"Reserving"; baby names?

(41 Posts)
CruCru Sun 21-Apr-13 13:55:35

I have a family member who has a list (not a long one) of baby names she wants to use when she has children. I'm not planning to use any of these but...do you think this is a funny thing to do?

melodyme Sun 28-Apr-13 19:18:12

Reserving names for uncertain future children is presumptuous and a bit self-important isn't it? All of my family and friends had extensive discussions about possible baby names and still do from time to time. It's quite fun! No one, however, has ever reserved one for themselves. Loving a name...hoping to use a name, it's normal. Restricting an actual pregnant person from using a name, because your hypothetical baby may need that name some day is ridiculous.

TheSecondComing Wed 24-Apr-13 18:36:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CruCru Wed 24-Apr-13 18:23:47

I don't know whether the names are forbidden. It would seem a bit weird to use them though, given I know that a close family member is desperate to use them.

I am not planning to use them but the boys name eliminates quite a few girls' names as they would shorten to the boys name. Does that make sense?

KittenofDoom Wed 24-Apr-13 17:59:37

Where has the OP said that the relative has "forbidden" others to use the names?

I do have a list of baby names I like (I make lists of everything as I have such an awful memory i am likely to forget any names I like by the time i have DC!)
But this list is for me, to remind myself, I've never shown it to anyone else (not even DH)
My first and second favourite girls names have recently been used by an acquaintance (sister of my close friend) but that hasn't bothered me or made me decide I now can't or wont use them

OkayHazel Wed 24-Apr-13 16:58:26

There's nothing wrong with having a list of names you want to use in the future, but to forbid others is stupid.

BABY NAMES: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.

Cookethenook Wed 24-Apr-13 10:23:18

Hm, yeah, it's funny and i think it's a little odd to come out and say it.
Having said that, i wouldn't use Ralph or Vida (grandparents names) despite loving them both, because i know how much it would mean to my brother if he could use them for his children.

Polkadotfanatic Tue 23-Apr-13 17:42:04

What kitten said

KittenofDoom Tue 23-Apr-13 15:07:30

This is a bit of a non-issue, isn't it? OP's relative has made a shortlist of three names she might choose from, none of which OP wants to use herself.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Throw a baby name book at her and say you have reserved the whole lot until you know what you're going to choose.

Thankfully me and my OH are both the eldest children and the only ones in a relationship (and I'm pregnant). My OH is a primary school teacher and doesn't want to name our baby a name that one of his pupils has. Fortunately we have our names planned and he hasn't got any of them in his class this year, hopefully he wont in September either!

everlong Tue 23-Apr-13 13:37:46

Does she expect nobody else to use them OP?

Pyrrah Tue 23-Apr-13 12:40:35

My youngest sister has always loved the name Violet since she was tiny - long before it became popular again.

DH's grandmother was called Violet and it's a name I also liked (fortunately DH didn't) but I would have felt terrible if I had used it as I know how she feels about it - even if she does end up with a DP who doesn't.

What we did do - since 4 family members were pregnant at the same time - was to tell people straight away what our name choices were for both boy and girl.

We didn't care if they used them, but we wanted to avoid being accused of nabbing someone else's choice.

I supposed I'd be slightly miffed if a family member named their child the exact combination of first, middle, second middle that we have still got picked out should we have a second, but again we know that we can't be accused of nicking it which would actually upset me more than someone using the names we liked.

Having big long lists and expecting people to avoid the whole lot - especially if they are common/popular names is madness (and even more so if you're not even pregnant/TTC)

FreedomOfTheTess Tue 23-Apr-13 12:31:08

When we were in our early teens, my sister and I used to argue over who would get to use the name Jack, as (a) we both loved it and (b) it's the name of our grandfather.

Well I say we would argue, my sister (who is younger than me) would be doing the shouting, I would be the one saying "it will simply be a case of who has a boy first."

Roll on a few years, and I fell pregnant at 19, and had a son. I named him Jack. Sister was furious.

Six years later, when pregnant with DS2, she tried to present DH and I with a list of names we were "forbidden" from using. We laughed at her and didn't even look at the list.

Lo and behold, the name we used (Alexander), was one of the names she wanted to "forbid" us from using.

DD's name (Sarah) also made her grumpy, as she liked that too.

We're both pregnant now - I'm due on 14 July - she's due on 19 August (her first child). We're both expecting girls. We have respectably agreed not to talk about names. If we use something she is considering, sparks will fly again, of that I'm sure.

But anyway, the gist of all that was, no-one can reserve names. It's a case of who gets there first in my book, and as far as my sister and I go, I have gotten there first. Just the way life goes I'm afraid.

MERLYPUSS Mon 22-Apr-13 20:41:52

I always wanted a Jacob. He turned into Isaac. Use what you like if you beat her chances are she may not have wanted it after the event anyway.

mylittlepuds Mon 22-Apr-13 20:27:21

It's not allowed!

HagsFlungOut Mon 22-Apr-13 11:29:21

Surely everyone has a short list of names they plan to call their child/ren. Many talk about it and others keep it to themselves. Why would anyone think this is "a funny thing to do"?

expatinscotland Mon 22-Apr-13 09:56:42

Yes. I'd tell her, too.

Lancrehotpot Mon 22-Apr-13 09:53:27

It does make things a bit awkward. At a birthday meal a few months ago, my SIL not-quite-jokingly told me and DH the names she would choose for her future children and one of them was a middle name we had considered. Now I wouldn't go there. We are expecting DC2 and SIL has no plans for kids just yet. I just don't understand why people get so possessive over baby names.

YoniOrNotYoni Mon 22-Apr-13 06:57:30

<outs self>

Many moons ago, my friends and I sat in a pub garden and wrote an Offficial list of Reserved Names. We signed it and everything grin

As a joke with your mate, fine. As a real attempt to ban a name, unrealistic.

NotTreadingGrapes Mon 22-Apr-13 06:55:09

It's not U for her to have a list.
It is U for her to reserve the names (if not even a tad madster)

My Mum's friend's daughter, who I hadn't, and indeed, haven't seen since she was about 4 (she is now 35) went cosmic when I named dd because she was going to use it for her child. <nutter>

exoticfruits Mon 22-Apr-13 06:48:38

I would keep quiet because they likely wouldn't think of it. I think people would think me odd if I 'reserved' a name, especially since I can't control whether they take any notice.

nooka Mon 22-Apr-13 04:38:28

If it's only three names then really I can't see the problem. Likewise I don't see why a sibling saying they would really like to use a family name is a big deal. With thousands of names to choose from avoiding two or three doesn't seem like an issue to me. If I had a name I was very very attached to (which I haven't since I was very young and planning on 11 children hmm) I would ask my siblings / close family to avoid it, or more likely let them know it was my dream to use it.

My sister and best friend named their dds the names of my pet rats from a good ten years ago grin it was fun reminding them of the ratty heritage..

There are names i like for boys that i'd be sad if a friend used before we decided to stop at dc3 but i wouldn't have made a big deal of it, now i'd be happy for the names to be used just so i could say them and get that wee giddy feeling grin

tallulah Sun 21-Apr-13 23:27:14

I had a list, but it was private. As it turned out my list was of girls names and I had one girl followed by 3 boys. By the time I had DD2, 21 years after DD1, all the (then)unusual names on my list were in the top 10 so I didn't use any of them.

My BIL mentioned before they had DC2 that they were going to call their DD Sophie. We never mentioned that was the name of our cat, and they had DS2 anyway grin

lottiegarbanzo Sun 21-Apr-13 23:06:51

Well she can't reserve them against the rest of the population making them more popular before she's able to use them, which is what happened to some of my favourites.

Has she never watched Friends? Saying your favourite name out loud is the best possible way to make your friend, who hadn't considered it previously, think they just must use that particular name.

Keeping quiet is the only safe option and allows you to change your mind without exasperating people.

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