Mumsnet Talk

DH is being very difficult over names he vetoes everything but at the same time he (and I) would really like to settle on a few names well in advance of birth. He has very odd ideas about some names such as Oliver and Toby are pretentious middle class names DH is Middle class! He doesn't mind the name kenneth and has on a few occasions suggested Valerie.... for a boy!

Anyway one compromise would be that as long as a 'proper' name to his liking is used on the birth certificate I can use whichever name I like, he doesn't mind and he quite likes unsual names/nicknames as long as its not on the birth certificate.

Just wondering what other people think? Or of anyone has done this has it worked out?

But the name on a person's birth certificate is normally used for passports, doctors registations, tax forms, bank accounts, school reports etc. so I expect it to be very confusing by having two names, an official one and a nickname.... I would continue to search until you find a name you both love!

It's more of a case that it's use when an adult for official docs and as a professional name but if DC was to prefer its used name it could be changed properly when older.
School isn't a problem we will be Home educating.

DH concern that his father, hates his unsual name. It may not be unusal

Oops posted to soon
It may not be unusal just different to BC name.

I like Alice but he would only agree if I put it down as Allison on the BC.

My grandfather had two completly different names, one on his bc, the other which he was known by. This was apparently caused by his parents disagreeing over his name and great-grandad making it to the registry office first but great-grandma exerting all the influence over what he was actually called!

When he died some family members were surprised to discover he had two names.

So it's possible, but honestly, when they are little you spend so much time filling in forms and telling people their name i think you'd do better looking for a name you can both live with. Perhaps he'll look like a particular name when he arrives?

Just find a name you both like, Very odd to have a name on your BC that no one uses IMO

Since when was Alison short for Alice?

I think you need to keep trying until you at least find a nickname you like for a longer name he likes. Alice isn't a nickname for Allison, they are totally different names. And I think that's a bit weird TBH.

My grandfather was always known by a nickname which was totally different from his actual names. However, it wasn't intentional. It came from a pet name which was corrupted over time until it morphed into a real name again. And it kind of stuck. But I think it's odd to set out to do that, especially if you try and artificially generate a link between the two names.

Sorry.

You know what I mean....

2tired that actually reminded me that my gran had a completely different name on her BC but was given another name on adoption. But her birth name was still technically her legal name.

i just don't believe he will agree to a name it's going to be me giving in just to name the baby.
He did also suggest I choose boys names and he chooses girls. I came close to agreeing because I know he's likely to call a girl Scarlett. I can live with it just don't love it and I suspect will be crossing my finger it's a boy.

Lots of my family are known by a different name than that on their BC. Mainly from my Gran's and mum's generation though. For instance in our family we have;

Audrey known as Nancy

Ethel known as Julia

Ellen known as Mary

Winnifred known as Bet

Wierd

scrumpkin Thank you I've been saying the same thing but he's convinced Alice is shortened Allison two completely different names IMO!

cece I think it may be an older generation thing, I also know that many grandparents go by their middle names instead of first.

Ahh I can see us just using our compromise names, which I didn't realise they were I thought they were just going on the list until a few weeks later I mentioned other names DH was confused he thought we had already agreed on names!

Isn't Alice an older than Allison?

I don't know why you would use a completely different name. It's odd in my opinion.

*an older name

Not their middle names though! LOL

Definitely go for a compromise name. I've done it twice and don't regret it at all.

According to the highly dubious source that is Wikipedia, your DH is wrong but scrumpkin had it the right way round. Who knew.

Does that mean you are allowed Alice now? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alison_(name)

Allison although I always thought it was Alison with one l.

Alice Look at that they have the same meaning.... but I agree I think of them as different names.

Lots of names come from similar roots and are not totally distinct names though. And other names we think are related by aren't - I read somewhere that we think of John as a nickname for Jonathan but it also developed independently as a name. Hence there being a book of the bible named John, not Jonathan.

Yea I'm sure Alice is thought of as a 'classic' whereas Allison is quite 80's?

Valentine is an acceptable boy's name with Val as nn.

I think that the name you call your DC by should be on the birth certificate, even if DC will be known by a nickname of one of the 'official' name - there's just so much potential for confusion otherwise.

Would your DH agree to putting Alice, for instance, down as a middle name on the birth certificate, and then you could both call her by her middle name? I know a couple of kids (and adults) who go by their middle names, so I think that wouldn't cause too much confusion.

If not, then I'd go for a compromise name.

youll oh I might just DH is in bed but after our scam tomorrow I will crow about being right.

thegreylady he hates valantine but insist Valarie is popular in Russia... We have no connections to Russia at all! He then says I could call him my favored name of Ivo.

I thought I was meant to be the neurotic one in pregnacy somehow it's skipped me but has gotten hold of DH.

purple yes I think using the middle name instead of the first might be the best way to go about it if we can't agree on a name.