When is it more than feeling sad?

[firsttimekat]

I'm currently 21 weeks and really struggling, I don't know if it's just pregnancy/miscarriage hormones or whether it's more. I hope this won't offend anyone if I say the wrong thing, would like to hear from other people and what helped them.

So I had a miscarriage in August and the due date is approaching and I'm sure that isn't helping, I thought I was coping but it seems to have stepped up now we are a month to the due date.

As I said I'm also 21 weeks pregnant ( fell straight away) and annoyed with the hospital but that's a whole other thread.

I'm keeping it together at work, although finding it stressful and really only doing the minimum. I don't think I'm busier than before just not holding it together in the same way.

However what has me worried (and no doubt DH) is my overwhelming sense of sadness and that everything is outside my control. Last night I went up stairs to get my book and ended up in floods of tears and couldn't stop but couldn't really explain why I was crying. This happened at the weekend as well. Feels like back to the immediate aftermath of the miscarriage and that uncontrollable crying.

It's my birthday tomorrow and I just opened my card from my mum to burst into tears at the stupid poem... And now crying writing this....

Has anyone felt the same? Is this normal pregnancy or something more? And what can I do to feel back to my normal self? The hospital offered counselling at the time of the miscarriage and I wondered if I should have followed this up, has anyone tried it, did it help?

Sorry for the long post!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Hi there,

I didn't want this to go unanswered. sorry you've had such a devastating loss. That can't be easy. This all sounds pretty normal to me from my own experience and that of close friends. I think your hormones just go completely bonkers when you're pregnant and that teamed with a few traumas along the way can just knock you for six. Give yourself a break cause you're doing great first of all. Have you spoken to your gp about how you're feeling? That's always the best way to start with these things. It might be more than just hormones but it's best to be on the safe side. What do you think? Sometimes you just get a gut feeling about these things and you know yourself better than anyone X

[fluffandsnuff]

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

It's not just you. I'm off work this week (18 weeks pregnant) as I spent 2 days earlier this week crying uncontrollably and after having panic attacks a couple of weeks ago I decided it was time to go to my gp- he was really sympathetic and told me to rest and to come back if taking this week off doesn't do the trick.

Yesterday was a better day- the mornings are worse but I forced myself to go swimming and take a walk to get a sandwich. Mindless tasks help- mine's knitting as I'm new to it and can't think and knit at the same time. Watching the winter olympics helps too!

Hope you feel better soon (and if you have any tips of your own let me know- it's a struggle to stay in a good place)!

[firsttimekat]

Thanks for your messages and sorry for the time delay.

I found just writing it down helped, I found it hard to talk to DH about it, but actually voicing it and reading about other experiences made me realise I wasn't the only one.

I've been feeling much better since, and today found out we are having a little boy!

I feel I've accepted that it's ok to feel down sometimes and that it's part of the pregnancy roller coaster and that it won't (at least for me) last for ever. I'm sure there will be other low points especially as we get to what should have been my due date but I'll get there.