Antidepressants? Bit of a life story think I just did this for a quick realease I'm not to sure:')(2 Posts)
Hello there I'm new to this actually it's my first ever post so sorry if it's abit long or I've done it weirdly to normal, anyway I was wondering what is people's thoughts on antidepressants? You see growing up for me (which may seem funny to some as I am young) was quite difficult, I had a rather difficult childhood which led into self harm and about 8 different homes within a year but I moved on from all of that and I found myself a lovely boyfriend which after a year I fell pregnant with, during my pregnancy my emotions were fine! I was loving my bump! Showing it of in vests tops! I couldn't wait to be a mum! And to cradle my new baby, I had dreams! Eventhough it was a difficult pregnancy were I was being sick twice a day, even in labour, I still loved being pregnant! And off course the self harming stopped before me and my boyfriend even considered of having a baby, we eventually got our own place because we was living with his parents, got a mortgage, didn't earn benefits and at this time I was only 17 and he was 19! ( I understand many people will critise because of my age but please don't be Ageist it's not pleasant ) at the age of 18 and my boyfriend 20 I gave birth to my gorgeous little boy! With dark hair and tanned skin just like his dad but had mummy's blue eyes;) (well they turned brown haha) I couldn't believe how lucky I was! I even breast fed which not many people do these days anymore, but I wanted what's best for my baby considering at my 5 month scan I got told that he had a hole in his heart which will need operating on, on the day of his birth. He was taken away and scanned and prodded it was unbearable but we got told he was perfectly fine! It was the happiest day of my life, I couldn't explain the love you feel when you first meet your new baby, words couldn't possible describe it, it's uncontainable love. I'm sure you all know what I mean ,The next morning me and my son was aloud home, however we received a phone call from a specialist hospital, alder hey, who kindly explained that what they saw in their scan pictures of him in the womb, they don't believe could heal on its own because of how big the hole was so 4 days later we drove to alder hey so he could be scanned were our fears came to life, I got told That my 1 week old baby boy would have breathing problems within the next two weeks and needs to be put on diuretics, but were aloud home, within the next couple of days he completely changed he couldn't feed on me anymore as it took him to much energy, his lips would turn blue! And he would fall asleep after 3 mouthfuls he was then admitted into hospital, 6 weeks in he nearly died due to his breathing problems, which is still difficult for me to talk about at the moment, then that's when I started my course of anti depressants which at first at the time they were brilliant for me! I didn't cry once at the hospital because I didn't want my baby to see me cry, every time I went to I just thought of that and looked at him sleeping in the cot next to me as I watched the soaps:') he looked so fragile but still so beautiful! A week after he had his open heart surgery, and he done so well! The operation went so well!I couldn't thank alder hey enough! I was so relieved it was all over with but still so scared because of what he went through but then I was so proud of him for fighting threw it and angry because it didn't get done when he was born it was a mixture of emotions! I couldn't wait for him to get better so I could hold him! I held his hand threw everything! I couldn't stop touching him I'm such a protective mum now:') he's going to hate me when he's a teenager! After all of that I carried on with the antidepressants, however my health was to good either my bleeding since I gave birth still hasn't stopped and by that time My baby was 3 months old, that was the age he was aloud home his scar healed so well and he started on bottles as he started getting teeth haha we carried on like a normal happy family with Ryan in work, me at college and the baby at a cresh! Months went by and my bleeding still hasn't stopped, my baby is now 1 years old and a healthy strong boy! I couldn't be more proud! I love him to pieces he his my life!, so as you can see I've been threw quite abit, don't get me wrong I love my life at the moment! I recently come of the anti depressants about 3 weeks ago I dealt with it fine at first it was hard but I've gone back to normalish now and I don't no whether this is normal for people who have been on them for a while or whether I should go back to them I'm just worried of having an explosion! You know when you do when you get stressed, everyone does it! Like the saying the cups to full and its goner over flow or something like that or whether I just need a good cry oh I don't know just someone help:')
Poor you, you have gone through a lot, but you now need to be reassured that thing's can only get better, getting off anti depressant's is a very good thing, but now you are making yourself ill with worry and that is not good. What you need is to get out and about, try an find a local mums group, your health visitor would give you a lot of information, please use her she is the ideal person to talk to. Just because your little one is coming on leaps and bounds, does not mean there is no support for you, you only have to ask. don't feel alone. Health visitor's are there for new mums and mums in general. I work with a charity that deals with young mums (& dads) and our health visitor is so nice, helpful and so knowledgeable. Phone or visit your local surgery and just ask if you can make an appointment to see her, more often than not she will visit you at home.
Chin up hun, all us mums go through this, it's part of being a mum.
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