'Stealing' a friend's baby's name

(32 Posts)
BonaDea Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:41

A v good friend of mine has just 'pinched' our top boy's name. Completely unintentional, and she didn't know we liked it, so of course I'm happy for her (grrr). We actually don't see them very much and don't even live in the same country any more. But of course we have mutual friends. Do you think it would be wrong of us to use it as well?

Another favourite name is the name of the baby of a former (close) work colleauge of mine - NOT an unusual name at all. Do you think that is any more acceptable?

Just wonder whether there is an ettiquette here I should be following or should I just say 'sod it' and use the names we like?

orangepudding Fri 08-Feb-13 16:59:10

In your situation I would use the names you like. You don't see each other anymore so it doesn't matter!

HariboAndWine Fri 08-Feb-13 17:28:31

This situation has happened to me except I was the unknowing 'stealer'. My very good friend lives in another country too and I have no problem whatsoever with her using the name too smile

rachel234 Fri 08-Feb-13 18:56:04

It is not so much 'stealing' but about 'identifying' so if you are happy for your child to share a name with your friend's child or colleague, then go ahead and use the name. There are thousands of lovely classic names around, especially if you look beyond the top 100 or even top 250. Is there no other name you love?

HouseOfBears Fri 08-Feb-13 20:55:07

I would probably go with your favourite name, but have a conversation with your friend first saying that you've wanted to use it all along and you hope they dont mind - I don't know a single person that would actually say "no I'd rather you didn't use the same name, it's mine!" smile

Rhubarbgarden Fri 08-Feb-13 21:26:22

I think I'd go back to the drawing board and come up with something different.

Hassled Fri 08-Feb-13 21:27:52

Oh use it anyway. If you're not right next to each other then I can't see how it will be a problem. Your mutual friends won't bat an eyelid.

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 21:31:06

no one steals names,as no one has dibs ona name its as simple as that
theres no name etiquette only the unnecessary fretting that some seem to do
if you like the name use it.dont make all this so fraught,it doesnt need to be

almostanotherday Fri 08-Feb-13 21:31:23

I was going to name my DD after my nan who had passed away and I stupidly told as so called friend what the name was, she had her DD 3 weeks before me and named her DD with the name.

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 21:32:52

and so what?did you use the name
if it was an name you cherish you use it
why fret about some pal and the same name

Ohhelpohnoitsa Fri 08-Feb-13 21:40:00

houseofbears, that is what i was told by a mum at school whose child is 8yrs older than mine. we used it anyway - shamelessly copied as it was a name i'd never even considered & i do still cringe a bit in her presence. however dcs will never be in same school and i am sure we or they will move area at some stage. we don t even know each others names so its not like we are pals.

MummyInTraining Fri 08-Feb-13 21:40:30

I would be annoyed if I was your friend. There are so many names to choose from why not try and see can you find something else?

almostanotherday Fri 08-Feb-13 21:42:35

No I chose another name for my DD and used my nans middle name as a middle name for my DD in the end

almostanotherday Fri 08-Feb-13 21:43:01

And I no longer have contact with the so called friend

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 21:43:07

some of you need to seriously grow up,if you think anyone can steal a name
i mean christ alive if you like it use it,and if someone gets there before you tough titty

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 21:45:26

i can honestly say if i liked a name id use it.irrespective of whether anyone thought they had 1st dibs or their name

almostanotherday Fri 08-Feb-13 21:47:34

When I told her what we would be calling DD her reply was oh that's nice I had never thought of that name. That's what pissed me off about her using it.

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 21:53:38

again so what?she can use a name that she likes, you dont have dibs on any name
if it was a special or family name you too can use it
if someone mentioned a name in passing and i liked it, yes i use it.no qualms

aftermay Fri 08-Feb-13 21:53:49

Use the name if you like it. I'd be flattered if my DCs' names inspired others. I think their names are beautiful.

I have a name that I adore and is sooooo unusual and specific that I haven't so much as breathed it in anyones presence that I think may be considering baby names in the next decade, in case anyone else uses it - then I would look like the stealer iykwim!

If I get to menopause without a BFP then I shall start yelling it from the rooftops as a free for all - but until then it is my special secret super duper girls name...

I am aware how bonkers I sounds btw... wink

scottishmummy Fri 08-Feb-13 22:11:09

most names are out there in domain somewhere unless you've genuinely made it up
im thinking charlotte york having a hissy on satc about her baby name getting stolen
im surprised so many on mn are so agahst anyone could use same name

aftermay Fri 08-Feb-13 22:29:44

Who is Charlotte York? What's SaTc?

Woollymummy Fri 08-Feb-13 22:32:55

Use it, she wasn't to know it was yours, and you decided on it before you knew her choice. I have many friends who are happy to have the same name as each other!

LentilAsAnything Sat 09-Feb-13 00:56:27

I agree with scottishmummy.

aftermay, Charlotte York is a character from TV series Sex And The City.

Am desperate to know what Panda's girl's name is! smile I am the same though, we have a perfect girl's name ready, and we (DH and I) never tell anyone.

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