12 weeks and feeling low

(5 Posts)
mel90 Fri 21-Feb-14 18:47:10

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mum. I hate that my feelings are ruining what should be a happy time for me. I have a complicated life. No family or friends around me. The baby's father has up until last week stayed with his ex and kids. He left to support me. The pregnancy wasn't planned and I would have liked to have waited a few more years yrt but I'm happy nevertheless. At the moment I am dealing with his emotions as he splits up his family for me. I feel like I must be happy and I'm not allowed to feel like this. We work together too so I have to leave a job that I love before anyone starts to notice. All week he has worked late and been on his phone nonstop. I don't want to nag or make comment about it but it is making me feel insecure. Can't help feeling like this pregnancy has turned me into a crazy insecure mess! I suppose not having any parents isn't helping or feeling so isolated. I hope nobody judges, I just needed to get it off my chest and find out if I'm normal!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Fri 21-Feb-14 19:13:33

Don't worry, you are normal. A lot of people go through this after having a baby and your situation sounds quite stressful.

Why do you have to leave your job? Can you go back at a later date?

Talk to your HV or doctor about how you are feeling and what the best way to get support is smile

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 21-Feb-14 20:42:17

When you say you don't have family or friends around you, is it that you're far from home or you fear their reactions?

You probably know the old saying, "Life's what happens when we're making other plans". Unplanned, this baby nonetheless deserves of the best start in life s/he can have. It's normal to wonder if you're up to the challenge. I bet a large percentage of first time expectant women feel some degree of trepidation, however secure their circumstances. I know I did.

First of all I would make yourself an appointment with your GP ifyou are feeling increasing anxiety, this is the first step to getting help.

Secondly whether or not the father of your baby is planning to support you or opt out, you need to plan for the worst, hope for the best. If you are not supported by a network of family or friends, the sooner you make plans the better. What benefits are you entitled to, are you living somewhere suitable for bringing a baby home?

Put by little items each week, babies don't need brand new or This Season articles of clothing or equipment.

I think you should be open with the midwife when you see her so she has a clear picture of your circumstances. If you feel you are struggling, tell her.

mel90 Sat 22-Feb-14 13:09:39

Thank you for your replies,

I have to leave my job before everyone at work finds out as it would be obvious that its the boss!

My mother is an alcoholic whom I haven't spoken to in years and my father pretty much struggles with my brother and I due to the way I was brought up. My brother is the only family I have and he lives 200 odd miles away. I can't help but feeling helpless and so lonely. I always imagined pregnancy to be so much different. I will try my damn hardest to give my baby the best start in life I possibly can. I am already in awe of the unconditional love I feel for him/her.

I have a few weeks yet until I see my midwife again but I will talk her thank you both for not judging me.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 22-Feb-14 18:42:17

No judgement from me OP, just hoping things get easier for you.

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