Stuck on the middle name (s)

(8 Posts)
livingzuid Fri 04-Apr-14 08:28:56

Hi all,

We are having a girl in June and I thought I was OK with her middle name but I have been dithering about it and not so sure any more.

We knew three years ago any girl we had would be a Daisy smile we loved that name from the start.

My problem is the middle name. Dh wanted Cecilia in memory of his grandmother. I wanted Yolanda as that is a family tradition from my side to give girls the middle name, and also the name of my grandmother.

So I was resigned to her being a Daisy Cecilia as it sounded ok and to have Daisy Cecilia Yolanda or Daisy Yolanda Cecilia was too much (is it too much?).

Now, to add to the mix, Dh is Dutch and I wanted something to reflect both parts of her heritage. There are some beautiful Dutch girls names but dh gets quite sniffy about them - something he has inherited from Mil who is not Dutch and from a former British colony. I love the Dutch version of Josephine which is Josefien or something shorter like Femke.

I guess I feel a bit sad, that my family tradition has to fall by the way side, or that we can't start our own tradition because of irrational prejudices! Dh didn't have a problem with two middle names but I thought it was too much. I thought we should both agree on the middle name but I felt like it was forced on me.

I'm talking rambling out loud really, and the more I write this the more bothered I realise I am by it! This baby was hard to conceive so it's not like I am guaranteed a second chance either sad if it had been a boy we had that all sorted, Hugh Johannes after mine and his grandfather.

Any suggestions or thoughts would be most welcome. Pregnancy hormones mean I am getting a bit upset!

BikeRunSki Fri 04-Apr-14 08:34:20

2 middle names is fine. My dc, my siblings and I all have 2. But Daisy Cecilia Yolanda is quite a mouthful! I love Josefien though!

LePetitPont Fri 04-Apr-14 08:36:29

Sorry to hear you are getting upset; those pesky preggers hormones!

So Daisy is fixed. Is there a Dutch form of Yolanda you could use to get both traditions in one middle name? Although if it is your DH who is Dutch and he isn't bothered about recognising that in your daughter's name, perhaps one to let go.

Personally, I don't think 2 middle names is ott - but you could think about smoothing out / reducing repetition of -a sound... Cecile not -ia or Yolande not -a eg Daisy Yolanda Cecile.

diddl Fri 04-Apr-14 10:04:20

Tbh, I'd forget Daisy & go for Yolanda Cecilia dutch name or Cecilia Yolanda dutch name.

Will she have a dutch surname?

diddl Fri 04-Apr-14 10:21:49

Or how about just having Daisy dutch name?

Femke is fabulous!

livingzuid Fri 04-Apr-14 11:51:13

Hi all thanks for the replies, it is much appreciated.

I adore the Dutch version of Daisy which is Madelief and sounds so pretty when spoken, but DH vetoed that. She will have a Dutch surname but it isn't very common here apparently and doesn't sound Dutch at all.

diddl Daisy is fixed - we don't like either of the others as a first name smile The Dutch version of Yolanda isn't so pretty - I think it is Jolande or something like that which we toyed with but didn't like so much. I think there is a woman at DH's work who is called that too and does his head in grin

I really liked the suggestion of reducing the repetition and trying something with fewer syllables thanks petit. And bike, yes that is my concern too that it it is so long-winded. I have long first, middle and last names and it is a pain!

I was bought up overseas and having a mix of the two cultures is particularly important to me as it will help her identify with both halves of herself if that makes sense. We're currently living here but I want to move back to the UK before the end of the year so she will be in Dutch lessons and so on as a child. My DH when we first met vehemently rejected the Dutchness even though his dad is Dutch and he completely absorbed his mum's side of the family at the expense of his dad's. It is quite segregated here if you are not from 1000000000 generations of Dutchiness! He's much better now but it creeps in now and again and I don't want my daughter to grow up like that at all.

The reason I think I'm getting so het up about it is that I feel like MIL is trying to take over the birth and the baby. They live just round the corner and it's all 'my grandchild' and 'my baby' and although well-meant, she is spending so much money on things I want to buy, even down to blankets! We don't have much money but we can at least afford to clothe my daughter! We told her about the names because I in a baby brain moment said them in front of her, and she liked Daisy but was very dismissive of the other names. Whilst I don't think she would interfere with the naming, I am getting fed up of the 'you never come to see me any more/where's my granddaughter' type comments and the poor thing hasn't even arrived yet!

Sorry for rant. I will stop there. I will have a calm, sensible discussion with DH when I am not feeling so tired and pissed off, see what he thinks and use some of the great suggestions on here. Thank you all once again smile

livingzuid Fri 04-Apr-14 11:53:27

Sorry, should have added it all feels like DH's family is taking over this baby, name and all!

diddl Fri 04-Apr-14 13:29:32

Well of course you could always go the whole hog & have Daisy Yolanda Cecilia dutch name.(not necessarily in that order for the middle names).

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