I thought I wanted a third, so why do I feel so awful?

(11 Posts)
Beachballfamily Sat 01-Mar-14 09:14:12

Had my third child last week. I was so desperate for another, it was the most important thing in the world to me. DH really wasn't keen and basically just went along with it for me. But now she is here, all I can think about is how life was so much better before she came along. My other two children are aged 4 and 6 so relatively independent and we were a really close unit of 4. We're did so much together and I feel that I have destroyed our family by bringing a baby into the mix. I don't have time for them, am exhausted and just in floods of tears all the time. I can't see the screen properly typing this. I just want her gone - I don't want to hurt her, and do love her, but I just feel this was all a massive mistake.

Hobby2014 Sat 01-Mar-14 09:24:56

Didn't want to read and run but I'm not a mum yet so really don't know how you're feeling.

But I can imagine its a tough time at the minute, you're probably exhausted, sleep deprived and your family group has just changed dramatically. I'd not be too hard on yourself and just try to get support from your family, get them to help you out.

Hopefully someone else will come along in a minute who has felt how you have felt and may be able to offer you some more advice x

Sillylass79 Sat 01-Mar-14 09:30:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumbershoot Sat 01-Mar-14 09:31:16

OP I've been there and honestly it WILL get easier! You're very emotional because you've just had a baby - cut yourself some slack. At the moment you need to try and draft in as much help as possible and just settle in with your new DD. Your older DCs will absolutely love having a baby! Just take the first few weeks as they come. Congratulations!!

Sillylass79 Sat 01-Mar-14 09:31:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ra88 Sat 01-Mar-14 19:19:05

I was the same for the first 2 weeks when I had DS (now 4 weeks) I felt that I had ruined things for my dd who is 4 !

I don't feel like that now and I'm sure you won't either in a week or so

ithoughtofitfirst Mon 03-Mar-14 14:05:50

There are a million reasons you've made your life better.

Once the newborn (oh shit what have i done) stage passes

Hugs xxx

neolara Mon 03-Mar-14 14:13:01

If you only had dc3 last week, you're hormones are likely to be all over the place so it's not surprising you are feeling dreadful. It will be OK, I promise. It just feels rubbish now because you've just given birth, you are probably beyond exhausted and you have two other little ones to look after. This stage will be over before you know it.

Do you have anyone at home with you who could help out for the first little bit?

Strongecoffeeismydrug Wed 12-Mar-14 09:19:19

It will get easiergrin.
I had my third 5 weeks ago and it's only this week that I've felt like me again.
Lack of sleep, routine and the demands of a newborn are utterly exhausting hmm.
My little one is sat on my knee right now smileing at me and it's melting my heart and making the last 5 weeks all worth itsmile.

HopelessDei Sun 16-Mar-14 21:06:35

I think this is a very normal reaction, I felt this way about having my second, that I had upset our happy little trio, ruined Dc1's life etc

Your new baby will very soon become part of the furniture!

babynelly2010 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:38:55

I think it is a normal thing to feel that way. When DS was born things were a bit crazy and emotional. I felt guilty about having a second baby because things were not jiving well together in the beginning. DS now 7 month and after a short while it felt so right, he just suddenly fit right in and things just got easier and better. We are family of 4 now and it is fantastic. It melts my heart watching them together, it is so wonderful. Just hang in there things will get better.

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