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Really like Henry but already have a Harry - help!

(133 Posts)
Spellcheck Sat 05-Jan-13 10:32:33

Please can I have some opinions on this! Expecting my DC4 (DP's 1st) in a few weeks. It's a boy, and we are really stuck for names. I am a teacher and therefore most names remind me of some of the children I teach so I don't want them as they are already 'taken' IYSWIM. The only name we really, really like is Henry.

However, my first son is Harry. It's a name in it's own right, I didn't call him Henry and shorten it, so surely as they will both have different surnames, it would be ok to call DS2 Henry?? Some friends have called the idea into question, and now I've thought about it so much I can't think straight.

What would you think if a friend did it? Or should I say sod what everyone thinks and go for it anyway?

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 13:27:27

lockets two of Lucien Freuds sons are called Francis and Frank. By different mothers but nonetheless very odd!

lockets Sat 05-Jan-13 13:29:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 13:34:56

Yes! And there's a daughter called Georgina/Georgia.

I was reading about Charles II the other day,of his 8 illegitimate children he had four sons named Charles and a daughter named Charlotte. Think two of the sons called Charles were by the same mother as well hmm

lockets Sat 05-Jan-13 13:36:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo Sat 05-Jan-13 13:45:00

very odd, as most people do realise they are the same name - not helped with a Prince Henry known as Prince Harry being a high profile case of it.

I'd avoid also because they are so samey and it's a bit like you couldn't be bothered to think of a name just for your DS2, rather than just giving him a variation of his big brother's name. He's going to be a person in his own right, give him his own name.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 13:45:26

Exactly! grin

Ephiny Sat 05-Jan-13 13:52:23

I wouldn't. Even aside from the nickname issue, they're just too similar IMO. Both 5 letter names where the first and last-two letters are the same? I wouldn't be confused as such, but I'd find it a bit odd.

TameGaloot Sat 05-Jan-13 14:07:19

Another vote for
They're the same name
I wouldn't do John and Jack either
I wouldn't even have a Margot and a Daisy

What about if 'Henry' wanted to go by Harry when he's a bit older? There are several boys at DS1's (13) school who are called Henry, but go by Harry, including one of DS1's friends. DS's friend says he prefers Harry as it's more informal/relaxed, whereas Henry is his 'posh formal name'.

Your potential Henry wouldn't have that choice. Well actually he would, but it would mean you'd have two sons known as Harry!

thegreylady Sat 05-Jan-13 14:50:36

I'd ask your ds1 and if he doesnt mind go for it.
I know when dh and I thought we were having a baby 23 years ago we were talking about names and wanted Thomas [the full name] however dss1 who is Tom was distraught at the idea and we abandoned it-we werent expecting anyway and never did have a joint dc.

I met someone a few years ago who had two sons called Henry and Harry. Every time I saw her, all I could think about was the fact that she had unwittingly given her two children the same name. To do this knowingly would be completely incomprehensible to me.

If you like the name Henry so much, perhaps you could give it as a middle name. It would look like a sort of homage to your DS1.

forgottenpassword Sat 05-Jan-13 15:04:31

I wouldn't do this as I think it could be frustrating for your boys. It is them who will have to live with the confusion if there is any so I think better not to take the risk. Perhaps they won't mind but why take the risk?

everlong Sat 05-Jan-13 15:10:44

My niece has a Henry and Harry. It's never been a problem.

I wouldn't have chosen them together though.

TidyDancer Sat 05-Jan-13 15:11:05

I really wouldn't do it.

The majority of people will make the connection with them being the same name, especially with Prince Harry being the most famous example of this.

It's a shame as I like both Harry and Henry. DP and I are TTC and Henry is firmly on our boy list.

SuperChristmasScrimper Sat 05-Jan-13 15:38:41

I think this must be like a reverse AIBU... I bet the husband has suggested it grin I just can't really imagine a fully grown woman, and a teacher to boot who must know how children are with names really thinking it would be a good idea to give her 2 sons pretty much the same name. Especially as she is the Mother of both so would know how weird/hurtful it would be for her DS1.

So my bet is she will back on to say she wrote it to prove to her husband that it was a crazy idea!

bananaramma Sat 05-Jan-13 15:42:57

Harry is a nickname for Henry. I would not name my son Henry if I already have a Harry!! How would Harry feel if his little brother got his name (whereas he 'only' got the nickname version)? I honestly wouldn't - there must be another name you like.

Astley Sat 05-Jan-13 15:51:42

My 2 cents is that as a parent to a Henry it is one of my greatest regrets. I kick myself everytime I see the class list, he is one of 5 in his class sad I am so very, very annoyed with myself that I didn't pick something else, I hate that he is the 'Sarah' of his generation. I can think of so many other names now! The other day I even had someone say 'oh great, another Henry' and I realised I am that person with no imagination sad

Secondly we don't shorten, but DD can't say Henry even at 2 1/2 and says 'Harry', so if we had a Harry too, that would be seriously weird.

AlexanderS Sat 05-Jan-13 15:57:13

They come from the same root and for that reason I couldn't. I know somebody who has called their DDs Ellie and Ella and when I posted about that on here to find out if I was the only one who finds that a bit shock the unanimous verdict was that they are essentially the same name (as they are both derived from Eleanor), it was kinda lazy/uncreative and it isn't fair on the kids.

There are thousands of names out there, you will find another one you like!

Astley Sat 05-Jan-13 15:58:58

Yeah that is it, it feels a bit lazy, like you only read one page of the baby name book grin

It's the same name IMHO.

littleacceb Sat 05-Jan-13 16:08:02

Obviously you are making the decision with full understanding of the situation, but it's tricky because to use both names might imply a lack of knowledge on your part, which can be embarrassing for children as they grow up.

Not quite the same, but... We're considering Margaret but our dog is named Meg and it's making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Jan-13 16:17:48

littleacceb I know what you mean there. Have a dog called Milly and it recently dawned on me I can never use Camilla now. Sigh. DP was delighted when I mentioned it though! <sigh>

I think you could get away with Margaret though,she could be Maggie/Mags rather than Meg?

DS1 is Jack, at the time I didn't like John, but over the last few years I've grown to LOVE the name John.

However, I would never use it, because however different the names might look and sound, Jack derived from John and therefore is the same name (so to speak).

littleacceb Sat 05-Jan-13 16:59:45

@Alisvolatpropiis - DH charmingly pointed out that Meg probably only has another 8-10 years on her, so it's ok. Way to make a pregnant woman cry...

We'd probably shorten to Maggie, but it's actually just dawned on me this moment that Maggie is my aunt's dog's name. Oh well, what with my husband and my mum's dog sharing a name, it can just become our family tradition or something!

@TessOfTheBaublevilles - very good point! Just thinking of a well-spoken Henry at school who was devastated at being called "posh" and insisted that everyone call him Harry. Last I saw on FB, he goes by Henry as an adult.

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