Worse child's name EVER

(793 Posts)
CupcakesHay Thu 29-Jul-10 18:32:54

Me and my Dh were talkign about awful baby names, and i thought I'd share.

I used to work in a passport office - and we had an application for a brother and sister....

She was called Florence-Jolly (yes, with the hyphen) and he was called Lionheart! LIONHEART! grin

Still makes me laugh... poor love!

Who's heard of worse?

ReasonableDoubt Thu 29-Jul-10 18:33:38

Kid at my DS's old nursery called Blade.

Why would you?

<sucks teeth> This will not end well. You will now be told off by FJ/Lion's mum.

deemented Thu 29-Jul-10 18:36:01

Six week old twin girls at softplay once called Dolce and Gabbana.

Dolce and Gabbana! Noooo!

deemented Thu 29-Jul-10 18:39:32

Oh yes. I'll admit it, i judged. And then came home and wrote about it on MN grin

notnearlyasblondasiwas Thu 29-Jul-10 18:44:31

A colleague at work called her son Mungo - I know there is a saint Mungo etc but every time she talked about him, I just remembered the character from Blazing Saddles Mongo

lionheart Thu 29-Jul-10 18:47:37

nowt wrong with that second name. wink

hairymelons Thu 29-Jul-10 18:51:14

Latte. Shit you not.

5DollarShake Thu 29-Jul-10 18:51:58

I heard about a child back home in NZ called (first name) Rhythm (middle name) Ecstasy.

And we mustn't forget Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii.... hmm hmm

mrswill Thu 29-Jul-10 18:53:07

Worst one I've heard is 'wolf', screamed at by 2 quite gothic looking parents in the local spar. Child in question was a girl. biscuit

Celery Thu 29-Jul-10 18:53:20

Boy/girl twins - Pele and Cartier.

Connor, which is fine until you realise his surname is Reyer, pronounced 'ree-ur'...

Meglet Thu 29-Jul-10 18:58:15

Not sure it's the worst name but when we registered DD's birth the registrar was chuckling at the people before us calling their son Rocket. Bit cool, but probably a bit silly.

She was hilariously unprofessional.

FanjolaLansbury Thu 29-Jul-10 18:58:37

Summa Darlin, fgs why?

FanjolaLansbury Thu 29-Jul-10 18:59:55

God Rocket is a friend of a friend grin, forgot about that, the surname is something pretty cool, I forget what.

scurryfunge Thu 29-Jul-10 19:02:25

mrswill....I would so have to shout "It's the woooooollluuffff" grin

withorwithoutyou Thu 29-Jul-10 19:05:37

Calico Blu (male)

CharlieBoo Thu 29-Jul-10 19:09:45

There was one in the paper a few years ago and they'd named the baby girl Disney....

ConnorTraceptive Thu 29-Jul-10 19:11:24


seeker Thu 29-Jul-10 19:20:38

Unfortunately the worst I know personally are borne by my unfortunate step nepehews and nieces well, they were before the re namig ceremony that they each chose to take part in between primary and secondary!

The two worst I have come across are a brother and sister called Glint and Toulouse.

CupcakesHay Thu 29-Jul-10 19:25:40

Oh - there's some awful names there! twins def bring out the worse in people!

I think if my Dh had his way we'd have a Disney or an Orlando as he's obsessed!

Connor has to be the funniest (well - with that surname!)

There was a little boy on TV once called Rory McRory! How mean is that?

Cakey0207 Thu 29-Jul-10 19:30:40

A friend was going to name her son Wayne... Doesn't sound that bad until you add the surmane King...

Wayne King... LOL!

chocolatefroggie Thu 29-Jul-10 19:36:48

I was in tesco's and saw a little boy being screamed at by his mother,'' Asda come 'ere'' shock
and a girl at my cousin's school called Pysche Postlethwaite hmm

MummyLovesSadie Thu 29-Jul-10 19:37:18

One of my Facebook friends is Wayne Ankers! grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 19:41:12


Tresemme??? Disney and Dolce and Gabanna??? shock shock shock Oh my God!!!.

I know an Alexander Alexander, ok not the worst but seriously, how completely unimaginative would you have to be to be that mans parents? "I know! how about Alexander?"

Badgerwife Thu 29-Jul-10 20:15:00

I've heard of a Clinty, so called after the world famous "clinty swood"...

IlooklikeGrotbagstoday Thu 29-Jul-10 20:27:27

I heard a De Niro being yelled out in the park yesterday. Looking for inspiration for boys names at the mo but definately won't be adding that to the list.

elainesdaughter Thu 29-Jul-10 20:43:44

Girl next bed to me in hospital when I had ds called her baby girl Cissy-Sparkel.

CupcakesHay Thu 29-Jul-10 20:46:48

Dh just reminded me of a guy we used to know, who wass in his 60s. He was one of 12 - and his dad was called Lawrence, so he was Lawrence Junior. Then the 2nd to last kid (bizarrely) was ALSO called Lawrence, but was called Larry - so two lawrences in same family.

Also knew a David Davies...

BikeRunSki Thu 29-Jul-10 20:48:07

Polaris. In softplay centre about a year ago.
Not sure if she had any siblings - Trident perhaps?

PaulineCampbellJones Thu 29-Jul-10 20:51:39

Holli-Tot with sisters called Heidi-Boo and Hobi.

IsThatTheTime Thu 29-Jul-10 20:54:10

Cupcakes I work with a David Davies and once dated a (different) David Davies. I think it might be a Welsh thing?

Whelk Thu 29-Jul-10 20:56:05

These threads always come across as snobby and 'aren't the working classes funny with their name choices'. All a bit of a cringe for me!

BellevilleRendezvous Thu 29-Jul-10 21:01:35

ok I saw one in the Daily Telegraph the other day - Loveday Celestine Primrose Kennedy (Kennedy was not a surname or the mother's maiden name). All the names separately ok, but a bit much for one child I thought.

CupcakesHay Thu 29-Jul-10 21:02:09

Whelk - Florence-Jolly and Lionheart were from a very posh Britihs-Swiss banking family...

usualsuspect Thu 29-Jul-10 21:06:39

Elsie/Ethel/Alfred/George/Charles/Arthur take your pick

ChateauRouge Thu 29-Jul-10 21:08:14

I know a Starsky and a Little Twinkle, and a CalvinKlein [sic].

MunchMummy Thu 29-Jul-10 21:09:37

Nelson and Yorick

brockleybelle Thu 29-Jul-10 21:11:41

I worked on Summer camp in America and there were two sisters, Cinnamon and Ginger. Poor loves.

TwoIfBySea Thu 29-Jul-10 21:14:34

I was at school with Robert Robertson we nicknamed him Ditto.

As mum of twins I did my best to steer clear of the matching names but I do know (as in actually know rather than heard of) a Mercedes and Portia (I really hope they spelled it that way but I fear not!)

Wolf makes me think of Gladiators!

tattycoram Thu 29-Jul-10 21:14:43

I don't think it's necessarily snobbery. Very middle class children I have known with funny names include Gandalf, Bofar, a whole family of planets and Geronimo.

Chateau, I met a small Starsky in a playground recently.

Eglu Thu 29-Jul-10 21:17:04

When DS1 was at nursery there was a Quaid.

sonniebonnie Thu 29-Jul-10 21:19:27

I actually think that a lot of names on this thread are nicer and more interesting than the boring Jack/Alfie & co.

We all have different tastes. But why the need to make fun of other peoples' choices?

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 21:22:40

but it's OK to call other people's choices "boring"? wink

ChateauRouge Thu 29-Jul-10 21:23:45

tatty- there must be more than one then, because I live in a different city to you [puts on Advanced Search SKills badge]

sonniebonnie Thu 29-Jul-10 21:25:37

No, you're right, it's not ok to call a name boring. But it's not quite as bad as calling a name "the WORST name ever".

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 21:30:07

Well, I think if I had chosen a really unusual name, I would be fully prepared for some to love it and some to hate it, it wouldn't bother me if someone thought it was the worst name ever, if I liked it.

NMcK Thu 29-Jul-10 21:33:56

Wurzel - I kid you not

sonniebonnie Thu 29-Jul-10 21:35:35

Good for you that it wouldn't bother you. It may well bother others.
(And no, I don't have a child with any of the names on here.)

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 21:36:43


FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 21:36:58


amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 29-Jul-10 21:40:38

Ivor Hardon

usualsuspect Thu 29-Jul-10 21:41:35

Teresa Green
Ben Dover

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 29-Jul-10 21:41:53

Willy Ulcer was a good one

roses12 Thu 29-Jul-10 21:49:56

Did Wayne king have a sister called joy? lol at some of the names. Was going to call my dd India till my mum said are you still thinking of that funny name, what was it again Australia? Put me right off

LuluF Thu 29-Jul-10 21:51:09

I've mentioned before that I knew of sisters called Scania and Mercedes (father was a lorry driver) and, again I heard of more sisters named Rebecca (Becks) and Stella (father owned a pub).

Also, a friend whose parents were teachers, told me there was a boy at their school called 'Isaac Hunt'. You would say it out loud, surely?

Colliecross Thu 29-Jul-10 22:06:42

Breeze and Haze - cousins
Worst of all LaTrina - unbelievable

MrsSnaplegs Thu 29-Jul-10 22:10:50

talking to a colleague tonight who knows male adult twins called ...........

Duran and Juran shock

And they work together!!

Very 1980's!

tattycoram Thu 29-Jul-10 22:27:40

Maybe it will be the new Jack, chateau

Tortoise Thu 29-Jul-10 22:34:30

Girl at my DS's school is called Blue Velvet!

thefirstmrsDeVere Thu 29-Jul-10 22:34:37

I hate these threads too and have given up posting.

Except - I think Cissy Sparkle is a beautiful name... Would definate go on my list if I were having a DC6.

MrsvWoolf Thu 29-Jul-10 22:48:18

I rather like Loveday Celestine Primrose, I saw it too, though I wouldn't use it personally.

ladykay Thu 29-Jul-10 22:48:46

Isaac Hunt!!!!!!!! That's brilliant! My face has gone wonky laughing.

QuantaCosta Thu 29-Jul-10 22:51:42

Sisters called Bubbles and Pebbles.

Ineedsomesleep Fri 30-Jul-10 08:09:56

usualsuspect we did choose one from your list, its a family name on both sides and we really like it.

Whichever name you choose there will always be someone turning their nose up at it.

CupcakesHay Fri 30-Jul-10 08:17:51

I dind't mean any offence by starting this list. Surely everything is just people's opinions?

Like someone might like the name Mike and someone else might hate it.

So sorry if I caused offence, it wasn't intended.

MummyLovesSadie Fri 30-Jul-10 08:23:28

Cupcakes this is a brilliant thread. I've not added to it but it has had me chortling!

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 30-Jul-10 08:27:23

I think its ABSURD to suggest that someone might choose a really "out-there" name and then get hugely upset if someone didn't like it, I think you'd probably accept that you'd get mixed reactions to the name, and be pretty secure that YOU like it, to have been brave enough to have chosen it.

em83 Fri 30-Jul-10 08:28:34

chanel-coco hmm
nikey (as in sportswear)

I sat next to a Richard Head at a school dance where we invited the local boys' school.... I always assumed it was urban myth, but no, there he was, with a name place card to prove it.

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 08:29:10

seeker what were your stepNs' names before they changed them?! dying with curiosity here!

I got confused reading through this I thought somebody knew a child called cupcakes! blush (perfectly possible though!)

my friend used to babysit a Beyonce.

I worked at a playscheme one summer and there was a very sweet family, a boy called St John (pronounced Sinjun) a girl called Honeybea and a boy called Judge (actually think I like that one but I'm not sure!)

I know a Dazzyboy. Not a nickname for Darren or anything moderately sensible like that, just Dazzyboy followed by whatever his surname is on his birth certificate. Poor kid.

TigersChick Fri 30-Jul-10 08:39:47

anonymousbird - A friend's dad is called Richard Mussel - and choses to be know as Dick ...

Just to show that unusual names are nothing new: DH's nan is called Clipsy. She hates it as has gone by the name Peggy since she was 16.

On the twins front ... I have come across 2 sets of twins from opposite ends of the spectrum. A pair of boys called Andre and Andrew and a pair of girls called Emily and Lambretta ...

I agree that it's all a matter of personal preference but sometimes I do wonder if people went out deliberately to be controversial.

tortoiseonthehalfshell Fri 30-Jul-10 08:41:40

I have come across a Possum and a Digger, as well as a Norman Nosurname (really), and I know a bloke called Sundance.

LuluF Fri 30-Jul-10 08:44:18

I knew someone who changed his name from something very ordinary to Cisco Horsetrough.

CardyMow Fri 30-Jul-10 08:51:57

I know someone who called her son Sage, one of her daughters Gaia, and for the life of me I can't remember the other girl's name, but it was more unusual than the other two! I also know someone who called her girl twins Chanelle and Lambrini (I kid ye not).

NOTHEROLDIE Fri 30-Jul-10 09:04:44

Sam and Ella. true

zozzle Fri 30-Jul-10 10:26:19

I came across a little Pagan once - not great if she later decides to become a Christian!!

CreepyFunbags Fri 30-Jul-10 10:48:32

I like St John! And Detroit is quite cool too.

CreepyFunbags Fri 30-Jul-10 10:51:55

St John is an old name, C19th.

QueenOfFlamingEverything Fri 30-Jul-10 10:54:15

Oh this is the thread for my personal favourite - my friend once met a traveller couple who called their first DS Boy and their second DS Newboy grin

I always wonder what came next - Anotherboy, followed by Toomanyboysalready perhaps?

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 10:57:30

maybe one day they ended up with Finallyagirlatlast

montmartre Fri 30-Jul-10 10:58:46

zozzle I actually know a child named Christian Pagan (fname sname)... v odd choice of forename if you ask me!

I also know one called [forename] Blue Wale... obv parents were having a laugh.

vegasmum Fri 30-Jul-10 11:01:33

all true

la toyah
b'lana (as in alana but b instead?)

all would be really useful during a job interview situation when the child is older!
thats my rule with childrens names if they could feel comfortable using it in an interview its ok!

vegasmum Fri 30-Jul-10 11:03:18

btw if anyone is wondering my dd is not called vega!smile

uptooearly Fri 30-Jul-10 11:04:00

A friend of mine once had a colleague whose daughter was called Vivi Zahara Boggs.

And another friend knew someone whose surname was Small, and was married to a Mr Rasch, called their daughter Amber and double-barrelled their surnames for hers. A Small-Rasch.

And my sister knew a Greek-Cypriot boy whose Greek name was Michalis Michail, but translated into English it became Michael Michael.

Ewe Fri 30-Jul-10 11:07:22

I know of a baby Nirvana, bit out there but for them it really works. Imagine she gets a lot of hmm faces when she introduces him though.

uptooearly Fri 30-Jul-10 11:07:29

And I once read about an American woman who had named her children Anthony, Antony, Antonia, Antoinette, Antoine, Antonio, etc.

I watched Jeremy Kyle yesterday and the first segment was a feud between two brothers named Fox and..... Dave!

I couldn't work out who had the worst deal really.

mamaloco Fri 30-Jul-10 11:10:40

Pecabo (girl, pronounced pick-a-boo) confused

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 11:16:42

I wonder if anybody names their kids after cartoon characters? my DD's favourites: Peppa and Pocoyo, perhaps?

PenguinNZ Fri 30-Jul-10 11:18:45

My GDad was called Stuart Stewart. Went to school with a Russell Sprout.

I do like unusual names, Sundance for example is fantastic, but have a similar policy to Vega's interview one. I used to be an HR bod in a bank and would think that if I got a CV with the name XXXX, what would I think?

In the space of less than an hour, I once received a fax from Elvis and an email from Jesus. Was my fave hour at work ever! grin


MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 11:21:20

my friend is Aaron Elvis, and IIRC his brother's middle name is Presley

smugaboo Fri 30-Jul-10 11:22:41

I thought St John was an old fashioned English name? And Judge? Judge Reinhold (Beverly Hills Cop).

But I have the best one. La-a. Guess how you pronounce it?

uptooearly Fri 30-Jul-10 11:26:38

My policy on naming my children is that their names need to allow them to make convincing rock stars, judges or vets.

I think I've struck the right balance....!

Loujalou Fri 30-Jul-10 11:27:16

I know a lot of "Michael Michael"s but then I am Greek and they name them after their fathers! Wouldn't say its the worst name ever but might explain the "Alexander Alexander"!

smugaboo Fri 30-Jul-10 11:57:19

So, no-one wants to know how to pronounce La-a? Well I'm going to tell you anyway. Wait for it ....


LuluF Fri 30-Jul-10 12:01:12

I was trying to work it out. I would never have got to that, though!! That's pretty insane.

YunoYurbubson Fri 30-Jul-10 12:06:05

I always scour these threads waiting to see dd's name.

mamadoc Fri 30-Jul-10 12:10:50

Sometimes it must be hard to think of all unfortunate possibilities. The parents of my college housemate probably thought Richard De Coe quite a respectable choice but it didn't stop us all calling him Dickie Dicko poor lad.

edam Fri 30-Jul-10 12:13:42

There was a Teresa Green in my sister's class at primary school. Parents were a bit dim, they built their own house but forgot to leave enough room to get the caravan they'd been living in during the build out. It was still there by the time I'd left home as they didn't have enough money over to pay for a crane to lift it out!

Heard in Asda at Clapham Junction: "Shaniqua, get your arse over 'ere naaah"! (Although I have no idea how they spelt it, probably Shaneekwa.)

lilllysa Fri 30-Jul-10 12:16:17

Girl next to me when I had DD was VERY VERY chavvy . . (Very loud, up to smoke every 2 mins, loud swaering and even had a fight on the maternity ward) and she called her boy Baby D

First name - Baby
Middle name - D

No last name. Cause thats classy like.

cathers Fri 30-Jul-10 12:25:27

I know a loveday and starbeam. (Actually kind of suits the little girls).
DH had a client with a little girl called chlamydia. Honest - prettty if you ignore the meaning.

bananastainsonallmytops Fri 30-Jul-10 12:57:24

I think Mercedes is a nice name. It is Spanish originally, long before the car company was created.

Once knew a boy at school called Thorn.

I feel sorry for some of these when they get older.

bananastainsonallmytops Fri 30-Jul-10 12:58:39

*these kids blush

LilRedWG Fri 30-Jul-10 13:06:38

bananas - I think that the man who founded Mercedes, the car company, actually named it after his daughter - Mercedes, so you are probably right there.

LilRedWG Fri 30-Jul-10 13:06:56

I know a Christian Hayter.

Colliecross Fri 30-Jul-10 13:07:51

that is awful!!

LilRedWG Fri 30-Jul-10 13:08:47

He doesn't even shorten it to Chris. He's a grown man, in his thirties.

LuluF Fri 30-Jul-10 13:21:08

I wasn't suggesting that Mercedes wasn't a nice name (I'm not sure I'm the only person who posted) but with Scania - it's not good.

My X-BF's 'family name' was Thorn - usually tucked in the middle somewhere, though.

Horntail Fri 30-Jul-10 15:49:29


Cruel if you ask me.

Kayc (pronounced Kay cee)just stupid!

Crystal Leer (ok till you realised her middle mane was Shandel) This last from a friend whose mother teaches in an American junior school

Barley and Broccoli. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

I also know siblings, ones called Emma, the other Dale .

rachel234 Fri 30-Jul-10 16:07:37

Broccoli is pretty strange....

But I can't see what is wrong with either Emma or Dale confused.

rubbersoul Fri 30-Jul-10 16:08:46

Baby D?! Bloody hell, I've heard it all now!! grin

I've known a Carling, Princess, Armani and Blade

MrsKitty Fri 30-Jul-10 16:21:17

Rachel234 Emma & Dale...Emmadale...Emmerdale grin

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 16:26:57

My DH was nearly called Moonbeam. His mum was totally out of it after the birth.

The MWs (thank f*ck) actually refused to write that down. so in the end he was named by the MWs rather than his parents - because they had to pull him out, they called him Paul! hmm

Peabody Fri 30-Jul-10 16:33:54

vegasmum I'd bet that B'lana is named after B'lana Torres from Star Trek.

My husband and I always swore that if we had twins they'd have to be named Luke and Leia. I think we would really have done it as middle names. Luckily for our children they were singles.

Exactly MrsKitty.

She didnt realise until sometime later when she shouted their names together in the park grin

My DC have very ordinary names, but when pronounced together sound very much like a kids tv show. I ummed and aahed about the second name choice, but then thought 'sod it, no one will remember the tv show in a few years'. Bastard tv execs commissioned a revival of said tv show. It was short lived, and luckily none of the DS's class mates have picked up on it.

ChoChoSan Fri 30-Jul-10 16:51:08

I've known a Zoom, Wolf and Sage, Popacatepetl, and heard of twins called Cinderella and Snow-White (Ghanaian family)

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 17:07:29

hang on AFP, so the Emma Dale fiasco was unintentional?! seriously? what are the chances! Dale isn't exactly a common name!

oooh chickens can you give us a clue what tv show?

MathsMadMummy Fri 30-Jul-10 17:09:14

oh, and aforementioned DH's exW called their son Luke. if it weren't for a family tradition - all first boys in DH's family have a certain boring middle name - his middle name actually would've been Skywalker hmm

Emma was her adopted step-daughter who she'd had from a few months old, but still grin

wisteria12 Fri 30-Jul-10 18:53:00

A woman with 4 DDs, called:



I also know an Aloysius Danger Moon (Danger is his middle name), and a woman with Sylvester, Paddington and Leamington.

LexieKJ Fri 30-Jul-10 19:19:57

OMG did you see the list of other names in that Talula article? (below) (posted by 5DollarShake)

"In his written ruling, he said names such as Stallion, Yeah Detroit, Fish and Chips, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit were prohibited by registration officials. Others that were permitted included twins called Benson and Hedges, other children called Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter and, the judge added, "tragically, Violence". Another mother tried to use text language for her child's name, he said."

Personally, I've heard two that have made me gasp in horror, the first being Calamity-Jane (a friend of mine taught her at primary school a couple of years ago) and the other one is weirder, but I can't say it here as I know the mother is on this site!

MummyLovesSadie Fri 30-Jul-10 19:34:22

Lexi I wonder if it is the same family that was on Wife-Swap a few years ago? Their kids were called:

Calamity Jane, Haby-Blu, Capability Jack and Bow-Jango..... confused

LexieKJ Fri 30-Jul-10 19:38:08

You're joking?! I have watched that show but I don't recall seeing that episode (doubt I'd forget it lol!). Could be that family I guess....sort of want to think it is tbh, it's better than thinking there are two kids out there with that name!

I used to know a family who had five children, all named after capital cities. Individually, the names are okay-ish, but as a family it sounds a bit ridiculous. Also, the surname is kinda funny in itself so the kids didn't really stand a chance!

MummyLovesSadie Fri 30-Jul-10 20:05:06

I wish I was! Read this.

MummyLovesSadie Fri 30-Jul-10 20:11:22

Oh & What about Sarah Palin's children?

LexieKJ Fri 30-Jul-10 20:57:34

Wow! The child definitely wouldn't be as old as the one in the article, so there are at least two Calamity's out there lol.

The only one of Sarah Palin's kids names I like is Piper. I least like Trig (doesn't even sound like a name to me). Seems like the next generation are following her trend as well, if baby Tripp is anything to go by....confused

justonemorethen Fri 30-Jul-10 21:35:24

A charming shreech across TK Maxx told us all that "Infinity" was up to no good.

My ex has a daughter with best friends Sage and Paige.It's impossible to ask what they've all been up to with a straight face.

LadyThompson Fri 30-Jul-10 21:36:10


DilysPrice Fri 30-Jul-10 21:40:18

My pet hate is ill-omened names.

Heathcliff (the late Heath Ledger's given name). And Cassandra for that matter. And Ophelia (the ghastly puns are bad enough with that one).

Seriously, it's like putting a Bad Fairy's curse on your own child.

bebejones Fri 30-Jul-10 21:42:14

Little girl in our local paper Armani-Blue hmm oh and a Tallulah-Bell

My mum baptised a Hunny-Jo hmm

Not sure what this trend for hyphens is all about?!

shockers Fri 30-Jul-10 21:57:30

At my DD's year 6 show at a local theatre (all the schools in the borough were there) the lovely lady behind me who had sniggered when the children from DD's special school came on hmm, screeched "Go on our Michigan" when one of her DD's classmates was reading a poem. Michigan beamed with pride...

binjibaghi Fri 30-Jul-10 22:02:00

lovely man does tours of the giants causeway - Hill Dick ( 1st name hill surname dick )

Lucilastic Fri 30-Jul-10 22:04:02

My mum's friend has children called Sharon and Darren. We live in London and yesterday at our local toddler group twins aged 3 arrived called Reggie and Ronnie. They have an older sister called Charlie. I mean WTF?

I quite like Tallulah-Bell blush.

poshsinglemum Fri 30-Jul-10 22:09:37

I taught a Saxon once. Luckily the girl was very popular with her peers and I grew to like it.

LexieKJ Fri 30-Jul-10 22:10:01

LadyThompson - Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers has a daughter called Sunny Bebop. Teeters between weird and cute for me!

DilysPrice - I know of a brother and sister called Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw who actually live(d) in a house called Wuthering Heights. And no, I'm really not kidding. confused

LadyThompson Fri 30-Jul-10 22:22:07

Well...you see, I think it's ok as a middle name. If people really want to let rip, I think the middle names are the place to do it.

thefirstmrsDeVere Fri 30-Jul-10 22:24:43

Tallulah-Bell is lovely.

gwenner Fri 30-Jul-10 22:42:22

Kid at nursery called (with accurate spelling) Makzimyllion

toccatanfudge Fri 30-Jul-10 22:54:14

ooo that's good DS's names didn't make it onto the thread this time grin

toccatanfudge Fri 30-Jul-10 22:55:40

my exSIL's DD's name sound very similar - but aren't at all the same written down (aothough I always get them mixed up - I won't put them on here as they're unusual (in the UK) names and I'm sure there's not many around with that combination of name

LJS666 Fri 30-Jul-10 23:00:23

Catie-Dee-Ann - add a London accent and a glottal stop (which you would where I'm from, luv) and you get Cay-ee-Dee-Enn.


You have to think about the local accent, round here "Hayley" becomes "eye-l-eye".

NonnoMum Fri 30-Jul-10 23:04:34

Agree with the poster who suggests that some of this is a bit cringey and poking fun at the working-classes.

And some of it is a bit misguided. Talk on the radio today poking fun at Mercedes, which is, as has been mentioned, a Spanish girl's name. The Benz company, post-war, wanted a non-German sounding car to help boost sales. So he named the car after his daughter IIRC.

And v funny that people keep laughing at Portia/Porsche (same sound), which is a Shakespearean name.

As is Brenda.

MsHighwater Fri 30-Jul-10 23:19:44

I know of a Blue-Jean

MsHighwater Fri 30-Jul-10 23:23:37

and have heard tell of an Ibroxia. (in the west of scotland, of course).

I know a lady who taught a femali or at least that is how is she thought you should spell it, the poor little girl was named after the baby girl in the next bed whose name tag read female (surname) as she had not yet been named!

I was at a oganic local show and there was a lady there with a little girl called Areola, my friend teaches a wild cat and a Blu-Ray

MathsMadMummy Sat 31-Jul-10 10:19:05

it's a shame, I love the name Aurelia (and other French names) but DH said no as it'd sound like areola

I bumped into a couple from our antenatal class and their son was called Ajax, I thought it was quite cool

I think Ajax is greek....

yup Ajax is Greek it means strong warrior

lamplighter Sat 31-Jul-10 14:56:39

I know a Scarlett Velvet and have heard of (not unsuprisingly from their social worker) twin girls called Pepsi and Barcardi

muggglewump Sat 31-Jul-10 15:00:34

I met a family whose son was named Kick, they were Dutch so I asked what it meant in Dutch, it was Englishconfused
They were a lovely family though and the boy suited it.

muggglewump Sat 31-Jul-10 15:02:11

And I should've said, they were quite alternative, travelling round the world at the time, I met them in Bali when I was travelling with DD.

elvisgirl Sat 31-Jul-10 15:17:49

I heard a mum calling out what I first heard as "queefer" but it was her dd's name Queeva (not sure of spelling). Nice calling your daughter after a fanny fart! grin

plonker Sat 31-Jul-10 15:23:22

Could it have been Caoimhe elvis? Pn Kwee-va or Kee-va.

It's a very pretty irish name (IMHO) meaning beautiful/gentle/precious

elvisgirl Sat 31-Jul-10 15:31:22

Could have been plonker. It wasn't in Ireland, in Australia. Can't see how you can get to that pronunciation from the spelling for the life of me but am always rubbish as Irish names like Siobhan etc The mum first called out the shortened form sounding like "Queef" so I was well surprised hearing that ringing out in the cafe!

arses Sat 31-Jul-10 15:43:29

elvisgirl you get to that pronunciation from the spelling because Irish (Gaelic) is a distinct language from English! A true language of its own!

AlistairSim Sat 31-Jul-10 19:02:47


jaebird Sat 31-Jul-10 19:03:31

I once knew a Polly Esther Cotton. All reasonable names by themselves.

prozacfairy Sat 31-Jul-10 19:37:51

Polly Esther. I kid you not. apologies in advance to Polly's mum if she's on MN by the way. It just seems a tad evil to name your DC after a manmade fabric grin

Also Myles. second name Long. What is the matter with some people?!

muggglewump Sat 31-Jul-10 19:43:53

I'd forgotten about this, but my exbf's best friend named his son Aston. Not so bad until you hear his surname-Martin
Yep, he likes the cars but still no excuse, I like cheese but I didn't name DD Stilton Brie Gouda.

CaveMum Sat 31-Jul-10 19:47:20

I know of a Gandalf and an Aubergine.

I've heard the urban legend story about the young Thai girl who moved to the USA with the unfortunate name Rammit Deep.

FellatioNelson Sat 31-Jul-10 19:48:20

LJS666 talking of accets, I really liked Zanthe for a girl when I was pregnant with DS one, 18 years ago. But I told someone I knew who had a rather ahem authentic saaf Lahn-ndon accent, and she said 'Zamf-eye? Haah jar speow dat den?

It was immediately crossed off my list.hmm

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sat 31-Jul-10 19:54:12

(Very normal <ahem> middle class) couple I know of have just named their baby Spike - that child will be pre-judged forever more.

FellatioNelson Sat 31-Jul-10 20:02:26

I think Condeleezza is pretty crap, but she's a very intelligent and talented woman, and it clearly hasn't held her back.

And anyone remember Sudio, the little baby murdered by her father/step-father, named after Su-Su-Sudio, the Phil Collins song?

I know a little girl called Kenyon. Which is just ugly.

A girl called Moet as in Moet et Chandon(pronounced Moway, naturally, and oh, how I want to meet her mother so I can tell her.)

I have met (years ago) young women called Piper and BoBo. I think they are both really cute names. Though I'm not sure I'm brave enough for BoBo.hmm

A boy called Dax. He's about 22 now.

My son is Baby D.shock His name begins with D so when he was born that's what he became known as! These days he's a bit big for the 'Baby' bit, so we just call him Dee or Dee-Dee. Everyone calls him it - even at school.

Have known of a few girls called Destiny.

Girl called Ocean
Girl called Priory. Yes, that's right, Priory.

Someone named their son Dwayne Pipe - it was in the paper!

latrucha Sat 31-Jul-10 20:05:58

poshsinglemum - I taught a boy called saxon. He was a cutie too!

oh and 2 sisters - Nina and Simone!

I read a magazine with an article in it about the mother of triplets, i forget what the girl was called but the boys were blue and fox.

ageing5yearseachyear Sat 31-Jul-10 21:10:07


has to be the worst made up name ever

maxpower Sat 31-Jul-10 21:11:05

Riley-Roo Treacle and her brother Rocko Rocket.

scottywooh Sat 31-Jul-10 21:11:50

My friend babysat for a girl born on Shrove Tuesday...
...yes, you've guessed: Pancake

littlemefi Sat 31-Jul-10 21:28:42

I looked after a little girl called Gemma Panther,she had a sister Samantha.

loonyrationalist Sat 31-Jul-10 21:40:23

That is bonkers!! My dd was born on shrove Tuesday

It never crossed my mind to name her pancake

FluffyCut Sat 31-Jul-10 22:12:52

theres an Arwen in my dds school. And my friend teaches a Blaze (might be spelt Blaise? I have no idea)

FellatioNelson Sat 31-Jul-10 22:18:33

Blaise is a proper name though!

FluffyCut Sat 31-Jul-10 22:34:04

I was trying to be nice, its Blaze trust me grin

welshgirlintherain Sat 31-Jul-10 22:43:14

Fluffy what's wrong with Arwen? It's a beautiful Welsh name....I considered it for DC3 but as we got a DS I couldn't use it grin! (gave him a lovely welsh boys name instead!)

FluffyCut Sat 31-Jul-10 22:44:32

blush sorry I didnt know that. It is a very pretty name but just so Lord of the Rings iyswim?

LetsHaveAnotherOne Sat 31-Jul-10 22:45:36

Angel Slot (I kid you not!)....shock

welshgirlintherain Sat 31-Jul-10 22:50:07

Tis very Lord of the Rings...bloody Tolkien grin! DH had that exact issue with the name as he felt everybody would think we had named her after Liv Tyler in LOTR-thankfully we both agreed on the boys name!!!!

Angelmich Sat 31-Jul-10 22:51:26

Wow - this thread has made me laugh - great stuff!!

I know a baby Shakira! 'whenever, whatever...lalala' wink

wisteria12 Sat 31-Jul-10 23:04:34

Chandelier. Pronounced "Shan-deh-lee-ay"

terryble Sun 01-Aug-10 00:20:50

I read of identical girl twins names Kate and Duplicate.

That's cruel.

terryble Sun 01-Aug-10 00:21:05

*named, sorry!

superdragonmama Sun 01-Aug-10 01:20:08

Local Brummie mum a few years ago asked her 2 year old to name the new baby - it ended up with the name 'laalaa' - the toddler's fave tellytubby

anyabanya Sun 01-Aug-10 02:42:08

Emporia and Euphoria. Two little girls. Overheard their mother calling them at the swimming pool.

what is wrong with d'artagnon?

ElusiveMoose Sun 01-Aug-10 08:18:11

ageing5yearseachyear, Calcifer is not entirely made up - it's the name of the fire demon in Dianna Wynne Jones's book 'Howl's Moving Castle'. I can only guess that that's where they got it from. But even though it's one of my favourite books, I personally would not have chosen to call my DS Calcifer grin.

ShadeofViolet Sun 01-Aug-10 09:44:50


Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 01-Aug-10 09:53:46

There are a great selection at one of the toddler groups we go to.

Peppa (yes as in Pig)
Lorca - also a girl
Brady - also a girl, I thought it was a boys name

Also a sprinkling of Crispins and Hermiones. Which are nice names, but a bit OTT.

Romilly70 Sun 01-Aug-10 09:55:49

Was in mothercare, bluewater yesterday and one of the mums was yelling at her daughter "Tuscany".

ZZZenAgain Sun 01-Aug-10 10:11:12

I want to work in a registry office

angel2001 Sun 01-Aug-10 10:30:52

my friend was married to a dug graves, my daughter went to school with a happiness and promise. just cant imagine a 80 yr old called promise or happiness

JellyBelly10 Sun 01-Aug-10 10:32:57

I used to know someone whose mum was a midwife and apparently a baby she helped deliver got named Genitalia.
Maybe some of these people have surnames which preclude them from choosing names they'd otherwise like, so they choose more unusual ones instead.
When I was naming my boys I had to be careful because my surname is Down, so we couldn't have:
Ben Down
Neil Down
Mark Down
Bob Down
Miles Down
etc etc....and had we had a girl we couldn't have named her Ida...but then we didn't actually want any of those names! But it was something we always had to consider!

Pancake? That's ridiculous! Why not Tuesday which is considered an actual name and, although not to everyone's taste, much less open to ridicule?! Bonkers!

Still to be enlightened what is so bad about D'artagnon (pronounced Dart an yon btw)he was in cahoots with 3 muskateers but can't find any vile characters connected to name at all (bugging me as is a family member's name)

deliakate Sun 01-Aug-10 10:46:19

The worst name I have ever heard was a 3 or 4 year old girl named Peculiar.

Its quite sad because SIL met her family in Zambia and they proudly told her the name. SIL explained (she is African) what it actually means, and it transpired they had thought it was something pretty, like Petunia, or Petula.

But I guess it does sound pretty if you don't know what it means, so doesn't really matter!

ttalloo Sun 01-Aug-10 10:48:14

One of my friends was at school with a Comfort Table.

I know a Teresa Green too - she married a Mr Green, but as nobody calls her Treesa there's limited comedy value in her name!

Madasajarofwasps Sun 01-Aug-10 10:51:26

I went to school with a Gaye Hole - bit unfortunate - bet she married young!

MummyLovesSadie Sun 01-Aug-10 10:53:18

Madas!! shock - <spits out drink & snorts simultaneously>

BrightLightBrightLight Sun 01-Aug-10 11:02:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daisystone Sun 01-Aug-10 11:11:05

Tequila - yes really. She's about 19 now. Her mother thought it was dead sophisticated like. shock

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 11:15:58

oh yes - just remembered a Remy. What is it with alcoholic drinks?confused

ratspeaker Sun 01-Aug-10 11:16:54

Sone countries have an official list of names you MUST choose from
So spare a thought for the Swedish child whos parents tried to name him in protest
( pronounced Albin )

SophieHatter Sun 01-Aug-10 11:30:30

Have namechanged as to not out me in RL.

MathsMad DC named after a cartoon character? Guilty as charged smile

ageing5 I was going to say that Calcifer is not made up as such but see Elwire got there before me wink Howl's Moving Castle is my favourite book. I would easily call a future DS Howl if it didn't rhyme with our surname blush I love the parent's choice!

Oh and Bebop is fabulous! Reminds me of one of my favourite anime shows called Cowboy Bebop grin

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 11:34:32

I saw that Loveday Primrose Celestine baby in the Times birth announcements (always read them so I can judge judge judge) and I thought it was lovely.

displaybook Sun 01-Aug-10 11:52:31

I've name changed to say that although I have never met her, I'm pretty sure the girl in the Op is my cousin's ex-girlfriend, there must be only one set of siblings with those names surely! Of course, we've never sniggered at the names either! blush I also wait for my two to be mentioned on these threads, I have a Charlie and Lola. Tbh, most people don't notice/haven't heard of them. Either that or they are too polite to say anything.

Lonnie Sun 01-Aug-10 12:01:33

I knew a guy once called Orm may not appear so bad He was half Chineese and Half Danish..

In danish Orm means worm

CaveMum Sun 01-Aug-10 12:25:57

If you want to see a whole load of awful baby names, I highly recommend this site

Pant wettingly funny!

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 13:19:23

Wow, I could spend hours on there.shock

Who knew there were so many ways squeeze a new spelling out of Mackenzie and Madison and Michaela?confused

Americans, and especially very young, very poor Americans really do excel at this crap name thing don't they? they are world champs at it, without a doubt. We are lightweights in comparison.

daisystone Sun 01-Aug-10 13:32:29

What an excellent site. I love Toolio DeSac and Monroe Charlize.

deliakate Sun 01-Aug-10 13:38:04

Orm! Reminds me of Orm and Cheep. I loved those two.

mindtheagegap Sun 01-Aug-10 13:38:46

'Pink' - for a boy! Just cruel.

I went to school with a Tammy Stains
(not too bad until you think that we all called tampons 'tammy's')

My mum taught a boy called Ben Dee


I once knew a set of twins called Tia and Maria
I will never understand why you would name children after alcohol

beanlet Sun 01-Aug-10 13:46:45

My very non-racist aunt, a history teacher, had a very dark-skinned girl in her first class of the year on American civil rights whose name was Phylthia. My aunt agreed to call her Phyl.

i don't know if this has already been mentioned but....

a while back I remember a story about someone in America naming their baby 'Meconium'

Imisssleeping Sun 01-Aug-10 14:37:24

I heard someone call out David, Cameron was around the time of the election so for a aplit second thought he was on a publicity tour then realised she was calling out her sons names.
Not sure if they were brothers or twins but she could have shouted Cameron David wouldn't have sounded so funny.

MaudofallHopefulness Sun 01-Aug-10 15:02:56

Dilys, that's why I couldn't name my son Jude. I love the book Jude the Obscure, and the name but what a tragedy his life was. Didn't want such a tragic name for DS.

Cadmum Sun 01-Aug-10 15:18:55

I once met a Richard Manlove and he chose to go by the name Dick. Words failed me when we were introduced. It is one thing to have an unusual name but to create one through a nickname seems worse....

prozacfairy Sun 01-Aug-10 16:01:52

Ooh just remembered my stepmum went to school with a girl called Beverley Miller (not real surname). Nowt wrong with that... until her mum married her new man and changed her daughter's surname to Cleverly!

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 16:06:20

I had a tradesman in my house once called Lee. He told me his wife was Tina, and their daughters were Leanne and Tia. So Tina, Lee, Leanne and Tia. Bet that looked nice on Christmas cards.confused

Porcelain Sun 01-Aug-10 16:07:26

I knew a Speed (boy) and Shadow (a blonde girl, but whenever I heard her name it reminded me of the guy from Gladiators.)

Porcelain Sun 01-Aug-10 16:08:06

Oh and a John Thomas - why would you?

kalo12 Sun 01-Aug-10 16:09:28

I know a few girls called Paisley which i always think is an odd name

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 16:14:21

Paisley is quite pretty though...

2kids2dogsandahorse Sun 01-Aug-10 16:45:11


For a girl

Which definitely deserves a biscuit

weegiemum Sun 01-Aug-10 16:47:18

I'll bet none of the girls called Paisley live in or around Glasgow though ....

2kids2dogsandahorse Sun 01-Aug-10 16:52:50

Oh and I went to school with a St John (sinjun) and... wait for it....

Gaylord hmm I mean why would you do that to a child? He looked like a little fat pig in a blonde wig too, think Little Lord Fauntleroy with a snout

weegiemum Sun 01-Aug-10 17:02:25

In the North of Scotland, especially in the islands, its very common to get Donald Macdonald etc as names. I taught an Auley MacAuley and a Murdo McMurdo too.

In some doctor's surgeries you can get a whole shelf of notes all for different Donald Macdonalds. My dh worked as a GP there and had to get very vigilant about checking dates of birth!

EduStudent Sun 01-Aug-10 17:07:48

I was at school with a Stone, and my sister knew a Nike.

Our local paper had a Jaydee-Lexii the other day. Nice names, but spell it normally!

daisystone Sun 01-Aug-10 17:17:34

Cadumum - I knew a Richard Menlove! Slightly different but not much. What a surname....

ohnelly Sun 01-Aug-10 18:13:07

I know brothers - not sure if they are twins called andy & andrew - how stupid is that!!

meadowlarks Sun 01-Aug-10 18:40:00

Dick Upchild. No joke. I actually cringed when we were introduced. Why wouldn't you use Richard?

CheerfulYank Sun 01-Aug-10 18:58:03

The La-a thing (pronounced Ladasha) is an urban legend. I just read a blog about it on the baby name wizard website.

Um. I have a Sam. And if we have a DD next time she will be Eleanora, called Ellie or Elle. blush Here in the US though the first L in salmonella is emphasized (SALmonella) so perhaps it won't be so bad?

CheerfulYank Sun 01-Aug-10 19:00:07

What's wrong with John Thomas? Am I missing something?

Also I knew a Blade too. I always think of Wesley Snipes, so this spindly pale red-headed kid was quite the contrast.

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 19:05:14

John Thomas is a willy. A penis.

wonka Sun 01-Aug-10 19:07:16

Boy on the neonatal unit at the same time we were called Spike!

CheerfulYank Sun 01-Aug-10 19:15:36

I thought so. Was is always, or just because that's what Charlott's first husband called in on Sex and The City? It's not really called that here, but then we don't say willy either.

CheerfulYank Sun 01-Aug-10 19:16:27

Was it always I mean. And Charlott*e* and called it. Cripes I can't type today.

Pachelbel Sun 01-Aug-10 19:19:17

sweetnessandshite I agree about Tuesday being an accepted name, even though it is not to my taste.
However, the one I know is spelt Toozday hmm Am I right in thinking that's a completely made up spelling? Or am I mistaken?

on the train to euro disney with us was a 8 or 9 year old girl called DISNEY-CHARICE oh dear!
and at my sons nursery was a girl called....CLICHE > FAINTS <

I think John Thomas is what the gamekeeper calls his in 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' isn't it? Think so anyway.

Worst I knew at school was Damocles. Probably fine these days but in the 20 years ago in a tiny village in the sticks it raised some eyebrows!

Bloody hell I can't type either tonight! Must be catching...

CheerfulYank Sun 01-Aug-10 19:32:23

I'm contagious I am. Have never actually read Lady Chatterly but always meant to. DH and I actually considered John Thomas called Jack for a name...glad we didn't go with it now!

Although apparently my plans to have a Sam and Elle are no better...

SoLongAsItsHealthy Sun 01-Aug-10 19:35:21

I have never heard anyone refer to their willy as John Thomas. I know there's a reference in Lady Chatterly but in real life I seriously doubt it would be a big deal. It's hardly a book well-read in schools!

Child at DS's old nursery called Brawntay.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sun 01-Aug-10 19:45:27

I've heard it being called John Thomas - it's not unusual.

Wonka - that wouldn't have been on a neonatal unit in Glasgow quite recently, would it?

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 19:51:20

OPh OP I'd get that deleted if I were you, I worked fro Customs & Excise and tbh if i'd posted that and was caught it'd be out on my ear

Worst name I ever saw?

Mummy loves sadie I too have a contact with that name- friend of DH's. Not in Somerset are you?

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 19:51:59

But I like Spike. Spike is cool.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sun 01-Aug-10 19:56:00

Spike is the name of a dog - or it's a nickname.

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 19:56:25

(and sympathies jellybelly- try naoming 4 boys with the surname Peach! At elast we didn't have girls- everything I liked sounds like a Wilko air freshener)

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 19:57:26

I've never met a dog called Spike

But I have met many called Bobby and still don't mind kids being called that

Notr that I have a Spike but I like it anyway

chipmonkey Sun 01-Aug-10 20:00:38

SLAIH, it was also in "The Meaning of Life" and I'm afraid I would instantly think of the willy reference!

ZombiePlanB Sun 01-Aug-10 20:13:21

As ds' school I have seen a name tag with Monet on it. With the accent handwritten on top.

In London so 'Mon-ET!'

poor kid

Backinthebox Sun 01-Aug-10 20:15:27

A friend's friend named her child after a beautiful flower, or so she thought. But she got her Clematis and Clemidia mixed up! (That's the way it was spelt. I KNOW the correct way wink)

MisterMahoohoo Sun 01-Aug-10 20:16:51

Tittybangbang - I think we know the same child (there can't be two with that spelling surely).confused

I have teacher friends, one has taught a child called Godgiven and another who currently has one called Cutie.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sun 01-Aug-10 20:42:29

That's because Bobby is short for Robert, which is a very old, very popular human first name - although I've never met a dog by that name. Spike is the name of the dog in Tom and Jerry - there, you do know of one wink

broodywantcoilout Sun 01-Aug-10 20:43:35

i still think coco cox is a funny one (child of courtenay cox of friends fame)

blushingm Sun 01-Aug-10 20:44:48

we had a security guard at work - i think he was nigerian.....................he was called Innocence. I thought that was lovely

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 20:47:38

I didn;t even know there was a dog in tom and jerry pmsl

Maybe the Bobby dog thing is regional? Quite common back home, parents etc. They also had a Ginny mind which is ahrdly doggy either

I have 4 boys, 3 with boring names by some standards (Samuel, Harold (usually called Hrry) and Sebastian (usually Bas mainly because ds3 cannot say Sebastian due to SN). I also though ahve a Stirling which is unusual and everybody says 'OOh I ne ver ehard that name before' and I say 'Stirling Moss?' and they say 'Oh yeah' PMSL

SanctiMoanyArse Sun 01-Aug-10 20:48:10

And Y to Innocence and Godgiven: not names I might choose but beautiful nonetheless.

CreepyFunbags Sun 01-Aug-10 21:16:34

Angelmich, I know a baby Shakira too. Are you in the north west?
Although I think I read it is quite popular in Australia, unless I dreamt that.

getstuffed Sun 01-Aug-10 21:19:20

Hysterical thread, thank you!!!! dunno why the sanctimonious ones amongst us bother reading or posting when the title pretty much says what to expect but hey-ho...

CreepyFunbags Sun 01-Aug-10 21:21:18

Innocence is a beautiful name.

My friend dated a Santa, then after him, her next boyfriend was called Fire.
Sadly she's been single since.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sun 01-Aug-10 21:21:28

How on earth does anyone get through their childhood without knowing that there is a dog on T and J! Stirling is well known up here, both for Stirling Moss and the town - I agree, it's probably a regional thing. I can't think of many regions where Spike is popular however - or rather, I can wink

spur Sun 01-Aug-10 21:22:49

Kayne and Diamond

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 21:25:31

And they are always the ones to pipe up 'That's it - let's all have a laugh and a sneer a the expense of the working class.' hmm Sorry? Who mentioned them? We are laughing at bizarre and appalling taste, misguided bravery and mind-blwoing eccentricity. If that's how you find the working classes, then that's your own problem - don't pin it on the rest of us! hmm

"I have teacher friends, one has taught a child called Godgiven and another who currently has one called Cutie"

Oh those are sweet names! I love a lot of African names. There's a child at ds's school now called 'Blessing', which is gorgeous. DS's middle name is 'Fabulous', in the African tradition (DS has got a drop or two of African blood - his grandad is from Guyana and has African and Asian forbears) smile

MrMahoohoo, I live in a fetching corner of Sarf London I like to refer to as 'Little Lagos'. A great place - you're never more than 20 yards from a shop selling dried fish, wigs or Bibles. grin

SparklyJules Sun 01-Aug-10 21:27:23

A London couple who are friends of friends called their daughter Tuppence. They honestly cannot know what that is slang for.

DH used to know a Wyatt Earp and also an Armani and Levi (brothers).

When my aunt was HV in Glasgow years ago she had the pleasure of meeting a little baby girl called Pocahontas (guess which Disney film was currently in the cinema?).

pranma Sun 01-Aug-10 21:29:11

I wanted to call dd Lucy which I love but b-i-l said 'oooh loose elastic' which put me off a bit.When he chose Claire for his dd I tried 'chocolate eclair' but it was a bit feeble and childish I'm afraid.

'Mango Franjipani' (a girl)

Fruit first name, flower middle name.


wonka Sun 01-Aug-10 21:34:21

Masie No not Glasgow and 7 years ago.. Not a nickname either registered birth name.. We thought it was just a pet name he did have a shock of spikey black hair but she proudly showed us his bith cert once the register had been round! grin

PeppermintPasty Sun 01-Aug-10 21:39:18

I absolutely swear on my life I am not making this up-years ago when I lived in Hull our tea lady at work told us about a girl down her street whose parents had named her Canderelle....!!!! She had never heard of the sweetener when we told her so I don't think she was fibbing.

I think the parents must have thought they were safe by adding the "le" on the end.

Nice grin

Apparently they had another daughter called Paris. Named after the perfume, natch.

Bloody fabulous.

noshouting Sun 01-Aug-10 21:40:07

Gianni and Versace McClatchie, twins in Glasgow. Makes me smile every time I remember.

becaroo Sun 01-Aug-10 21:40:26

Twins in scbu called Trinity and Neo hmm

A girl toddler in a restaurant called Ocean hmm

A girl in NEXT I overheard being called Darcy-Elsie hmm

Nothing toodreadful though smile

FellatioNelson Sun 01-Aug-10 21:44:43

I don't know what Tuppence is slang for either, but I think it's a very cute name!

tittybangbang had to look at your profile after that post about 'African blood'. You have exceptionally beautiful children.

PeppermintPasty Sun 01-Aug-10 21:50:48

oh and a lawyer i know had loads of children with lots of middle class names(by his own admission) and then went fairly bonkers i think with his last girl-they called her Friedrys, god knows how to spell it. But it's said like FriedRice-I kid you not. They called her Fridy for short. Blimey.

Numberfour Sun 01-Aug-10 21:51:29

porche and cooper. sister and brother.

hi i am a support worker and worked with a person called justin case what was his mum thinking

shockers Sun 01-Aug-10 22:06:28

I knew a boy called Justin Pink!

I remember hearing someone screeching after calling Porsha (Porshe/Portia?) and Precious in a Post Office once, wasn't sure whether to be amused or horrified so settled with both grin

I clearly do not associate with anyone who owns a Porsche as I cannot spell it blush

SixtyFootDoll Sun 01-Aug-10 22:20:11

I know a Cooper but I think its cool.
I met a ' Dolby ' the other day, I so wanted to ask if he came in stereo.

freyski Sun 01-Aug-10 22:26:46

I heard on the radio about a couple who called their daughter lanesra. The DH suggested it. It was obly at the christening that his mate let slip that it was ARSENAL backwards. The DH was a season ticket holder!

Tippychoocks Sun 01-Aug-10 22:39:27

Girl at my school left to have her babies in the v early 90s and called them Mirage and Taboo

I know a Rogue. Which does not bode well for his future patners and makes me think of Mills and Boons more than a little. It's rather dashing though I suppose, better than the comedy names.

LetsHaveAnotherOne Sun 01-Aug-10 22:41:51

Robin Binns - I went to nursery school with him many years ago.

Mercedes (who - rumour had it - was concieved in a taxi!) hmm

shergar Sun 01-Aug-10 22:46:13

Met a child in Canada who was called God's Little Gift. Thought that was the ultimate name until I was introduced to his sweet, ringletted blond little sister, who was called Repent or Burn. They were admittedly members of a v. peculiar religious sect, but nonetheless it still weirds me out.

NonnoMum Sun 01-Aug-10 22:46:24

Portia is a Shakespearean name! Bet Will's mates ROFL when they went to see that play...

"Just been to see some play where someone got stabbed and there was a bird in it called Portia - named after a woman in the olden days apparently... Portia, what WAS he thinking of the (admittedly witty and pretty industrious) chav!"

SpanishHarlot Sun 01-Aug-10 22:48:13

I remember when I was a solicitor two brothers who were clients one was called Thomas John and the other (you guessed it) John Thomas....couldn't see them without cracking up afterwards every time..

AlisonDubois Sun 01-Aug-10 23:01:55

3 brothers at DS1's school...Kai, Dwayne and Rio. When DS told me their names i honestly thought he was joking...he was not!

alexisfaith Sun 01-Aug-10 23:03:11

Broody - sorry to be a pedant, but Courteney Cox's daughter is Coco Arquette, not Cox, as she has her father's surname. So slightly less strange sounding!

At a university, DH taught someone whose name was pronounced 'Punani'.

Tippychoocks Sun 01-Aug-10 23:13:30

snort at punani

greentea72 Mon 02-Aug-10 00:03:36

went to school with a girl called Song - who had a sister called Dance!!!

Rockbird Mon 02-Aug-10 00:38:55

What's wrong with Gaia? I rather like that. Isn't Emma Thompson's daughter called that, or someone like her.

There is an American skier called Picabo, apparently it's Native American.

twins -Ziggy & Jet

Mooos Mon 02-Aug-10 05:00:59

Read in the paper last week of a chav in Aberdeen calling her sone Cole Seller. Idiot.

Athrawes Mon 02-Aug-10 05:16:59

It isn't a made up name but nonetheless quite a handful for a little boy to go through school with...Vladimir.

MathsMadMummy Mon 02-Aug-10 08:29:14

my art teacher was called gay standing

re: Ajax - yes, I'm more than aware of the ancient origin, which is why I like it - and it suits the family as the dad is a big biker dude, very cool.

I just wondered if they knew that it's also a cleaning product

d'you think they'll call the next one cif?

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 08:32:03

Could those names just be nicknames? I and a lot of people call DD4 Juicy. It is not her name (and she is not called Lucy either) but I assume that someone who does no know us, hearing me call her that might think it really is her name.

I think Vladimir is a really nice name.

MathsMadMummy Mon 02-Aug-10 08:37:14

I like Vladimir, does stand out a bit though. I knew a couple of Dimitriys too.

<snort> @ Friedrice

allbie Mon 02-Aug-10 09:42:24

Bunty Buttercup, but I really think children just grow into their names and after a while nobody really cares. Some of the names listed are rather nice...some are a little off the wall but, what the hell,eh?

Lucifera Mon 02-Aug-10 09:45:18

MadMaths Mummy, there's a journalist/writer called Gay Search, and another called Veronica Groocock who wrote a book ages ago entitled "How Women can Succeed in Business". Ahem.

FellatioNelson Mon 02-Aug-10 09:48:10

I went to school with a boy called Terry Glasscock. Now that is a millstone round a boy's neck if ever there was one.

gagamama Mon 02-Aug-10 09:52:10

Not really the parents fault as it wouldn't have meant anything to anyone when he was born, but 8yo DSD had her friend David over on Friday evening. Which is obviously fine. But it transpires that his middle name is Cameron. Poor kid.

There is also someone living in my block (have seen their post) named Julia Ceseare or something. Similar enough to Julius Ceasar to make me chuckle, anyway.

Molinko Mon 02-Aug-10 09:53:23

My MIL told me of a white family who called their first child Ebony and second child Trinity, Duh.

divadollz Mon 02-Aug-10 10:17:53

Once spoke to a Christian Victory and heard of a Crystal Ball.

OhWesternWind Mon 02-Aug-10 10:32:14

Dp once taught a Zadia 2la (pron Too-la).

FellatioNelson Mon 02-Aug-10 10:36:58

I wonder how many chikldren have been registered with names that are wholly or partially in textspeak? I would legislate against that to be honest.

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 10:44:58

It is the first time I hear of a textspeak name! I can now it my words there are some names that aren't that great!

daisystone Mon 02-Aug-10 10:54:45

I worked in a school where there was a Rob Roy.

At the same school there was a Kitten (girl) and a Samphire (girl) hmm

femmefranglaise Mon 02-Aug-10 10:59:09

Heard shouted across a park in a broad Glaswegian accent.....

'Pocahontas... come 'ere, Pocahontas'

SanctiMoanyArse Mon 02-Aug-10 11:10:54

I posted wankella yesterday; I apologise, that was not accurate. It was, of course, Wanklyn. How could I be so confused (WHY would anyone do that to a child?)

Best bit was when we went to visit said child's school nobody batted eyelids at that but all the kids PTSL at the name of my Sebastian.

SanctiMoanyArse Mon 02-Aug-10 11:20:23

I like Cooper but used yto be in a Mini CLub

pmsl at Mirage & Taboo, think I may be right age to appreciate that!

Sis always wanted an Earl until her DH (Mr Court) put his foot down...

There are some truly poor names out thwere (is anyone really going to defend wanklyn?) but also some nice ones on here as well; I like all the flowery ones esp., bil would have been Pansy if a girl and ds4 Pixie, both with surname Peach- we'd have made the list for sure!

Colliecross Mon 02-Aug-10 11:29:14

Quite like Samphire in a way...

I know of a girl with Down syndrome named Male - now that is cruel and stupid IMO. She is not a male and I wonder why it is allowed.

biddlek Mon 02-Aug-10 11:32:15

I used to live by an Emma Dale, and I know an Ann Field!

A baby at our baby group was called Kirby, but I kind of like it now!

PMSL at Wanklyn! grin

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 11:33:31

Maybe it is supposed to be promounced a different way than it is spelt and has a beautiful meaning in its origines?

SanctiMoanyArse Mon 02-Aug-10 11:43:04

What wanklyn? Nah, British family; I did think about cultural background immigration when I first saw it. Wouldn't have been funny if they'd arrived here or had tradiitonal reasons to use it.

EveWasFramed72 Mon 02-Aug-10 11:45:13

Oh, I am ROFL...these are just ridiculous!

But, I've got a few good ones from teaching in rural Georgia for a few years:

ThankGod (I swear, I am NOT making that up)
And...my all time favourite Chel-C (which is a fine name, but the spelling...yikes!)

Colliecross Mon 02-Aug-10 11:47:51

Ooh, Queenesther! I did see a beautiful calm queen of sheba type vision then.
What was the real one like?

laughalot Mon 02-Aug-10 11:48:11

I can top you all at little boy at my ds school has a brother called smirnoff no it aint a wind up its the truth, why on earth would you do it ?

mybabylookslikepob Mon 02-Aug-10 11:58:31

Boy called Norton - after the parents' favourite motorbike.

Twins called Sam 'n' Ella - because the parents thought it was FUNNY to make their kids sound like food poisoning.

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 12:01:51

Sorry SanctiMoanyArse, I did not realise I x posted. It was for the name "Male!"

No 5 bus stop.

No kidding, they passed a law in that country to prevent such madness.

Colliecross Mon 02-Aug-10 12:06:42

Just caughu up gorionline
She is an English girl and they do say Male; it isn't Mah-lay or something.

OK, so my memory had failed me somewhat, it was actually

No 16 bus shelter.

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 12:11:43

Colliecross, yes, a bit sadthen.

AllThreeWays Mon 02-Aug-10 12:12:11

last name Bull

thefirstmrsDeVere Mon 02-Aug-10 12:16:09

I once met a Merlin Hollywoood which I thought was the most beautiful name.

I grew up with a dreadful surname. Luckily during my early years most of the children at school had English as second language so didnt really get it.

That changed when we moved out of inner London.

I have a nice one now but ironically have loads of trouble with it. It is said how it looks but people just will not pronounce it right and keep trying to make it something different.


I know a kid called TigerBear.

Lovecat Mon 02-Aug-10 12:27:49

Some of these are brilliant

DD has a Prince Emmanuel (and you have to call him by both names) in her class.

I'm sure I've said this before on MN but DSis graduated with a boy who had Caligula for a middle name...

We were camping at Latitude 2 weeks ago and the fearsomely efficient woman in the tent next door (six kids and a full field kitchen in 24 hour operation) had a Milton and a Jonty amongst her offspring - what the hell is Jonty short for - or is it an actual name?!?

DD wants to change her name - to Chantelleconfused

DH has taken to addressing her as 'Firstname Middlename Chantelle Beyonce Spudulika Surname' when she's in trouble

Bessie123 Mon 02-Aug-10 12:41:16

I used to know a girl called Asti Martin

Dede08 Mon 02-Aug-10 12:45:34


FirstTimeMum2Be Mon 02-Aug-10 12:48:53

I once knew 3 sisters call honey-bee, truely-scrumptious & dolly hmm

Colliecross Mon 02-Aug-10 12:50:22

Jonty is a short for Jonathan.

Asti/Asta is a 'star' name -I have a fifties girls story about sisters Asti and Vanora.

MummyLovesSadie Mon 02-Aug-10 12:59:29

Check this out!

MummyLovesSadie Mon 02-Aug-10 13:01:13

Don't throw rotten veg at me but I think 'honey-bee, truly-scrumptious & dolly' have a certain charm!! Must be my pregnancy hormones talking! grin

SlackSally Mon 02-Aug-10 13:01:16

Wanklyn is an actual surname. My Aunt and Uncle are called Wanklyn.

I suppose that's where the name comes from.

Bessie123 Mon 02-Aug-10 13:07:18

But Asti with the surname Martin??

I also heard of 2 sisters called Misty and Beaujolais(sp?)

SanctiMoanyArse Mon 02-Aug-10 13:08:56

Ah I see!

Good, glad it has origins at least

5StoneDown Mon 02-Aug-10 13:12:59

My Great-Aunty is called Merlyn, her sister is Beebe (pronounced Bee-bee), my nan got off lightly with Thelma.

My nan wanted to call my mam Dilys, which is fine but not with their surname, Willis. Luckily she was overruled.

Olifin Mon 02-Aug-10 13:17:57

I love Merlin Hollywood :D

At one school I worked in, there were a large family of kids who all had unusual names. Can't remember all of them but the ones I taught were Guvnor, Geronimo and Princessing The Lady Jane.

MisterMahoohoo Mon 02-Aug-10 13:22:01

Tittybangbang - I know a Blessing as well and love that name. Godgiven however hmm, not so much the name but the inevitable jokes that would ensue...."Miss, God made me do it", "Where's God? Not here? So much for the omnipresence of God then!" and you could never get the hump without somebody piping up about the wrath of God.

I'm in 'sarf London' too. That description has made me grin.

Colliecross Mon 02-Aug-10 13:22:14

Olifin that Princessing etc is the pits.

feralgirl Mon 02-Aug-10 13:22:18

My best mate's DH wants to call their baby Peregrine. She's praying for a girl...

OP, I like the name Florence (but not Jolly biscuit); I was thinking that I'd quite like to name a future DD Florence, but then I remembered that DS's name is Fred.

Florence & Fred = not cool.

feralgirl Mon 02-Aug-10 13:23:32

I once knew an Olly Berry grin

shitforbrains Mon 02-Aug-10 13:24:42

My mum is a counsellor - she had therapy session with a woman .. "Mrs Lee" who had a son called Obvious.

I work with a guy called Jem Stone. I haven't yet worked out in my own head if this is outrageously cool or outrageously stupid.

shitforbrains Mon 02-Aug-10 13:25:30

But on the plus side, DS's names are not present on this thread thus far. Happy days!

sparkle12mar08 Mon 02-Aug-10 13:25:54

We had a Cruz and a Romeo in my son's nursery. How desperate...

MisterMahoohoo Mon 02-Aug-10 13:29:17

becaroo - I trump your Trinity and Neo with a Trinity, Neo and Morpheus (although they were quick to add that eveyone usually called him Ryan) we met in the park, they were lovely but it did make me think what I would name my kids if I chose film characters as inspiration.

I think Magenta, Riff Raff and Frankenfurter would be far worse, so chose not to judge to harshly grin.

Bessie123 Mon 02-Aug-10 13:41:55

Cupcake has to be a contender for stupidest name? It was for a girl, at least.

JumpJockey Mon 02-Aug-10 13:49:37

A girl of about 25 called Puffin. Possibly named for the Puffin club where you got free children's books?

And yes this is very unfair because the chap's from overseas, but am I allowed to titter at DH's acquaintance Hung Lo?

I worked in india for 6 months, where all the locals thought my name was hysterical, as they interpreted it as 'cat' or 'kite'. Yep, my name's Kate.

Be careful who you laugh at.

JumpJockey Mon 02-Aug-10 14:14:36

Whimsical - that's exactly what I mean - plenty of names sound funny to someone who speaks a different language. (sorry, it also sounds like I laugh at him in person, that's not what I meant at all blush)

glitterjo Mon 02-Aug-10 14:36:02

I worked with an Elvis, a Jesus and a Princess all at a very well known London visitor attraction.

sparklyjules - also have friends of friends in London with a kid called Tuppence, she must be about 2 and a half now. Wonder if its the same one?

superpenguin Mon 02-Aug-10 14:41:50

I don't know if it's the same for naming babies but there are a very few legal restrictions on what you are allowed to call yourself if you change your name by deed poll. I think the same rules apply to naming babies.

You are NOT allowed a name that:
- does not include at least one forename and one surname;
- is impossible to pronounce; (nb the rules do say impossible, not just difficult! so you can't call someone gdsjfgskdjgfntwgbpft for example!)
- includes numbers or symbols;
- includes punctuation marks - although you can have a hyphen to link forenames or surnames (for example, if you want a double-barrelled surname) and an apostrophe in the case of surnames like O'Brien;
- we consider vulgar, offensive, blasphemous or unsuitable;
- may result in others believing you have a conferred or inherited honour, title, rank or academic award, for example, a change of first name to Sir, Lord, Laird, Lady, Prince, Princess, Viscount, Baron, Baroness, General, Captain, Professor or Doctor etc.

Other than that people can choose whatever they want!

8oreighty Mon 02-Aug-10 14:57:45


Mercedes519 Mon 02-Aug-10 15:06:44

Not a bad name but the spelling shock


Yep Reilly/Riley spelt with two G's. Poor kid is going to have to spend the rest of his life spelling his name to people.

feeimcgee Mon 02-Aug-10 15:38:04

Twins at Silverburn shopping centre near Glasgow the other day called Adam and Eve. Brothers used to live near me called Jesse and James.

globex Mon 02-Aug-10 15:43:47


For real.

Lovecat Mon 02-Aug-10 16:22:46

I went to school with twins who were born on Christmas Day - Mary and Josephine. Poor Josephine...

Backinthebox Mon 02-Aug-10 16:46:33

whimsicalname It transpired during the Athens Olympics that the name Pippa (we had an equestrienne at those Games called Pippa) was actually a very rude word for a part of the female anatomy in Greek. Hence she was referred to as Philippa the whole Games.

porcamiseria Mon 02-Aug-10 17:26:30

siblings called Freddy and Rosie

FellatioNelson Mon 02-Aug-10 18:12:01

What on earth is wrong with Freddie and Rosie?confused

gorionine Mon 02-Aug-10 18:42:50

Nothing wrong with the names per se but I think it is the combination of them that bothers FellatioNelson because of Rosemary and Fred West maybe? Not sure but this is the first thing that jumped in my mind when reading those two names together.

preghead Mon 02-Aug-10 19:19:38

I know it is unfair as he is German but I work with someone called Sasha Bender. There is also a Turkish millionaire called Mustafa Koç.

Cheap shots I know but ....

CreepyFunbags Mon 02-Aug-10 19:24:29

I used to work with a Norton, I think it is a perfectly nice name! Is it awful?

Druzhok Mon 02-Aug-10 19:44:55

Only in an anti-viral way.

Twin boys in an outclinic: Bodie and Doyle.

magicOC Mon 02-Aug-10 21:11:05

Polycarp. Belive it or not was male

I kid you not.

Was in the 1800 tho as my friend came across him when reshearching her family tree in Kew (I think).

Says if she ever has a little boy she won't be tempted to put her poor child thru the misery.

zozzle Mon 02-Aug-10 21:13:44

Ok not strictly a recent baby name as it was a lady on the checkout in supermarket -

Terry-Anne (or may have been Terri-Anne)

chocolatefroggie - I know Psyche Postlethwaite's mother (she worked in the same company for a brief time) and her full name was Psyche Dion Postlethwaite

RuByMaMa Mon 02-Aug-10 21:40:42

Know a friend who teaches in a school where there is a brother and sister whose surname is McLatchie and his name is Armani and her name is Versace(say it out loud - Versace McLatchie!). Also met someone once who was called Marshall Sheriff - WTF!?

FellatioNelson Mon 02-Aug-10 21:45:48

I know a little boy called Devon Morgan-Oxford. I'm not sure whether it's a vintage car, or a geographical location.confused

GirlofCadiz Mon 02-Aug-10 22:14:45


Hispanic women I cared for in the US wanted to name her baby this after she heard the doctors and nurses saying the word during delivery. She didn't speak english so well and thought it sounded beautiful.

strandedatsea Mon 02-Aug-10 22:47:48

When we were registering dd1, the registar told us they had gone to court to prevent a couple naming their new baby...Savethewhales.

chubley Mon 02-Aug-10 22:51:57

Not children's names now but university students - Innocent as a first name, also Euclid (a man). And a grown woman, studying for a PhD - middle name Baby, surname Pratt! Might find some more tomorrow!

scottishmummy Mon 02-Aug-10 23:03:49

im saying versace mclatchie in ma best chewin the fat voice.oh dear god

chasingrainbows Mon 02-Aug-10 23:15:28

ah...i recall a scottish newspaper thingy bout a glasgow christening.....and in the name and so forth i baptise thee.....(minister forgets at this bit) so looks to the parents
"s pinned oan ah" whispers the dad and so the child was called "spindona" and a bit of paper with then name "jane" was pinned on her :-)

scottishmummy Mon 02-Aug-10 23:21:31

been a fair few Scottish howlers on this thread

can i add

Gran: whits the weans name,hen
Mum: Tea
Gran: Whit
Mum: T-E-A Aye its said Tia

petisa Mon 02-Aug-10 23:49:53

Julio Cesar and Jesus are v normal Spanish names.

lowrib Tue 03-Aug-10 00:16:43

You do realise that this is a public forum?

I'm sure you're not doing it maliciously but it's really mean to post a child's full name -
if the child ever googles their own name they'll find a load of strangers slagging them off. Nice hmm sad

lowrib Tue 03-Aug-10 00:24:49

A load of adult strangers even. How would that make you feel as a child? Pretty shit I imagine.

I'm not talking about first names, but posting children's surnames turns it into a personal attack IMO.

HavingAMaybe Tue 03-Aug-10 07:29:30

A teacher friend taught a Tequila (na-na na na na-na na naaa, Tequila!)

and I know of a Titziano ('Tits' for short?...wheee!)

FellatioNelson Tue 03-Aug-10 07:38:38

Actually lowrib you are absolutley right,and I was just thinking it was a stupid mistake before I even saw your post. I'll ask for it to be deleted.

porcamiseria Tue 03-Aug-10 10:38:43


Fred and Rose West innit!!!

FellatioNelson Tue 03-Aug-10 10:57:59

Ah, yes. Thank you.

Buzzin Tue 03-Aug-10 11:22:52

Duane Pipe

RachelParker Tue 03-Aug-10 12:20:28

I went to school with a girl named Autumn Forecast

lowrib Tue 03-Aug-10 12:49:07

Good on you FellatioNelson smile

I didn’t think you were being deliberately nasty. Mumsnet feels so much like idle chat a lot of the time, it’s really easy forget that it’s traceable by the people you’re actually talking about! I’ve fallen foul of this myself before. Thank goodness for deletions!

thefirstmrsDeVere Tue 03-Aug-10 13:07:23

Fred and Rose West called one of their poor children Mae.

So they had a sense of humour after all hmm

lucky1979 Tue 03-Aug-10 13:29:09

I've come across a Ruby Sequin (Surname) and a Baby Prisca (Surname)

I think the mothers were confused on the deliver ward and thought they were having My Little Ponies not babies.

daisystone Tue 03-Aug-10 14:41:12

I went to primary school with a Trumpton and he had two sisters Credence and Rain.

I also know a little Pele. Have also heard a mother call out "Romeo, Cesar!" she had a full on Essex accent.

And I was thinking about this last night and remember my Aunt telling me how she was friends with a woman called Foale. Foale!

Lucifera Tue 03-Aug-10 14:43:52

Innocent and Polycarp are both saints' names - IIRC more than one Pope Innocent. Although that doesn't make them great choices for children's names now. Zozzle, I wonder if Terri-Ann was a veggie? ...

Brother and sister called ....

Basil and Fennel!

But these were also their initials! So Basil was Basil Adam Simon Ian LXXXX and Fennel was Fennel Elizabeth Nancy Nora LXXXX (for example - I don't actually know what the middle names were)!

5StoneDown Tue 03-Aug-10 15:00:14

Saw a woman called Fathom on baby beauty queens (BBC3) last night. Never heard that as a name before.

dixiechick1975 Tue 03-Aug-10 15:19:10

I was watching a discovery home and health US baby programme (one of my guilty pleasures).

The lady giving birth was having twins and had only had twins 11 months before.

She called the first one Deja and second one some version of vue i.e deja vue.

Problem was in the space of the 30 min episode she had to explain their names several times and why and also explain what deja vue meant!

I bet it got weary really quickly for her!

guybrushthreepwood Tue 03-Aug-10 15:23:12

Can top the Asti Martin one- little girl called AstON Martin because her dad liked the cars! confused

guybrushthreepwood Tue 03-Aug-10 16:46:14

someone mentioned a name like this it's an urban legend

GirlofCadiz Tue 03-Aug-10 19:06:37

Not all are urban legends. Patients really do try this stuff on.

I hate it when people don't spell names properly - Jaxon being my most hated at the monet - Jackson is a surname in my mind and not a christian name and if you insist on using it as a christian name don;t spell it with an x because 90% of people will think it a wanky thing to do.

FellatioNelson Tue 03-Aug-10 21:12:34

I don't mind the surname/christian name thing, (after all an established name is an established name, and over time they are used in different ways) but I really object to ridiculous bizarre spellings in the name of 'originality'.hmm Just silliness.

Noblet Wed 04-Aug-10 01:34:02

Went to school with a Ricky Rich. biscuit

I also know someone who worked with a Shirley Shatwell. The alliteration is just insult-to-injury.

lucky1979 Wed 04-Aug-10 08:23:56

Noblet - there was a man in Henry VIII court called Richard Rich, so at least Ricky Rich had a name with tradition behind it!

becaroo Wed 04-Aug-10 14:04:20

I went to school with someone called Richard Boe - of course we called him Dicky Boe smile

I also knew of a Felicity Thistletwaite smile

Jaybird37 Wed 04-Aug-10 14:11:10

I went to school with a girl called Fanny Hyman blush

Brightonton Wed 04-Aug-10 16:54:24

Olifin - you missed out Django from your family list smile. That isn't so odd compared with his siblings!

I have also come across a Truely Scrumptious, a Zed and Zeb (brothers), two Dollys (Delores - good, Dolly - daft), and a Leaf (boy).

Mind you, I do get kind of bored with Isabelle, Ella and Sophie. The odd Trinity-Lee spices it up doesn't it? smile

rusmum Wed 04-Aug-10 17:23:09

ex dp called his little girl calliope Danger........

sadtobewritingthis Wed 04-Aug-10 21:48:47

Did jury service with an Ann Summers.
Someone sniggered every time she got called...

Marjee Fri 06-Aug-10 12:08:54

I know a girl called Cambridge and a boy called Lucas Annikin. I also know of a little boy called Soulblade!

Livvyluc Fri 06-Aug-10 20:13:05

Melody Angel was a real name I heard. Also Pepsi-Leigh.

Amberc Fri 06-Aug-10 21:14:41

I was at an Arsenal game and I heard a mum call for her son and he ran up to her - his name? Arsenal hmm

willsywoo Sun 15-Aug-10 00:09:15

My dd has a collegue at work who is also on her fb called Carey Hunt

Ibizadreams Sun 15-Aug-10 10:32:10

There was a child on Jeremy Kyle the other day referred to as Swayze.

QOD Sun 15-Aug-10 11:22:21

I know a Truely (had brothers with names like Paul and Dave which is even funnier)
Admire, Minga and Rejoice (all from the Phillipines)

Cortina Sun 15-Aug-10 11:24:35

I know of a Dimple. It suits her.

magichomes Sun 15-Aug-10 17:24:38

This thread is making me laugh and laugh.

My father is a GP and regularly comes across some brilliant ones. He has patients called Django and Lucan (as in Lord), and twins born on the 8th August 2008 called Octavian and Augusta. He also has a Tequila on his books and several called Shiraz (though to be fair, this is a foreign name).

My Dad is not one of the world's great diplomats. A woman called Ria in her late 20s came in one day, having recently moved back to the area. My dad realised he'd known her since she was a baby. "Good God," he says, "I remember you, when you were a little girl we used to call you Dia-ria because you always had the runs."

magichomes Sun 15-Aug-10 17:44:12

I should have said the reason why the twins are funny is that their nicknames are Octo and Gus. Still 8, though, you understand confused

seaturtle Sun 15-Aug-10 17:47:11

QOD - You should hear some more Filipino names (I'm Filipino). Filipino baby naming is insane. I've met a Zorro, General, a family named after Greek gods and goddesses. There's the popular Jejomar, a name made from the combination of Jesus, Mary and Joseeph. Also Luzviminda, from the combination of the names of the main islands- Luzon, Visayas, Mindanao.

QOD Sun 15-Aug-10 21:46:49

Some babies have been born recently and their names are adorable but escape me right now!!

A1980 Sat 21-Aug-10 23:36:39

My friend named her two girls Maybe Sunshine and Nearly Moon....!

It sounds ridiculous when you hear her calling them in from play outside. You think Maybe and Nearly what?!

tb Tue 24-Aug-10 13:03:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spinspinsugar Tue 24-Aug-10 13:10:36

Just can't get past Moon Unit. Don't know if I hate it or love it, has grown on me over the years!!!

kailie Tue 24-Aug-10 14:17:05

midwife told me that she had just come from the Hoare family household, where she had to check on newborn Nicholas...

we peed ourselves laughing at poor unfortunate Nicholas Hoare. What were his parents thinking?

poppybear Tue 24-Aug-10 14:46:30

I know a man who named his child Steel (at least he didn't spell it steal).

tb Tue 24-Aug-10 20:11:42

TSB computer services used to have an assistant in personnel (as it was then called) who went by the name of Richard Head - it was never abbreviated.

I also knew a church minister's son called James Riddall, but given his father's occupation I suppose he can be forgiven.

Nicholas Hoare - brilliant! Hormonal, new-baby tiredness maybe?

In NZ that would be said similar to Hwah reh so here Nicholas Hoare would be perfectly acceptable

cmutter Wed 25-Aug-10 12:20:31

I know of a family who have names such as Oak, Eden, Merlin, Cosmo, Murdo and Rowan. The had the nerve to laugh at me for being 'boring' and naming my son James William. Why can't we just give our children names rather than nouns?

quirkydragon Wed 26-Jan-11 14:11:39

Re John Thomas - apparently it was a common nickname for a manservant in the 18th century. It then started being used as a nickname for the penis, because...
John Thomas 'always stands in the presence of a lady!'
Always makes me laugh when I think of that!

rachel1970 Wed 26-Jan-11 14:44:19

"Why can't we just give our children names rather than nouns?"

A lot of names happen to be nouns as well - Will, Miles, Daisy, Willow, Rowan, Ivy, or they tend to be places - Florence, Brooklyn etc. Is that really that bad?

zippy30 Wed 26-Jan-11 16:13:59

I know someone called Brian O'Brien (poor fella). What were his parents thinking??!!

Underachieving Wed 26-Jan-11 16:56:06

I do know someone whose initials are F.I.R.S.T [surname].

He has 4 younger brothers.

Thier initials are S.E.C.O.N.D. [surname], T.H.I.R.D. [surname], F.O.U.R.T.H. [surname] and F.I.F.T.H. [surname].

I'm really not making this up.

jellybellybiz Wed 26-Jan-11 21:43:23

Growing up in the sticks, my neighbour was called Mike Hunt (apologies if you find that a bit rude, hope you didn't say it out loud in a public place!) - I'm not sure his parents ever realised what they had done!

But more recent additions to the village are children called Flash Gordon and Billy Willie.

Oh how I wish I was joking!

lovemybabyboy Wed 26-Jan-11 23:05:17

I have met twin girls Destiny and Eternity! hmm confused shock grin

lololizzy Sat 29-Jan-11 00:06:37

S.X. (pronounced Essex. but got a bollocking if not written as S.X. . Was in my mum's playgroup)
Brother was K.C.

eandemum Sun 30-Jan-11 12:44:59

How abou triplet boys I know of
and Del
(All fine individually!)

Now we know where they were conceived!!

hokeycakey Mon 31-Jan-11 15:10:07

I got chatting to someone in a cafe the other day, her little girl was called shantasia

lololizzy Mon 31-Jan-11 17:14:28

Shantasia sounds like a loo freshener

dubaipieeye Tue 01-Feb-11 17:44:27

I love Filipino names - have come across some fun ones here in Dubai. A friend has a Filipino housemaid call BABY (which has to be written in CAPS for some reason). She is about 45, though I assume she was once a BABY.

Sounds awfully like he is up to no good with maid when he calls home and says "What's for dinner, BABY?".

mumofeach Tue 01-Feb-11 20:04:00

Anything with a middle name "Boo"...no idea why a parent would do that to a child!!

LittleDonkin Wed 02-Feb-11 18:07:50

I worked with a woman called Marjorie Simpson!

TransatlanticCityGirl Wed 02-Feb-11 22:44:59

In Germany they have a rule that you cannot name your child something unusual.. You simply cannot register a birth with an unapproved name.

Isn't it sad when everyone feels they need to conform? You'd think they were all Nazis or something!

My little sister named her third child Star and she has been ridiculed for it ever since. Although I was initially one of those nay Sayers I'm now extremely proud of my baby sister for being true to herself and not succumbing to the intolerance of the general population!

If only we were all like my sister this world would be a much happier place.

lololizzy Wed 02-Feb-11 23:30:45

Same with Italy..my english friend has spent all her adult life there. Had her three boys there and had to check the names she chose were approved..not all were so she had to choose from the allowed list
Star is a beautiful name (though i was a huge Lost Boys fan!) so that was always on my list smile

TakeItOnTheChins Wed 02-Feb-11 23:46:52

Sorry, but there's a clear difference between "Pleasingly unusual" and "Just fucking stupid" and if your child's name falls into the latter category, then you're a twat, pure and simple.

tammy234 Thu 03-Feb-11 09:27:50

No, in Germany there is no 'official list' of allowed names. There are just certain (common sense) requirements that a name has to fulfill:
At least one of these has to be gender specific, while others may be neutral. But in Germany androgynous names are rare.
The fundamental rule is that male names cannot be used for females and otherwise.

Abbreviated names are not used officially. So even if Frederick is known among friends as Fred, he will still sign official documents with his full name Frederick.

There are certain restrictive naming regulations in Germany. First of all, a name must be known as a human name. It means that pet names, common nouns, place-names and newly invented names are not allowed. Secondly, it must not be offensive and humiliating so that it does not inflict problems on the bearer in the future. In some cases an unusual name may be allowed provided that the Rufname is a common name.

The Standesbeamter (this is the German word for registrar) has the right to review name choices. A Standesbeamter can bar parents from giving a name if he feels it is unacceptable. For unusual names he might ask for precedent cases. Foreign embassies often have to confirm that this or that name is acceptable. They do that at the instance of immigrants coming from the countries those embassies represent. Parents can appeal the Standesbeamter's decision in court. Such lawsuits, as well as funny names that parents sometimes bestow on their children, are often ridiculed by journalists in the newspapers.

Here are some examples of first names that have been rejected: Christus, Jesus (has been allowed with Spanish surnames), Princess, Prince, Lord, Huckleberry, Cheyenne, Berlin, Stone, Möwe (seagull), Tiger, Moon Unit, AJ, Amsterdam, B'Elanna, Filou, Gift (poison), Frühling (spring - the season), Baby, Golddust, Nightingale, Shiatsu, Tsunami, Villa, Cézanne, Hoffmann, McCoy, Nilsson, Nilson, O'Neill, Picasso, Svensson, Trenk, Wiesengrund. The maximum number of first names is five. Two of them can be hyphenated, however the parts of such names cannot be used separately.

Girl at my school was called Rhoda. No prob you think - but her surname was Camel! FFS.

Another girl was called Lily Gardener which wasn't too bad I guess!

tigermummy35 Thu 03-Feb-11 17:34:15

I saw a little boy called Christiano the other day, whilst that might be ok for a portugese footballer, calling it across a room in a heavy brummy accent made it sound a tad chavvy!

tigermummy35 Thu 03-Feb-11 17:35:13

Oh and Bop, has to be THE worst name ever. A baby born under the Hale-Bop comet was saddled with that gem!

frida75 Thu 03-Feb-11 21:24:04

I'm just looking on here for ideas...! grin

mathanxiety Sat 05-Feb-11 02:34:57

I love Loveday Primrose Celestine. And Psyche and Ajax.

I know two women from Puerto Rico who are named Milady, apparently a popular name there.

comixminx Sat 05-Feb-11 11:17:01

Blimey, a Brazilian person having a baby in Germany would be pretty trammelled & constrained! As in the Philippines, Brazilians are pretty inventive when it comes to names. There's a great site that gives unusual / silly Brazilian names but not much point in linking to it here as it loses far too much if you can't read Portuguese! But "ordinary" first names in Brazil inlude ones like Nelson, Washington, Ayrton... Socrates was the footballer's real name I think, his nickname was Doctor because he was wise. Pele was a nickname but there must be plenty of boys called that by now I suppose, not that I've met any.

I know a lady with 6 kids! 5 girls and 1 boy! The girls are Madison, Mia, Mackenzie, Mercedes and Macey, and the boy is Mickey! To make things worse, the mother is expecting twins now! They are to be called Milo and Mayla! And to top it off, there surname begins with an M! I'm not kidding!

pinkmagic1 Sun 06-Feb-11 09:07:39

Just heard that someone I used to go to school with has had a DD called 'Twilight!.

mathanxiety Sun 06-Feb-11 21:52:56

Twilight is just as bad as Twyla, a name I heard in the US.

DELHI Tue 08-Feb-11 15:48:43

My friend knows a little boy called Wurzel - I feel sorry for him. He has several siblings, all with lovely, classic, normal names

highlystrung Wed 09-Feb-11 12:08:01

Friend's sister taught a little boy whose christian name was Alanshearer (yes all one word!). Enough said.

ednurse Wed 09-Feb-11 12:10:27

Summer...surname Beach. No lie. With a sister called Ocean and a brother called Sunny.

around five years ago i popped into the garage on the way home in North Glasgow. A lady in the shop called to her daughter, a toddler,

'clitoris! come here now! where are you?!'

honestly, honest!

Underachieving Wed 09-Feb-11 23:38:03


Pronounced as it looks too (zee-bald-o), so nothing saved there.

Poor little boy. sad It's a form of cruely.

Atomant Thu 10-Feb-11 02:34:09

Haven't read the whole thread but know someone with a son called Atom.

Personally I dislike it very much (despite my username!) Although couldve shortened to Tom later in life but the parents try very hard to be 'different' and having a child with an unconvential name is just one way they express their 'difference'...seems to make them happy...

poshsinglemum Thu 10-Feb-11 02:54:51

I taught a girl called Saxon. Luckily she was very beautiful and cool and she got away with it. I think it's rather cool now.

elvisgirl Thu 10-Feb-11 04:33:36

Recently met a Jetsun, which could be sort of funky like Rocket or something except it is also the name of an 80s-style package holiday operator. Also sounds like the name of a cheap fake tan product!

KenDoddsDadsDog Thu 10-Feb-11 07:05:34

There is a Bo Peep at the school where my best friend works. Not sure if she's Bo or Beau.

Poppyella Fri 11-Feb-11 22:39:13

There was a Cinderella born where I work. It made the local papers!

SugarSkyHigh Fri 11-Feb-11 22:51:41

I hate to share this, but my sister wants to call her newborn Knight-Macaroon confused hmm

missmehalia Fri 11-Feb-11 23:11:39

Tenerife (girl)

Serenity Dove (girl) (she whispered to me in hushed/resigned tones that 'her mother was a hippy')

bluedomino Sat 12-Feb-11 00:07:56

Avis Mavis Davis

JoInScotland Sat 12-Feb-11 00:19:17

My band teacher's name was Richard Long. He made us call him Dick. Not easy to do with a straight face at age 15.

Hatterbox Sat 12-Feb-11 13:38:48

I really wish we had naming restrictions here in the UK, I wouldn't want them to be too tight, but enough to stop people bestowing names on their children that would be better suited to porn stars. I know of someone who has named their daughter Princess Honey Angel. I mean COME ON.

The only restriction in the UK is that a registrar can refuse to register a name that is offensive or vulgar I do recall a story a few years back, about a family who wanted to use the middle name Hitler, and this was deemed offensive and they were not allowed to register it.

missmehalia Sat 12-Feb-11 18:25:07

Tertius (boy)

CheerfulYank Sat 12-Feb-11 18:36:24

The DCs at our Parent Circle are:

Sam (DS)

Lydia (pretty, IMO)

I mean, ew. Just ew on the majority of those names.

I know an Ocean
a family of Raven, Skyla and Ralph!!!!!

and a Summer Hayes

but I love Tallulah- Belle

Spenguin Sun 13-Feb-11 14:20:22

I knew loads of Mungos at university - they were inbred country type. University was also in Scotland...regional thing?

Knew a CoralSage...

Spenguin Sun 13-Feb-11 14:21:15

Also knew of a Tiphanie

'My little sister named her third child Star and she has been ridiculed for it ever since. Although I was initially one of those nay Sayers I'm now extremely proud of my baby sister for being true to herself and not succumbing to the intolerance of the general population!

If only we were all like my sister this world would be a much happier place.'

Really, you think? I wonder if little Star will share the same sentiments after 12 years at school being called 'Twinkle'. I think people need to remember that naming their child is not about them but about the child. If people want to be true to themselves then maybe they should change their own name to Star or Spatula or something.

KLou111 Sun 13-Feb-11 15:49:52

My mum retired as a MW a couple of years ago, and she used to come home with some corkers!!! 2 sisters that stick in my mind are Cagney and Lacey, which I think are quite nice on their own, but sisters? PLEEEEEEASE!!!

Oh and I know of a Moon too!

Not quite the same but I had an uncle who his whole life was called Squeak - so much so that nieces and nephews thought it was his real name! And then there is Aunty Twink .....

When i found out i was pregnant my boyfriend decided if it was a boy we would call him Jack. I like that name until you realise his full name would be Jack Jackson!

vickibee Thu 24-Mar-11 14:37:43

What about slebs - they have ridiculus names. Peaches Geldof, Romeo Beckham, Apple Paltrow? It is no wonder normal folk try and copy

There are worse NNs than Twinkle! And there's always deed poll.

How about a historical version of this thread?

BluddyMoFo Thu 24-Mar-11 15:47:35

The bird who ran my local breastfeeding group had a daughter called Epiphany....which now sounds rather tame after reading this.

vickibee Fri 25-Mar-11 09:49:21

I know a child called Yorick (SP) is that from Shakespeare?

Yes, Yorick's in Hamlet (or at least his skull is).

OhHelpOhNo Fri 25-Mar-11 11:40:39

I know of a madeleine dyck, which is a bit shock when you shorten it to mad, poor girl sad

devoncreamtea Fri 25-Mar-11 12:51:23


OTheHugeManatee Fri 25-Mar-11 13:08:18

I know a vair posh 70something-year-old woman called Nike. She was presumably named after the Greek goddess of victory rather than the sportswear conglomerate.

Also wasn't Pixie Geldof originally named Fifi Trixibelle Geldof?

catinhell Fri 25-Mar-11 13:23:12

i knew a boy called whizzbang back in the 70s. i'm pretty sure it wasnt a nick name...

my granny went to school with a roland butter!

OTheHugeManatee Fri 25-Mar-11 13:27:09

Transatlantic The approved names list in Germany doesn't stop some oddities. When I was a kid there I knew a brother and sister called Giselher and Swanhilde, which is a bit like calling your children Beowulf and Boadicea. Not unforgivable, but just a little bit bear

A lady in my road has a boy called Harry, which is lovely and nice and normal (i have one lol), but she has just had a baby girl, and has called it Tinkerbell.

My friend asked her if she was going to shorten it to Belle, and she said no, Tinker.

rirismummy Fri 25-Mar-11 14:09:00

After many years in childcare, some of the children I've looked after have included
Rogan (1st name) Josh (middle name)

rirismummy Fri 25-Mar-11 14:14:32

I quite like Ocean though!!

Raahh Fri 25-Mar-11 14:14:47

OTheHugeManatee- Fifi Trixibelle is the older sister of Pixie, the middle sister (who was named by Fifi, apparently), is Peaches. Barking, those Geldofs!

(although Fifi isn't known as that, and lives quite a low key life, really)

Lord only knows how (or why!) I know this!!grin

helendigestives Fri 25-Mar-11 20:33:18

Rogan Josh? Haha!

diggory has got to be my least favourite.

milliemae Fri 25-Mar-11 21:42:23

DH was once in the Army. Served with a guy with 1st name of Richard. Trouble was, last name was HEAD. Promise! www.mumsnet.com/te/5.gif

A1980 Fri 25-Mar-11 23:37:53


I really like Diggory!

Nightstar Fri 25-Mar-11 23:43:17

Please please add more! I am pissing myself over here!

HappyWifeandMum Tue 29-Mar-11 20:09:15

When we had our baby last year, the Name Registrar and all the nurses were going on about a baby that had just been named Iceteababyjesus. Then there was Empress. Fragile... (pronounced Fra-GEE-lay) Oh, and let us not forget the all time stupid-prize winner...


Nevaeh. confused

BikeRunSki Tue 29-Mar-11 20:20:40

I am sure I overheard a parent call her pre-school age daughter Polaris once. I wondered if there was a sibling called Trident.

BikeRunSki Tue 29-Mar-11 20:21:57

I had a music teacher at school called Richard William Fallas.
Work out the nn. And surname!

zingally Thu 31-Mar-11 19:22:20

I also used to work with a David Davies...

I went to school with Wayne Carr. Seriously.

A woman whose blog I follow named her youngest 2 children Yindi and Banjo.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat Thu 31-Mar-11 22:00:51

Cheerful: the boys in your group are called Carson Bryson Peyton Caden Braydon and Zayden? Where the fuck do you live? grin

CaveMum Thu 31-Mar-11 22:22:12

I'm still surprised that no one pulled Brad and Ange to one side when they named their daughter. Have they never heard of spoonerisms?!

Shiloh Pitt ffs!


Underachieving Thu 31-Mar-11 22:24:07

PMSL CaveMum I never thought of that before!

tiptoptally Thu 31-Mar-11 23:28:47

Have taught kids called Tequila, Aqua and Babe.....surely these are in the running for worst name ever!!

lucilastic Fri 01-Apr-11 00:39:39

I know twin boys aged 10 called Ronnie and Reggie. Their elder sister is called Charlie.
They are also horrible little shits.

dan1981 Fri 01-Apr-11 10:33:08

Lol at cavemum.... apparently thats why they gave her the double barrelled surname of jolie-pitt wink

still gets picked up on though.....

Technoprisoners Fri 01-Apr-11 10:39:55

Tiny. For a girl.

Matters of taste aside, why minimalise a girl like this and saddle her with a name which, as a grown woman, will make it so hard for her to be taken seriously.

And, I used to teach a Kay Bull.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Sat 02-Apr-11 00:58:43

lucilastic I'm flabbergasted. Why would anyone do that?

Hey :-P Josephine's not bad, it's my name and I like it. Shortens to Jo/Josie/Jo-jo and Sephi (pron. Seffy)

MollyMurphy Tue 12-Apr-11 04:55:17

I know a Sudenese kid named Ding Dong - I kid you not. The name didn't translate well to his new English community, poor thing. wine

monkeysmum79 Tue 12-Apr-11 11:04:34

Nigel..... yuk!

MamaLaMoo Tue 12-Apr-11 13:08:48

Opium Farmer, girl I taught some years ago. Truly awful child, was permanently excluded I think.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass Tue 12-Apr-11 15:39:35

I know two sets of brothers called - Jayden & Leighton and Brayden & Colton hmm

Bubbaluv Wed 13-Apr-11 06:37:41

XYZ - seriously. Poor little mite!

Bubbaluv Wed 13-Apr-11 06:40:21

Oh and Fanny Pong (in HK). She was adult though.

52Girls Wed 13-Apr-11 06:53:26


Middle names: The Barbarian.

Heard of this one a few yrs ago.

MarieFromStMoritz Wed 13-Apr-11 07:47:46

Fanny Pong grin

Actually, I love the name Fanny. It's a pity it has been adopted as a name for women's genitals.

womma Wed 13-Apr-11 09:15:47

Dante and Paris, two really little boys with ridiculous hair extensions and gold jewellery in the building society on the high street

mippy Thu 14-Apr-11 16:46:18


Hispanic women I cared for in the US wanted to name her baby this after she heard the doctors and nurses saying the word during delivery. She didn't speak english so well and thought it sounded beautiful."

Isn't 'vagina' in Spanish, well...'vagina'?

satsumaish Thu 14-Apr-11 20:11:27


FSB Sat 16-Apr-11 22:22:47

I personally know siblings called Bo and Red and a boy called Boy (who's father was a novelist), both firmly middle class and on the chav-tastic front I've also heard 2nd hand about a CalvinKlein (maybe it's the same one ChateauRouge if he lives in Birmingham, and I also know a Stpehen Stephens... Poor sod!! grin

FSB Sat 16-Apr-11 22:38:28

... I also know adult siblings called Shamina, Shamika, Shamila and Shane!!!

cupnoodle Sat 16-Apr-11 22:52:58

Message withdrawn

Hatterbox Sat 16-Apr-11 23:14:26

Isn't the 'vagina' one an urban legend, at least it is according to Snopes?


WhatSheSaid Sat 16-Apr-11 23:15:42


I shit you not. Both at my dd's pre-school.

mickeylou Sun 17-Apr-11 08:10:04


As in Summer but spelled in a more chav friendly manner!

missmelo Mon 18-Apr-11 00:51:03

Beyoncé and her twin sister Shakira, it was hard to keep a straight face when their gran told me their names.

WMDinthekitchen Mon 18-Apr-11 00:53:38

A social worker friend had to persuade a pg woman not to name her baby Chlamydia. I kid you not - she thought it sounded really pretty...

OnEdge Mon 18-Apr-11 00:55:46

Rogan Joshua

washedup Mon 18-Apr-11 11:20:03

I recently met a little boy called Boden. The odd thing was his Mum was very stylishly dressed, in quite a unique way. She looked like the last person who would ever shop there. Maybe she didn't know???

MamaLazarou Mon 18-Apr-11 11:44:54

I do not believe the Meconium one - that must be made up.

mopsyflopsy Mon 18-Apr-11 12:40:51

I bet Boden was really a Beauden.

(Boden means ground in German - much worse than the mail order connection imo)

PineCones Thu 05-Jan-12 20:54:51

Sisters called Sweety and Softy! I heard Softy changed her name later. Can't blame her.

ScaredyDog Fri 06-Jan-12 22:21:34


Just reading this thread made me look up Tyger Drew Honey (Jake from Outnumbered) on Wikipedia to see if it was his given name....

His given name is actually Lindzi James Tyger Drew-Honey

And his DF is the porn actor, Ben Dover. confused

grubbalo Sat 07-Jan-12 00:56:34

Yup, Meconium and Chlamydia are both urban myths, all detailed in the snopes article Hatterbox has quoted below. Always friends or friends of friends who " know" the mother..

boobooboob Sat 07-Jan-12 01:34:44

An acquaintance of my daughter has called her little girl Henlie-Paige (just checked - spelled exactly like that) because it's 'classy'. Apparently.

Selks Sat 07-Jan-12 01:55:11

I know a child called Filey. As in the town on the east coast...

startail Sat 07-Jan-12 02:03:57

I have a Tinkerbell!

It's her pet name for home use onlygrin

LineRunner Sat 07-Jan-12 02:18:26

If we're going into pet names for home use, I have, imaginatively, got a Baby-Girl and Baby-Boy.

I actually wanted to call them Gertrude and Edmund.

Their real names are somewhere in between.

SubordinateClaws Sat 07-Jan-12 02:53:59

The "Chlamydia" myth infuriates me! Will people stop peddling it? Please?

Nandocushion Sat 07-Jan-12 04:26:55

Sister and brother, named GiGi and Quincy.

I GET that not all names are to everyone's taste. DD and DS's names are not everyone's cup of tea either. It's just that some names - like the above, and some others I won't mention for MN reasons - are names that scream "I don't care if my children are going to struggle through every single social situation they have to deal with in life because I gave them these names! I didn't get enough attention as a child, and I am damn well going to get it NOW!". With no thought whatsoever about how the child might feel as an adult, wanting respect in their chosen job/profession/whatever and a normal life, with their silly, childish, look-at-meeeeee name.

In both cases of Really Bad Naming I know of, it's been the mother to blame, but I'm sure fathers have lots to answer for as well.

yellowraincoat Sat 07-Jan-12 04:37:03

I think the name is Sparkel is sort of funky. Was is SPARKle or sparKEL?

yellowraincoat Sat 07-Jan-12 04:41:52

I also love Comfort. What a lovely name, makes me think of someone very calm and caring.

I was just reading a list of names that were rejected by the registry office the other day (on stuff). Among them were Mafia No Fear, Anal, Roman Numerals (as in 1 11 111) the mind boggles, luckily for these children these names were not monikers aways but the parents certainly tried to use them

LidlDonkey Sat 07-Jan-12 07:34:51

I've met a Truly Scrumptious and a Lollipop.

A friend has sons called Dean & Sean, which aren't funny but do look odd written down.

sashh Sat 07-Jan-12 08:37:01

Boniface - I kbow it's a saint but ............

Jaxx - saw that in the paper

In fact sometimes the best thing in the paper are the kids names.

insanityscratching Sat 07-Jan-12 09:38:20

Twins at my daughter's last school were called Mary and Joseph and there was a DJ which was how his mum spelt his name but the school insisted was spelt Deejay and I know of twins called Caroline and Carolyn oh and a Terri Anne and a Carrie-Ann.

usualsuspect Sat 07-Jan-12 09:42:47

Ethel,Edith Wilfred,Vera ,Arthur and all the old lady/man names

Awful , poor kids

QOD Sat 07-Jan-12 09:47:04

My neighbour is calling her twin boys Buster and Buddy

SkivingAgain Sat 07-Jan-12 10:03:51

Warren Organ

Sannebanana Sat 07-Jan-12 19:25:48

At my antenatal class there is one mum who already has 2 DDs and is expecting a DS.

DDs and Sarah and Jessica

DS will be Parker, apparently. She didn't understand why it was so funny. grin

Bluestocking Sat 07-Jan-12 19:34:41

I heard a woman shouting her head off at sons Marlon and Romeo the other day. And I know another family with a Kingsley and a Gulliver.

CupOfBrownJoy Sat 07-Jan-12 20:22:20

I've taught an Angel, who was anything but, and she had a sister called Jersey...

I just wanted to ask, as in potatoes? jumpers? cows? Whyyyy???

CupOfBrownJoy Sat 07-Jan-12 20:24:59

Oh I've also met an S.T

Just S.T, not short for anything... hmm

zipzap Sat 07-Jan-12 20:27:38

I know of a Candida which always seemed an unfortunate name.

StrandedBear Sat 07-Jan-12 21:00:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kellamity Sat 07-Jan-12 21:02:57


GloriaStitz Sat 07-Jan-12 21:03:13

a friend taught a girl called Waynetta Pye (a Greggs sausage roll perhaps)

Kayano Sat 07-Jan-12 23:16:01

I saw a woman on Supernanny today...

I thought she was called Michelle...
But it had the spelling 'Meshell'

I was hmm

justwantcheese Sun 08-Jan-12 11:24:34

mike hunt and dick deuce come into my shop,i kid you not.

PineCones Sun 08-Jan-12 11:24:46

What's wrong with Henlie-Paige? Sorry maybe I'm missing something?

BenderBendingRodriguez Sun 08-Jan-12 11:28:36

Henlie-Paige is just bizarre. Similarly, there was a child on Junior Bake-Off called Coco-Nina, which struck me as a completely odd pairing of two disparate names to make one really weird, needlessly hyphenated name.

TheFirstMrsGClooney Sun 08-Jan-12 11:58:03

Our local paper has featured a Rihanna Beyonce and a Rockland. Lucky kids.

grubbalo Sun 08-Jan-12 12:14:24

I have an Arthur, usual. Whilst it might not be to your taste, I don't really think he needs to be labelled a "poor" child. I dare say I wouldn't like the names you have given your children, but doubt they would need to be labelled "poor" children either.

I think there's a massive difference between names you don't like, and names that are "unfortunate", where parents haven't looked at the whole name etc (eg Michael Hunt etc)!

lockets Sun 08-Jan-12 12:19:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeWasting Sun 08-Jan-12 15:13:28

Arthur etc. aren't 'old man names' anymore.
Kevin, now that's an old man name. Wonder when that'll be back in fashion. grin