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Antenatal/postnatal depression

My husband does not understand my hormones and tears??? Any one else feel the same?

5 replies

Edenbage1979 · 10/04/2016 01:50

I had my baby 5 weeks ago and I love her so much. My husband and I have always had an amazing relationship, but the last five weeks have been a strain, with little sleep and hormones. I don't cry often but at least once a week I feel like a cry, I know this is due to the fact I'm so tired. Iv tried to explain how I feel but get told that im making his time off rubbish and that I never used to be like this. It makes me feel like rubbish to be honest and I just don't know how to make him understand that crying is a release.pleaae does anyone else feel this way and what can I do???

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MusicIsMedicine · 14/01/2017 18:27

His attitude stinks. You have just had a baby! It's not all about him and his precious time off. He doesn't have all the hormones, hell I cried constantly from being over whelmed with emotions.

You need support, not resentment. Tell him to stop being an arsehole!

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mumonashoestring · 14/01/2017 18:32

Well, if he's usually a rational, pleasant human being then it's worth asking the health visitor to have a chat with him about hormone fluctuations and the difference between sad crying and crying as a release. Sometimes people will take something from a professional that they just won't 'hear' from a loved one or friend.

However, if he's usually much more concerned about his comfort than yours, perfectly willing to upset you to try and get you back into line etc. then I suggest you tell him to put his big boy pants on and consider the fact that not everything is about him. Especially now.

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SpeakNoWords · 14/01/2017 18:35

Um, is he usually so unkind and unpleasant to you? Why isn't he concerned about you? It's not a very nice reaction to your upset.

I don't know what you can say to him to make him understand, tbh. You could ask him if he means to be so unkind and uncaring.

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AyeAmarok · 14/01/2017 19:00

I had a baby 7 weeks ago and I know what you mean. The exhaustion, the stress about weigh-ins and the Health Visitor, the intensity. Of course your emotions will be all over the place! What you need him to do is listen to you, give you a cuddle and give you support. Not tell you that you're ruining it for him

I had a traumatic birth and I'm still really trying to process that. For the first couple of weeks DP was great as I think he was a bit traumatised too and we talked about what happened a lot, trying to piece it all together. Now, he's over it, but I'm not (plus I still have a few minor issues from it that haven't quite resolved yet) and I can tell that now when I bring it up he's a bit eye rolly and is thinking "just get over it". Which makes me feel completely unsupported, and then upset, and so probably makes him want to talk about it even less, making me feel worse... Vicious circle.

I think that not feeling supported might lead some women into PND, I can certainly see why it would. So your DH needs to stop being an arse and making it all about him.