Is this normal?

(2 Posts)
Kbel71 Tue 18-Feb-14 19:37:05

Pnd or baby blues?
Hi I'm 3 weeks pp and I dontknow if what I'm feeling is normal or not, I absolutely love my lo but I feel like I can't cope. My partner left me 2 weeks before she was born so I'm on my own, im staying with my mum untill the end of the month but I'm being so nasty to her because i always think shes putting me down and im sure she thinks im a useless mum but I think it's just me. I cry all the time and don't have the energy to do anything, i dread when people come to visit as i have to pretend to be happy. I keep having nightmares and flashbacks about the birth, had ventouse delivery as she had the cord around her neck and was in distress I feel guilty because I couldn't push her out myself and didnt really know what was happening as everyone was just panicking, she was blue when she came out and they took her straight away, i thought she was dead, her APGAR score was 3 but she improved after a few hours, I cry when I think about her delivery and then feel selfish because others have a much worse time than me. I hate myself atm and just think she would be better off with someone else. She crys all the time and i get so frustrated that i cant settle her that i just burst into tears I think it's my fault that I'm making her so sad. I can't eat which I'm not to worried about as i feel so fat that id quite like to lose the weight but people keep going on at me to eat. when she sleeps I get too scared to fall asleep for ages as I think she will stop breathing and am terrified something bad will happen to her, I'm so worried that she will get ill and i won't know what to do. I do think I'm bonding with her but sometimes i look at her and feel so bad that she has me as her mum and a dad who doesn't care. I don't know what's happened to
Me, I used to be so confident and happy and now i just want to hide away from everyone as I don't want them to know iv failed already. I just feel like running away n leaving her with my mum. Are these normal feelings? I'm sorry for the long post and if it doesn't make much sense I'm not great with words. But if anyone has some advice or can tell me it will get better in time that would be great. Thankyou.

Mogz Tue 18-Feb-14 19:55:23

First off it WILL get better, being a mum for the first time is hard and nothing can prepare you, if you're getting baby through each day fed and clean then you're doing just fine.
You really must try to eat though as you need the energy, if you feel you have no appetite try smoothies, milk, milkshakes and fruit juice.
Make an appointment with your GP or HV and talk to them, in fact show them what you've written here. They'll be able to reassure you and support you.
Best wishes, keep your chin up.

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