middle name conundrum!

[firsttimer78]

My dad passed away 5 years ago this November so I would like LO to have a middle name that has a link to him. His first name is one that is shared by over half the males in mine and my DHs family in one form or another (gets v confusing!) but he had an unusual middle name - Dempster. If wee one turns out to be a boy I think we have a first name that sounds nice with it, but what do people think about this for a girls middle name? And can you think of any good girls names to go in front of it?

[CupcakesHay]

Could you use Demi for a girl?

[firsttimer78]

Ooh, never thought of that! Not sure I like Demi enough to have as a first name tho...will need to think about that one! Thanks!

[megonthemoon]

I have a female friend who has a surname as her middle name in honour of a relative. It doesn't sound at all feminine, and in fact would also be equally unmasculine if she had been a boy, but it doesn't matter because it is her middle name so she is never called it, but she still has that link to a family member. I also have a friend who wanted to give her dc2 her dad's name as a middle name regardless of gender so her dd has a male name as a middle name. Again lovely because everyone knows who is being honoured, but not used in any context where it would be weird as she is just known by her first name. My ds has my mum's maiden name as his middle name and while it is a boy's name we would equally have given it if he had been a dd.

I say, if you want to use Dempster as a middle name then use it regardless of gender. Nobody will call her that name but she will know she is named after special person and that is the most important thing.

[megonthemoon]

But i'm one of those people who sees no point in middle names unless they are to honour family members, so of course I would say 'just use it' regardless of femininity etc.

Wrt what it goes with, I think it probably works with most names - imagine if your surname were and work from that.

[megonthemoon]

That should say 'surname were dempster'

[ValiumSingleton]

I'd just use the sur name Dempster. I remember a girl who had the middle name Woodrow and I thought that was cool. Compared to claire, you know......

her first name will make her sex quite clear. Some people don't even have a mn and it doesn't lead to gender ambiguity!!

I wouldn't try and turn it in to a more girly-sounding name.

[mathanxiety]

I know girls who have the middle names McAllister and O'Connor, so I'd just go right ahead.

What was your Dad's first name, and is there a feminine version that might be nice? Do you have any other family names that might be nice? (I like family names)

[NewbieT]

I think it's a lovely way to honour your Dad, and absolutely fine for a girl to have a masculine name or surname as middle name, totally agree with what megonthemoon said.

Having said all that, if you did want to consider a slightly more feminine variation, how about Dempsey?

[firsttimer78]

Dad's name was John but he was known as Iain. Husband's name is Iain. His dad is Iain but known as John. My grandad was John. One uncle is John known as Ian. Another is just Ian. And finally I also have a cousin called John!!!!!!!!! No imagination my family... but not sure you can feminise it really.

[mathanxiety]

John has a lot of feminine versions -- Johanna, Jean, Jeanne, Jehanne, Joan are all English or recognisable to English speakers, and there are any number of other European versions. Then there's Seonaid in Scots Gaelic. Sinead and Siobhan in Irish.

[horatia]

I like the idea of Demi.

[IsItMeOr]

Another vote to definitely go for Dempster, regardless.

So long as there's a reason behind it, I think it's great.