dont want to be pregnant

[toomanymuffins]

I feel so lost. I am 8 weeks pregnant. I dont feel any connection to this pregnancy, I just want it to disappear. It was kind of planned but the minute I saw the line I just went to pieces. I have 2 toddlers, I can't cope with another pergnancy and the first year. I cant think at all. I have always been against abortion and I dont want to have to have one but I need a way out of this. Can anyone offer any advice? I am in a daze and need help. My husband has taken a day off work to mind the children so that I can have some time to think but I am just going round in circles.

[toomanymuffins]

Havent had any replies - maybe this was the wrong place to post this. I apologise if I have offended anyone. I cant believe I feel this way either. I will try somewhere else.

[manitz]

hi don't want to read and run but it's difficult to reply to your post as it's such a personal choice. it sounds like you are having cold feet and imo it's normal to feel nervous about the pregnancy but you did think you wanted to be pregnant as you say it was kind of planned. i often dont feel a connection to my pg so early on. i have had two terminations because of medical reasons and have had three pregnancies since which have been difficult to deal with. during each I have wondered if i have done the right thing and i still don't know (currently 35 weeks).

You have to make a decision that is right for you but I have always been pro-abortion and I'm not sure how it would feel to be against abortion and to make that choice. Sorry not much help but don't want you to think you have been ignored. maybe take today really think about what it will be like with three kids and your age gaps and try to picture yourself in the different scenarios, i think your dh sounds very supportive btw.

I have 3 currently and the first year is tough but it gets better and i am going for no 4.

[manitz]

ps meant to add that it was easier moving from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2 if that helps at all. I think it's because I was used to juggling and sharing myself whereas with one i could only deal with one set of emotions. BUT my older two were 5 and 3 when i had ds.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

It is a very natural reaction I think, even with planned pregnancies. It's a hugely life changing thing and to have no doubts or worries at all would be strange imo. My current (third) pregnancy was totally unplanned and we agonised for at least a month about what to do, and I certainly felt no connection at all to the pregnancy. I'm 15 weeks now and we are both delighted, as are our families. It now seems much more real, having seen the scan, and we're allowing ourselves to get excited, whereas at first it was all the doom and gloom of how we would cope. Do speak to someone baout how you're feelign though, your GP would be a good first port of call, hopefully they could steer you in the right direction.

[tethersend]

Right, practicality wise, go and see your GP. If you are unsure, the referral process for a termination can take some time, so maybe start that process off to give yourself more options. You are not obliged to go through with it.

You should also receive some counselling as part of the process, which may help.

If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, cancel the appointment.

Making the appointment may sway you towards one decision or another.

Either way, you need to see your GP.

What does your DH say?

[toomanymuffins]

God I thought noone was going to reply. Thank you. Ok I need to see my GP, Ill do that although I will have to see my GP again, how will I face him knowing he knows I dont want to keep my own pregnancy? I know I just have to deal with that. I felt so exhausted when I came home, bit better now but cant do anything with the kids. DH is bathing them. He is very loving and would do anything for me but isnt talking about this and changes the subject when I mention it which is very difficult as it means I have noone to talk to. One minute I think I must have a termination and I can definitely do it, then I think I can get through the early days of a newborn and then itll be fine. I cant believe this situation, I am all over the place. I just want it to stop.

Thank you for the advice, I will try to get an appoitment with my GP tomorrow.

[mrsimpossible]

toomany- have you had any updates for us? i am interested to know how you are getting on.

[Toomanymuffins]

Thanks for asking mrsimpossible. Everything is much better now. After the horrendous day that I posted first I started to accept the fact that Im pregnant again - I dont know why/how, maybe I justneeded to get to my lowest point to climb back up again. Dh and I had a rocky week and then started to talk about the new addition. I feel guilty for having any doubts at all aboutthis new little person, although I am still nervous and worried about money / work / how we will cope wih the early days, but I know that somehow we will copeand we will love this baby just like our first 2. I cant say i amfloating on a cloud like i was with previous pregnancies - but hopefully that will come.

Thanks again to the posters above for their support.

[Sarahmarie2505]

Glad ur feeling better! I'm in exactly the same position!