Using someone else's name??(8 Posts)
Me and DH have always found it hard to agree on names, he is muslim and I am Christian, we are expecting our third boy and have a list of names we both like (which is amazing for us) but the only problem is one of the names that we both really like is the name of a 4 month old baby brother of a boy in our oldest DS class (there are only 7 of them in the class!...Its a special needs school).
So I am wondering would it be really weird or wrong of us to use that name? I talk to the boys mum a lot and we both attend parent workshops so its not like I can pretend I didn't know her baby's name!
I know it sounds like we are stealing the name but it is actually a name that I liked and suggested for DS2 but DH vetoed it at the time and he is now starting to really like the name!
What would you do in this situation? What would you think/how would you feel if you were the other boys mum?
Thanks in advance!
It's a pretty tenuous connection so I say go for it. Will you still even know these people in five years time? If you think they'd be precious about it maybe phrase it in such a way 'oh it's such a beautiful name, I hope you don't mind'.
Personally I'm against that kinda thing but that's because I'm one of those people that doesn't want my child having the same name as anyone else,especially those of my friends and their kids so its a personal choice thing with me but everyone is different.
If the name u like is a reasonably common/popular name anyway then I really wouldn't worry about what she may or may not think/feel if u use it as she must expect to meet plenty of kids wih that name,but if its quite an unusual/unheard of/unique name then I would perhaps steer clear of it and pick another name from ur list as the other mum probably chose it because of its relative uniqueness and the fact she doesn't know anyone else who has used it so may feel a bit put out if u then use it but it all depends on how close u are to this mum,is she someone u call a friend or just a school-run-mum u chat to at the gates and at parent workshops? There's a difference between the two,the opinion of a school-run-mum has the same value as those of people on here,they don't really matter in the grand scheme of things,but friends opinions can/do matter much more.
It all comes down to whether u actually care what this other mum,friend or not,thinks. After all its ur baby and u have to live with the name u choose so u hav to b happy with it and not spend years to come wishing u had just gone with the name u really loved instead vetoing it because u worried about what a school-run-mum/friend would think of u for "copying" her....xx
Agree with squoosh, except I wouldn't say anything at all to the other family. Nobody owns a name so it cannot be "stolen". Don't give them the opportunity to object. If they say anything, just say "yes, it's a lovely name" full stop.
[wicked] You could even pretend it is the name of your father/uncle/grandad etc [/wicked]
Thank you for your replies. I do like the woman but we do not socialize outside of school, so we only talk when we see each other on the school run or at parent workshops, I don't have her number or anything like that.
I don't think the name is that uncommon either.
I do think it will be awkward if she asks what the baby is called but at the same time don't want to not use it just because of her. Our older boys are still at pre-school so might not even end up in the same primary school...
kitten I like that idea!
I wouldn't give it a second thought. You've said she is just a mum you exchange pleasantries with at the school gate-you don't have her contact details and don't socialize with her outside of that. You really shouldn't worry about it, and based on your description of your relationship with her I wouldn't even forewarn her. She could move away next month and you'll never see her again. Imagine how annoyed you would feel! Go for it!
One of the school mums named her son the same as one of my DS's. I loved it, as I obviously love the name. It didn't bother me at all, so I would say go for it.
Use it anyway. Unless you invent a new name, all names are "someone else's name".
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