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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Roller coaster of feelings

2 replies

gollygoshers · 09/01/2015 22:47

I've been diagnosed with PND & only realised I wasn't ok when my DS was 6 months old. I was due to return to work, reluctantly might I add and had 101 things to do one evening. My DH was out I was preparing dinner, sterilising bottles & my DS was in his bouncer screaming. Before I put dinner in the oven I suddenly panicked OMG what if I put my baby in the oven!!! Through sleep deprivation. No idea where thought cane from. Scared the life out of me. So much so asked DH to stay of work next day as I woke up feeling frightened. Went through the phase of what if I hurt my baby? Got over that then had this overwhelming feeling I couldn't cope. I didn't want to be here anymore. Terrified I'd do something to myself. Went to doc's & was given sertaline. Was very nervous of taking meds but did when I had a crazy out of body type of experience when I felt the lights were on but nobody was home & as if I was almost watching myself from afar. So that was it. The start of my meds. Luckily not had side effects other than nausea initially. The trouble is I've been on sertaline 50mg for 4 wks but some days I'm ok. Other days I torment myself. I question myself. I wonder if I'm a bad person as I has such awful thoughts. I wonder if I am crazy! Other days I'm ok. It's such a roller coaster. I hoped I was improving but still don't feel me. Don't feel normal. And that's all I want to be

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Irelephant · 10/01/2015 15:50

Antidepressants are tricky to get right. Everyone's brain is wired differently so different pills affect people differently.

You need to remember that's all depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your not a bad person at all.

I have been on citalopram since I developed PND with my eldest 9 years ago. It took a while to find the right pills.

There may be someone with more knowledge about (I'm in no way medically trained) but I'm sure it takes three weeks to work out whether the tablets are working properly or not.

From what you've said you should maybe go back and discuss trying a different antidepressant.

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gollygoshers · 10/01/2015 17:17

Thanks irelephant, back at doc's on Thu so will ask. I'm referred to a counsellor/psychologist /psychiatrist....not sure which one. Hope they can give me some sort of advice. Interested in trying CBT as I really need to sort my head out & my feelings. Have you had/heard of any good talking therapies?