Girls named after their Mother... What do you think?

(29 Posts)
HappyWifeandMum Fri 22-Apr-11 06:19:14

We have some friends who have several children, including boy/girl twins. They named the boy twin after his father, and the girl twin after her mother. First name for first name. Just always seemed a bit strange to me... I totally agree with the concept of naming sons after their father, but it just seems odd to have a daughter named directly after her mother. Do you agree? Would it be any different if say they gave the daughter the mother's middle name as a first name? Should any part of a mother's name ever be given to her own child? What are your thoughts?

nooka Fri 22-Apr-11 06:29:20

I don't think that giving a child the name of either parent is a good idea personally. That you feel it is fine for a dad but not on for a mother is however a very strange point of view. Perhaps you could explain it?

' I totally agree with the concept of naming sons after their father, but it just seems odd to have a daughter named directly after her mother. Do you agree?'

No. I can't see a difference. If it's ok for the male then why not the female? I think it's unimaginative to name both children after both parents though!

HappyWifeandMum Fri 22-Apr-11 06:38:31

Actually I cannot... I started this thread to try to figure out why in the world I would feel that way, as admittedly, it is very self-contradictory! I think it just seems natural to me for sons to be "Jr's", but a bit odd for a mother and daughter to have the same name. I was hoping your input could help me sort it out! Thank you!

dexifehatz Fri 22-Apr-11 12:21:10

Boring and unoriginal.

Cattleprod Fri 22-Apr-11 12:25:36

Arrogant and egotistical on the part of the parents.

Women are usually more sensible. That's why it's more common for sons. Horrible, horrible tradition.

Tuggy Fri 22-Apr-11 12:28:45

It's just as stupid and ridiculous for a mother/daughter as for a father/son

You cant say it's fine for one not the other!

Whatevs Fri 22-Apr-11 12:49:51

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. It wouldn't be my choice, but I can't see the harm in passing names down the generations. Not everyone wants to be 'you neeeeeek' grin

Bue Fri 22-Apr-11 14:49:31

It's a silly idea, but it's equally silly to name boys after their fathers.

thumbbunny Fri 22-Apr-11 14:51:31

Stupid idea.
But am very hmm at you being ok with the men doing it, but not the women.

<<drags OP into 21st Century>>

I am pretty indifferent. I wouldnt do it myself but my DS does have my Grandfathers names as his mns. I liked the names anyway, if I hadnt I wouldnt have used them.

I really love the name Kate but its very similar to my own name and so I chose not to use it.

4pudding Fri 22-Apr-11 16:21:44

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith went similar but opposite ex, Willow and Jayden. Only occurred to me the other day.

I don't like naming children after parents.

But if I thought it was ok and normal to name a son after a father, it would be equally normal to name a daughter after a mother.

It's not though. It's weird.

Emelene Fri 22-Apr-11 17:15:43

My friend's middle name is her mother's name. I think it's OK, but personally I wouldn't do it and if I wanted a "family" name I would use it to pay respect to a particular member of the extended family.

My dad and his sister (first boy & girl born in the family) were named after their father and mother respectively. It didn't strike me how weird that would be til I had my own kids... I personally wouldn't like it but think it's been pretty standard practice historically for a long time.

I do agree that the same applies for father as mother, don't see any difference there at all.

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene Fri 22-Apr-11 17:47:48

Silly? Stupid? Ridiculous? Arrogant? Egotistical?

If people like their own names enough to pass them on, what business is it of anyone else's? At least they've road-tested the names themselves! It's a damn sight more honest and practical than giving their offspring a ludicrous name that is likely to make them a laughing-stock.

nooka Fri 22-Apr-11 18:53:13

I think in practical terms it just doesn't work very well, and if you have both parents and two children even more so. The result is likely to be that the children aren't actually called their given names at all and end up being called 'junior' or 'baby' or some other horrible non name. Or they get 'little / wee / young' added to the name which I also dislike.

I like the idea of using family names, and I'm OK with parents names as middle names for their children, but prefer going up at least another generation. My dd for example is named after two great grandparents, so she has a bit of family history without being over shadowed or there ever being an confusion. Her name is very much her name, not a shared name.

It's a total straw dog to suggest that if you don't use your own name for your child you have to choose something outlandish or made something up - there are hundreds if not thousands of tried and tested names to choose from.

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene Fri 22-Apr-11 20:58:22

It's a total straw dog to suggest that if you don't use your own name for your child you have to choose something outlandish or made something up

Oh, come on, that's not what I said. I said it's better than one other possible route, not that there aren't any other choices.

(You did mean straw man, I take it, and not straw dog confused )

nooka Sat 23-Apr-11 01:54:09

Oops blush yes I did get that wrong. It didn't seem quite right at the time, but I got diverted into thinking about the movie and wondering why it was called that and didn't think to check.

I wasn't just responding to your post though Eugene, someone else also brought up unique names, and I think it is a bit irrelevant really.

HappyWifeandMum Sat 23-Apr-11 02:04:18

So let me clarify, so I understand the general consensus here... If you don't really like your mother/grandmother's name but are OK with it, then it is good to name your child that name, but if you think your folks did a great job of naming you and love one of your own names, then using that name is tabu, because it is not generationally removed?

(BTW, on the Will Smith and Jada P-S note, we also have some friends who did the same thing... The father's name is Victor Jesus, the mother's name is Emily Jane. They named their children Victoria Jane and Emilio Jesus. Interesting... Not my style, but interesting.)

HappyWifeandMum Sat 23-Apr-11 02:15:06

By the same token, if your name was Claudia Bernadette, and you didn't care much for Claudia, but had always loved Bernadette, would it be off-putting to name your child Bernadette?

ohnoshedittant Sat 23-Apr-11 02:29:09

I think the general consensus is;

naming children after their parents isn't a very popular choice.

it's no different for boys/girls. Either it is ok to name after the mother/father or it isn't. To say it's ok for fathers/sons, but not mothers/daughters is really very silly.

That's what I concluded from all the posts....

nooka Sat 23-Apr-11 04:55:15

I don't think that anyone has suggested it would be a good idea to call your child a name that you don't like. I think that ohnoshedittant summed up the responses pretty accurately.

I don't think there would be anything wrong with using your middle name for your child (assuming it's a nice name), but most people I know who like their middle names but not their first names are known by their middle names.

everlong Sat 23-Apr-11 06:58:25

OP that is just plain weird.

Bonsoir Sat 23-Apr-11 07:01:18

I think that in the interests of drawing clear boundaries between parent and child that parents' first names should not be used for their children's first names under any circumstances. The practice of naming children after parents seems positively medieval to me. Modern psychology hates that practice.

ChildofIsis Sat 23-Apr-11 07:44:36

In my family daughters are given their mum's middle name or version thereof.

My dd4 is the fifth generation to have this.
We think it's a lovely tradition and one that includes a lot of thought about middle names, they're going to be around a long time so need to be something timeless.

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene Sat 23-Apr-11 14:16:34

Not so many people do this these days, but it may become fashionable again. If someone wants to do it, they are perfectly entitled to do so. In practice, many names have more than one form or have multiple nicknames, so confusion is not inevitable.

zozzle Mon 25-Apr-11 20:16:51

I gave my daughter my middle name as her first name - just because it's my favourite name ever. When I asked MN opinion on this every single poster thought it was fine and a nice idea.

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene Mon 25-Apr-11 20:20:41

Now that I think of it, the Queen was named after her mother - they are/were both Elizabeth.

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