Hello, my quick background is that I'm a single mum to a 23 month old girl. She's always been a brilliant, easy child. She sleeps, eats, behaves, is healthy and happy and gorgeous. She's a sperm donor baby so I had her on my own very much by choice. She's everything I ever wanted in a daughter, although is not affectionate which may be part of the problem.
I feel like such an ungrateful, awful mum, all of the time.
I can look at her all day and half of me thinks she's absolutely amazing but at the same time I feel nothing. I don't think I'm bonded to her and consequently I can't play with her and feel utterly despairing. I try and cuddle her a lot but she pushes me off. We read books together which is about as close as we get. I 'enjoy' her fleetingly, as in I like hearing her learn new words, laugh when she's funny and love dressing her and teaching her new things. But I have this underlying feeling of a disconnection. I love her in my own way, but I suspect not in the way most mums do. I just can't believe I have got exactly what I always wanted (a lovely happy healthy little girl) and now I have her I am just not feeling it.
Anyone else feel this way? What can I do?
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2 replies
Singlegaymumofonetoddler · 10/02/2015 18:07
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