Name changed for anonymity.
My DD is 12 weeks old. I had issues with anxiety during pregnancy leading to a month off work and antidepressants which I stopped taking due to side effects and then felt I didn't need anymore. All relating to fear of miscarriage, then of preterm birth. Was convinced something would go wrong (had 2 early miscarriages).
DD born at 39 weeks following traumatic 4 day labour ending with episiotomy and forceps in theatre. Honestly thought I was going to die I felt so bad. Recovery much harder than I thought but for 2/3 weeks felt more happy and content than I ever have.
Fast forward to the beginning of 'milestones'. Around 5 weeks I began to compare to other babies born at the same time. DS has done everything she needs to, physically she's fantastic, socially she evidently knows me and DH, follows us around the room, fantastic eye contact, 'chats' to us, bats her toys, very interested in toys and faces/people. She has smiled since 5-6 weeks but isn't a smiley baby really - I really struggle to get a picture of her smiling and mostly she tends to grim rather than do those big gummy smiles you see pictures of, although she has done some. My problem is I'm now obsessing over this. I must have read somewhere that a lack of smiles has been linked to autism as it has stuck in my head....even though she does smile. My day consists of me trying to make her smile all day and I admit I feel frustrated at her when she doesn't. When she is excited she tends to go wide eyed and open mouthed. When she's asleep like now I am constantly googling or looking on Instagram at babies her age and feeling anxious that she isn't as smiley as them. I am obsessed, I don't feel hungry, I'm teary and so anxious even though there is nothing else about her that I feel I need to worry about. Do some babies just not smile as much??
I feel like I need help but I don't know what to do. My husband is a great support and is surprised that I feel something is wrong with her. I feel sorry for him that I'm going over and over the same thing all the time.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Think I may have PND - please help
3 replies
jaychops · 18/01/2016 11:59
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