Why can't someone use certain names?

[AlpacaYourThings]

I've seen it quite a few times on here;

"You can't use that name if you aren't from "
"You can't use use that name if you aren't "

Surely, if you like a name, you use it. Doesn't matter if you aren't Greek/Italian/Jewish.

It doesn't make any sense to me, am I missing something?

[scottishmummy]

I think it's folk offering(often v wise advice) there's no compulsion to act on it
I think what illuminating on mn babynames threads is the refreshing honesty
In real life I'd probably offer more if a platitude and smile.oh you like unique names...deztineee!how unique...

[alita7]

it's not that you can't, it's more ththat the name has a strong meaning in that culture or that it would be very weird or cause teasing or people may find it offensive.
For example I would question why someone without Muslim heritage would choose to call their child muhammad. But Mary would not be odd if you're not Christian as it is widely used in England anyway.

[AlpacaYourThings]

There are two threads at the minute and OP's have been told they can't use 'Cohen' if they aren't Jewish and 'Louis' if they aren't of French heritage.

I don't get it.

[scottishmummy]

I've read Celtic/scottish names were people can't pronounce or spell name properly
If you can't pronounce or spell the name,yes I'd wonder why you've chose it

[AlpacaYourThings]

Well, that's fair enough SM!

[alita7]

Well those ones are a bit silly as they are as far as I'm aware acceptably used by English parents enough for it not to matter.

[TheCraicDealer]

Yeah there was a poster who called her dd a popular Irish name but said it phonetically, iyswim, and not how it's meant to be pronounced. Think calling a Siobhan, Sio-bann rather than Shavaugh. Kid was seven or eight, so not easy to just change it once she realised.

With very traditional names which 'fit' a particular background there are often a lot of nuances which someone from outside that culture might not get. That's the danger and why it's sensible to do a bit of research and ask options if you're going for an unusual name.

[squoosh]

I think also that some people have an unease with people appropriating names from other cultures. It just seems odd to me if someone chooses a name that is never or rarely used in their own culture.

I know an Irish guy called Dimitri Murphy. He has no Greek heritage whatsoever. It's odd!

On the other hand the world is getting smaller so it's inevitable that people will want to venture beyond Catherine and Thomas. Many 'foreign' names are now firmly embedded in our culture, so to tell someone they shouldn't call their son Louis unless they're French is nonsense. I'd think nothing of a British girl called Sophie but would do a double take at a Clémence. I'd think 'just call her Clemency you pretentious ninny'.

If I met a Cohen I'd assume the parents were Jewish or Leonard Cohen fans.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Names are cultural signifiers aren't they. That's why certain names are seen as upper class (Ptolemy, araminta for eg) some are middle class (though these change the most fluidly) and some working class. There are the hippy names that denote parents' social and cultural choices (Rainbow, Blessing), religious names (Isiah, Mohammed etc) and country specific names.
Of course names get mixed up and English c of e girls get called Aisha or Amelie, Irish names get anglicised and used for English children, or people make up names or appropriate them from places they have visited that feel meaningful to them. However, on the whole, names say something about who we are and where we come from. People who reject that notion and try to be yooneeq tend to create their own subculture of 'people who try to reject mainstream norms' and their naming choices signify that as much as Marie-Teresa signifies a catholic.

[DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution]

I think it saves the child a life time of 'Oh, Lindiwe, are you South African?'
'No'
'Oh, are your parents from South Africa?'
'No'
'Oh, are any of your family from anywhere in Africa?'
'No'
'.....so why did they call you Lindiwe, can they speak Afrikaans?'
'No! it's just a name they liked'

Which can get really annoying if you're Lindiwe and you have that conversation every time you meet someone new.

[DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution]

I suppose it's a bit like if you called your kid Spock or Axl Rose but didn't like Star Trek or Guns n Roses...and them having a lifetime of those questions!

[AlpacaYourThings]

Thanks for the explanations.

I suppose I just don't really 'get it'. IMO sharing of cultures is one of the best things about immigration. I grew up in a big city and have an Arabic name and my brother has a Welsh name, however, both of our parents are Irish. I've never had anyone ask me whether my parents had an Arabic connection.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Well sure, if it's a name like Sara or Zara. I'm assuming you aren't called khadija or Ghita or something that isn't common at all outside Muslim families?
My DS has a very easy to spell and pronounce Arabic name and I'm always being asked where it came from. I could have called him something like Zak or Adam to reduce that factor but chose not to as I like him having a name that connects him to his father's country.
I think it would be a huge PITA for him if I'd just called him that because I liked the sound or meaning and he didn't have any cultural connection. Plus I'd feel like a knob every time someone asked me if I had to say 'no not Arabic, I just liked the name'

[LJBanana]

I have a Louis and I'm definitely not from French heritage. The thought had never crossed my mind. We liked the name and used it.

[AlpacaYourThings]

A little but more obscure than that Ehric but yes it's not as obvious as 'Khadija'. Most people who speak to me over the phone and then meet me in person say "Oh I thought you were going to be Asian". That's the most anyone ever says.

[AlpacaYourThings]

See, LJ you like it you use it. That's logical to me.