? i love the name in its entirity and willnot have anyone call him Joe, although this is how he refers to himself.

i have an emma. no one complained about that but i feel guitly not mentioning her now i mentioned the other two - even though no one gives a poo but mee. there eased my guilt on that one

point it. bollocks to them.

tallulah Wed 02-Jun-04 20:02:21

We just didn't tell anyone our kids names until they were born, because we knew the reaction we'd get!

My neice has v unusual name which caused some raised eyebrows... my aunt announced "that's horrible. We'll call her second name{} instead" (but she never has ).

I recently took my 14 yo to work & got "that's an odd name", which I thought was very rude.

It's no-one else's business, and that INCLUDES grandma!

Paula71 Wed 02-Jun-04 22:11:41

Have just read what you said, Metrobaby, about your MIL not going to the Christening. Good ridance, the best thing you can do is plan for her not to be there, that way she won't spoil what is Isaac's special day - not hers. When she says she isn't going act all matter-of-fact with an "okay" and a shrug of your shoulders, don't let her see you annoyed. God, I hate people like this!

How dare she act so presumptious? The last thing you need at the Christening is someone moaning and gurning about the baby's name, a very petty MIL you have there. Sorry.

Isaac has a lovely, traditional name and will have a wonderful Christening with all the best wishes from us!

fi51 Tue 29-May-12 09:59:39

Isaac is a very nice kind of strong name which he can grow up with unlike some names

Stellan Tue 29-May-12 10:05:32

This is an eight year old thread, fi51!

Frontpaw Tue 29-May-12 10:06:55

What's wrong with Isaac? I thought you were going to day 'my baby is called twinkle wonk and we like it, but people say its a terrible name...'

lovemygirlivy Tue 29-May-12 10:28:51

Whats wrong with Isaac - it's hardly as if you have called him sandal or something - it's a nice classic name that everyone can pronounce.

InterviewMAD Tue 29-May-12 10:59:56

I think people are generally fairly pass-remarkable, and it irritates me.

Re: the Jewish thing, I don't think it's just Jewish names. I think a lot of people can be that about names they perceive as being "too black", "too Irish", "too Welsh".

I am massively pregnant and Irish, and ds has a very neutral/easy to pronounce Irish name (think Declan/Rory/Brendan/Liam/Conor). I don't know what I am having this time and if it's a boy, I will choose another similar Irish name. However, girls are more tricky. The baby already has cousins called Maeve/Sinead/Siobhan and there aren't really many more that are legible/immediately pronounceable so we will probably pick something more "unusual" in terms of spelling, thinking of Aoife (Ee-feh).

When I've discussed this with people they are literally SO dismissive of it.. and there is definitely a sort of snobbery about using "ethnic" names among certain people. Irish names in particular seem to engender suspicion. The thing is, we are happily raising our kids as English and giving them a sense of culture here, they have British passports and I'm taking my ds to some sort of toddler Diamond Jubilee extravaganza next week where he will troop the colour (while no doubt some of his forefathers squirm in their graves) BUT I and dh are Irish, and our heritage is also an important part of who they are.

I found reading the Baby Names lists on the ONS helpful as you realise just how many "ethnic" names are used in the UK and that all this nonsense about names is just that, nonsense. People grow into their names, others learn to say and spell them, all is well. I appreciate there are some more "far out" names (thinking Benson and Hedges here!) but really there is room for diversity in the world!

Isaac is lovely and VERY normal.

thegreylady Tue 29-May-12 15:43:18

Isaac is a lovely name and no one has the right to object. If you were calling him something awful like Dogbreath then OK she could be forgiven but Isaac is perfect

StepOutOfSpring Tue 29-May-12 16:44:50

Wow, an 8 year old thread!

WaftyCrank Wed 30-May-12 19:45:10

Isaac is lovely, I wanted it for DS2 but DH wouldn't.

We called him Gabriel and the amount of rude comments we get is unbelievable. 'Gabriel? Eurgh!' 'That's not a boys name! Are you sure he's a boy?' 'He'll get called Gay at school. Haha!' and my favourite 'Gabriel, where on Earth did you get that from?!' hmm

I love his name but sometimes I almost wish I'd called him something else. Damien

WaftyCrank Wed 30-May-12 19:48:01

Blimey I didn't see the date on the OP.shock

Mintberry Tue 09-Oct-12 14:31:07

Quartermass Ignatious! Sounds like a medieval knight to me!
I think Isaac is a great name, it's stood the test of time and sounds modern when shortened to Zach (or perhaps Izzy). It's on my MN shortlist, actually. grin
I like the idea of renaming your MIL if she insists on calling him Ben! I suggest Egglantine, or Ursula.

Wow, eight years! I would love to know if MIL went to the christening, is still calling him Ben and if 8 year old Isaac likes his name grin It is a lovely name, btw smile

thegreylady Tue 09-Oct-12 16:15:37

Isaac and Max are both lovely names smile

thegreylady Tue 09-Oct-12 16:16:25

oooops.....the date!!!!!!!

Jusfloatingby Wed 10-Oct-12 12:54:42

Baby Isaac is now eight. Why are we still discussing his name? (Although I would love to know if his DG insists still on calling him Ben)

HoneyMum21 Wed 10-Oct-12 13:14:09

It's no-one's choice but the parents what a child should be named. Isaac is a gorgeous name but even if you'd picked something more... unusal... it would still be your choice and that should be respected.
Like the poster above said, your MIL had her turn at naming babies when she had hers and now it's your turn. My MIL wants us to name our DS (due in december) after my FIL (who she is now divorced from) even though she didn't deem it right to call her son that. I do think she is going to HATE the name we have picked out but she can lump it!

bigbluebump Wed 10-Oct-12 13:56:42

Why is this ancient thread resurrected?!

remaincalm Wed 10-Oct-12 15:53:45

I think Isaac is lovely. It is not an 'out there' name, just a normal name that you may or may not like. It is so rude for people to question your name choice.

i have an Isaac (13) and had opposition especially from my nan who was in her 80's "didnt he do something wicked in the bible?" cue me hustling down a bible and finding all about isaac - no he was the very much wanted son of older parents Abraham and Sarah.

she didnt like tallulah for dd (6) as she thought it was Indian - yeah native american indian!!! and now we have told her our chosen name for dd3 Dottie she doesnt like that saying she'll be picked on for being daft.

but when i remind her fo her dislike for isaac & tallulah she back tracks and says she has always liked those names!!!!

she's desperately trying to get me to call this one Daisy or Alice!!!

stick to your guns!!!!

Leonas Fri 02-Nov-12 20:00:06

It is a lovely name! If people are asking for honest opinions before a baby is born then they obviously want people to be brutal but once the name is chosen what is the point of expressing an opinion - you obviously love it and are happy with it so their opinion isn't going to change it.
My gran called my wee cousin Paul for quite a while after he was born as she didn't like Antony - she also wanted to know what my name was short for as she didn't really approve of it either!

dementedma Sat 03-Nov-12 22:30:37

Ds is Joseph. Its not difficult. Its not Joe. its not Joey.Its Joseph. Why do people insist on shortening it?

mathanxiety Sat 03-Nov-12 23:50:37

This is a thread from 2004, people!!

lopsided Sun 04-Nov-12 21:18:13

This child is now 8!

scottishmummy Sun 04-Nov-12 21:28:44

well whatever,as isaac will now be 8
and baby names I think you'll get an honest online response
in rl I'd never let on I don't like a name,too late, smile and wave,just smile and wave

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