Hope desperately needed after MMC and TFMR

[Tess86]

I really hope I've posted this in the right place as the last thing I want to do is upset anyone.

I had a mmc in June and now I'm having a tfmr for a rare chromosome deletion. I'm beyond heartbroken. My DH and I went to the scan just praying for a heartbeat. I'm feeling really hopeless at the moment. I found it difficult to cope last time but I got pregnant within two months and so was able to focus on that.

I guess I am just hoping that there are women out there who have been in a similar position and got their rainbow at the end of it. At the moment, I just feel like a complete failure. :(

[NeedMoreSleepOrSugar]

Oh sweetheart im so sorry for your losses. You are in no way a failure. It's so hard to go through though, so please try to be kind to yourself.

Fwiw, my 2yr old rainbow is currently sitting on the sofa reading (she should be napping!) I hope you have happier times coming soon

[Dozer]

So sorry.

Yes, of course, there are lots of us!

Take care of yourself and seek support online and in RL if you need it - I personally found counselling v helpful.

[KittyandTeal]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had the same but the other way round, a tfmr at 22 weeks for T18 and then a mmc at 14 weeks.

I am very lucky to already have dd1 before we lost dd2 and ds. I have decided to stop ttc. It has taken a huge toll on my mental health and I am recovering from ptsd at the moment.

However, I know a lot of women in the baby loss community who have been through similar and gone on the have their rainbow.

💐 Be kind to yourself. Sands and ARC are both brilliant charities to support you

[Tess86]

Thank you all for your kind words. The desire to have a child has been greater than anything I've felt before. The prospect of it not happening is terrifying. I know have to remain positive but I'm always the pessimist.

I'm really sorry to hear that you have suffered with ptsd, Kitty. I have enquired about a local miscarriage support group and am going to attend next month. X

[TheDisillusionedAnarchist]

I had 10 years of infertility, a miscarriage, a daughter with trisomy 18 (we chose to continue the pregnancy) who died in January aged three months and now I'm 36 weeks with baby 3 who so far looks absolutely fine. There is such a good chance you will get your baby.

I spent the early months of this pregnancy convinced I would miscarry, that this baby would have a rare anomaly, actually I'm still spending my time worrying about stillbirth despite a good scan this morning but really it is all looking positive. There are so many stories of multiple losses and then successful pregnancies. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

[KittyandTeal]

Wow, Disillusioned that's amazing news. I didn't know. Huge, huge congrats. I'm crying now

[Tess86]

Thank you for your message Dissillusioned. I'm so sorry that you went through that but it sounds like your going to meet your rainbow soon. X