Will someone talk to me about Anacephaly and trying again?

(11 Posts)
BitchPeas Wed 19-Mar-14 02:19:37

I had DS in 2007 Normal pregnancy all fine.

2012 I fell pregnant unexpectedly, was happy though as had been broody since having DS but relationship was never right. At 12 week scan I found out baby had anecephaly, I was absolutely devestated, had never even heard of it before, my heart broke. I chose to have a TFMR at 13 weeks. Afterwards I haemorrhaged and got an infection. Was rushed back into hospital 3 days after procedure. Spent 5 days on IV antibiotics. No problems physically since, emotionally it's been awful.

Myself and DP are going to start trying for a baby November time. I had my coil out one month ago to give my body a break. Still haven't got periods back. I've completly fallen apart, I'm so broody my body aches for another baby, 5 people very close to me are heavily pregnant right now and it's killing me. I'm jealous and bitter, but I hide it! I don't know how I'll be when they are born, I'm so embarrassed to feel like that. I'm terrified. sad

I've got 6 months + to get my head around trying again. But my emotions have gone crazy.

I vary between wanting to be pregnant right now!!!
Wanting to wait another year
And worrying that I am now infertile, the same thing will happen again, how will I cope, it's not fair etc etc.

Everyone around me has easy straight forwards pregnancys and conceptions. And I'm terrified. sad

Has anyone else dealt with this, or had a healthy pregnancy after anecephaly?

I feel so alone, I know no one in RL who's ever gone through anything like this. Even my mum tells me to get over it and it's in the past sad I a ball of anxiety at the moment. The infertility/miscarriage fear is eating away at me. sad

Sorry for the self pitying rant and sorry if this is in the wrong place.

BitchPeas Wed 19-Mar-14 10:30:18

Bump

schoolclosed Wed 19-Mar-14 10:34:42

I have no personal experience, but have you talked to ARC? www.arc-uk.org/ They might be able to help you think things through and to give you good information on the chances of problems with future pregnancies. I've heard very good things about them and one of my friends is involved.

Hugs.

BitchPeas Wed 19-Mar-14 10:44:38

Thanks school I've applied to be able to post on arc website but you need to have it approved so waiting for that.

This is just eating me up inside and I know it's not anorak way to feel so long afterwards.

schoolclosed Wed 19-Mar-14 16:01:17

Bumping for you.

LuckyAugust Wed 19-Mar-14 17:25:50

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. For different reasons I had a TMFR last month (our daughter had a very rare chromosome disorder). Initially I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be pregnant again; especially because we know we are more at risk of the same thing happening again if we have another girl. But now I am desperate to be pregnant - but I know I need to give myself longer to heal before we try again. Because of what we've been through I don't think we will ever lose that anxiety until we have a much wanted baby in our arms and despite other people's opinions we can't just forget what happened. Even when we do fall pregnant we are still going to worry more than most. Unfortunately we were the unlucky ones this time round. It doesn't mean it will be the same next time though and as hard as it is we must have some hope. You've fallen pregnant before so hopefully there shouldn't be any issues with getting pregnant again. After my termination I read the "TFMR" post within this topic and am pretty sure I came across several stories of a happy outcome for other mums after a previous pregnancy with ancephaly??. I'm sorry I can't give you more help but wanted to send you hugs and let you know I truly am sorry for you.

LuckyAugust Wed 19-Mar-14 17:32:02

Sorry - I gave you the wrong thread name before. Its called "Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4". When you've got a few hours sit down with a big bag of sweets, a cuppa and a box of tissues and read as much as you can (if you haven't already). Some amazing stories and ladies on here

sleepyhead Wed 19-Mar-14 17:37:51

I'm so sorry for your loss. I do know that, as you've had a pregnancy affected by neural tube defect, you'll be advised to take a much larger dose of folic acid before trying to conceive.

If you haven't already, then it would be worth seeing your GP to ask about that and also be reassured about how unlikely it is that something similar will happen again.

xxxxx to you.

MrsT2007 Thu 20-Mar-14 14:08:11

I can't help on anencephaly but I I can fully sympathise as I was exactly the same two years ago; I had TFMR of a baby we'd tried over a year for. Broke my heart, & pregnant women everywhere.

Try getting on agnus castus to try and regulate your cycle, take your prenatal vitamins & hang on in there. I don't think it's a coincidence I conceived the month after what should've been my due date. I'm sure the stress and grief leading up to it was no help at all. As it is, that baby was and is healthy, and crawling round the floor! It doesn't stand that one pregnancy that goes wrongs means another xx

JC74 Thu 20-Mar-14 20:58:26

In 2004 my baby was found to have anencephaly at the 20 week scan. I too was devastated as I'd had absolutely no clue that there was anything wrong.
Everything had looked fine at the 12 week scan so I couldn't take it in.
It was a long time before I felt ready to try for another baby. I already had my daughter and decided that was enough.
Fast forward to 2014 and I'm pregnant again. The hospital have been fantastic. I was prescribed the higher dose folic acid and took it until 16 weeks. They also gave be an extra scan at 16 weeks in light of my previous experience.
Needless to say I have been quite anxious throughout this pregnancy and have only just begun telling people.
I hope you have lots of support in RL and wish you strength and luck.

BitchPeas Sat 22-Mar-14 16:57:39

Thank you JC74. It's so rare it's hard to speak to people who have gone through it and have gone on to have a healthy baby. So thank you for sharing. Sorry about your loss and all the best for you and your family xx

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