I have recently got a BFP. Have one DC and thought I definitely wanted another one but since I got the BFP I haven't felt positive at all, it just feels all wrong somehow.
I don't know what to do. Nobody knows about the BFP, haven't told DH yet (he would be happy but wouldn't/can't understand anything less than totally positive feelings), so I don't have anyone to share with. As soon as I tell him I will have to be 100% fantabulous about it all and he will no doubt tell lots of people quietly (ie behind my back). I just need some space/time to get things straight for myself first. I don't even know why I feel bad about things. All I know is that I am drawn to the thought of not going through with it. If I go ahead with the pg then I will always know the thought crossed my mind not to go through with it so I will feel terrible either way.
In the mornings it's all ok for a few seconds until I remember, then I feel worried/scared/nervous. Same as when I am occupied with something, I have a "break" from thinking about it and worrying about it all. If someone offered me the choice of being pg or not right now I would choose not. I just don't know if that means I can/should/could act upon it. Plus DH and I have had quite a few niggles recently and we are worried about money.
I don't know what I am asking, I just wanted to share with someone. Thanks for reading.
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3 replies
BigBlueEyes · 02/12/2009 20:12
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