Please help me!!! - heartbreak and miscarriage

(15 Posts)
ilovechocolate80 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:41:50

5 months pregnant. Stalked new partners phone to discover he's been unfaithful like me ex. I'm in so much pain. I havent slept not even one hour. I can't stop crying and I'm scared my baby is going to be miscarried because of this. Please help me.

Baconyum Sat 02-Apr-16 21:43:38

Stress doesn't necessarily lead to mc. So sorry you're going through this. Have you anyone you can talk to in real life? Can you go to GP for reassurance on Monday?

Avpixie27 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:43:58

Thats so horrible to hear, have you split or talked to him or are you currently processing? Do you have friends or family near?

daydreamnation Sat 02-Apr-16 21:46:29

You need to try and focus on you and your unborn child (congratulations thanks) and however hard it is disengage from any contact with 'd'p. Do you have someone who can keep you company, your baby will be fine but you will quickly feel dreadful if your not eating, drinking and getting some rest. Could a friend or relative stay with you? I feel for you, I really do sad

ilovechocolate80 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:49:10

Sister and friend supporting. Talk got nowhere. I love him so much and I can't believe he could do this to me. Read that stress can cause still birth my baby boy is only 22 weeks. No sleep all night. Sobbing all day. Trying to stop but I cant

ilovechocolate80 Sat 02-Apr-16 21:49:57

Thank you so much. I'm so scared and it hurts so much.

Baconyum Sat 02-Apr-16 22:02:49

Stress levels usually would need to be extremely high for a good while before affecting baby. Just make sure you keep drinking plenty and eating light easy but nutritional things like eggs and soup.

Avpixie27 Sat 02-Apr-16 22:04:56

Its ok to cry and grieve because it is a loss of trust at the end of the day. But aslong as you eat and keep hydrated, you being worried about the baby shows you wont neglect yourself because the baby needs you and that baby will be your world soon and you wont need a guy like that around when their little face sees yours

ilovechocolate80 Sat 02-Apr-16 22:41:50

Thank you so much. That is really helping. I've made myself drink and eat. I just can't sleep. I screen shot the messages. 4 years ago I never did that when my ex cheated. I keep reading it and I can't believe him. He sounds so seedy getting this ex fcuk buddy to send him old photos and agreeing to meet up. He told me I misunderstood and overreacted. Then my sensible sister saw them and hit the roof. Stuck up for me. Now he's in bits too. Why can't people just be decent to each other? So much heart break over worthless smut
So tired. Thank you for telling me my baby will be okay at least

Avpixie27 Sat 02-Apr-16 23:08:31

I know its hard when you trust someone and then see evidence of them cheat and they try to twist it. But the plus side is you have a reason to look after yourself. Which means that instead of doing the classic crying in bed you have to get up and eat and drink, you got a little baby with you giving you the feeling of someone is there for you because no matter what happens they are attached to you right now and (boy or girl) they are loving you and you need to just feel that. Not anything about him. Just enjoy your pregnancy and being able to eat craving food and relax smile

daydreamnation Sun 03-Apr-16 10:52:38

Are you ok this morning? Please don't feel sorry for him if he's upset, you need to not minimise what he has done. You're pregnant, he should be putting you and your unborn child first and if he can do this now, what do you think the future will hold? Just focus on your baby, is it your first? I hope you're managing to eat and rest. Keep people close by to take care of you and keep p at arms left.

ilovechocolate80 Mon 04-Apr-16 10:14:26

Hello you kind, caring people. So I managed to sleep and eat. Sent sister the screen grabs off his phone. She went wappy at him and told him in no uncertain terms I was not overreacting. Unbeknown to me, he came over and was outside and heard me sobbing hysterically. Knocked on the door, refused to let him in.
At that point the reality of what he had done finally dawned on him and he was incredibly upset.
I told him I wouldn't have a relationship with him any more unless he could explain why he did it and convince me he is strong enough to respect me even when he's pissed off. After allot of talking and crying he managed to convince me.
It hurts allot to think about it, but I'm just hoping he's learned allot. He would have to be a psychopath to do it again after what he said. He knows he is out of chances now. Urghhhh.
I really hope I'm doing the right thing trusting him again, but my gut tells me I am so far.
I've tried to look after baby by giving us lots of food and rest. It was terrifying being that upset and exhausted while pregnant.
Thanks SO SO much for your kind reassuring messages when I needed them. I can't tell you how much they helped. I'll update you on baby boy who I'm hoping is okay after all this and will come end of July/early Aug. Bought him his first set of clothes yesterday. The whole experience made me realise how connected we both are. He could feel my adrenalin and was cartwheeling every moment I was upset.

Thank you all so much xxxx

Avpixie27 Tue 05-Apr-16 12:31:17

I hope it works out for you. Always go with your gut and i bet (hopefully it doesnt) if it did happen again you and your sister would have his guts for garters. Im glad you are ok and baby is ok. All the best x

KnitFastDieWarm Tue 05-Apr-16 12:37:19

your partner is a tosser angry but your lovely baby will be just fine 😊 if stress caused miscarriages the human race would have probably all died out long ago - after all, people have babies during wars and all sorts of horrible stuff. babies are surprisingly tough! 😀 congratulations on your pregnancy, you and your baby will be just fine without this cheating git in your lives x

cocochanel21 Tue 05-Apr-16 12:46:22

Your baby will be fine. My whole pregnancy with Dd2 was stressful from the start. At 7mths I suffered a breveament that nearly finished me off. Dd2 was born fit and healthy.
Good Luck.

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