What happens if...(34 Posts)
You and your partner have the total opposite taste in names ...say old granny chic/pretty names and ahem chavvy/ghetto made up names? Who really gets to decide and how did you pursued them? (force)
I agree with whoever said that if you keep looking then you'll eventually find something that you both love. Me and my OH disagreed on names for ages but we finally found some common ground. I'd have liked different names more, as would he, but it matters to us that we both like the eventual name. I think that should matter to everyone unless there is a very deep set reason why they want something in particular i.e. family tradition, some special significance or whatever. Even then maybe you can have a variation of the same name or have a hyphenated name i.e. turning "Mary" into "Mary-Beth" or something. There are ways around these things!
Hyphenate, e.g. Martha-Chardonnay
stands well back out of range
The only way that doesn't involve compromise is to have 2DCs and each have a final say, or simply toss a coin. I am glad that we just kept going until we got there with a compromise.
I think you've got to keep looking until you find a name that you can both live with, even if you both end up compromising a little.
I'd was dysfunctional and had the final say. I'd have have carried a lifetime's resentment if I'd had to give my child a name I only vaguely liked just for the sake of being unfeminist or selfless or whathaveyou.
But, and I must make this very clear before anyone jumps on me from a great height, but, I'm not telling anyone else to do as I would. I'm just answering the OP's question.
It was your first post MummyBurrows....and your next post was FAR to long and badly structured for me to be arsed reading. I think your use of U for you did annoy me and yes...I picked on you partly because of that.
If you can write a post with paragraphs that's as long as your last then you can use YOU rather than u.
I think it would take a pretty disfunctional couple to not be able to find a compromise or settle on at least one name out of the thousands of names in the world no matter how different their tastes are I agree!
You just keep going until you find one acceptable to both. Left to just me our 3would have had totally different names.
Its hardly an arguement,I was simply clarifing what I said as neo either misinterpreted what I was or was referring to my first post,she doesn't say which,but I thought it was pretty obvious the santa claus one was a joke!
I said I think women should get the final choice if need be,not in general and in every baby naming process,it should of course be a joint decision.
I don't know about anyone else on here but I've never known any parents to not agree on at least one name or compromise for their child so its more a throw away comment than anything,but if it did seriously happen and come down to it then yes,I do think the mother should get to have her choice for the childs first name. Others may not agree and that's their right but would those same people say that if it came down to it the dad should get the final say on the childs first name? They wouldn't. Everyone knows and thinks it should be a joint decision and so do I,its the right thing to do.
I think it would take a pretty disfunctional couple to not be able to find a compromise or settle on at least one name out of the thousands of names in the world no matter how different their tastes are (and no I'm not saying the OP and her DP are a disfunctional couple,I've no doubt in my mind they will agree on at least 1 name or a compromise of some sort in the coming weeks or months just like every other couple having a baby).
If all else fails I'm assuming OP and her DP must like each others names so they could always name the baby after themselves depending on the sex if their names aren't unisex
It's 'you' not 'u.' Your argument will have more weight if you don't write like a teenager. Other than that, your points this time make better sense than your previous one (which really did say that the woman should get the final choice and which I entirely disagree with).
First of all,I'm aware not all women push their babies out but the majority do so ur just picking up on a non-point.
Secondly,I suggest u re-read my post. I didn't say dad shouldn't have any input,infact the first thing I said was i think both parents should agree/like the name u pick for your child!! But if they really can't agree "I think" (meaning in my opnion as its my thought!) The mums choice should win out if need be (in terms of first name,sorry,perhaps that point needed to be clarified for those that may think I meant the childs entire name).
At no point did I say the dad shouldn't have any input. Infact I then went on to suggest to aim for a compromise and to perhaps use both names (the bit where it says have a more sensible name for a first name and a more outlandish one for a middle name!) Or to try and combine both names into a unique name they both love....I also said they're bound to find a name they both like sooner or later as there are thousands to choose from....
So tell me neo which part of that is nonsense because as far as I can see the only "valid" point
which is actually irrelevant uve made about what I've said is that not all women push their babies out,other than that all uve done is completely misread what I actually said,infact it looks to me like u didn't even bother to actually read any of what I said and just picked up on 2 lines,1 non-point and the other u misinterpreted by not reading my post properly
Unless u of course are referring to my very first post about naming the baby santa claus,because quite frankly if u didn't take that in jest then u need to get urself a sense of humour. It was clearly meant as a joke so if that's the one ur referring to as "nonsense" then its ur post that's nonsense,not mine,as mine was clearly a joke and not intended to be taken seriously lol! Hence my second post,intended to stop any people like urself thinking I was actually being serious...appears that may have backfired lol! Although in all fairness right after I gave birth to my DD I asked my DH which name we will call her and his actual response was -while crying his eyes out- "I don't care,she's a miracle,call her Santa or the Easter Bunny if u want,I'll love her anyway" (I obviously went with our first choice agreed name,not santa or easter bunny incase u were wondering)...
what nonsense MummyBurrows. For a start not all women "push" their baby out. And for another, no matter who has given birth both parties have a right to input towards the name.
OP it's about finding a happy medium. It took DH and I three weeks after DD was born and then we found one we both liked.
Oh my God! I self censored! I am really am an old fart now
Sorry.I just wanted to have a conversation with someone.Of course I could just Google the information but I thought it would be nice to ask someone something about their religion,you know,show an interest.
We had this problem! In the end, we combed through family trees and also through names of historical people in his specialty field and more widely to see if we could find something with meaning (plus it helped me, as it helped the overall list be more classic and less... Ahem... trend-driven). In the end we are likely to go with a name that I like, but which is also from his family tree, so we both get some share of it
One lesson you can learn from my mistakes though... At the beginning I censored my crazier 'old fashioned' names, with the result that he instantly shot down my more reasonable suggestions. Next time I's keep more of my wildcards in there, so that my main list might be a bit more appealing!
I think you need to choose together, firstly because you will be parenting together (and although giving birth is obviously important it is the next 20 or so years that really matter), and secondly because I think names are too important to be left to one person's whim, I think the process of finding and testing names out together is important. Otherwise the child might end up with an extreme from either end of old/ghetto - there are some pretty awful old names as well as the terrible UniQue (or however it's written!) ones.
You could try using a name book and each separately pulling out all the names you both like and then cutting them down from there. I'm sure that there is a middle ground of names that you will both be very happy with.
I agree with MummyBurrows!
Don't use ** piglet. Really, don't. Just call her a cunt
I want to know the op's top three names and her dh's top three names. I think Alfie, Percy, Gladys vs Kloey, Dkny (pronounced dukaney), K-8-T, D'wane
Gee thanks Kitten-you c**t. Makes a real change from the fucking 'let me google that for you'.
You have to keep looking till you find a name you both like.
What's a novena? Is it like Hail Marys or something?
You could try making a list of more classic names to see if there are some you agree on?
You have to find a compromise. I hate the idea that the woman should choose because she is the one who gives birth - I think it's a horribly selfish and anti-feminist idea tbh.
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