What to do when can't decide between two names?

(16 Posts)
looki Sun 22-Sep-13 20:26:07

I am so stuck. I have whittled my short list down to two names. I live both of them for different reasons. How do I choose?

I don't believe in 'waiting to see what the baby looks like', as I firmly believe all babies become their names.

I have two months left to decide but I want to decide ASAP as it will help me bond. I'm awake at night trying to decide, I say both names out loud for a week at a time etc and have been doing this for weeks now but am not any nearer reaching a decision.

What do others in this situation do?

heidihole Sun 22-Sep-13 20:28:00

Well first you tell us the names grin

heidihole Sun 22-Sep-13 20:28:45

I think you flip a coin. And if you feel TOO MUCH disappointment at the name you "lost" then thats the one. Remember you may have other children in the future.

absentmindeddooooodles Sun 22-Sep-13 20:30:10

First name and middle name?

AcrylicPlexiglass Sun 22-Sep-13 20:38:08

I agree that babies become their names but I still think there is something about about seeing your tiny newborn for the first time that helps some women/parents decide which name is the one they really love the best.

Do you have a partner and if so does s/he have a preference?

I think maybe you should try and challenge your feeling that you must make a definitive decision on names right now in order to bond, especially if it's really bothering you. Bonding is different for everyone and can't be rushed, I'd say.

BananaHammocks Sun 22-Sep-13 20:41:37

I worry about this although with more than 2 names! Try picturing using the name in different situations e.g. imagine shouting both names out of your front door as if you were calling your son/daughter in for dinner or telling friends/family the name you have chosen for the first time, does one feel more comfortable/natural? This helped me weed out a couple!

NaturalBaby Sun 22-Sep-13 20:42:51

How/where did you find the names or get them onto your shortlist?

We went with the name that we found first - I read it when ds1 was a baby and though at the time that'll be a good name if we have another boy, then I just found too many other names I really liked! I think deep down I always knew we would use the first one but I really liked another name and desperately wanted to use that one instead. We did wait until baby arrived and I think settled on his name after about 10 days. We couldn't agree on the spelling of the 2nd name so stuck to the 'rules' we used to name ds1.

looki Sun 22-Sep-13 20:45:57

This baby (our second) is definitely our last.

I don't get the huge bother some people get into over middle names either. So few people ever change their name and if it this baby decides to do so in the future, she probably would choose a name herself anyway..... so I want to use the name I love most as her first name. As well as that, they are similar names so don't sound particularly nice together.

Another reason for deciding now is I fear pregnancy hormones may take over and I will regret my decision.

I originally wanted Philippa and DH is so relieved its no longer a forerunner that he is leaving it up to me.

BlackholesAndRevelations Sun 22-Sep-13 20:49:40

We were set on a name for dc 1. When she came out we both said, no that's not her name. Then we named her something else but when the midwife asked and we said it aloud, we both agreed that wasn't her name either! She has a different name from our shortlist.

I firmly believe you can't name a person until you meet them! wink

Fancy sharing so we can help you decide?!

looki Sun 22-Sep-13 22:38:19

I have said both of them over and over so many times at this stage that they both feel like her name :/(

I have imagined many situations etc to no avail. At this point I would like twin girls so I won't feel I should have used the one l won't end up using!!!

OutragedFromLeeds Mon 23-Sep-13 00:21:34

Wait and see what feels right when she's born. If you love both of them I don't think you need to worry about hormones/crazy decisions etc.

Otherwise;

flip a coin
let DC1 choose
write them on pieces of paper and pick out of a hat
put it to the vote and let mumsnet choose
name her both e.g. Milly Molly Mandy

MortifiedAdams Mon 23-Sep-13 00:24:54

We gave dd both - as a first and middle name.

We need to know these names op

AcrylicPlexiglass Mon 23-Sep-13 00:40:41

Yes, tell us and we can decide for you!

InStyle Mon 23-Sep-13 04:09:42

You're going to have to let Mumsnet decide!

I am in a total quandary myself atm over two names. My problem though is that baby is 10 days old and I still can't choose!!

elcranko Mon 23-Sep-13 07:50:29

What are the names OP? We can help you decide smile

marriedinwhiteisback Mon 23-Sep-13 07:55:12

You do not need a name two months before the baby is born. We were discussing names as a pass time at that stage and finally whittled it down to two or three for either sex that we both liked and then went with something we had forgotten at the last minute.

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