antenatal health anxiety about pnd triggered

[squizita]

Just that really. Need somewhere to say it without sounding daft or heartless.
I have health anxiety focused around gyni/pregnancy/babies at the moment. Have always had anxiety (issues with relative as a child raising me with undiagnosed issues). Manage it perfectly OK with CBT and counselling, so I guess it's mild.
Anyway over the last 4 years I had recurrent miscarriage and 2 minor cancer scares - one linked to a loss. So pregnancy became a trigger. Happily now 38 weeks and healthy.

BUT recently a long term friend who had serious pnd has been opening up about it. I want to be there for her but I sense as well as empathy it's also like she assumes I will get full blown psychosis and is telling me. It's really triggering me in terms of fear.
Rationally my team think I will have anxiety flare ups but can usually recognise these and nip them in the bud. I have a supportive DH.
I don't know what to do. I feel terribly cruel if I avoid these conversations but at the same time I can feel a well of terror and anxiety that she has "seen something" in me meaning I WILL be as unwell as she was (she had an awful, awful time and took years to recovwr).
Just venting here I guess ... I feel like a bad person though as I usually can be there for others with MH like me... but this is triggering me...

[RadioMusicola]

Sorry to hear that. I have experience of both PND and AND and it's shit.
If it will end up making you terribly ill, you must try and avoid her at the moment, are you able to explain this to her?

Does she have others who can support her? You need to look after yourself, especially if you are about to have a baby (congratulations!)

Sorry I haven't been much help but didn't want your post to be unanswered.

[squizita]

Thanks.
I suspect it's the way she talks about it. She tends to talk about her own experiences as if they are "universal" then suddenly realises and says "oh yeah but I was an extreme case".
I am making sure I have support close at hand ready before birth, sadly she did not and people treated her quote badly imo.
I think I will reassure her that people are here for her NOW but also mention I get worried and anxious about it. I am sure she will be kind about it, I wonder if she even realised.

[RadioMusicola]

Yes I am sure you are right that if she knew she would be kind. Those kinds of conversations are sooo hard though aren't they.

I think soon you will be pretty busy and might not have time for her anyway Do you know if you are having a DD or a DS?

[squizita]

DD! Hospital have been wonderful re my anxiety, always explain and give second opinions. Also encouraged me to try the MLU for birth (in my mind I link this with physical good health, so it is really confidence boosting). :) DH also good. Knows the signs of problems and is a good advocate. The FULL also said any issue after birth if the nhs aren't on it quickly he will help us access private therapy.
I'm really very lucky indeed! :) Of course I won't go into this too much with my friend as she had a rough time re support. Makes you think what a lotto the nhs is!

[squizita]

Full? F I L!

[RadioMusicola]

Sounds like you are in really good hands then!
Awww I have two DDs! They are the best.

Honestly just focus on you and what's going on with your baby. Your friend can lean on someone else for a bit. Well done for managing to help her for this long!

Very best of luck