Would you let your husband name your firstborn son...

(36 Posts)
MelinaM Sat 16-Mar-13 01:41:32

I have a major dilema, my husband wants to name our firstborn son after his best friend that sadly died a few years ago. I completely understand the wanting to honour a friend in that way but I absolutely hate the name with a passion! He will not compromise!!!
Has anyone else experience of this?

anonymosity Sat 16-Mar-13 01:43:33

Can you make it the 2nd name?

MelinaM Sat 16-Mar-13 01:59:50

I have suggested that but no it simply won't do!!! :-(

exoticfruits Sat 16-Mar-13 02:15:19

All names are a compromise. None of mine have the names that I would have chosen on my own. Just say 2nd name is your compromise -and as far as you will go. Do something else to remember the friend.

nooka Sat 16-Mar-13 02:20:12

Children's names need to be loved, or at the very least liked by both parents. It's lovely that he wants to remember his friend, but if you really don't like the name, then sadly he needs to think again.

OkayHazel Sat 16-Mar-13 03:04:09

Your husband cannot do that. You share a child, you share the naming process. It's in your body ffs!

MusicalEndorphins Sat 16-Mar-13 03:32:49

he has no choice. Both parents should agree on the name. The middle name is a good idea, or maybe instead of his friends first name, would his last name make a good name? Or can you make something out of the friends initials? Or use a name that means friend or brother?

notnagging Sat 16-Mar-13 04:11:08

Put your foot down op. my dh tried this & so did my mil! Van Gogh was named after his dead brother. Never a good idea in my opinion on that basis alone!

CheerfulYank Sat 16-Mar-13 04:45:17

Is there a good nickname for the name?

exoticfruits Sat 16-Mar-13 06:19:14

It is emotional blackmail- he will just have to remember his dead friend another way. The second name is quite adequate.

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 16-Mar-13 06:25:51

Have it as a middle name and come up with a new name together- maybe find a name that has a meaning that could be inspired by his friend- brave, strength, hope whatever would work.
www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/822603/boy-names-with-great-meanings
nameberry.com/list/315/Baby-Names-That-Mean-Hope
Gently point out to DH that the baby needs to have its own identity think using as middle name is a good compromise

Looking at it another way - would the dead friends family even be comfortable with you using the name?
Middle name much more appropriate IMO

exoticfruits Sat 16-Mar-13 06:43:11

Girlsyearapart has a good way of putting it. Say that in the family's position you would find the second name a nice touch, but the first name too painful.

TallulahBetty Sat 16-Mar-13 10:03:28

No. If i didn't like the name, no amount of sentiment would change my mind. Middle name or not at all!

toobreathless Sat 16-Mar-13 10:07:23

Use it as a MN.

Or can you research it in different languages? Am I making any sense? Like Sian is the welsh form of Jane but they sound totally different.

Other ideas use your husbands friends MN as a first or MN? Or even give the surname as a second MN. It's quite common to have a second family surname with special meaning as a second MN.

squiddle Sat 16-Mar-13 10:09:28

No!!! And my dh would never, ever, ever have suggested it. We both had right of veto on all names, and both came up with suggestions.

FriggFRIGG Sat 16-Mar-13 14:41:57

He has to compromise!
He can't simply decide on the child's name without any input from you.
Ridiculous behaviour.

Choccybaby Sat 16-Mar-13 21:23:44

Don't do it!
My mum's first name was chosen by one parent and hated by the other. Subsequently hated by her (kids will always sense these things), never used and always known by her MN.

LynetteScavo Sat 16-Mar-13 21:32:13

I did, luckily it's not that awful, though, and has grown on me.

If it was an awful name, I would have said NO.

ZZZenAgain Sat 16-Mar-13 21:36:37

If you feel so strongly about the name, I don't think you can use it. Do you want to tell us what the proposed name is?

Coconutty Sat 16-Mar-13 21:38:19

Nope, wouldn't do it.

goingwildforcrayons Sat 16-Mar-13 21:39:44

No way. Your child's name should be one that reminds you of positive, happy things. You and eventually DH and child (who will sense it or one day ask about the name) will grow to dislike the name as it doesn't have positive connotations, sorry.

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday Sat 16-Mar-13 21:40:26

It is not up to him to say he won't do it and he won't compromise.

Does he expect to have final say on everything about your child once he's born? Because parenting is about compromise and discussion.

thistlelicker Sat 16-Mar-13 21:42:11

What's the name and why don't u like t? Just out of curiosity

Assajjventress Sat 16-Mar-13 22:07:07

Pray tell

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