Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4(776 Posts)
Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:
Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird George 24/07/11
Sarahmia baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
Oh gosh!!! Congratulations Kittens and family on your gorgeous new baby boy Alfie (boys are fab!)
My heart lept to read that update - enjoy all those previous first cuddles I am over the m
Thanks everyone. I'm so touched to see you all come back to get my news!
I'm loved up, if a little tired, achey and rather sore nipples!
Congratulations Kittens!!! Such fantastic news. And a great quick labour too - well done you
Welcome to your little Alfie too, I hope you are getting lots of newborn snuggles and resting up.
Will have to update our Thread Baby list - wheeee!!!! xxx
oh kittens, I can't believe it has finally happened for you. Enjoy yourself now he has finally arrived. I really thought you might have a girl...Love the name too, dd1 would have been alfred if she had different equipment!
Ghislaine, more official congratulations too! xx
Congratulations Kittens & Mr Kittens and hello Alfie! I'm so, so pleased for you all. As others have said, enjoy those baby snuggles . Re the sore nipples, I'm sure you'll get advice and pointers a plenty on Mumsnet, but do invest in Lansinoh, it's the best (and if you don't end up breastfeeding, it's pretty good as lip cream). Savoy cabbages are another good purchase...
and Belated Congratulations to Katie too! Seth is another great name. What's the age gap between him and Felix, about 2.5 years? It might be worth trying to set aside special cuddles time for Felix so that he knows at that time, HE comes first (well, feeds aside). I think we used to get DS to give BabyJ a toy - and then had to stop him turning her into a car park. It probably comes down to personality and what motivates them in the end; DS has always been very motivated by cars so to him, parking cars on his sister was the best way of playing with her given she couldn't respond at that age. I can't believe BabyJ is only around 2 months off being 3 now!!! Time flies. Luckily so far she and her brother get on pretty well, though it's getting more challenging now that she can talk so well as she'll tend to wind him up, and he always rises to it.
Good to see this thread is still going, giving hope and support to all who need a hand to hold when pregnant after loss.
Oops - missed out Ghislaine - congratulations on your news too! Hope all goes well for you this week re screening (it IS this week??).
Kittens!!!!! Many many congratulations on the safe (and rapid!!) arrival of Alfie, I've been randomly checking back for your news and its made my heart happy to see your update! Enjoy every second - it's been said a million times before but the time goes so quickly - get all the newborn cuddles and snuggles you can fit in
Also a big and belated congrats to ghislaine, hope all goes well with your scan xxxxxz
Thanks again for all the congrats. Challenging day yesterday with lots of crying (on both our parts!), got a good sleep last night though and going to breastfeeding drop in today before my nipples fall off! Also going to book him in for cranial osteopathy as he was born by venteuse and I've been told be various people this will be very helpful.
Best of luck to ghislaine. Please keep us posted. xxx
Kittens, you are doing brilliantly. Kamillosan was the nipple cream recommended to me - just persevere, it'll hopefully become second nature to you both, remember you are both new to breastfeeding. I have heard good things about cranial osteopathy, fingers crossed it works.
I had my combined screening yesterday. It was a long day and didn't get off to a good start when the temp nanny I'd booked couldn't get in because of some traffic incident. Cue a desperate call to a nursery near DH's work at 8.15am for an emergency place - luckily we got one, because I got to the hospital at 10am and and wasn't finished with testing until 5pm! The scan went well, I had the lovely midwife who's been involved in all three pregnancies remember me the minute I walked into the FMU. No soft markers and my bloods were okay too. My odds for T21 were 1490 (and 1:18000 for T13 and T18), worse than last time, but I think it must be because I am two years older now. They weren't keen to do cvs because of the combination of my tilted uterus and the position of the placenta (I had to switch to a transvaginal scan midway through because of these things) and I didn't feel the overwhelming urge to have one like I did with Charles, which surprised me. Also I couldn't have cvs that day because there was no cvs afternoon clinic and I'd missed the morning one because the scans were already running later that morning. So I then had the Harmony test that afternoon with the reserve option of an amnio in two weeks if I feel differently later.
I have also been booked in to have my anomaly scan at the FMU, which gives me some reassurance given what happened last time when I was scanned in the regular antenatal clinic. Baby was also measuring nearly a week ahead so I feel like I have "won" a bonus week that I don't have to get through!
hi ghislaine, I found my age made a massive difference to the odds, I am glad that you don't appear to be as anxious this time, maybe having charles has taken the pressure off for this pregnancy. Long old day of testing though.
Kittens, I think you are day 4??? big crying at this point. I am also a big fan of lansinoh but I mainly found those bf drop ins a life saver, could be the latch and then it just wont hurt any more. Knew somone who toughened hers up with a scrubbing brush when pregnant (eeugh) (!!) Although they don't recommend them because of nipple confusion I think the nipple protectors are better than giving up.
Kittens, congratulations, what lovely news! Really happy for you.
Ghislaine, sounds like decent scan odds for you and the harmony test is meant to be v accurate. Like you, we found we were a week ahead at the first scan and the bonus week is fab!
We had our 16 week scan this week and were told all looks fine. Have tentatively bought a toy and pair of maternity trousers and trying to believe it might happen now!
Hope everyone else is doing well and congrats again to the kittens family!
Ghiaine - brilliant news on the scan!
Kittens - all sounds fairly standard! I hope the drop in helped. Breastfeeding went totally wrong for me the first time round but having had a much more positive experience this time round I can say for sure that it is just a case of making sure you have a good latch and waiting for them to toughen up a bit! It is really bloody hard at first.
Numpty - hi!! Yes 2.5 years exactly - I think it's a bit too young to fully understand but old enough to feel pushed out! I love the idea of him using his bro as a car park lol, making car parks is his favourite thing to do so I will give it a try
Congratulations kittens, so happy to hear of the arrival of Alfie xx
and congratulations to ghislaine, glad the scan went well.
Hello all, what exciting news! Congratulations Kittens. I am absolutely delighted for you and Alfie is such a cute name. Your incredible patience has paid off. Would love to hear more about him.
And congratulations to Ghislaine too. How old is Charles now?
And Pizdets, I hope the pregnancy goes well.
Babycan't is three. Otherwise known as Biggirlcan't. Can you believe three years have passed?!
Hi to everyone else - Katie, congratulations too! Fab news. I had the same age gap. It gets easier pretty quickly - and then (sorry) my two now either adore each other or drive each other mad (never just ignore each other). But there is a peaceful period in between! and it's lovely anyway. My only advice is to keep bigging Felix up as your big boy, emphasizing all the clever things he can do and the treats he gets that his brother doesn't (eg 'your little brother can't have juice, can he? and you can'; 'you're brilliant at x') and he will soon see his brother's no threat.
Hi to all the oldtimers!
Congratulations Kittens! I am so happy that after everything you've been through, baby Alfie is here! I didn't have the chance to post as I has some manic weeks, but I logged on to see your news. I hope you are enjoying the newborn cuddles, you will soon have the first smile as well. See, I told you you would have a boy
Ghislaine, great news that the scan went well, and happy to see your news too Pizdets. As usual, sorry for a quick post, but I am thinking of you all.
Wow, a bit late, but huge huge congratulations to Kittens! And to Katie too! It's so great to see such good news for anyone on this lovely thread.
Hello, just popping on quickly whilst OH is holding Alfie. I'm not getting much time online between visitors and demanding, hungry baby! I am learning what everyone on the feeding boards means by "cluster feeding" .... Boy oh Boy!
So pleased to hear all went well for you ghislaine!
Alfie is a delight and a hit with everyone who's met him (or seen his photo on facebook!). He really is gorgeous! He likes a feed and has already passed his birth weight at 11 days old. I must admit I have had very up and down days. Lots of tears from both of us but lots of smiles from me and OH too. Lots of sore nipples, tits like very sore bags of rocks etc. Sleepless nights. etc etc. It certainly is challenging, but he's lovely so I forgive him. Even the cat likes him!
Thanks everyone for all your congratulations and for looking in for my news. After all these years that these threads have been going it's very touching to have all your support. I can't believe so many of the thread babies are 3 now!
Quick post from me to say my Harmony results are in, and they are in the low risk (1:10 000) category. So it's looking more likely that I'll be having a baby in Oct, so long as we get through the anomaly scan in six weeks' time.
That's fantastic ghislaine! Congratulations. And you kittens-sounds like you're doing just perfectly. Hope the tears are starting to diminish-on both sides and that you manage at least an occasional bit of sleep. xxx
Great news Ghislaine! I know it's just the first hurdle but it's a big hurdle.
Kittens- you sound so happy. It really is still making me smile that you have your beautiful baby boy after such a long wait. I only vaguely remember the sore nipples/tearful stage so I promise it will pass.
Hi ladies I just wondered if I could join? I recently had to have a termination of my baby at just under 23 weeks for dyplastic kidney disease in both kidneys amongst a couple of other things. We are still devastated as you can imagine but in the back if my mind my plan if what I wanted for my family is my desire to carry on. My daughter is 3 would have been 3 an half when baby was here and to us that was a perfect age. For me I'm 32 - 33 this year an wanted my children before 35. In summary I would want to try again soon but am so scared and how are you ever strong enough?
Be gentle with yourself Zen and just move at your own pace.
Just to let you know I was terrified [and very anxious for whole 12 weeks of next pregnancy after loss before calming down a little].
However, all was well and I was in my 40s...
Zen - very sorry to hear what you have been through. I think every stage has to be taken step by step and each brings its own worries. You will find the strength you need for the journey and there is a lot of support on this thread if you need it.
Ghislaine, congratulations! Another hurdle over and hopefully a plain sailing time ahead.
Ghislaine, that's great news, congratulations.
Zen, sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, it's hard to believe you'll ever be 'normal' again when you've been through something like this.
I'm now 20 weeks with my 'rainbow' pregnancy and so far it all looks OK (we had a scan at 16 weeks which was fine, anomaly scan is on Monday). I found the urge to have another baby was very strong once I was physically able, but for one reason or another it took us about 5 months to conceive. I actually think (for me) that it was better to have taken a little break as I was more emotionally ready to deal with the ups and downs - although still a mess at times, of course! It's also been very healing for me to have a pregnancy go well, as the baby we lost was my first, and it left me with all kinds of doubts about myself and my ability to have a baby at all.
I agree with FadedSapphire, go at your own pace and take it easy, we didn't really TTC much at all for several months after the loss as one or other of us was away with work and it really took the pressure off to not be getting back into that cycle of trying each month for a while!
Best of luck!
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